So, I'm having a bit of a breakdown because I seriously don't know what am I going to do after finishing this book.
I don't think I'll come up with something as good as this.

Yesterday I came up with the perfect ending for this. And I'm crying happy tears, I swear.

I'm really proud about this book and It's making me so happy that I really don't know what to do next.

Maybe I should just retire after this. Idk.

Some of you asked how many chapters left, well let me say that they're going to be thirty chapters in total.

I'm crying already.
I don't want it to end.

Mag :(

ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ-ғɪʀsᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ.

I woke up with the biggest smile plastered on my face.
Harry was still there, it wasn't a dream.

He was there, lying next to me, all his curls sprawled on my pillow, and his sun-kissed skin glittering under the morning light coming through the window.

I noticed that our hands were still tangled together since last night, and even though I couldn't feel my fingers anymore because of his tight grip around them, I didn't want to let go of it.

Harry's face was inches from mine and we were breathing in the same air. I moved my free hand to shove one of his curls out of his eyes so I could appreciate his beautiful features better.

And just when I was about to wake him up softly, I heard someone knocking on my door.

"Lou? You awake?" - Fizzy asked from the other side of the door.

"Yeah."

I felt Harry's grip tightening around my hand as he started to wake up on his own.

"Want to come with us to the beach? You can bring Harry."

"I don't know Fizz. Give me a minute."

"Sure, we'll be getting ready downstairs."

I didn't care about answering her, I just returned to look at Harry stretching on my side, still without letting go of my hand.

"Morning." - I smiled.

"Morning, Lou." - He yawned.

"How did you sleep?"

"Good. You? Did I bother you much?" - He asked, running his free hand on his face.

It was beautiful to see, he looked so cute, huggable, and small.

"Not at all."

"Stop lying to me." - He giggled.

"It's true."

"Sure." - He rolled his eyes.

"Did you hear what my sister said?"

"Yeah… beach huh?"

"Yes, want to go? Or we can stay. Whatever you want."

"No, it's okay, we can go for a while. Then I'll probably have to head back to the hotel because you know…"

"Yes, but maybe stay until lunch?"

"Yes, I'd like that." - He smiled at me and let out a little yawn.

"C'mon sleeping beauty." - I said, standing up and extending my hand to him.

He giggled and reluctantly took it, impulsing himself up until he was on his feet.

Harry and I changed our clothes to swim trunks, after I searched in my wardrobe for a pair that would fit him, and then made our way downstairs where all of my family were getting ready to go.

I grabbed two toasts from the kitchen and handed them to Harry for him to have breakfast while I went to the stables to prepare Theodore.

Lottie and Felicité were there too, they had already prepared the four saddles for the horses and watched me as I finished setting it on Theodore.

"How was spending the night with your boyfriend?" - Fizzy asked.

"He isn't my boyfriend."

"Yet." - Lottie said and laughed.

"It was fine. Just try to behave and stop embarrassing me. Please?"

"Where's the fun in that?"

I rolled my eyes as I took Theodore out, ignoring them and walking to the backyard where the rest of the people were waiting for us.
Fizzy grabbed Ernest and they both got on her horse, Rudolph; Lottie told my mom and Doris to go with her on Sandy, Daisy and Phoebe shared the ride on their own horse, Princess, and that left Harry and I on Theodore.

My father said that he would prefer to have some alone time until we got back, so he wasn't coming with us.

Harry agreed to get on Theodore only if I was the one behind the reins, I laughed at his conclusion and helped him climb up and sit behind me.

Once he had accommodated himself, I looked at him from above my shoulder and he had his eyes shut and his arms tense at the sides of his body.

"Hey, look at me." - I whispered.

He slowly opened his eyes and locked them with mine.

"Yes?"

"Put your arms around me to hold yourself."

Harry nodded and surrounded my torso with his arms, slowly sliding them on my stomach and pressing his front against my back.
I  tried to capture in my memory that feeling of Harry's hands stroking on my stomach.

"Don't let me fall." - He said, resting his chin on my left shoulder.

"Never."

I turned my head back to the front and I could see that the twins had already disappeared into the forest and Lottie was way ahead of us too.
Fizzy was being more cautious because she was with Ernie sitting in front of her, behind Rudolph's reins.

I whipped on Theodore's leash, making him trot to reach Rudolph's pace.

Felicité smiled at us as we passed through her and I followed Lottie's horse through the forest.

The sun was shining bright and some rays were slipping through the leaves of the trees.
We were not going far, we just needed to cross the forest and we would probably settle on the nearest piece of sand.

It was not like Harry and I's point of meeting which was a middle point between the city and the countryside.

Harry had never been in this part. On the proper countryside part.
And I haven't been here in a while either, at least not since my morning encounters with Harry started.

"Are you good there in the back?" - I asked him.

"Yes, thank you."

"Still scared of horses?"

"Not if I'm with you."

I smiled to myself and focused back on the trail in front of me.

A few minutes later we could start to see the turquoise water in the distance once the trees cleared.

The twins, who were at the front of the caravan, first landed on the sand and immediately ran to the water, without even worrying about leaving Princess untied.

Lottie helped my mother and Doris to get off of Sandy and they started arranging the blanket over the sand.

Harry and I were the thirds to arrive and of course I first helped Harry land safely in the sand, he thanked me with one of those precious smiles of his.

Last, I helped Ernest get down off Rudolph as Fizzy helped to hitch the four horses leashes on the nearest tree.
I took Ernest in my arms to put some sunscreen on him.

"Can someone help Doris with her sunscreen?" - I asked, noticing my little sister was wasting all of the cream on her arms and not putting any on the rest of her body.

"On it." - Harry said.

I watched Harry lifting Doris up and making her laugh as he helped her with the cream.
I saw Doris poking Harry's nose and leaving a very notorious sunscreen stain in the tip of his nose, making her laugh even louder.

Can he get any more perfect?

"I heard that." - Harry whispered, looking at me.

I blushed on site and turned to continue what I was doing before.
I finished with Ernie and left him to sit on the blanket next to my mum.

Phoebe shouted at me from the water to swim with her, so without thinking much I ran into the ocean, Harry joining us moments later and carrying Doris with him.

"You could have just given her to my mother." - I said, swimming towards him.

"She wanted to be with the adults. Right baby girl?"

"Yes!" - Doris screamed.

"I couldn't say no to her." - Harry concluded.

"Is she your favorite now?" - I teased him.

After you.

I felt like I was dying inside. He was being completely open about how he felt towards me since yesterday. Completely open about our feelings towards each other.

"I heard that." - I said, clearly blushing, causing him to laugh.

"My bad." - He shrugged.

I looked at him closely and noted that he still had the tip of his nose smeared with sunscreen.

"You still have cream on your nose." - I giggled.

"Huh?"

"Let me." - I said, moving closer and lifting my hand to his nose, wiping it away. - "There." - I smiled at him and our eyes found one another, staying still as we stared fondly at each other.

Doris interrupted our eyes connection when she got rid of Harry's arms, trying to miserably swim to me.
I caught her before she could drown and took her in my arms.

"You want to learn how to swim, munchkin?"

"Yes!"

"Okay. C'mon I'll teach you."

🌊🌊🌊

After an hour of having fun and swimming around with my siblings and Harry, we returned to where my mother was sitting on the blanket.
She had prepared some sandwiches for all of us so, as we were already starving, we sat down to eat.

I sat next to Harry with Doris hovering over my lap. As she was eating, I started braiding her wet hair because it was sticking to her skin, getting messy and dirty with sand.

Harry was watching attentively at me, I could feel his gaze all over my every movements.

"I didn't know you could do that."

I laughed and shrugged.

"Five female sisters."

"I used to have long hair and my sister tended to braid it too. Then Mae asked me to cut it and well… I did it to please her."

I frowned and looked up at him.

God, his ex was a bitch.

"I heard that." - He laughed.

"No one should ask you to do something you don't want to do. And you shouldn't be so pleasant with everyone either. Is your life, not theirs."

"Why do I have the feeling that we're not talking about hair anymore?"

I smiled at him and returned to finish with Doris' hair.

After we both finished our sandwiches, Harry and I walked a short distance away from my family, just to have a bit of time alone before he would go back to his hotel.

"My car is still at your door." - He said.

"I guess you'll have to ride on Theodore again if you want it back." - I laughed.

"God, please kill me already." - He exaggeratedly said and looked up at the sky, making me laugh.

"Nope, don't kill him. I'm not going to let you die." - I said.

"I know." - He grinned at me.

I smiled widely at him and bit my lip, not sure of doing what I wanted to do.
All my impulses were begging me to hold him, to show him what I really meant, to never let him go.

So I decided to risk it and suddenly wrapped my arms around his waist, looking up at him and kissing his cheek.
His eyes quickly found mine.

I felt his body instantly tensing up and then, with a long sigh, he relaxed.
Harry moved his hand up to my neck, stroking on my still wet hair, slowly drawing circles on my nape.
We never broke eye contact and I smiled at him, happy that he was being comfortable around me.

All you are is a whole new shade of light for me. Your smile is as bright as the first rays of light in the morning.
I can't get enough of it, please keep smiling for me.

"I heard that." - I said carefully, almost in a whisper, without taking my eyes off him.

"I'll have to learn how to stop thinking about these embarrassing things then." - He smiled.

"That was not embarrassing. It was beautiful. Thank you."

"You deserve much more." - He whispered as he kept stroking my neck, his face looking down at me with soft but worried eyes.

I surely could get lost under his touch.

I can't help but wonder when this is going to end. Because I'm surely not ready for it. I'm not ready to lose you.

"I made myself a promise, you know?" - I said softly.

"Which promise?"

"That I'd fight for you. Not only to stand by your side, but also to keep you going, to keep you from breaking. I'd fight against anything that is hurting you."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not ready to lose you either."

Harry nodded and pressed his forehead against mine, closing his eyes in the process and taking a deep breath.

I can't do this.

Harry let go of me, separating our bodies and leaving me without his body warmth, without his soothing hands, and without that closeness that I yearned for so long.

"Can we head back? I need to check on my father's mess."

I swallowed my pain away and looked down at my feet.

"Sure. Anything you need about that, you can always call me, yeah?"

"Yeah."

We walked back to where the horses were tied and I freed Theodore.
Harry went to say goodbye to my family and he climbed up Theodore behind me.

In that tense silence we returned to the farm. His arms around my torso weren't as intimate as when we rode to the beach that same morning, they were distant now.

Once we got to the farm, I left Theodore at the stables and walked Harry to the front lawn where his car was parked.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning?" - I asked, unsure of where we were standing.

"Please." - He smiled.

"You're not mad?" - I asked, looking everywhere but him. Too ashamed to do anything else.

"No." - He said and took a step closer to me, taking my hand in his' - "I'll see you tomorrow."

"You know something?"

"Huh?"

"Beach is much better at night, you should give it a chance."

"Then I guess we can try tomorrow night instead of morning." - He smiled down at me.

"We can try, yeah."

"Around eight?"

"Cool." - I said, causing him to smile again.

He leaned down and kissed my cheek sweetly.

"Bye." - He said, letting go of my hand and walking towards the door of his car.

I bit my lips and waved at him as he got inside his vehicle and drove away.