It's happened again..

Why and how does this keep happening to me?

I'm led on the office floor, looking up at the white ceiling tiles, feeling the tough carpet under my fingertips whilst I let my body adjust to what has happened. Thinking feels thick and sluggish, whilst my limbs feel like lead.

The metallic taste in my mouth tells me that I've bitten my tongue or my cheek and that it has bled. The damp patches under my arms tells me that my body temperature has rocketed. Well, that and the fact someone has moved the desk fan onto the floor so that it is breezing over my face occassionally.

It's nice

It takes me a while to recognise Mia and Sophie. It's known that after a Grand Mal seizure, the big floor dropping seizure, that you get confused. Very confused.

"Elle?" Mia asks touching my arm gently.

"W-w... W-water." I struggle out.

"Stop." Mia says to Sophie who taps her phone. "How long?"

"15 minutes from the moment she stopped." Sophie replies, showing Mia her phone.

Mia moves, putting herself behind me and bringing a bottle of water to my mouth. I choke on the first bit before making myself swallow the cool liquid, I try to keep my head still, but all the energy has been taken out of me, and I have to let Mia support my head too.

"Sorry." I croak.

"Don't you apologise to me." Mia answers.

"Or me." Sophie says, putting her phone on the side and looking over me. "No visible injuries.. Do you hurt anywhere? I know it's a dumb question right now.."

I'm barely able to shake my head for a no and feel the tiredness coming over me again. My eyes feel almost impossible to keep open, causing them to roll.

"Mia, she's going again..."

"No she isn't." Mia says lifting my wrist and looking at my watch. "She's exhausted."

I can only just register Henry's voice when I fall back to sleep.

****

"There we go." Sophie says helping me onto the couch at home. I instantly move myself to lay down whilst she grabs a blanket and drapes it over me.

"At least I didn't pee myself." I say causing her to stop.

"So are we marking that as a positive?"

I nod against the soft pillow. "Small mercies."

Mia walks in, carrying my bag and a new bottle of water. She sets it down with painkillers and begins setting up my little camp.

"I can do it.."

"And so can I. So just hush and let me." Mia says pulling the coffee table over and putting my phone onto charge. Everything is within reach, except the toilet.

"Are you sure about being down here?" Sophie asks. "What if you need the bathroom?"

"Then I'll use the stairs.. Here is perfect. I'm too tired right now." I don't miss the look she gives Mia. "I don't need anyone to stay, either. You've both done enough for me... Drinks are on me. At some point."

"Don't worry about that now." Sophie says coming over and pushing my hair off my face. "Just rest up."

"I will."

"Henry is giving you a couple days off." Mia says before I can protest she adds "And don't try to refuse, this one was a little more powerful than the others. We both know that."

I grumble and sink further into the couch. When a yawn stifles me again, they both remind me to stay put, as well as let me know that they are a phone call away before leaving. It's not long before my phone is vibrating on the table, but instead of answering it, I ignore it and hope whoever it is, will leave a message.

******

The next day I spend in bed, trying to manage a migraine that doesn't seem to want to shift. My body feels sore, most likely from dropping to the floor, but other than that, the day passes.

I've checked my phone a few times, responding to Sophie and Mia's messages and ignoring the message from Zak.

He wants to speak, probably to apologise, but what was he going to apologise for? Billy was entitled to an opinion and from what I had seen online, he was only speaking the truth.

I am not Zak's type. At all.

And there was no way in hell, that I was going to change myself.

So I wasn't everything I saw online. I didn't have a thin stature, long flowing hair and nails, I didn't have a face of make up or an even tan. I didn't have a large house, toy pooch which fitted into a bag or a flashy car.

But what I was, was me. I am the short woman who has curves, and I'm damn happy with them too, even if I have an off day. I'm the woman who would rather have Doritos and dip than carrot sticks and houmous. I'm the woman with tan lines from hours working in the sun and not spending it led beside a pool. I'm the woman who pushes up her hair into a pony tail and dyes it with box dyes in the bathroom mirror. I'm the woman who manages with minimal make up because with the Vegas heat, I don't want to feel like my face is melting and be at risk of becoming an extra member of the rock band Kiss. I am the woman who has a reasonably priced car, which gets me from A to B. I am a woman who has epilepsy and still crawls to the fridge freezer to get Ben and Jerrys, convincing myself that I deserve a treat after a seizure.

I am me.

I jiggle when I wiggle , I got too much pop for a crop top and I'm too fat to be compact.

And if Zak wasn't into that, then his loss.

I'm pretty awesome..

For example, right now, I'm in the baggiest t-shirt I can find, a pair of sleep shorts and fuzzy socks. With my hair up in a messy bun because I haven't washed or brushed it, sat in bed binge-watching Supernatural because I want to see Dean wearing a pair of glasses. Surrounded by empty bottles of water and snacks that I have been downstairs to collect.

I'm just that bad of a bitch.

I had thought about playing dot to dot with the bruises on my leg, but I couldn't find a pen. So bingewatching it was.

"Elle?" Mia calls, having let herself into my home.

"Up here." I call back, not making an effort into getting out of bed. I wasn't being completely lazy, I was still tired and I was making notes of this along with my blood pressure to give to my doctor.

Mia appears in my bedroom doorway, with a pleased look on her face. "Good, resting. I like this." She says, coming in with a foodbag.

"Food."

"And you are hungry, even better." She says putting the fast food bag onto my bed and looking at my legs.

"Shit happens." I say turning my leg to show her the back.

"Do they hurt?"

"Nope. Blood pressure is there." I say, pointing to the book and pencil whilst grabbing the paper bag of goodness.

Mia kicks off her shoes and climbs onto the bed beside me, reading them through whilst I set out the food in front of me, glancing up at the TV occassionally not wanting to miss a thing.

"These are reasonably good, considering.."

"I thought that. I have zero energy." I tell her, sitting back against the pillows and unwrapping a burger.

"You can't expect any different. How is sleeping?"

"Um, yeah. Okay I guess. I keep waking up throughout the night but I am sleeping through the day so I can't grumble too much."

She nods. "Well it's nice to see you're comfortable up here."

I look at my bedside table, the only thing which is currently letting me down. "Ah, I'll tidy that later."

"Don't bother on my account. I'm just happy to see you resting up. I was so sure I was going to come in and find you working. Like last time.."

I give her a smile "No. I listened this time. I'm just resting and waiting for a date with spectacle Winchester."

"Speaking of date..." She says making me find the remote and pause the TV. "Zak rang the office." My frown must say it all because she adds. "I didn't say anything."

"How does he know where I work?"

"You must have told him?"

"No.." It's only when I look at my phone that I remember my business card in the back. "Unintentionally, yes."

"Well he wanted to talk to you. I said that you were busy with clients. Was that the right thing to say?"

"You could have told him I was trekking my way through the Amazon rainforest, I don't really care right now."

"No, I know, but..."

"But you didn't want to burn a bridge or say too much until you had spoken to me?" I guess making her smile.

"Well at least you're not confused. When you woke up and asked who I was, I got a little scared." She admits before stealing a fry and eating it.

Remembering I have food, I carry on eating. "Have you come around to tell me that I am allowed back to work?"

"Henry says one more day and then he will happily have you back."

I nod "I'm grateful for all of you, you know.."

"I know babe."

When my phone begins to ring, I put my food down and pick it up to check who it was, seeing Zak's name and guessing he had also taken my mobile number off the business card, I ignore the call and put my phone back down.

He has popped up in my mind countless amount of times, making me wonder if I should answer his messages and speak with him. But I had to ask myself what I hoped to gain out of doing that. He would tell me that what Billy had said wasn't true, but a quick online search would also tell me different..

"About what happened, at his house. It's not his fault."

"I know. But from what I seen online, I also know that his friend isn't lying. Those women are complete opposites of me. Which makes me wonder what he was up to. Was he leading me on? Playing a game?"

"I don't know."

"Me either, but I think I got a lucky escape. I got out before I got hurt." I tell myself and Mia.

Even if it stung like a bitch to have heard Billy. I know I didn't know him to care about what he thought, but he did open my eyes and raise a suspicion deep down inside me. What did Zak want with me!?

I was in a torn place maybe confused and annoyed. But I wasn't going to put myself in a situation to be degraded again.

No, I was better off leaving things as they were.

Forgetting it ever happened and getting on with my life and the world of online dating, eventually.

Because I deserved better, Dean Winchester in glasses better.

****************

Authors note.

And just because I can...

Enjoy 😈😈