I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart beating rapidly against my ribcage. Before I could fully take in my surroundings, I tore the small trash can from under the night stand and threw up the little I'd eaten last night. I sat there, dry heaving for over five minutes as my hair was gently pulled away from my face and held loosely behind me.

Once I was sure nothing else would try to come up, I swiped my sleeve across my mouth and bowed my head, wishing the boy behind me would disappear and we could pretend like last night never happened. Instead, Colton hesitated for a minute before resting a hand on my shoulder and turned me toward him.

He looked as if he'd been awake all night. Dark circles were around his eyes, bloodshot and seeming to pulsate in the light bleeding in from the blinds above the headboard. The worst part was he didn't look the least bit concerned with his current state but looked as if he was terrified I'd breakdown again.

"Are you okay?" His voice was so soft it was barely audible.

I looked at the blanket between us, acting as a nearly nonexistent barrier between our bodies.

"Stupid question." Colton muttered to himself, then added. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No." I responded, averting my eyes so he couldn't see the guilt in them.

He opened his mouth to speak, then decided against whatever it was he had been about to say and nodded, as if there was some sort of silent understanding between the two of us. I started to talk, but he cut me off with a shake of his head.

"Stop. Don't apologize for anything, Avery." He gently touched my hand, then held it between both of his when I didn't jerk away. "I told you I was here for you. I will always be here for you. And never apologize for falling apart, it just means you've held yourself together too long."

For the first time in two and a half months, the warmth of Colton's hands around mine, his body inches away, was actually somewhat of a comfort. Last night had been the best I'd slept in a while, even with the tossing and turning throughout the night.

I gently shook Colton's hand from my shoulder and swung my feet over the side of the bed, watching as the tips of my toes brushed the cold hardwood floor. I could see Colton opening his mouth in an attempt to speak out of the corner of my eye, but no words left it.

"Avery-" Colton started.

I stood, swallowing and averting my eyes so I didn't have to look at him.

"Thank you for last night." With no more than those five words, I slipped out of the room. The guilt eating at my chest stayed with me until I stepped into the kitchen. I jolted to a stop, nearly tripping over my feet when I caught sight of my older brother digging through the pantry. He jumped back, slamming his shoulder blade into the corner of the wall when he turned to find me in the dining room, the pancake mix hitting the ground with a loud thud that echoed through the kitchen and throughout the house.

"Jesus, Ave." He breathed, crouching to pick up the box. "You scared the crap out of me. You're up early. I didn't even hear you come down stairs."

I squeezed my eyes shut for a minute, breathing shakily as I ran a hand through my tangled blonde locks.

"Can I ask you something?" I whispered.

Being the joker he is, even when there is a clear tension hanging in the air between us, he smirked and responded, "You just did."

I stared at him blankly for a minute before he made a gesture for me to go on, the smile slowly faltering.

"The alcohol last night wasn't from Colton going through Mom and Dad's cabinet. And he wasn't the one trying to take the pills. It was me." I paused, forcing my eyes away from the floor and to my brother. "Are you mad?"

He set the pancake mix on the kitchen table and crossed the small distance between us, taking my shoulders in his hands and gently nudging my chin so I was staring into his concerned green eyes.

"What's going on, Ave? You know you can tell me anything, right? Is it Colton? Because I can talk to him and-"

"It's not Colton. I've just got a lot going on in my head right now, Lan." I cut him off before he could go any further.

The last thing I wanted was Landon going to Colton thinking he was the root of all my problems. If anything, as much as I didn't want to admit to to myself, he had given me a sense of comfort that I hadn't been able to find anywhere else the last couple months.

"Avery." Landon touched his palm to my cheek, shaking his head. "I'm here for you. I've always been here for you. Don't be afraid to talk to me, I won't judge you, sis. I can promise whatever it is your going through, I've been through too."

I fought the urge to retort that he had absolutely no idea how I was feeling, bowing my head a fraction.

"I can't, Landon." My voice trembled with every word. "You don't understand, you won't ever understand. I'm sorry."

*

Isabelle talked me into going to the mall with her. It definitely was far from what I'd actually rather be spending my Saturday doing, but the second she showed up at my house with big, pleading eyes, I reconsidered.

Since she'd gotten back, we hadn't spent a lot of time together. It wasn't her fault, she had been asking me to hang out for weeks, I'd just made up excuses every time. I could hardly face her at school without feeling the guilt of not telling her what happened eating at me. I knew deep down it must have felt like I was pushing her away, and maybe subconsciously I was, but she didn't deserve it.

We were in the middle of some dress boutique when a text from Bianca lit up my phone. I shut the screen off immediately, flashes of last night resurfacing for a moment before, I turned it on and took in what it said.

"Landon?" Isabelle's voice stirred me out of my daze. I glanced up to find her with a bag hanging off her arm, the straw from her Frappuccino in her mouth as she stared at me with raised eyebrows.

I shook my head. "Bianca actually."

Isabelle didn't know a whole lot about Bianca. I had told her she was just a friend of Landon's that I'd met over the summer.

"Oh." Isabelle said. "What does she want?"

"She wants to know if she can come hang out with us." I answered with a questioning look.

She hesitated for a moment, then shrugged a shoulder with a glance at her phone and smiled. "Sure."

**

Isabelle and I wandered aimlessly around the mall for a half hour before we ended up at the food court waiting for Bianca. The second I spotted her, my stomach dropped.

She looked like absolute hell.

Her eyes were so puffy and bloodshot that it appeared that they weren't open at all. Despite her best makeup attempts, her cheeks were still stained with tears and flushed. Isabelle sucked in a deep breath and whistled when Bianca slowed to a stop in front of us.

"Well you look like you were just dragged through a sewer." My best friend stated. I shot her a look, to which she just shrugged and turned her attention back to Bianca. "I'm Isabelle."

"Bianca." My friend whispered, outstretching her hand to shake Isabelle's. My best friend tucked one of her red locks behind her ear and took the other girls hand, nodding with a forced, small smile.

As I stared between the two girls in front of me, a tightness started in my chest and slowly weaved its way into the pit of my stomach. I wasn't just watching two of my friends meet for the first time, I was watching the two worlds I'd tried so desperately to keep apart from one another for the last few month become one. 

***AN***

Hey guys! I'm so sorry for such a long wait for an update! I hope this was worth the wait! Hopefully I'll get another chapter out tomorrow!

Let me know what you guys think/thought!