18: For my brother
Steffon sat perched in one of the oak trees in the courtyard of Storm's End. In his hand, he held his bow and arrow. He clasped them hard to his chest so they wouldn't disappear like his brother who had given them to him. They had been Dev's when he was Steffon's age and when he outgrew them he gave them to his youngest brother.
Below him was hustle and bustle of everyday life in the castle. Blacksmiths worked on weapons, butchers prepared meat, soldiers practiced fighting. And around it, all brown chickens and spotted pigs roamed freely.
Watching the daily life in the castle was Steffon's main source of entertainment these days. There were no other children his age at the castle to play with and none of his other playmates were available either.
Dev often used to play with Steffon, because despite being nine years older Dev was still very amused with childish games.
Sometimes, Stannis played with him as well, but he was currently employed by Lord Baratheon to help him read the books necessary to come up with a plan to defend the castle if necessary. Not even Stannis' friend Bastian was available to play with since he had been stationed to guard the gate of the castle as part of the efforts to strengthen its defenses.
So there was no one for Steffon to play with and nothing for him to do.
"Can I join you?" a voice suddenly asked below him.
He looked down and saw Lady Baratheon standing at the foot of the tree.
Steffon nodded but wondered to himself how she would get there. Ladies didn't usually climb trees. Although this lady didn't look like most ladies in her pants and tunic.
"If you can get up here, Lady Baratheon," he replied.
It turned out she could. She grabbed a branch with her arms and then heaved her legs up around it to pull herself up. It took her only an instant.
"Of course I can," Meera said as she sat down next to Steffon. "I've climbed plenty of trees. And don't call me Lady Baratheon. Call me Meera."
"Meera..." he said a bit hesitantly since calling a lady by her first name didn't seem proper. It seemed like something his mother might discipline him for.
"Do you miss your brother?" she asked and put her hand on Steffon's shoulder.
He nodded slowly while twisting his hand around the handle of the bow. "Dev was supposed to teach me how to shoot," he said.
"You want me to teach you?"
Steffon looked up at Meera in surprise. This didn't seem like something ladies should do. Although ladies also shouldn't climb trees.
"If you want to," he said. "Would your husband let you?"
Meera chuckled slightly. "I do want to," she said. "And I don't have to ask my husband for permission. He doesn't own me and I don't own him, that's not how our marriage works."
"You know how to shoot?" Steffon asked.
"I do, my father started teaching me when I was very young. And later I taught my brother when he was about your age. Jojen was never very good at it though."
"You have a brother?"
"I had a brother... he's gone now."
"Just like Dev."
"Dev's not dead, you can still see him again one day. I will never see my brother."
"What happened to your brother?"
"He... fell in battle," Meera said and jumped down from the tree. It seemed like she didn't want to talk more about her brother. "Come on. I'll go get my bow and arrow and then we can practice out in the woods right outside the walls."
***
The forest was small but teemed with life. Thick oaks and high birch trees shaded Steffon and Meera's path. Purple blossoms peaked out from under the underbrush. Ruffles and growls from critters who dwelled in the bushes could be heard, but they weren't seen. The forest floor was padded with bright green moss and blueberry bushes. The berries were round as marbles and almost black in color. Steffon picked a berry and tried it. The taste was sweet and tangy as the berry burst in his mouth.
Eventually, they came to a clearing, and that's where they took out their bows. Meera showed Steffon how to stand and how to hold the bow. Then she set up some crossed branches as targets and stood next to him as he tried to shoot. It didn't go too well at first but eventually, he got the hang of it. Meera was a patient and kind teacher.
Steffon was thrilled to have someone to play with again and Meera seemed to enjoy the distraction it gave her. Many serious discussions had taken place at the castle since they arrived back. No one had told Steffon what it was all about but he understood there to be some kind of threat against the castle and against Lord and Lady Baratheon. He had also heard his parents whisper about Lady Baratheon being with child but surely that couldn't be true. Ladies who were with child didn't run around in the woods alone or climbed trees.
Of course, he still missed his brother. But now he had someone to go on adventures with at least. And when Dev came back, because he had to come back, Steffon would be able to show him that he already knew how to shoot a bow and arrow. He was sure that Dev would be very proud of him.
***
It was nighttime at Storm's End. The wind rustled against the windows and darkness inhabited every nook and cranny of the castle. After having spent the whole day in the Great Hall, explaining maps and interpreting books to Lord Baratheon, Stannis was tired. But he was glad he had lots of work to do as it took his mind off his brother and how much he missed him.
As he approached the door to his room Stannis heard a sound. It came from the room next to his. Devan's room.
He knew who it was. And he knew he had to go in there.
Stannis opened the door slowly. And there was Brynda. She sat on the bed crying while cradling one of the pillows.
The room was just as messy as Devan left it. The bed was unmade. Clothes laid in piles on the floor. A strange odor emanated from under the bed. Dev had probably stashed away food there.
Brynda acknowledged Stannis' presence without a word. He sat down next to her and put his arm gently around her.
"I miss him too," he said.
Brynda nodded, face still covered in the pillow. She picked some hairs off it and cradled them in her hand. They were from Devan's messy mop of a head.
"What will you do now?" he asked. "About the child I mean."
The question had to be asked sooner or later. For now, Stannis was the only one who knew, but it would be hard to hide it much longer.
"I don't know," she said. "I'll probably start showing soon, and my family will find out. They will marry me off quickly. Probably to a distant cousin."
"Then my family would never see that child," Stannis replied. "My parents would never meet their grandchild."
"No. You wouldn't. The child wouldn't be a Seaworth."
"It should be though."
"Well, Dev can't marry me now. Even if he comes back it would be too late."
Then it dawned on Stannis. The solution. How to solve this for all of them.
"No," he said. "But I can. I can marry you, Brynda."
Brynda looked at Stannis. Confused and astounded. Like the idea was preposterous.
"You're just a child, Stan," she said.
"I'm sixteen years old," he replied.
"Like I said. A child."
"Regardless of whether I'm a child or not I'm my father's heir. Your family would accept my marriage proposal. I can make that child a Seaworth."
"As a lord, you need to have your own children."
"You know I'm not... interested in women. I don't even know if I would be able to sire children. If you marry me that would solve that problem. I would have an heir. And the child would look enough like me for no one to question its parentage."
"What if Dev comes back?"
"Then we'll sort it out somehow. I'm sure he would prefer for me to raise his child instead of a stranger. For that child to have his last name."
Brynda nodded. It made sense. All of it. It was the best solution in their current situation.
Her hand touched his gently. He looked up at her. Face still red from tears and her blonde hair tangled. But there was clarity in her eyes.
"I will marry you, Stannis Seaworth," she said. "For Devan's sake. For our child's sake."
He wrapped his hand around hers. It felt a bit odd holding a woman's hand. It was so soft and warm. Not at all like Bastian's hand.
"For my brother's sake," he said.
Her hand squeezed his back and they looked at each other. They knew this was right. It wasn't what they wanted to do, but it was what they had to do. It was the best solution to a bad situation.
***
The wedding was held a few weeks later in the Great Hall.
Brynda didn't cry as she walked down the aisle, accompanied by her uncle Lord Selwyn of Tarth. She never cried. In fact, she didn't feel anything. Neither sadness nor joy. She was there, but she also wasn't.
Her dress was in light sapphire, just like the sea below the islands from which she hailed. It had wide sleeves and buttons all the way up the high collar. Around the edge of the sleeves and the collar, tiny blue gemstones sparkled in a pattern that looked like waves on the ocean.
Around her, everything was blue like the ocean. In shades from light sapphire as a sandy beach to dark blue as a stormy night. Flowers, table cloths, curtains. The tables were decorated with seashells and driftwood. Suitable for a wedding between two seafaring houses. The work of Marya Seaworth she suspected.
It was the wedding she had dreamt of. Everything was as it should. Except that Devan wasn't there. And that was the only thing that mattered.
Of course, there were worse men to marry than the one who waited for her at the end of the hall. Stannis was kind, smart, and honorable. He would be a good father for her child. But he wasn't his brother. He wasn't Dev.
When they reached the end of the hall her uncle left her standing opposite her new husband. Stannis stood a step above her to hide the fact that he was shorter than his bride. His hair was slicked down and proper, not messy like Dev's. And his jacket was buttoned in a meticulous fashion.
Behind Stannis stood his parents and younger brother. They hadn't told them the reason for the marriage but she suspected Marya and Davos knew. They knew that this marriage wasn't entered out of love for each other but for their shared love towards Devan.
At Stannis' side stood Bastian, his lover and friend. Brynda saw the look the boys gave each other. A look of love. It was the same way Dev used to look at her. She didn't intend to get in the way of their love. Perhaps it would even be easier for them to love each other in the shadow of a marriage.
As the ceremony went on Brynda said all the words she needed to say. Every promise and every vow. But she didn't make them to Stannis, she made them to Devan.
She promised him loyalty and fidelity. Because by marrying his brother she forever became part of his family. This was for them. So that her child would be theirs as well.
She swore to wait for him for as long as it took. He would be back one day. She knew that. And when he returned she and their child would be there for him.
With a kiss, she finalized her marriage. A kiss not meant for the fumbling teenage boy in front of her, who had probably never kissed a woman before, but for his charming older brother.
She knew that and Stannis knew that. And that's why this would work.
Hand in hand they walked out of the hall. United in marriage and in their resolve to do what they needed for Devan. So that he could return one day and reclaim what was his.
***
It was cold. So damn cold. Devan and the other recruits had traveled for weeks to get to Castle Black. Now they stood in the courtyard and awaited the commander.
Scattered piles of snow laid on the ground. The air was cold enough that their breaths turned into clouds. Everything was dark and dull. And so fucking cold. The cold really had to be emphasized.
Then he arrived. Commander Snow. He wasn't very tall. But he still had a commanding presence in his huge fur coat. His long curly hair was pulled up in the back and he had a beard. Perhaps to look older than his years.
"Welcome to Castle Black," he said. "This is where they send you. Those that are not wanted anymore by the kingdom. Those that they want to punish but not kill. This is our kingdom, and this is where I rule."
He walked in front of them as he talked and eyed every recruit. Perhaps he measured their potential.
"Now tell me your names," Jon continued.
They said their names one by one.
"Devan Seaworth," Devan said when it was his turn, looking straight ahead as he spoke.
Jon looked back at him, startled. As if memories he had tried to suppress suddenly flooded back.
"Are you Davos' son?" he asked.
Devan nodded. Realizing that perhaps his father's name meant something here.
"Go to my study once we're done here," Jon said. "I need to talk to you."
***
A warm cup of soup was put in front of him as Devan entered the study. He devoured it almost instantly. He hadn't had any proper food since before he was arrested.
"This is for you," Jon said and handed Devan a letter, it had his father's clumsy handwriting on it. "A raven arrived with it a few days ago. They fly faster than people travel."
Devan took it and looked at it. A message from the home and family he might never see again.
"I usually burn the letters," Jon continued. "Recruits are not allowed to receive letters. But I knew your father and he asked me to do this one thing for him. I couldn't refuse him. So I will allow you to read your letter, Devan Seaworth. But there will be no more letters after this. Because once you arrive here you are gone from the kingdom."
Devan nodded and opened the letter carefully.
"But not forever," he mumbled. Jon seemingly ignored his remark, perhaps certain that this conviction would be knocked out of him eventually. Jon was wrong.
"I will need to burn it after you've read it," Jon said. "The other men can't know you received it. So read it carefully."
Devan did. He read the letter as carefully as he could. And he read it again.
Then he cried.
Because the letter told him that he was to become a father. Brynda carried his child.
But he would not get to raise that child. Instead, his brother would. Forced to take on the responsibility that should have been his.
He didn't blame Stannis. He was grateful for his sacrifice.
He blamed himself. He should have been more careful, more responsible, more mature.
But instead, he had become his own father. The one thing he had never wanted to be. A man absent from his children. By force or circumstance didn't matter. He still wasn't there. Just like Davos hadn't been.
But Davos had come back. And one day Devan would too. He promised himself that. He promised his child that.
One day he would hold that child in his arms.
Author's Note: I'm very curious about people's reactions to this... Because this was always supposed to happen, Stannis marries Brynda, and somehow I've managed not to spoil it to anyone. So how do you feel about it?
And there will be more from Castle Black and what is going on up there later on. This was just a bit of a sneak peek from Dev's arrival there. Perhaps he will meet Thormund so they can bond over their mutual love for women from Tarth!
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