"What's wrong?"

I slipped forward. I'd rather fight on my legs, but I would fight in the water if I needed to.

"Nothing. Everything's fine."

I tried to force myself to relax, but I couldn't. I was tense, and there was nothing I could do to force myself out of the headspace that had almost had my go fists first into the world.

"Why'd you wake me up?"

"We need to move on. Castor and I got our rest. Unless you need more—"

"I'm good to go."

Juniper nodded, seeming like she had expected that reaction. It wasn't like I could go back to sleep at this point.

I nodded, bushing my hair out of my face. It had plastered to the side of my face while I'd slept. I looked at my arms. I'd never be able to wash the sea salt off myself. I could almost swear I had been born with a thin crust of the stuff over my newborn skin.

I watched Juniper, her arms reaching up toward Castor. They made me miss Ryan. I wanted her lips to find me like that. I wanted her fire to light up the dark. I wanted her arms around me, the open sea's embrace looser than hers. I had been right to leave, but it didn't stop me from wanting to run was back.

Juniper swam next to me, not signing a word.

I was just made to be unhappy, wasn't I? Ryan didn't have a father's reassurance, and he didn't have a lover's gentle touch. It felt like I was expecting too much from the world.

It came down to one thing. Who was I? I wasn't a witch. I was a pirate, though and through. Every bone knew it.

I watched Juniper, grabbing her arm. She looked at me.

"We need to go underwater. We can't risk being seen."

We were almost in sight of the pirates of the island. I didn't want to rely on their good graces. Relying on the mercy of a pirate was like relying on a siren not to sing. I didn't want to put us under that kind of uncertainty.

"Can Castor—"

He grabbed her hands. "I'll be fine."

I nodded. Their mouths were both moving, arguing. I didn't care what they said. We would go underwater. I had a bad feeling about the surface.

I looked back. Castor took a deep breath. Juniper dove underwater, shooting forward like some invisible cannon had been waiting for her. I scoffed. I could beat her any day.

I pushed myself forward, the water pressing my hair back. I looked a fish in the eye before it was gone in an instant. I was gaining on her. She was pushing forward, her face strained with the effort.

I was breathing harder now. We were both shooting through the ocean, like we were challenging the elements themselves. I watched the ocean floor dip below us.

Juniper was monitoring Castor closely, his eyes squeezed shut. This probably wasn't as exhilarating for him. How pitiful it seemed, to be human. To be one thing and nothing more.

Of course, people didn't seem to turn green with envy when I happened upon them. They didn't know what they were missing.

Just when it seemed Castor couldn't hold his breath anymore, Juniper darted upward sharply. I drifted upward, going in lazy circles. I was in no hurry. I could breathe here.

I swam up to where Castor was.

"Where are we?"

I looked around. There was nothing around us. We were in an expanse of blue, nothing else even daring to pass the horizon. We were all alone. It was a wonderful feeling.

"We have about an hour until sunset. I know which way to go, but we'll be able to get a more precise idea once the stars are out."

Castor nodded. Night would find us soon. I welcomed it. Sirens were creatures of the night, and pirates didn't respect the sun and moon anymore than they respected anyone else.

I started forward. Castor and Juniper followed, leaving the ocean as close to still as it could ever be. I pressed forward.

We were making good time. Juniper really must have rested, because we were gaining ground faster than we had the day before.

She tapped my shoulder, passing Castor off to me. The look on their faces said they'd been talking. They'd disagreed about something, but what? I might never know. That killed me.

Castor didn't make any move to communicate with me, but he didn't seem to be communicating with Juniper either. I didn't know what to make of my companions.

I let myself get lost in my thoughts. When I finally took notice of the cold waves, the sun had set hours ago, leaving us under the cruel comfort of the stars. They'd always seemed so cold to me. So uncaring. Not that they had any reason to care.

I took a deep breath. There was a distant shore. We'd gone a little too far north. We'd hit into the island that deployed most of the anti-pirate ships. They were a small city in their own right. The night had protected us from the prying eyes of the sentries, but it wouldn't as we moved closer.

Juniper was next to me. "What do we do?"

I closed my eyes. All I could see was my mother, smiling her smile. She wore the smile of death, and beckoned, like she knew I would have to one day soon.

There had to be another way.

Castor was looking at me. He shook his head. "No."

I passed him back to Juniper.

"Do you see another way?"

He was looking at me in terror, his lips parted slightly, like the words were being taken from him faster than he could replace them.

"You can't."

"I don't want to. But we can't make it home without stopping here."

My tail was already feeling the burn of the journey. We'd be able to go if we didn't have to take Castor with us. He was heavy, even with the assistance of the water.

"No. Think about it."

"I have."

"You're a pirate, not a siren."

"I'm both, Castor. Why doesn't anyone get that? I don't have to choose."

"You can choose, though."

"Why would I want to?"

I knew the answer, deep down. I would want to shun my mom and everything she stood for. I had wanted that, once upon a time. I would've chosen my father every time. But my mother was useful. She was like the stars. Cold. Uncaring. But she was like a compass. First, I'd been able to run away. Now it was like she was calling me home.

I looked up at the sky.

"Think of something else and we'll do that."

Castor looked around frantically. He pointed. I followed his finger. It was a small boat. It looked like it would barely be big enough for five people. It was perfect.

I saw the pale silhouettes of two figures, both probably grown men. I could live with that.

I nodded. Castor looked relieved. I looked back at the city, the city he'd saved. Almost like it meant something to him.

But I didn't have time to ponder sentiments. I didn't have time for Castor's protests. I had a boat to steal. It'd make up for losing my father's skiff.  It'd be a peace offering, not that I needed one.

I stared at the ship. I wanted to take it out with my own two legs. The siren's song died before it'd ever gotten to my throat. I looked up at the stars. Not today, Mother.

I made my way toward the boat. Soon to be my boat. I wasn't sure if I'd carry the men back to shore yet. I guess it depended on how much I liked them.

I looked up at the stars. I wouldn't choose. I was Arriana, the pirate siren and I would not choose.