My lips trembled with anticipation of what I was seconds from doing. My eyes grazed the orange prescription bottle with my brother's name printed across it. The tips of my fingers enclosed around the lid, pressing it down and twisting it as fresh tears sprung to my eyes, blurring my vision.

I stared into the bottle, touching the back of my hand to my mouth to force back the cry ready to escape it. Seconds after tilting the bottle to pour the small pills into my hand, the entire bottle was swatted out of my grip and became a mess all over the counter top, sink, and floor.

Before I could get a coherent word out, Colton grabbed the liquor bottle sitting on top of the stove and set it on top of the fridge, far beyond my reach.

I glanced around me, then turned back to him. "Look at the mess you made."

My words didn't phase him. He didn't budge from where he stood inches in front of me, his expression unreadable.

"Don't tell me you were about to do what I thought you were about to do." He finally responded.

I looked up at him, the image of him fading into a blur. He slammed his fist against the counter, anger igniting in his eyes.

"Ending your fucking life isn't going to solve anything, Avery! You know that. I know that." He growled through clenched teeth. "The bastard that did this to you will get away with it and another innocent girl will have to experience the same thing. Is that what you want?"

The moment I flinched, his tense shoulders fell back and he met my eyes with a pleading look. "Please don't do this, Ave. I need you."

I shook my head. "Nobody needs me, Colton. I saw tonight that none of this shit ever gets better. I'll be living like this for the rest of my life. Constantly in fear, constant-"

He touched his index finger to my wrist, interrupting me mid-sentence.

"Avery, do I have to get down on my hands and knees and beg you not to do this, to think about what you're doing for a second? What do I have to do to make you understand that there are people that care about you, that love you, that need you, Ave."

"So you expect me to keep running from myself?" I whispered.

Colton stepped closer, his hand falling on top of mine against the counter. "You can't run from yourself when there's nowhere left to hide."

We stood there silently for what felt like an eternity. Colton with one hand against the stove, blocking my way out from one side, and his body against the fridge of the other, not allow an escape route for me on that side either.

Both of us grew rigid when the light flickered on.

My eyes immediately darted over Colton's shoulder to my brother's hunched figure in the entryway. He looked as if he'd just been woken from a deep sleep. His hair was still a tousled mess, and heavy bags hung under his half open eyes.

He grew more alert when he caught sight of the mess of pills scattered all around us, his top lip curling back angrily as he turned his attention to me. "Where the hell have you been hanging out, Ave? Don't tell me you're doing drugs and drinking and shit now. I've been down that road already and it doesn't do any good." Landon said.

I opened my mouth to confess and apologize, but Colton jumped in before I could.

"It was me man." Colton flashed a wry smile at his best friend. "I've been really stressed and thought popping a pill and having a little liquor might loosen me up a bit. I didn't think you'd mind."

Landon looked skeptically between us, then shook his head, obviously too tired to try and piece together the truth. Rather than say anything, he grabbed a cookie from on top of the fridge, offered me a weak smile, then turned his back to us and disappeared out of the dining room. Colton waited until we heard the door click shut to relax back against the fridge.

I stared at him, still reeling in shock over what he'd just done.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

Colton threw a confused look my way. "Do what?"

"Lie for me."

He stays silent for a while, eying the pills around us, then looking me up a down for a minute before he answers.

"I told you that you could trust me, Avery." He breathed softly.

I did my best to hold myself together as I nodded and met his eyes once more.

"Thank you."

*

Like every other night for the last few months, sleep didn't come easy. I found myself wandering downstairs only a couple hours after the scene that I'd caused earlier tonight. What Colton had said had been set on repeat in my head all night.

That's probably the reason why I ended up standing inches from his cracked bedroom door, my knuckles against the door as I listened in to ensure he wasn't asleep.

The light bleeding in from behind me stirs Colton a little in the strange position he's in, somewhere between sitting up and laying back against the headboard.

He jerked upright the second he saw me. "Avery? Are you okay?"

I swallowed, ready to turn around and leave, when he slipped out of bed and makes his way toward the door.

"Ave, hey, come in."

I stared at him for a moment, lips slightly parted, before taking a step into the cold and dark bedroom. I sat on the end of the bed, staring at my shaking hands as I clenched them on my lap. Leaving the door open a crack to let light in, Colton crossed the room to me and crouched at my feet.

"What's going on? Couldn't sleep?" He guessed.

I nodded, dropping my gaze. "Thanks for not saying anything to Landon."

"Sure. Of course." He muttered, but it was obvious his thoughts was elsewhere.

After a moment of silence, I took a deep breath and broke it. "I can't breathe when he's around. It's like someone is physically pushing down a weight on my lungs and closing my throat so I have to struggle to get each and every breath out."

Colton didn't say anything, but gently rested a hand on top of mine in an attempt to stop it from trembling.

"You can keep going, Ave." He paused. "Or you can stop. If it's hurting you to tell me this, then don't. You're ready when you're ready. And I can assure you you'll know when that is."

It took me a few minutes to recollect myself and continue.

"It feels the same when I try to tell people what happened. Except the words form in my head but I can never force them out of my mouth. It's like they're trapped inside my head with the rest of my thoughts overwhelming me, consuming me."

Colton bowed his head as I continued.

"I don't want to feel this anymore, Colton. That's why I went for the pills. I don't want to become Bianca. I don't want to spend every day looking over my shoulder. I don't want to see his face every time I close my eyes. I don't want to feel suffocated by my own thoughts. I want it to stop."

He lifted his head and looked back at me again. "I know, Ave."

It was those three words that finally snapped the little rope that had been holding my sanity together the last few hours. Without hesitation, I collapsed. Every fragment and piece of me falling apart in front of Colton for the second time today. He didn't pull or push away, but gently lowered me on to the ground beside him, hugging me against his chest.

His chin fell against the top of my head, soon followed by a whisper. "I'm so sorry, Avery."

There was a slight crack in his voice as he breathed out the apology. I buried myself deeper against him, my body ravaging with sobs with every breath I took. I felt warmth against the hand clenching his dark tank top and glanced up, barely able to make him out through my tears. It took me a moment to realize there was a tear rolling down his own cheek. He shook his head and rested one of his calloused hands against mine, his breath catching in his throat.

"I'm sorry, Avery." He repeated. "I'm so sorry."

***AN***

Hey guys! I'm so so sorry for such a late update! I've been going through a lot of personal stuff and it's been a long couple months!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and it was worth the wait! 

Let me know what you think/thought!