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32b: First sunlight

His daughter weighed almost nothing in his arms. But yet she meant everything. For the first time in his life, Gendry had a family.

As he held her it was like a hole inside of him was suddenly filled. A hole that should have been filled by his own parents. A constant sense of longing for somewhere to belong. Now he knew where he belonged. He belonged with his daughter.

Gendry Baratheon never had parents, but he was one himself now. He couldn't erase his own childhood memories of loneliness and despair, but he could make sure his daughter's memories were of happiness and warmth.

Joreen moved slightly in her father's hold and managed to twist one arm out of the blanket that was swaddled around her. He touched the little hand and its even smaller fingers. His hands were rough and calloused and hers were delicate and smooth. It was a wonder that he had somehow created that.

His wife leaned against his shoulder and watched them. Meera seemed tired and fragile. The birth had been hard on her.

He did not want to leave her like this.

"Are you all right?" he asked and leaned down to kiss her hair.

"I'm fine now that she's here," his wife replied and reached her hand down towards Joreen's little hand. She stroked it and smiled at the little girl.

Gendry looked over at Marya to confirm whether his wife was fine or not. "Don't worry, Lord Baratheon," she said. "I'll make sure she's taken care of. She bled quite a lot but it has stopped now. She just needs to rest. Birth takes its toll on women and it takes some time to bounce back."

"You promise?" he asked. "I'll... have to leave soon. I need to know that she's fine."

"I promise, Lord Baratheon. You don't need to worry about your wife or daughter. Just make sure you come back."

Gendry sighed and nodded. He adjusted the little girl in his grip so he could put one arm around his wife.

There was nothing else he could do. All he could do was to hold his wife and his daughter. His family.

He held them while the sun rose above the calming sea and for the first time warmed his daughter's skin. The little girl blinked as the sunrays stung her eyes.

No other morning had there been a Joreen Baratheon in this kingdom. But there was now. And during her lifetime she would come to change that kingdom.

He held them as his daughter fell asleep in his arms and as his wife dozed off against his shoulder. Both so sweet and peaceful. If only he could have stayed in that moment forever.

He held them as Davos entered the room and asked to speak to him. Gendry knew what he wanted.

"Lord Baratheon... Gendry," Davos said. "I know now isn't the time... but the armies are ready."

"Just give me one more moment," Gendry replied. "I'll be there. I know what I have to do."

"Of course," Davos said and peaked over towards the little girl. "She's so much smaller than I remember my boys being. How are you feeling about being a father so far?"

"Happy. Overwhelmed. Scared out of my mind."

"Yeah, that sounds about right..."

Gendry looked down at the little girl in his arms. There was nothing more important than her in this world now. And there was nothing he rather wanted to do than to protect her.

At that moment he pitied his own father. Robert Baratheon had never truly got to feel what it was like to be a father. He had missed out on just as much as his son.

"You know I regret a lot of things I've done in my life, but I've never regretted saving you," Davos said with a smile. "It turned out to be one of the best things I've ever done because look at you now. Lord Paramount of the Stormlands, husband, father."

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you," Gendry replied. "And my daughter wouldn't be here. I'm thankful to you that we are."

Davos nodded and turned around to walk out of the room. "Whenever you're ready to leave," he said. "Your troops are waiting for you in the courtyard."

"I'll be there in a moment," Gendry replied. "But can you tell Lord Reed to come in first?"

Howland walked in shortly after Davos exited the room. He looked like he hadn't slept all night either. He looked towards the little girl in Gendry's arms with fascination but then his gaze fell on his daughter. Gendry could tell he had been very worried for her.

Gendry squeezed his wife's hand lightly to wake her up. "Your father is here," he whispered.

Meera tiredly looked up at her father and smiled. Howland walked around the bed and sat down next to her. He patted her hair lightly. "Are you good?" he asked with a concerned looked.

"I'm fine," she said. "I just need to sleep. Don't worry, father."

"You know I will always worry. That's what parents do. You'll figure that out soon."

Howland once again peeked over at the little girl. "She looks a lot like you did," he said to Meera.

Gendry knew it was time. To do the thing he wanted to do the least in the world right now. But he had to do it.

He took one more look at his little daughter in his arms. Then he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Perhaps a last kiss.

"Will you take her?" he asked Howland, even though his voice could barely say the words.

Howland looked up and nodded, he understood what Gendry meant. "Of course," he said.

Carefully, without waking the child, he transferred Joreen over to her grandfather's arms. It was clear that Howland had held a child before because he did so much more confidently than Gendry. He rocked his leg ever so slightly to soothe the little girl.

"I need to go," Gendry said to his wife. "You know I don't want to. But I have to for you and our daughter."

"I know," she replied. "I know you're doing it for us."

Their lips met in a kiss. Softly savoring every moment of it.

"I will be back," he said as their lips parted. "I promise."

"I'll be waiting," Meera replied.

He refused to say goodbye. Because this was not the end of anything.

"I'll take care of them until you return," Howland said with a nod. Gendry trusted him to do so. He knew Howland cared about Meera and Joreen as much as he did.

"Thank you," Gendry replied and reluctantly got up from the bed.

As the tears started streaming he leaned down once more and kissed his wife. One final kiss. Staying just a little bit longer.

Then he turned around and left before he could change his mind. Despite his whole body telling him to stay. Despite the hole inside of him opening up once again as he walked away from his daughter, turning into a bleeding wound.

After exiting the room he leaned against a wall and cried. He kicked the wall with his foot in frustration. All he wanted to do was go back into that room. But he knew he couldn't. Because then he would never be able to leave.

Instead, he had to pull himself together and go down the stairs to lead his armies into battle. He needed to be Lord Baratheon. Because that was the path he had chosen to walk.

But he couldn't bring himself to take those last steps away from his family just yet.

As he stood against the wall, trying to muster the strength he needed to leave, Gendry felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around.

It was Davos. Of course. Always there when Gendry needed him.

Soon he felt a fatherly embrace envelop him. "It's all right, son," Davos said. "I know this isn't easy. But you're a father now and you need to do what you have to do to protect your child. Even if what you have to do is leaving her."

Gendry nodded and dried his tears. He knew Davos was right. So he inhaled, freed himself from the embrace, and cleared his voice. "Let's go," he said, surprised he was able to say the words.

Davos handed Gendry his warhammer. He grabbed the cold hard steel of the handle with a hand that had just moments ago held the rosy soft skin of his newborn daughter.

It was time for war.

A war for the Stormlands. A war for House Baratheon. A war for his daughter.

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