Ryan's hair smelled good. It overpowered the smell of smoke in an instant.

When I pulled away, all the anger melted.

Ryan moved on to the vampire, treating the fire as though it wasn't there. She seemed to walk as though she ruled the world, and for a moment, I wished she did.

Castor looked over at me.

"Don't judge J-U-D-G-E me."

He shrugged. "I'm not."

But I saw it in his eyes he was.

What's that girl doing with her life? She can't even make up her own mind.

His judgment was slightly kinder than the words I assigned to it, but the point was the same. I really couldn't make up my own mind.

Did I love or hate Ryan? The line had become beyond blurred and I was standing on it, unable to move from one side or the other.

Ryan stood over the vampire and the woman backed away. Ryan circled, looking at each of the vampires in the eye. She spoke and they all nodded, looking agreeable.

They didn't look at me like a piece of meat again, but I had no doubt the effect would wear off. I didn't want to be around when it did.

Ryan grabbed my hand and Castor followed us as we stepped through the gap between the vampires. The fire peeled back, the heat almost forming a doorway. I took a breath when I couldn't see the gleaming fangs again.

Ryan turned to Castor. "Truce?"

He didn't have to sign, but Ryan was obviously trying to show off to me. If she didn't sign, the effect would be ruined.

"What?" Castor gave me a sideways glance. He saw the showboating too.

"T-R-U-C-E."

He nodded and turned back to Ryan.

"Why do you want a truce?"

"I might have been overzealous."

He nodded. Ryan's speech must've explained the missing signs. I didn't enjoy having to fingerspell for him, but when I didn't, I felt strangely useless.

He was suspicious.

"Fine. Truce."

Ryan grinned, then looked at me with pride.

She was trying to win my trust back. I saw it clearly in her eyes.

I tried to get the old witch out of my head. That look wasn't the look of someone who only used people.

But something deep inside hardened.

"Was that so hard?"

She grinned, her arm looping through mine. "Do you forgive me? I was being a jerk." She paused. "And I'm sorry."

I stared at her and nodded. She leaned over to kiss me, but I ducked away.

"No."

She raised her eyebrows. "Friends?"

I nodded. "Friends."

But I felt it deep inside that we weren't going to end up friends.

I couldn't straddle the line between love and hate forever. I would have to pick a side, but for now, I stood on the line, even as it blurred more under my feet.

Her fingers found their way to my hand, and then we were walking down the street hand in hand. We were closer than I'd ever been to a friend.

Ryan must've felt it too, the air between us smaller than it should've been, but she didn't comment or move away. Neither did I.

Castor followed a good way behind.

I leaned against Ryan's shoulder.

"That was terrible."

She looked over at me.

"Oh, Arriana."

"They were so dead. I don't know if I can take it."

"I know." She pushed a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Do you think they would've killed me? Would I have looked like that?"

"They don't like half-human blood. I doubt they would've killed you, Arriana. Especially after they'd just eaten."

She seemed so gentle, but I remembered her sitting among them, plotting away. Had she planned their lifeless eyes or had she not thought that far ahead?

I put space between us.

"What is it?"

"You wanted this."

"And I said I'm sorry."

I rounded on her. "Are you? Honestly?"

"Of course. I hurt you. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry you hurt me, but are you sorry for what you did?"

She looked at me. "I'm not answering that."

"Are you sorry you planned it all, Ryan?"

She shook her head. "No. Gods, I thought this could work. But no, you wouldn't let it work. You couldn't let us have a nice thing."

I scoffed, glad I'd gotten the tears out when I was alone. If I'd unraveled in front of her, I'd never have forgiven myself.

I walked quickly forward. She jogged to keep up with me.

"Arriana. Arriana! We both have to put up with each other, okay?"

"But I don't want to put up with someone and I don't want someone to put up with me. We're not right, Ryan. We can't keep doing this."

"You don't know that."

"Fine, I can't do this."

She stopped, but I didn't. I walked straight past the lake. I only stopped when Castor grabbed my arm.

"Leave me alone!"

He didn't move.

I stood, each breath rattling through me. He stood still.

"Castor, leave."

"No."

"What?"

"Do you really want to be alone right now? Or are you just blowing off steam?"

"Both. Now get! Scram! Whatever."

I moved to shove him, but he grabbed my wrists.

I broke free from his grasp easily enough. He stared at me, and I kicked the wall infront of me.

"Breathe."

"You breathe."

"I am. I'm not the one K-I-C-K-I-N-G a wall."

I turned to him.

I kicked the wall again for good measure. Then I stood still. I was too tired to keep going.

"I've seen people die before. It wasn't anything new."

I was trying to reassure myself. He just stood still.

"It's always new."

"What do you know?"

"You killed most of my crew, remember?"

I glared at him. "My mother killed most of your crew."

"Same difference."

"No, not same difference."

"Fine. But even without that. I've seen death, but not like that."

I shook my head. "It's all the same, the glassy eyes, the lifelessness. The smell."

My mother hadn't been alone in murder and she'd never let the bodies linger. My father had done his best to keep me away from the murder pirates are known for, but you can only stay away from so much on a little ship.

He shook his head. "The C-O-N-T-E-X-T is different."

"They didn't do anything to help their case."

"Did that deserve death? You didn't hear their screams. It was so bad."

I didn't know what to say. "Who did you know that died?"

Maybe not the best subject change, but it took him off guard enough he excepted it.

"My mother."

"Oh."

He looked at me. "Why?"

"I couldn't stand talking about it anymore."

He nodded.

"My mother got sick and died. Me and my brother got sick too, but we both got better."

There was a finality to the statement that didn't invite any more commentary, so silence fell between us.

And we stood looking at each other for longer than was necessary, but neither of us seemed willing to leave.

Finally, I said, "You'll feel better if you talk to Juniper."

He nodded and we finally turned back to the lake.