Levi brought the journal out from the drawer, pushing away the annoying paperwork in the process. He often wondered how he ended up with so much paperwork in the first place, it's not like he was the commander of the whole entire Regiment, yet it was like he had more than Erwin! He looked at it, studying the stars closely. Upon closer inspection, he saw that there were letters within the stars. They were the letters K-Y-L-E-G. The G at the end most likely stood for Gordon.

Levi opened up the cover to look inside. Notes were scrawled inside in sloppy handwriting that looked like a mixture of cursive and print. It was a little bit hard to read, but Levi could manage. He began reading.

It seems as if I really can't talk to anyone about what I think. I mean, I don't really want people to know what I think anyways. It would ruin the reputation I've spent some time building up. People think I'm some sort of cold-hearted bastard that doesn't care about anyone. Well, that's not entirely true. I care about some people, just not everyone I see. The people that really matter are the one I see everyday, and sorry, but if I don't talk to you on a regular basis then I'm probably going to act like a jerk to you.

How to say this... I guess I'll just say it plain and simple. I've joined the Scout Regiment. Though a dangerous career path, it's fulfilling to say the least. I see people's lives ruined by the titans, and I think that's unfair. When you become a soldier, you're there to protect the civilians who can't fight for themselves. There are some people who join the Military Police that's made almost entirely out of slackers. I say almost because I have a friend who chose to join so that they could possibly fix it. She'll have to stay there for a while so that she can move up in the ranks, but she's dead set on changing them. I don't see why. It's not like they're extremely important. The citizens know that if they started acting up in these confined walls, then we'll destroy each other. No one benefits from that.

I'm not looking forward to meeting my squad. I don't work well with others. Whenever I'm working, the other people just get in my way and become people I have to protect. It's technically their fault for not being good, but I guess I shouldn't hold that against them. Everybody has to start from somewhere, right? I guess I was just naturally born good.

Now, you might be thinking I have kind of a big ego, but let me tell you that you don't know what you're talking about. It's not that I hold myself up higher than the others just, because of my own ignorance, but because it's the truth.

What is he talking about? Levi thought. He didn't think that you should hold yourself above others any time, even if it was the truth you shouldn't automatically think you're better than them just because they're not as good with their skills. You should judge them by their actions and character.

I hope I don't die on the expeditions, and I hope that no one I know dies either. I hope the people in my squad aren't complete assholes, nor do I wish them to be completely happy and smily and overly-optimistic. I don't know, I just want them to be. Does that make sense? It doesn't matter, good bye.

On to the next entry.

I met my squad today. I got some overly-optimistic, too-nice-for-their-own-good people. There's five of us: 3 guys and 2 girls. There's Cameron and another girl that I think is called Jessica (she would barely speak to anyone), then for the guys there's me, Blake, and Kido. I saw some filth on Kido's hands and he actually tried to give me a handshake. I, out of habit, immediately told him not to touch me with his filthy hands. It doesn't seem all that unreasonable to me. You should always make sure you're clean no matter what, otherwise it just gets nasty.

I didn't really speak to anyone, I just let them do their own thing. They looked like a pretty good team that could work together, except I don't want to work with them. Even though I never talked to any of them outright, I did eavesdrop on a couple of their conversations to get their overall character. Blake seems like a completely normal, extremely nice, and extremely happy guy. He wasn't so happy that it was annoying, which was good. Jessica is so shy that it's a burden. Even if I wanted to talk to her, it looks as if she doesn't like talking to boys, because she wouldn't even talk to Blake. She only spoke to Cameron. Cameron's an interesting one. She seems to think that dying in battle outside the walls is honorable, glorious, and fulfilling. She really does pledge herself to the state and looks as if she's got real passion for her line of work. Kido isn't too bad, I mean besides from the not washing his hands thing. He seems nice, and I can tell that he's especially fond of Cameron. If I remember correctly, I think they were close friends back in training. None of them really know me, and they don't have to.

See you later, good bye.

Levi decided that he'd just cram all of the paperwork in at the end of the day at midnight or something so that he could have it done for the meeting tomorrow morning. The next entry read:

I had to do training exercises with my squad today. All of the training was focusing on building cooperation and trust. I may not be too fond of working with others, but I realized that maybe they would be handy to have around if I ever get into a really bad situation. I guess I didn't make a very good impression yesterday, because none of them seemed to trust me. I felt kind of disappointed actually, for some reason. I don't really know why I cared.

I asked anyone if they were do that trust fall thing with me. No one volunteered so I put Jessica in the spotlight, not feeling remotely bad about putting her in that awkward situation. She started blushing for some reason and started stuttering when she said that she couldn't do it. I insisted and when she did it, I caught her and it was all okay. I made the others try and we all did it to each other. I feel like I built some sort of connection with them all, even if it's faint. Now I know that if I stand facing away from them, that they'll catch me. You know why? Not just because of the thing we did in the afternoon, but we've taken to randomly falling and the other person having to catch us. It does keep us on our toes I suppose. I almost dropped Blake a couple of times though, which would've been bad, especially if it was Blake who was the mediator between all of us.

I don't have anything else to put in here for today so, I hope I wake up. Good bye.

Levi skipped ahead some days, maybe even a couple of months:

We found out the next expedition date. Sometimes, I feel as if we can all go out and come back alive, but at the same time, I think that it's impossible for all of us to go out and not have one of us hurt. I don't wanna be responsible for any of their deaths. I've always understood that there's the possibility, but I try not to think about it. I don't want anyone to die. Especially Blake. Wait, why'd I write that? Never mind, I'm writing in ink and I guess that's staying there.

I guess... I guess I like Blake. He's nice and handsome and all.

Woah, Levi thought. That escalated quickly. Anyways, back to the story.

The thing is, I'm pretty sure he doesn't ride that way and he looks as if he has his eyes set on Jessica. I tried acting a bit closer to her, to see how she is, and it turns out that she's really nice. Nice and beautiful, though a bit of a coward sometimes. I guess I just want to have Blake happy and if seeing Jessica happy makes him happy then I'll do that.

We have to learn the new formation that Erwin has made. This'll be the first time that someone gets to test it out. I hope none of us gets killed. I think that's enough depressing thoughts for one day.

Levi was a tad bit sad, because he knew that Blake died on the expedition. He felt really connected to this guy even though he'd never met him and he was dead. It was easy to think of him as a fictional character. Levi was going through the fourth stage of being in a fandom, though he didn't know that nor did he know what it was called. Poor Levi, there isn't any other fanboys to comfort him. He skipped ahead to after the expedition.

I can't believe this. He's gone. Blake's actually gone. The nice guy that I used to say hi to every morning, who no one ever had an argument with, who was so brave and protected everyone. That guy is gone, and I'll never get to see him, or tell him how I feel, or anything. I actually cried. I hadn't even known him for a year, and he was so young. I need to write down exactly how it happened.

This was all so new. I hadn't even seen a titan before, except in pictures or when I stared down at them during the little time I had on the wall. From what I can tell, they're absolutely terrifying. I believe in my squad's abilities, though, and I think we can take them down. Commander yelled, "FORWARD!" We all surged forward and split off into our positions. I gasped at the sight of the beautiful outside. It was so beautiful, nothing can compare to the feeling of freedom we all probably felt right then.

We were apart of the upper left flank, meaning we'd be one of the first people to see titans. I thought it was odd that we, who were fresh and hadn't gone though the "rite of passage" yet, were put in one of the most dangerous spots. Maybe the Commander recognized our skill and wanted to put us to the test. Or maybe we were just being used as titan fodder. I tried pushing all of those disheartening thoughts away as we continued to ride on.

"Titan right behind us!" Kido yelled at us. I turned around and saw the filthy beast coming right for us. "I'll fire the flare!" He yelled as the red smoke rose into the sky.

"Should we kill it?" Blake asked.

I nodded, "We should for good measure." He nodded back at me. "We'll kill it!" I yelled at them. Blake and I turned our horses around and rode towards the titan. "Cover me!" I yelled as I switched to 3DM Gear and shot my wires into the titan's arm. He followed up after me and cut off the titan's hand that tried to grab me as I cut the titan's nape. The titan fell to the ground. We landed safely and got back on our horses backs and rode faster, trying to catch up with our squad.

As we were riding, more titans started chasing us. We fired a red flare and ignored them, they weren't all that dangerous at the moment, we could just let them follow us. There had been two titans before, but it soon turned to five titans. This was a problem. Two titans was one thing, but five? Now that was cutting it close.

We reached our squad and they greeted us; happy to see that we were back alive. We told them about the titans that were following us and said that we needed to go get some more reinforcements so that we could take them out. We ran into another squad. Odd, because we weren't supposed to do that. We must've been out of formation.

We ran towards the titans with the other five soldiers we'd acquired from the other squad. Blake covered me as I killed one of the titans, and I looked around to see if he was okay. He cut the hand off of one, but the other hand came up behind him and grabbed him. I immediately went after him to save him, and I succeeded by killing the titan that was holding him. He'd been squeezed really hard, and had lost consciousness. He fell to the ground with a hard landing. If the fall hadn't damaged him enough, the giant titan body suddenly fell on him. I couldn't do anything, except wait for the titan body to dissolve.

I heard a scream come from above me. I saw Jessica being held by a titan with tears in her eyes as she was slowly being brought towards the titan's mouth. I jumped up after her and cut the titan's fingers. She flew away on her gear before anything else could happen to her. The titans were all dead now, with the help of my squad and the other squad. I didn't know what their squad name was, but they were helpful and fortunately no one died. At least, no one yet. We could only wait for the titan body to dissolve, but I knew that the weight of all that meat couldn't feel good. I just didn't want to admit that he was dead.

After the body finally dissolved, we all rushed over to Blake. He was laying on the ground completely still. I suspected the worst as I rushed up to him. I felt his pulse and thankfully he was still breathing, it was just faint. I yelled at them all that we needed to somehow pick him up and bring him back to the walls, but we hadn't been given the sound of retreat yet. We were out on the wide plains with no where to go for safety. We saw a nearby forest with trees and decided that they were our best shot to rest for a while until we could go back. It may seem a little selfish that we completely abandoned everyone, but we couldn't continue with Blake in the condition that he was. I carried him as gently as I could so that I wouldn't injure him further. Sadly, a little bit of pain was inevitable. We sat up in the giant tree waiting for the Regiment to turn around and sound retreat.

Blake lay on my lap and rested. He would groan every once in a while, but other than that he was still and noiseless. I was so worried for him. I did not want him to die, but I didn't have much control over it now. If only I'd caught him before he hit the ground, or even if I'd pulled him out of the way of the falling titan before it landed. This was no time to blame myself though. I needed to stay strong, for Blake. Suddenly, Blake groaned loudly making the entire squad come closer to our branch.

"You shouldn't speak, Blake!" Jessica said with worry in her voice. "It'll only make your condition worse!"

"I don't care anymore," was Blake's surprising response. "I've lived a short, yet fulfilling life. I can die knowing... that I died instead of somebody else."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "Stop sounding stupid. You're not going to die."

He chuckled a bit before he groaned louder. "I'm glad you think so." He started to cough some more and out came blood. My eyes widened in surprise. I knew his condition was bad, but not this bad. Coughing up blood meant an injury in the lungs. I theorized that he'd broken a few ribs from either the fall or the titan falling on him, and the broken ribs had punctured his lungs several times. The odds weren't in his favor and I knew he wasn't going to make it. He began again, "I need you guys to know..., " he trailed off as he he coughed again.

"Hey! Blake!" I yelled at him.

"What? Oh... yeah. I need you guys to know, that I am so proud of you." He gave a faint smile. "I've always been so proud and thought that you guys were the best squad I could ever hope to have. I love you all," he added as he looked each one of us in the eyes. His gaze lingered on Jessica for a moment before she nodded her head as if she got the message.

"We love you, too," I said to him. I hope he got that and nobody else. They're my squad, I guess they have to figure out sometime.

"Good." His last word. 'Good'. What a lovely word to end his short run.

Jessica was so extremely sad. I couldn't look at her without thinking of Blake. She was the only thing that was basically left of him, that showed he'd lived after we'd burned his body. I've decided that if I can be good and kind to her, it's like being good and kind to Blake. So I will make sure that Jessica is all right and that she is happy.

My hand hurts so much. I'm sorry, but I can't keep reliving this memory. Please forgive, good bye.

Levi was really sad for a few moments before he remembered that he didn't even know this person and that he shouldn't really care. This person was dead anyways. Out of no where, a knock was heard on Levi's door. He wasn't really in the mood to talk to people, so he yelled, "Go away!"

"Nope," came the voice of Hanji.

Levi inwardly groaned. He didn't feel like dealing with shitty glasses right now. He was in emotional pain. "Go away!" He yelled again.

"Levi! I need to talk to you!"

"Not in the mood."

"It's really important!"

"I'm sure it isn't."

"I'm sure it is."

He groaned extremely loudly. "UGH, FINE!"

"Yay!" She said happily as she opened the door.

"What do you want?" He asked, sounding both bored and annoyed. Everyone will forever be guessing on how he managed to do so.

"Well, I was told to tell you that the dead cadets' possessions are being shipped out."

"By who?"

"Erwin."

"Ah." Figures. Erwin mysteriously knew everything. Levi was interested in why Erwin told Hanji to tell him. He didn't suspect anything, did he? No, that was impossible. He hadn't made it known that he'd taken those journals. "You can leave now."

"I'll leave when I want to leave," she said defiantly. "Which is right now." She left.

He sighed again. He took another glance at the two journals he had. Levi knew he couldn't keep these journals forever. He had to return them. In fact, he'd have to do it himself. He also somewhat wanted to meet these families, anyways. He knew what he needed to do. Time to cash in some favors.

"Hanji!" Levi yelled. "I need a favor!"