It was late into the night when we finally decided to call it quits on the star gazing. Silas had texted Ray to let him know he wasn't coming home tonight.

                Michigan was asleep in the grass near us, but he sleepily picked his head up as we started heading towards the house. Silas grabbed my arm before we got too far from the telescope.

                "Everything okay?" I asked, looking over my shoulder at him.

                "You always take a picture," he said.

                "Oh!" I said, smacking my palm to my forehead. "Sorry, I was so caught up in the sky, I totally forgot about my phone."

                I took my phone out of my back pocket and shifted closer to Silas. I made sure the telescope was in the background of our picture as we both smiled at the camera. I snapped the picture, looking at the frozen image on the screen.

                Silas's smile was still small and a little awkward, but it was there. It was there, next to my own genuine smile.

                I knelt down and shook Michigan a little. He whined and reluctantly got up to follow me inside the house.

                Silas and I went upstairs, Michigan trailing behind us. I stopped to let him into my parents' room before continuing on down to mine.

                Silas was looking at his phone as we entered the room. He locked it and tucked it back in his pocket.

                "My friends want to get breakfast tomorrow," he said. He put his hands in his pocket and looked away from me. "You can come if you want, I guess."

                "Kaito isn't really a fan of me," I said.

                "He said it was okay to bring you. 'Long as you're not being annoying," he said.

                "I'm always annoying, so," I said. "But I'm also always down for breakfast. First, I'm down for sleep."

                I let Silas borrow some clothes to sleep in and the two of us got changed. Silas stood there as I pulled the covers on my bed back, like he was waiting for something.

                "Are you comfortable sharing the bed?" I asked, realizing he was waiting for me to tell him where to sleep. "If not, I can set up blankets on the floor and sleep there."

                "I ain't going to make you sleep on the floor in your own house," Silas said.

                I gestured to my bed. "It's big enough that Akira, Jack, and I can usually squeeze together. But we don't have to share it if you're not comfortable with that."

                "Are, you know, are you comfortable? With that? It's your room." He had dropped his gaze, his telltale nervous sign.

                "Sure, there's nothing weird about it," I said with a shrug, lying on my bed. "Just please, god, tell me you don't hog the blankets. Jack always hogs the blankets."

                "I don't," Silas said, getting onto the bed and lying as far from me as he could get without falling off.

                "Silas, I don't bite. You don't have to sleep right on the edge," I said, motioning to the plentiful free space between us.

                He hesitantly moved over a little bit. I stretched and got up, turning off the lights and lying back down. I closed my eyes, feeling tired but not tired enough to fall right to sleep.

                I was finally starting to nod off when I heard Silas shifting. He moved restlessly, trying not to make too much noise but failing. I rolled over to face him.

                "Everything okay?" I asked with a yawn.

                "Yea, I just- Sorry. I'll quit movin'. I'm going to step out for a bit," he said, starting to get up.

                I reached out and caught his shirt. "I can't stop you from smoking. But I can tell you that I listen better than a cigarette."

                It was dark, but my eyes were adjusted just enough to make out his troubled expression. His hands moved anxiously, so I caught one in mine and tugged him back down until he was sitting on the bed. I sat up, shaking the sleep off as best I could so I could focus on Silas.

                "What's wrong?" I asked.

                "Nothin'. Just couldn't sleep," he lied.

                "Is it about..." I gestured between our hands. "Silas, I promise you're safe to say whatever you want here. I won't judge you, or tell anyone else." Something told me he hadn't heard it enough in his life, so I repeated it again. "You're safe here."

                He folded his hands in his lap, pressing them against his legs. "It ain't right. You're not safe if you're...like us."

                I gently rested my hand on his shoulder. "No one will hurt you for it. I can't fight to save my life, but I'd give it a try to protect you if I ever had to."

                "I can defend myself," Silas said, and sounded fierce but tired.

                "You've been defending yourself your whole life. Maybe it's time to relax and be happy," I said, squeezing his shoulder. "You deserve to be happy, Silas."

                He clenched his hands into fists. "They woulda beat the shit out of me back there. I toughened up when I couldn't...girls just didn't..." He was frustrated, angry, scared. "Survival's gotta come before happiness, you know?"

                "You're here, now. Here with me, a gay man who's been open in this town for years and never been hurt for it. Here with Ray, your family who loves and wants to protect you. Here with your friends, who I may not know very well, but I do know that Kaito is a good person who will always stick by your side." I moved a little closer to him. "I know it's hard. I know you went through a lot that left you in survival mode. But I need you to believe me when I say you're safe now."

                I got up, going around to where he was sitting and pushing open the window next to him. I reached out, holding my hand out to him. Silas slowly took it and let me pull him to his feet.

                We both leaned out of the window and I put my hand back on his shoulder. The outside world was dark and quiet, stars glistening overhead and a sliver of moon peeking through in the sky.

                I let him look for a minute, the only noises being the rustling of the trees from the light breeze and the sound of a few cars off in the distance. Silas gripped the windowsill as he looked out at the still world.

                "Nothing is lurking out there. We could sit outside right now and no one would hurt us," I said. "This isn't the same place you grew up, or the people you grew up with. I know you can't just snap your fingers and abandon everything you adapted to for safety and survival growing up, but even just keeping these words in mind can be a big step towards adjusting here."

                I'd seen the way he jumped up in defense and fright whenever Ray woke him up. I'd seen him tense up when he thought there would be a fight. I saw the nervous flicker of his eyes when he met someone new, or when he was in a crowd of people.

                There were little things that gave away the uncertainty and insecurity he'd had to grow up with. It broke my heart, but I knew it would take time to help him feel comfortable and safe.

                "Let's sit out there, then," he said at last.

                I nodded and we left my room, walking quietly down the stairs. We went out the backdoor and sat out in the grass. It tickled my legs as I stretched them out.

                "I almost got arrested once," Silas said, breaking the silence between us. "I was ten, and I stole food from a gas station. When an employee grabbed me, I punched him and bit him until he let me go, but a cop grabbed me before I could get away. He put me in handcuffs and read me my rights and put me in the back of the police car and everything."

                He leaned back in the grass, running his hands over it and looking up at the sky. He was blushing lightly, the way he always did when he wasn't used to sharing this much personal information.

                "But when we got to the station, he just took me inside and sat me down. He held up my arms and said 'Your wrists are so small I didn't think the cuffs would fit'. I swore at him, tried to kick him. He told me this was my future if I didn't stop. Then he took the cuffs off. He told me whenever he could, he took kids in to show them how scary it was, but then let them go without charging them. He said we deserved a chance. He said if just one of us made it out because he gave us a chance, then he'd accomplished his goal." Silas looked down at his wrists. "Ray came the next year. He got me out. I never did see that cop again. Officer Riley, his name was."

                I put my hand on his shoulder, slowly tugging his shirt down to reveal the burn scar there. The one on his arm had faded away, but this one was glared back at me, whispering the truth of Silas's past.

                "You didn't just fall into a stove, did you?" I said quietly.

                "I raised my voice to my mom. My dad shoved me. He didn't mean to push me against the stove, but it happened and he said that'd teach me to speak to my own mom like that," Silas said, looking at the scar.

                I ran my finger over it, Silas shivering under my light touch. "That's why you go to the south side, isn't it?"

                "I get those kids. They're violence and drugs and cuss words. They're drinking and smoking and sex. They're everything I grew up around. I get them," Silas said. He put his hand over mine, my palm pressing against his scar. "I don't get people like you. You're an...an...en-something..."

                "Enigma?" I said.

                "Yea, that's the one. Ain't good with big words," he said. He looked back at the stars. "There were a couple kids back in school. Troy, we used to fight all the time. Ray finally went in and demanded that we had schedules that kept us apart. And this girl, Julia, she was a south sider that liked to trade words. Hit me a few times, too, but I try not to hit women. Struck her once, only 'cause she dug her nails into my arm. And this kid I had gym with, Pete, he always liked to pick a fight. Damn annoying kid hopped up on prescription drugs all the time, always trying to show me up in fitness tests and shit. But I grew up with that. I grew up with fights and shit talking and egos. I get that. I don't get boys who like to look at the stars and say how they feel."

                "You seem like a guy who enjoys learning," I said.

                "Never been very good at it. Always had to study hard to figure shit out," Silas said, trying to hide his half-smile.

                I turned his head so I could see it. "You always hide it when you smile. It's a good look for you."

                "What about you and that guy? Roan?" he said.

                "Roan and I were a sinking ship for a while. He was an important part of my life, but I can't be afraid to move on. I learned a lot from that relationship that I hope can make my next one work," I said.

                He suddenly looked scared, like it was dawning on him that this was real, this was happening. I tightened my grip on his shoulder, hoping to ground him a little.

                "Silas," I said, my voice steady, a safe light in the storm of emotions he was caught in. "You're safe. You're always going to be safe with me, I promise."

                "You're a damn fool. But I believe you, so I guess I am too," he said.

                He pulled my hand away from his shoulder, linking our fingers together. I knew how hard this was for him. I knew he must be going against everything screaming inside himself right now. He'd grown up prioritizing his safety over everything else, and this was something that would've put him in danger back where he was from.

                But he wasn't there anymore. He was sitting under the stars, our hands locked together, his body trembling lightly.

                "Can I share a secret with you?" he asked.

                "For a talkative guy, I'm a good secret keeper," I assured.

                He took my free hand and pressed it against his chest. I could feel his heart beating rapidly under my palm and looked into his eyes. This was an honesty he wasn't used to, and I was grateful to have it.

                "Can I share one with you?" I said, taking his hand and placing it over my chest, where my heart beat along just as wildly.

                "I never thought I'd...men weren't something I could..." He took a deep breath. "I never thought I'd be here like this. But I also never thought I'd find the stars beautiful."

                He leaned in, closing the distance between us. His lips against mine were the crash of a waterfall, my head as dizzying as the thought of all the stars above us. This kiss was the wind whipping against our faces as we drove, the freedom of our futures in front of us. It was safety and uncertainty, all bundled together and tangled like our fingers.

                He trembled, but I squeezed his shoulder, feeling his free hand sliding over mine. He had grown up around violence, incorporating it into himself to get by. But his hands were gentle as they held mine.

                "The world was different before I knew you," he mumbled against my lips.

                I put my hand on his neck, pulling him down for another kiss, wanting to keep expanding his world. I wanted to show him everything. I wanted him to hold my hand under the stars and kiss me under the waterfall. I wanted to hike to the top of a mountain with him and share a drink as we rested together with the view stretched out before us. I wanted to watch documentaries and just lie in bed together talking about them. I wanted to cook over-seasoned meals that were more about the laughter than the taste. I wanted to drive around aimlessly together with the windows down and the music blaring. I wanted to share secrets and show off our smiles.

                So we kissed with the stars as our only audience. We kept it slow and easy, a hesitant step forward for Silas.

                Time danced around us, but the world was dark enough to keep the passing time hidden away. We laid on our backs in the grass just holding hands and catching our breaths. We didn't speak; we just experienced.

                As sleep started to creep over me again, I sat up and tugged Silas until we were both on our feet. He kept the hold on my hand as we went back inside and up to my room.

                This time when we laid on the bed, Silas moved a little closer to me. I put my hand on the mattress between us and he put his hand over the top of it. We didn't speak, we just closed our eyes and drifted off to sleep, leaving our kisses in the night.

-------------------------------------

A.N.- I'm going to update today and tomorrow because the two chapters were originally one very long one (7,227 words to be exact...yikes) so I split it into 2. If it reads a little awkwardly, it's just because I couldn't determine the best place to split the two, so sorry about that! Hopefully you guys enjoy it!