{Pictured above are what their matching hand tattoos look like}

Song- "Long Way Down" by Tom Odell

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*****

We returned to the Court of Dreams that night. After kissing my cheek, Azriel left me to talk to Rhysand about what I discovered.

The High Lord studied my face carefully, then said, "Accompany me for a walk?"

I simply nodded and walked with him down a hall and I realized he was leading me towards a large balcony. We stopped at the rail and he leaned against it.

"I know who ordered Haven's death." I say and cross my arms over my chest.

"And what are you going to do?" He asked.

"Don't I need a contract from you in order to do anything, Rhys?" I asked snidely and he chuckled.

"Indeed. I heard about how you did it, too, and I must say I am impressed. I chose the right person."

"Why did you ask me to be your assassin, anyways?"

He looked at me, then said, "Because I saw you in the Ring. And when you told me in code that you had warned my family here. That you had been helping them. And then risked your life to speak directly to me, I knew I could trust you. You have the fame from those years in the Ring. People know your skill. The thing is, you're just so good at playing the small helpless female that no one expects the cobra until you've already struck."

I beamed at the compliments, and asked, "So, what am I going to do? Take care of people as you need me to?"

His violet eyes drifted to the tattoo on my left hand and he said, "If your mate isn't too affected by it, I'd ask you to accompany me to the Court of Nightmares. I'd like to introduce you and make sure they know just what they'll have to deal with if they cross me."

I smirked. "So I'm your secret weapon?"

"In a way, yes. But more than that. To me, you are family. To the Court of Nightmares, you'll be a weapon and an instrument of fear."

I smiled at his words, then looked at him and asked, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

He looked at me, jaw tightening a bit, then nodded once.

I paused, thinking about how to phrase it, then said, "I know how you feel- how you were feeling- those fifty years with her. I know what it feels like to be a slave to serve in another's bed. I know how it feels and the toll it takes. My father liked to sell me off to spend the night with any wealthy Illyrian male available." I let out a steady breath, knowing I was potentially striking a nerve. "I guess my question for you is this: how do you get to feeling worthy again?"

He knew what I meant. I knew he did because he straightened and crossed his arms over his chest and looked out at the glimmering city far, far below. "Truthfully, Adrianna, I think that feeling will always be there. I know it will be for me. But I also know one thing: it takes a special someone for you to realize that you are worthy and that you are perfect in their eyes, even if you don't see it yourself, in order to grow from it and move on enough to feel worthy."

"Do you have someone like that?"

A small smile appeared on his face. "Not yet. But I'm trying."

"I hope you do find someone, Rhys. You deserve it." I say and smiled a little at him. "I just hope I can be good enough for him."

I wasn't sure why I was being so open with him, but I did know I trusted him. He had called me family and given me a place in his own family without needing to and helped me numerous times Under the Mountain and was patient with me when I initially didn't trust him.

"I can't speak for Azriel, but I can speak for the way he acts around you. When he brought you here after you were stabbed, you were unconscious for days. He wouldn't sleep. Barely ate. He put his life on hold until you woke up. If that doesn't answer any lingering doubts you have about his feelings for you, then I don't know what will."

I found myself blushing and he patted my shoulder then said, "Back to the matter at hand. Who is the one who's behind it all?"

"His name is Jace. He and Haven didn't get along, and I guess he had him killed in order to take his place as commander of that legion."

He nodded slowly, then said, "I suggest speaking to Cassian. He can confirm or deny if this Jace is the commander in Haven's stead." 

"Alright. Is Feyre still here?"

He seemed to stiffen a little at the mention of her, but said, "No. I brought her back to the Spring Court this morning."

I nodded and took note of the way he reacted to me mentioning her, then said, "Alright. Thank you. I'll go and speak to Cassian about it. Where can I find him?"

"He should be in his quarters, but if not, try looking for him in the dining hall."

I nodded. "Actually, I think I'll turn in for the night and check up on it tomorrow."

"If that's what you feel the need to do. Good luck, Adrianna."

I nodded and turned to leave the balcony, but stopped when he called out, "Adrianna. Have you tried to fly yet?"

I paused. "I...no. Not yet."

He nods. "Ask Azriel to teach you at some point in your training. You'll need to learn how."

I nodded, then turned and left, making my way down the halls until I reached my room and I pushed open the door, closing it behind me.

A tendril of shadow curled around my left hand and wrist and squeezed and I smiled.

I wasn't sure where he had gone off to, but all I needed was that tendril of shadow that linked me to him. I went to the tub in the adjoining bathroom and turned on the water for a bath and filled the tub with steamy water, then went and undressed. I looked at myself in the mirror and frowned.

The starving look and paleness I had gained Under the Mountain was almost gone. I couldn't see my ribs anymore, but I could use more meat on my bones. It was the scars that covered my body that made me grimace.

I moved away from the mirror and shut off the water, then slid into the tub all the way to my chin, letting the warm water and soaps seep into my skin and aching muscles.

It was Jace who had killed Haven, then. It was Jace who had ordered him to be killed in such a way. His idea to blame me for it and trap me Under the Mountain, practically selling me to Amarantha for his own personal gain.

I squeezed my eyes shut as that mutilated body appeared in my mind again and I just dunked my head under water and washed out my hair, then rinsed it out. I stepped out of the bath and drained it, drying myself off and pulled my hair up into a towel to dry.

I picked up my undergarments and put them on, then grabbed my toothbrush, sticking it into my mouth and stepped out of the bathroom but froze when I saw something on my bed.

I walked over to it and saw it was an envelope. I looked around the room.

"Hello?"

There was no answer. I locked my door and wrapped a robe around me, shifting my wings through the slits in the back.

The shadows curled around my hand tightened ever so slightly and his voice travelled down the bond.

Everything alright? Your pulse quickened.

"Yeah. Just found some envelope on my bed after I got out of the bath." I said out loud, still not entirely used to talking with the bond yet.

Is anyone in the room?

"Not to my knowledge. If there is someone still lurking in my room while I was bathing they're gonna get their asses kicked."

Hm. I'm coming.

"No, wait, I'm not-"

But it was too late. He materialized out of the shadows and I blushed scarlet and wrapped my arms around myself as I stood in my robe.

He tilted his head to the side and grinned a little. "You're not what?"

"Dressed." I whispered and felt even more embarrassed.

He shrugged. "I've seen you already."

I scoffed and tossed a pillow at his head and it smacked him in the face with a satisfying thwap.

"Shut up." I grumbled, face as red as my hair.

He tossed the pillow back onto the bed and walked around it and sat down on the end and took my hand and pulled me towards him to stand between his legs and he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me close, head resting on my chest. I smiled and looped my arms around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head and smoothed his hair.

"Love, I love our cuddles, but I'd like to read whatever this letter is." I say and kissed the top of his head again.

He looked up at me and pouted, but moved his arms so I could snatch the letter, then he pulled me down into his lap. I kissed his cheek and he nuzzled his face into my shoulder.

I broke the seal on the envelope and pulled the letter out from inside. In a neat scrawl was a letter addressed to me.

I tossed the envelope aside and read it out loud.

"'Dear Adrianna Meridia. I trust you have received this letter in good health. I am writing to inform you that there are matters to attend to at your old home once owned by Haven Rothorne. Because you were- and in all technicality still are- the lady of the house, there are many things to be put into order and place back at the mansion. If you choose to keep the house or sell it, it is up to you, but it and the servants are indebted to you. He wishes for you to take the house and do with it as you wish, for he will not be returning to the Illyrian camps or the Night Court, having been...'" I stopped as my eyes narrowed on the word. "'Banished'?"

Azriel picked up his head and frowned at the paper, stiffening a little behind me. "Keep reading."

I swallowed hard. "'...having been banished. He only made it known he was leaving before disappearing not long after you were taken. Lady, I hope you are well, wherever you are, and I want you to know he wishes you well though he cannot see you. In thanks, Gregory, House Butler and Head of Servants."

I felt as though a weight had been dropped onto my head.

I checked the date.

Sent by magic to me today.

It was written this morning.

"Haven...is alive?"