When I was a child, Landon and I spent more time at Colton's house than we did our own. The matter of fact wasn't something we spoke of often; it ignited the spark of bitterness my brother had for our parents and set aflame any reasoning he had for their absence. Few people actually had the misfortune of witnessing his rage, and I was set on keeping it that way.

As I cooked at Colton's side, basking in the heat radiating off the stove top, for a second I imagined that we were kids again. The image of the boy at my side suddenly wasn't so intimidating and had replaced with the wiry fourth grader with braces and a mop of rusty brown curls. When he glanced in my direction worriedly, a deep bottomless ocean of different shades of blue, the faint picture my mind had painted dissipated into the tense air between us.

"You good?" He questioned softly.

I never got the chance to muster up enough energy to respond.

Landon made his arrival known by shutting the front door. The sound of his car keys jingling the only sound to break through the quiet house since we'd finished the last quesadilla. My fingers curled and tightened around the spatula with every step he took, edging closer to us in the kitchen. He finally peeked his head around the refrigerator as he tossed his jacket on to the back of one of the chair's, licking his lips.

"It smells like heaven in here." He complimented, ruffling my hair.

I looked up, a knot of guilt in the pit of my stomach. He looked far too exhausted to have to be up and back out the door in a couple hours. His dark blonde hair fell against his forehead in a slight sway, green eyes bright and wide against his pale complexion.

"I hope those are all for me." Landon joked, slapping a hand against Colton's shoulder over my head. I ducked out of the way, my back pressed into the hard metal handle on the silverware drawer. Colton slaps a couple onto a plate and pass them over to Landon with a comment I couldn't quite hear. My brother nodded and found his seat at the table, stretching his arms behind his head then dropping one of his hands hard against his stomach and patting it in a quick, semi-graceful movement.

To my surprise, Colton followed close behind without as much as looking back in my direction. I didn't know whether to feel happy to have the two of them off my back or worried because they weren't.

The feeling was short lived.

A second after Colton sat down, he pulled half of one of his quesidillas and set it on a small saucer. I outstretched my hands in an attempt to push it away, wanting to explain that as much as I'd love to savor it as much as the two of them, there was no way I'd be able to keep it down for more than an hour. My hands locked around the plate with a slight hesitation after being caught under my brother's intense look of disapproval. After a moment, I sat in the chair between the boys and thanked Colton with a nod.

"These, these are great." Landon commented with his mouth still full. "I missed these things. Remind me of my childhood, man."

They laughed, but my mind didn't process what he said until after I finished nibbling a corner of a piece. I thought agreeing with him aloud may make him feel better, but decided against it when he immediately broke into another conversation with Colton.

I leaned back in my chair once I'd finished eating, resting the palms of both hands against my stomach, praying the food would stay down. It wasn't long before my thoughts overwhelmed me and I jerked forward, slamming my elbow hard against the table.

Landon's hand shot out and grasped my shoulder with a fearful look, "Ave, are you okay?"

I forced back my tears and nodded. "I'm fine. I think my arm just slipped."

I knew there was absolutely no way he believed a word that came out of my mouth, but to my relief, he didn't have any desire to push any further on the subject.

Before I could try and assure him again, he stood. He looked down at his phone with a look of frustration, running a hand through his hair.

"I hate to dine and dash, but I've got another job interview in a half hour." He smiled apologetically and kissed my forehead. "Thank you guys for dinner. I love you, Ave, feel better and I'll see you in the morning."

Colton and I exchanged a look once my brother slipped out the front door, leaving just as quickly as he'd come. Colton waited until the sound of my brother's engine roaring to life sounded through the driveway to finally turn his full attention back to me.

"I think I may have a way to help you escape your thoughts." Colton said. "But you need to eat a little more than you already have."

"What's your idea?" I whispered.

He took another bite of his quesadilla and winked. "I guess we'll have to wait and see now, won't we?"

*

I brushed my calloused thumb against the wood grain beneath my white sneaker. Colton stood over me, jogging in place, casting a long, distant look at the sun setting behind the mountains, casting an array of pale pink clouds across the sky. His sharp jaw jerked in my direction suddenly, his arm outstretched, palm out expectantly.

I gently curled his fingers back into a fist and stood without much effort, avoiding eye contact. He stood quietly at my side for a moment, eyes burning into the side of my head, before he finally spoke.

"Do you remember when you used to run with us?" he reminisced. "You never wanted to be alone, so you'd tag along. You'd smoke our asses too. You were faster than the both of us and it never seemed to phase you. I always envied that."

I wanted to smile a little at the memory, but my lips felt as if they'd been glued shut. I had spent years running alongside the boys, it'd always been a way for me to clear my head and rid myself of the anger I had toward my parents. When the boys had graduated in May, I started finding that I was making any sort of excuse possible to get out of joining them. I knew that the three of us would be going our separate ways sooner rather than later, and it was better to let go while I still could.

Colton leaned forward, shifting most of his weight onto one leg as he stretched. The action stirred me out of my thoughts and I walked down the porch steps. His hand caught my forearm halfway down the driveway and I whirled around, yanking my arm roughly from his grip and falling back a few steps to keep the distance between us.

"You sure you want to do this?" He raised an eyebrow.

I nodded. "Yeah."

Stepping on to the sidewalk, we exchanged a quick look before training our eyes at the end of the block and taking off. The first few seconds were hard; I nearly collapsed against the pavement gasping for breath. But the moment I was able to catch it, I picked up momentum and shot passed Colton. It didn't take my mind long to register the fact that I was running from myself, and as hard as I could try, I knew at some point my thoughts would catch back up with me.

I could hear Colton's heavy breathing nearing the closer I got to the community playground at the end of the street. It was no more than a small area of grass with a decent size children's playground and a swing set, but it was enough to keep most of the kids in the neighborhood occupied and out of trouble. I have one last burst of energy, losing Colton behind me, before I tripped over the high curb encasing the grassy area and nearly fell face first against a yellow fire hydrant that had become a tagging point for gang members over the last few years.

I grasped a fist full of grass in my hands, my knees digging into the hard asphalt as I tried to catch my breath. Colton finally slowed a stop behind me, resting his hands on his knees as he shook his head, far too breathless to try and speak. When he was able to stand upright again, he pulled at the soaked collar of his shirt and slipped it over his head, throwing it over his shoulder.

Now able to muster up a coherent sentence, he looked down at me. "You okay?"

I shrugged a shoulder, changing the position of my body so I could fall against the grass without slamming my head against the curb. Colton started to mutter something about me running too fast, but my eyes, and mind, drifted to the campaign sign forced into the ground a few feet away.

I'd seen Henry Marshall's face so many times over the years, I'd become accustomed to his pathetic attempts at running for office. His face and name were everywhere in town; park benches and billboards, even on a plague inside the trophy case at school. Now I saw more than a selfish middle-aged politician; I saw Kevin Marshall. In the way his father smiled, the way his blue eyes lured you, even the curve of his jawline.

It didn't seem to matter how much I wanted to escape Kevin; he was everywhere.

Colton, following my eyes to the sign, rested his hands on his bare hips and laughed. "That family is a joke."

He let his hand slip from the sweat with a chuckle. I started to climb to my feet, but my legs decided against aiding me in the endeavor and I hit the grass hard again.

I heard an intake of breath from Colton within seconds of me falling. I expected a question of my well being, but was instead faced with his wide eyes on my waist. He crouched as I tried to twist in the opposite direction, forcing my shirt back down over the scar. He stared at my side blankly for a while, and I swear, if somebody passed, they could see the gears in his head turning as they tried to process what he'd see as well as I did.

After a few minutes of absolute silence, he lifted his head and met my eyes. "You didn't do this to yourself, did you?"

It was in that millisecond that he stared at me with worry evident in every inch of his expression, on one knee at my side, that I thought about telling him everything. I wanted so desperately to explain how I'd ended up with stitches along the right side of my body-and the scars I wore beneath them.

But I did nothing except rise to my feet and whisper, "No."

***AN**

*Unedited*

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