Where were we? Oh, right!

I was about to pounce on them when Sam screeched. Then Pick-C Screeched. Then Anti-Pick-C Laughed (I still don't get her). And then the Walrus wearing a Tuxedo with flying abilities swooped down and hit me over the head.

So, then everyone lived happily ever after- what? You want an explanation? How there was a Walrus? How it could fly? How was Pick-C So terribly wrong about how animals look and act, yet here, right in front of them, there, is something only Pick-C, Queen of all the crazy faeries and squirrels, could have possibly made up?

Here, I guess, are my reasons.

Explanation. It will be hard, because I had really no idea what happened. Except, that I was hit really hard....so I was seeing things. Like a UFO, for instance. It was scolding me. Flashback......

"What did I tell you, Steve? It was them! They did it. I cannot be controlled sometimes. You should really watch your back, Kevin." I stared at the UFO. It stared back.
"Really, Derek, why are you staring at me? Do I have a balloon stuck to me again?"
If it was possible, the UFO turned it's non-existing head to see if it had any party appliances stuck to it. "I don't see any confetti stuck to me, Freddy. So why are you catching bugs with your mouth?" I caught a couple more bugs.
"You're awfully quiet today, aren't you, Roger?" The UFO chuckled. "Oh, I see you are starting to come around now. I might disappear, but remember George, I will always be with you at the weirdest of moments. By golly, Jeff! I will! If my name isn't Useless Flying Object! Well....then I guess I wouldn't be there. But my name is  unflammable faceless Oracle!" He winked an unwinkable wink at me. "Under Forgetful Ocelots is out!" Then he disappeared in a flash of Walrus Fat.

Yeah. So, to sum things up (again), I thought my name was SteveKevinDerekFreddyRogerGeorgeJeff. I also believed for a long time that the UFO had hit me in the back of the head.

So...to answer your Walrus related questions....

I guess Pick-C was right. At least about some things. Like Walrus' wearing tuxedos that fly with their unicornistick powers.
It was a normal day for Waldo The Mystical Flying Walrus (though most people just call him Wally).
He was going to work, or more like flying to work, when he saw someone (me) attacking the beautiful Pick-C queen, who had given Wally a big fat bonus because she liked the sound of the language he spoke (Lebanese). So, he was rather fond of Pick-C, and thought she was in a pickle. He doesn't like pickles. So Waldo The Mystical Flying Walrus dive bombed me. Ouch. Or as the French people call it: Ouchē.

There. Questions answered.

I guess I lied about the "happily ever after" thing....it wasn't that easy for them. Okay, it was pretty easy. I was a bit squished by a very annoyed Walrus who spoke Lebanese.
He barked a couple things (which probably meant, "oh my gosh, I'm going to be late for work now, thank you very much!") then got up, and flew away. 

I sighed. I could see Pick-C, Anti-Pick-C and Sammy in the distance.

"I TOLD YOU SALLY! I TOLD YOU I WAS TELLING THE TRUTH. BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN!" Pick-C told Sam.
"It's Sam-"
"SESAME, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND, I AM THE TRUTH TELLER!"
"It's Sam-"
"SARSAPARILLA, SOMETIMES, I FEEL LIKE A MOTHER NEXT TO YOU. YOU JUST DON'T LISTEN. I NEED TO GIVE YOU LECTURES ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO COMMON SENSE."
"It's Sam-"
"AND WHEN YOU INTERRUPT ME LIKE WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW, SALAD,"
"What the-"
"I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IGNORING ME. DON'T CLIMB THE HILL, THERE'S IGUANAS! I TOLD YOU, SARAH, BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN. AND WHAT DID YOU FIND?"
"Chinchillas."
"EXACTLY! I AM JUST HELPING YOU FOR THE GREATER GOOD!" Pick-C patted Sammy on the head. "MAYBE ONE DAY YOU'LL BE FAMOUS FOR BEING LEVEL HEADED, SINGAPORE-"
"That's a place....not a name."
"BUT RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE JUST MY INCOMPETENT ADVISER." Pick-C rattled on. "WALLY IS MY FRIEND. HE SHOULD BE YOURS, TOO. MIGHT BE GOOD FOR YOU, SURPLUS."
"Okay, you are bound to start running out of 's' names soon."
"SSSSSILLY SSSEPTIMUS, I NEVER RUN OUT OF NAMESSSS FOR YOU!" Pick-C gloriously spattled. "SO, LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU, SALUTATIONS, I AM RIGHT, AND YOU-"
"Let me guess, you're right, and I'm wrong."
"NONONONONONO, SANCTUARY! I'M RIGHT, AND YOU ARE WRONG IN THE BRAIN!" She beamed.
"What even...."
"NOW, SANS-"
"Closest you've got to my name all day."
"I KNOW YOU THINK I'M BEING ANNOYING OR UNJUST, BUT I AM ALWAYS JUST AND NOYING. MAKE SENSE?"
"Actually no-"
"OF COURSE IT MAKES SENSE, SET! EVERYTHING I SAY MAKES SENSE."
"Not really-"
"KEEP YOUR DIRTY MOUTH SHUT, STEAKUS, OR I WILL HAVE TO WASH IT WITH SOAP."
"Steakus? Really?"
"SO YOU WANT TO PLAY IT THE HARD WAY, SQUEAKY? I'M GOOD AT PLAYING THE HARD WAY, SETH."
"So...are you being serious here?"
"SADIE, I AM ALWAYS SERIOUS."

Will Pick-C Queen do it the hard way? Will Sammy survive? Will he be the same? Find out next time on: THE SQUIRREL QUEEN!