Vegas was known for being hot. Hell it was the city that sprang out the desert, but for some reason, I was finding it hotter than usual today. Zak's house was relatively cool, so I was unsure on why I could feel the beads of sweat collecting on my skin or why I felt as if my cheeks were alight.

His friends were.... They were interested in what I was about, lets say that. I kinda got the idea that they were protective over each other, having to be as I guess being on TV meant that you met a lot of bad people on the way. However they are barking at the wrong tree if they think I'm in this... What ever this is for some kind of financial gain.

When I feel my heart palpitate, I begin to worry that something else is afoot and look down at my watch, knowing that it is tracking my heart rate.

"Cool watch." Zak says making my head whip up.

"Uh thanks." I reply moving it out of sight before he realises that it's not a standard watch.

Mia and Sophie had bought it for me last year, after I had a seizure at home with nobody around. It was only when I came into work with a black eye and split lip from hitting my head and biting my lip in the fall that she scoured the internet to find a device which would alert her when I needed help.

It was a nifty little thing, tracking my heart rate, location, sleep monitor, motion sensor for picking up any jerks from a seizure, right through to the gross side of sweat secretion, which is often what happens before a seizure.

The information is linked to an app on my phone as well as Mia's, so when the technology works out that I'm in danger, it will send a message to Mia with my location to let her know that I need help.

As expected, my phone rings and I cut the call before realising what a bad move that was. Without answering, she would expect the worst, so I politely excuse myself before heading into the garden with my phone to take the call.

"Are you okay?" Mia asks as soon as I answer.

"I am.. Bit sweaty and my heart feels a little funny." I tell her. I've realised that lying to Mia was pointless, especially when she can see all the information on her phone. Besides, I didn't know if this was the start of a seizure or a little anxiety.

"Okay, have you taken your tablet?"

"I have. This morning."

"Have you eaten and drank?"

"Yep." I tell her, propping myself up against Zak's house, hoping he doesn't come out looking for me.

"Do you need me to come and get you?"

"No, no." I tell her looking around the corner quickly. I can see Zak sat at the island with a thunderous look on his face, but I don't know what is being said in there. So I cut back to Mia who is asking me questions too.

"I've just met his.. Well his crew, it's like twenty questions. It's a bit overwhelming so maybe it's picking up some of my anxiety?" I guess.

"Could be... Take a few breaths on the phone with me now otherwise Henry said he is coming to get you, no matter what."

I do as I'm told, and laugh gently when I hear Mia tell Sophie that she doesn't have to do it too. I can imagine them now, all practising some deep breathing.

"Better?" Mia asks after a minute.

"A lot better. I think it's because I'm nervous of saying the wrong thing."

"Don't be nervous babe. Just be you.  You're amazing."

"Don't feel it right now." I sigh before pulling myself together. "Right, I'm going back in. Wish me luck."

"You don't need it, but good luck. Ring me as soon as you leave, I want to make sure you are okay before driving."

"Okay, see you soon. Bye."

"Bye babe."

I hang up the phone and take a couple deep breaths before heading around the corner. I can see Zak but he is too preoccupied with the guys to see me, which is how I am able to walk in on a conversation about me...

"You go for a type. You always have and you always will. She, is not it. So whether this is a pit break before you get some other woman in or some little game, I don't know. But she isn't it. From the second I saw her. I knew. So did the others." One of the guys, I think his name was Billy says.

I pause, a little beaten that he thinks this, especially when I've tried to be so nice to them. But I didn't expect the worse was yet to come.

"You don't go for a bigger woman Zak, hell I don't think you've dated anyone with a dress size in double figures. Do the decent thing and let her down gently, before you go too far." He adds, driving the small insecurity which had been growing throughout the day, right up in front of my face.

Of course he is too good for me.

Why was I so stupid into thinking I had a chance?

Look at him, fit, handsome and respectable. What would he want from me?

It's like a smack in the face, but this time it is one from reality and it stings just that little bit more. I've never felt bad about my body, but I have also never felt great about it either. Especially since I had been diagnosed. I felt like I had lost control of a part of my body, the main part and with the constant reviewing of medication, I had fluctuations in my weight.

Feeling the tension rising in the kitchen between everyone, I decide to break it, in order to get my things and go, because I didn't want or need to hear anymore..

"I'm sorry, I uh.. I have to get back." I lie, moving around the island and Zak to get my bag.

"Already?" He asks "But you haven't eaten-"

"I'm sorry, really. But I can't be late. Boss is a real stickler for time." I smile, before heading towards the door. I hate that I do it, considering what I had just heard, but politeness was burned into my bones. "It was really nice to meet you all." I smile to the crew.

Even if I don't mean it for one.

"I'll walk you out?" Zak suggests.

"There is no need. Really, eat your lunch." I urge, not entirely sure if I can keep the tears back. I don't know why they have began to build but they are there, and here I am having to juggle them and this situation until I can get out of here.

I wag my phone at him playfully "Right one this time... Take care Zak."

I scarper, hurrying through his home and exiting his house, relieved that he didn't follow but also a little hurt that he stayed with the guys. My emotions were conflicted, my head felt murky and I was beginning to worry about how I would be able to drive and if I should call Mia.

Sitting in my car, I push the keys into the ignition and wait, trying to decide if it is a good idea to head back by myself or if Zak might see me off.

Neither happens.

But Bacon appears from the front door and heads over, shaggy beard moving with his body as he approaches. I unwind my window as he leans in looking at me. "Are you okay?"

I bite my lip on the inside and nod before letting it go. "Yep. Absolutely. I uh.. I was just taking a breather, it's hot out here right?" I ask.

"That's not what I meant.."

I smile at him anyway, hoping he can't see the tears in my eyes. I sense my heart palpitate again and I get a surge of anger, wanting my body to behave and not give me moments like this. To not frighten me into thinking I'm going to lose consciousness or fit.

"It's fine.. I'm fine. Everyone is entitled to an opinion." I tell him.

"Even if it's a dickish opinion that nobody agrees with?" He asks.

I stay quiet.

"Look, I know you don't know any of us, but Billy, he isn't usually like this. He is a good guy, believe me. I'm not making up excuses but the last investigation has affected them. Has Zak told you about his hangovers?"

I nod "From the interactions and energy."

Bacon nods too. "Yeah, well Billy can't seem to shake his off, I think there is more going on behind the scenes. But it's not something he is willing to admit too."

"Or maybe he is just saying what everyone is thinking?" I guess.

"Well I don't think it. I know Aaron doesn't either."

"And Zak?" I ask. "Was Billy right? Does he have a type?"

It's when Bacon stays quiet that I know I'm right, that Billy flaring up like that was him being honest. Energy or no energy. It's like the saying a drunken mans words is a sober mans heart.

"I have to go." I tell him, starting up the car and putting it into reverse.

"Elle, don't judge Zak by what you see. It's what is on the inside that counts." He says before standing back and letting me reverse.

That stays in my mind all afternoon, even when I get back to the office and head straight back to my desk instead taking the rest of my lunch. I just want to shut the world off and focus on something I can do. Which is manage peoples demands and diaries. I know what they want and how to get it. It's straightforward, simple with no nasty spikes in the road.

"Hey, you're back." Mia says coming over instantly and grabbing Sophie's chair. "What happened?"

"I can't talk right now. I'm just trying to book this clients manicure-"

"Screw her manicure." Mia bites getting into my space and looking at my eyes intensely. "Your pupils are larger than normal."

"I'm fine."

"Then why are you here?"

"Can we just forget about it? I'd rather not beat myself over the head with a rock."

"Babe.."

Pushing the keyboard and mouse away, I sigh "It is something and nothing."

"What is?" Sophie asks coming in. Mia waves her in quick and waits for me to continue.

"His friends didn't like me."

"Well you're not trying to date his friends, are you?"

"No.. But he works with them too, they're a large part of his life." I say before turning to watch their expressions.

I have to, because I know they would have already done it, without me being here.

"Have you seen any of Zak's ex girlfriends?"

I see the panic look flash in Sophie's eyes, where as Mia's poker face is a little harder to spot. But she eventually gives up the game when she says "No." before looking at Sophie to make sure she says the same.

Going back to the computer, I grab the keyboard "Me either, so let's take a look."

"How about we all go finish our lunch?"Mia suggests as I bring up the search engine and begin typing.

"Sure you two go ahead. I'm just gonna check this."

"Elle. Stop." Sophie says from behind me.

"Stop what? I'm just curious. His friends said I'm not his type so I want to know what is."

"They said that?!" Mia exclaims.

When the images begin to load, I feel the resentment of my own body grow larger...

This was a bad idea.

"Elle..." Sophie says quietly behind me as I look further down the page.

Not his type... I am not his type.

I'm the completely opposite on almost everything. Which begs the question, what game was he playing?

"Well, guess they were telling the truth huh?" I ask. "I need a drink." I tell them, pushing my chair back and heading towards the water dispenser.

I barely hear what Mia has to say, as my legs go weak and the lights go out.