I stare at the ceiling.

I don't want to do anything.

I don't want to be anything.

I don't want to see anything.

I just want everything to go away.

I don't want to breathe.

I don't want to think about it.

I play music loudly through my headphones trying to block out my thoughts, but it's not working.

My thoughts still bubble and stick to my mind.

It's like a never ending form of torture.

I can't do this.

Even if I wanted to fix everything, it wouldn't work.

It would all fall apart again.

It's all my fault anyway.

It's always my fault.

"Kyle?" There a knock on my door.

"What?"

"Stan's here..."

I sit up and stare at the door.

Why is Stan here? Is he going to try to make it right and then leave me alone forever?

I don't want that.

I'm opening the door before I realize it.

Stan stands there with my mom. She smiles and walks away.

I turn to Stan.

I can't think of anything to say.

I don't know what to say.

I move out of the way letting him into my room.

I sit on the bed and he sits on the chair by my desk.

Neither of us say anything.