Song- "Chances" by Backstreet Boys

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*****

I remained still, my fingers curling around his shirt tightly.

His arms loosened around me a little bit. When I didn't move, his arms returned more securely around me, thumb brushing against my back gently.

"So Rhysand did banish him."

He looked at my curiously, so I explained to him about the confirmation of the letter from the servants at the old mansion and how Rhysand had banished him.

"He didn't tell me. He let me believe that Haven was murdered in such a terrible way. Mauled, with his chest ripped open. Let me live with that image for twenty years...and he had banished him. I don't know how he did it, being trapped my Amarantha, but...he let me live with that image. And I don't know if he's lied to me any other times. I want to trust him again, but I feel like a wedge has been shoved between us. Does that make sense? Am I being unreasonable? He's done so much for me. He doesn't have any ill intent, but he lied for me and kept that lie up for a really long time. Why make me see that, anyways?"

My fists clenched around his shirt tighter until my fingernails dig into my skin.

Azriel merely remained silent.

I moved my hands from his shirt and rested them on his sides where he had been stabbed and whispered. "It was really Haven? That did this to you? That you went to take care of while I was with Cassian and Jace at the camp and then at the mansion?" I looked up at him.

His eyes were filled with sadness and regret as he whispered, "Yes."

"Did...did you know, too? That he was alive? After all this time?" I whispered.

"Yes."

"Why...why did you let me believe that lie?"

"Because if you believed he was dead, he would have no more power over you. He wouldn't be able to hurt you."

"So you just let Rhys alter my memories? Believe that he was dead?"

"It was safer for you. I never wanted to lie to you, love, but it was a lot more than that." He said softly, scarred fingers fiddling with the sheets. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

I released his shirt and looked away from him down at my lap and whispered, "He wouldn't have hurt me."

He was quiet for a while. One of his scarred hands lifted like he was going to take my hand, but he dropped it onto the bed. "I'm so sorry, Adrianna."

I looked up at him and saw his eyes were glistening with tears. I reached up to hold his face in my hands and he leaned into my touch, closing his eyes, one hand resting on my thigh, the other holding one of my hands to his face and he turned his head and kissed the inside of my wrist.

"I'm sorry." He whispered again and a tear slid down his cheek. I tiled his face up and kissed his tear away and then I kissed his forehead.

"I love you, Azriel." I whispered.

His shoulders shook and his arms moved around me tightly as he pulled me closer to him and buried his face into my shoulder. I shifted to face him more and just held onto him, my fingers running through his hair. My heart broke as I felt him shudder a little beneath me.

"Look at me, my love." I whispered to him and moved my hands to guide his face up to look at me and I kissed his forehead when he looked up, my hands resting on the sides of his head, kissing his lips softly. "Tell me everything you know about Haven. From the beginning. Please."

His hazel eyes closed for a moment, then he looked up at me and whispered, "It will hurt you and I don't want that."

I shifted in front of him so that I could sit more comfortably, then said, "I can't be protected from all hurts, my love. I'm strong I can take it."

Remorse flashed in his eyes and I kissed his temple and whispered, "It's ok. I love you."

He let out a shaky breath, then said, "I love you." He replied, then let out a slow breath, then said, "He was banished because he was feeding intel to Hybern about the Night Court."

I frowned, eyebrows drawing together, my heart seeming to freeze up in my chest. Azriel swallowed hard and continued.

"About two months before Rhysand was captured and the other High Lords were held hostage when Amarantha came, Cassian had me watch Haven, claiming there was something about him that he was unsure of. So, I did. I followed him, as did my spies. He put up a good front around other people and was a genuinely great warrior and good leader. I noticed during my time spying on him that he began to take special interest in a certain female in a camp next to his. He was feverish and would talk about nothing other than 'getting her'. Then I found out who she was...and it was you. So, I began to watch him even closer, even going so far as to dissolve almost completely into shadow to sneak into his office. And I found his notes. His letters. Then, Amarantha attacked, but he wasn't shocked. He knew when she was coming and warned no one else. All the while he kept going after you."

I clenched my jaw, recalling the amount of times he came calling, asking when I was ready, and how he paid my dowry so quickly. It all seemed to make sense, suddenly, in a dark and horrifying way. "I...was I a target?" I whispered hoarsely.

"Yes." His hands tightened on my shirt and he swallowed hard. "I dug deeper and snuck into his office. I went through his papers and found letters and documents in a language I didn't know. I went to research and learn the language, but by the time I had enough of an understanding of it, he had moved in and already gotten you. From then on, I decided I'd attend all the monthly meetings with Cassian. To make sure you were ok. That he wasn't doing anything to you. And that's when the mating bond snapped into place for me when I saw you that first time. You seemed safe, up until you were captured. Those four months, I was relaying intel on him to Cassian and we both watched him closely. He had apparently intended to bring you to Hybern after your wedding so you would be forced to stay with him under the law. So Cassian acted and we managed to get enough information to Rhys that he was able to send us back an official order for his banishment.

"It was put into motion immediately. He was told he had to leave the Night Court under pain of death, so he did. In the mean time, I planned to get you and bring you to the Court of Dreams to keep you safe, but you were stolen and gone by the time I got to the mansion. You meet Rhys first. So, he arranged for a different body to be the one you would be accused of murdering. He glamoured it's face so you saw Haven. And you were then kept Under the Mountain. It was the only way he knew how to keep you well out of reach of any other Hybern spies. We don't know why they want you so badly, either. Rhys never intended for you to go through such hell, but he kept you from even worse torment. Amarantha wanted to...wanted to sell you off. Rhys stopped that and I am thankful, now that I know you've been through that hell before. He managed to link our minds so we could talk. So I could help you. Be with you.

"In those years, Adrianna, all I wanted was for you to be alright. For you to come to the Court of Dreams. To be safe. So, I began to shift some of my powers onto you. To make you faster and stronger. Unable to use your wings, I knew it would cripple you, so I made you physically faster and stronger. Little by little I funneled some of my power into you. So you could get out. So you could live. And so I could wait to get to you. And during that time, I watched Haven closely. Made sure he knew nothing more about you or where you were. And after that...well, you know the rest."

After he finished, I remained silent and looked down at my hands. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't even fathom how much he had sacrificed for me. A tear slowly slid down my cheek. I didn't think there was words I could use to describe what I felt in that instant.

"You've done so much..." I said hoarsely. "So much for me, and I...and I don't know what to do to help you...to help you in return. Even when...even when I didn't know I was in danger and needed saving or protecting, you were there." I looked at him and just took his face in my hands again and kissed him.

His arms slid up my back and he kissed me back just as deeply. "Just stay. That's all I ask." He whispers against my mouth.

"Always." I replied and kissed him.

******

I woke up to sunlight and my head on his chest. His wings were spread out across the bed behind him and mine were draped over us. He was sleeping, but I knew the slightest of movements would wake him up.

So, I remained still, head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat and steady breathing. My thoughts wandered to yesterday when he had come into the Court bleeding to death. How I healed him.

I squeezed my eyes shut, blocking out the images, then got up and got dressed. I sat on a stool and pulled on my boots, then left the room, closing the door behind me softly.

I wandered around the halls aimlessly for a bit, lost in thought, thinking about what Azriel told me, and what happened after that conversation. I dragged my hand across one of the walls as I walked.

But I froze when I heard voices coming from up ahead. I disappeared into shadows against the wall and put up my mental shields, listening.

"...let me see her." A voice was saying. "Yes. I did it. But I had reason to. And I don't see how it's fair to me."

"Fair?" The second voice snarled. Cassian. "You lost all entitlement to any fair treatment after that third offense."

"You know the terms of your return. You know the law. My law." Rhys said coldly. I crept closer to the voices, remaining melded into the shadows and keeping my breaths silent.

A pressure pressed around my walls and I recognized it. Rhys. He knew I was there, but didn't tell to leave. The pressure faded.

"A third offense? I have legal right to have her. I paid for her. I-"

"You will not speak of her like that or even to her, you snake." Cassian snarled.

"We were betrothed! My banishment does not take that away. The law says she's mine and I have as much a right to speak of her as however I wish!"

Haven. Haven was right around the corner. He was here.

I reached down the bond to Azriel, and a moment later, he materialized behind me in the shadows, arms circling around my waist as he listened intently. He was dressed and when he realized who was out there, an angry expression appeared on his face.

I took one of his hands in mine, gave it a squeeze, then stepped out of the shadows, releasing a breath, and came around the corner and to where the three of them spoke.

And they all went silent.