"Although I still have my doubts, but after doing my research on different religions I have found Islam to be comparatively better than others." Sarim replied to my inquiry about his religious beliefs and I felt my eyebrows raising in wonder.

"What about you?"

"Um..I am a little religiously inclined. Striving to be actually..." I gulped down the lump stuck in my throat and resumed strolling around the drawing room, with the cellphone pressed against my ear.

"Oh, yeah. Your mother mentioned that you spend all night praying. And you're doing hifz too." He added with the slightest hint of surprise, referring to my mother's comment about me praying nawafil and reading Quran during the nights of Ramadan.

"Not all night—She might have exaggerated a bit..." My voice trailed off towards the end, as I paused to chew the inside of my cheek.

It was my second official year going through the excruciatingly torturing process of 'Rishta hunt'. By now, I had gone through more than 50 proposals and had not found even one person I liked.

My loathe for this humiliating and degrading process of selecting the right spouse wasn't a secret from my parents. Even if I said nothing, my face gave everything away. And although my parents understood where I was coming from, their hands were unfortunately tied. This was the only way they knew how to fulfill their obligation. My 3 elder sisters went through the same hell of getting presented in front of every Tom, Dick and Harry or their parents, before finally finding their Mr. Right.

One such unfortunate case was this guy I was currently talking to because my parents thought him to be a perfect match for me.

Sarim was only 5 years old when his parents had sent him to a prestigious boarding school for boys. His parents were quite well off and he was their only child. After living most of his life in the boarding school, he went to the US to pursue his graduation degree and returned to take care of the family business.

"...Last time you said you weren't fasting..." I continued in a small voice, referring to the time they came to our place the first time. It was during Ramadan and still before Iftar time when they had arrived. Dad had asked them only by the way if we needed to prepare tea, just in case they weren't fasting. To which, his mother replied that she was unable to fast because of some medical condition. That's why she 'made someone else fast in her stead to make up for them.'

After hearing that for a few moments it became really hard for me to keep a straight face. Yet, another blow came when Dad asked Sarim if he was fasting.

"I don't lie, Uncle. So, I will be honest with you. I am not fasting."

While my Dad was busy appreciating him for his honesty, I was sitting in my seat across from him and gaping at him dumbfounded, after he had elaborated that it wasn't a medical condition that was keeping him from fasting.

"Yeah. In my opinion its most important to be a good human. Praying, fasting and the rest is a personal choice." He continued smoothly and I slowly blinked at his words.

"Some of my friends would just pray for an upcoming exam, or when they were going through some difficulty they wanted ease for. I really found it hypocritical to be honest. I don't believe in this sort of pretentious worshiping." His tone was laced with a hint of annoyance. I should've told him that it's better to admit to one's helplessness, even if once in a blue moon and turning to the One who held all power; than never realising your own limitations as a mere mortal. Yet, I kept my mouth clamped shut.

"Actually, there are so many religious people I've come across who had been so observing of their religious practices, yet had questionable morals. I mean what's the use of all your prayers and sermons when you can't show common curtesy to a waiter? They are usually so full of themselves and think they have been granted a free pass to rule judgement on those who don't fall into their standard of goodness." A sigh escaped my lips at his words and I closed my eyes. I completely understood where he was coming from; yet, I didn't think he was free from error either.

Because this was where the right understanding of Islam came in. If only everyone, including those who were practicing and those who were not, knew that the standard to measure our goodness was scaled on Allah's commandments and not what we believed to be right or wrong from our extremely limited experience and knowledge; then there would never have had been a need for this whole debate in the first place.

"You're actually the first religious person whom I've met that isn't so conservative. You're practicing, yet not judgemental at all." He added with a sense of awe mixed with fondness and my mouth dropped open at his words.

"Please don't hold me to a standard. I am hardly someone you should look up to as a role-model, or a true and accurate representative of Islam. I am still struggling with the basic obligations. However, InshaAllah I plan to get there one day." I added hurriedly, suddenly feeling a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.

"Alright. If you say so." I could almost hear the smile in his voice through the phone and sensed him falling for a made up version of me in his head.

"So are you an extrovert or..?" His voice trailed off towards the end.

"I guess, I am pretty outgoing. You?" I remarked vaguely.

"Introvert! I have a very, very limited circle of friends. And I am not much of a talker." He explained and I narrowed my eyes in doubt, seeing how he had been talking nonstop for the past entire hour. But then again, it only meant that he was finding it easy to talk to me.

"Actually my only closest friend's wife lives in the street next to yours and just last month I was there for their wedding event. What a coincidence right?" He added animatedly and I sufficed to agree with him.

"What about music? What do you listen to?"

"Um..anything really. But I am trying to stop..." By now I had compiled a lot of reasons to present to my parents in order to reject Sarim's proposal. That's why I wasn't putting in much of an effort, but the poor dude was really getting into it.

"Oh. Is this also because of your religious beliefs? What about pictures and covering etc. You didn't mind sharing your picture for the marriage profile?" He inquired without any malice but I was staggered speechless.

"I-I—know it's not right—But as I said before, I am not there yet—" I stuttered without meaning to, feeling uncomfortable with the direction this was heading towards.

"So, how was college life in the US?" I made an attempt to change the topic.

"It was fun mostly. I'll be honest. I didn't focus much on studying in the start. So it really affected my GPA towards the end. But it was alright. I learned a lot. People there are usually sensitive to the emotional needs of others. I had this really good friend, Jackson. One time he made me this Pork Hamburger and I tried to refuse, but he kept insisting to give it a taste at least. So I ate it. I mean, it's not a big deal. It just food at the end of the day, right? He had made it especially for me. I didn't think it would be right to hurt him." I could say nothing in response.

"Anything else? I mean drinking—or drugs?" I became a little bolder this time and a tad bit more hopeful.

"Oh, yeah. I tried a lot of drugs actually when I was in Uni. Just out of curiosity mostly. But I don't take them anymore. I do drink though, at parties and social gatherings. Because I believe that I can hold my liquor without losing sense of myself. And that's all that matters with alcohol in my opinion." He continued evenly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world and I had to press a hand to my mouth to suppress my sense of relief and gratitude.

Even though my sixth sense had alerted me that there was something seriously amiss with this proposal; yet, I had prayed Istakhara and cried in Tahajjud the whole night asking for Allah's help. My parents loved him a lot; for all the obvious reasons and they wouldn't have had settled for just any reason to reject him. That's why I had prayed to Allah to turn Sarim's proposal away from me with khair o aafiyah in the best possible way, if he was bad for me. And as always, Allah SWT had come to my rescue in the most miraculous of ways.

"If you don't mind me asking, have you been in a relationship before?" By now I could answer this question myself. Yet, I had to ask this last thing to make my case stronger in front of my parents.

"So, there was this girl, Nataliya. We actually met on the day of orientation at the University and got along pretty well. We were in a relationship for three whole years. I had even proposed to her but she was from Nepal and her parents didn't want a Muslim son-in-law. She is married with a kid now...We are still friends and I am really happy for her." His tone was reminiscent.

"My most recent relationship was with this Pakistani girl, I'd met on Social media. Her name was Sana. She was working as a journalist. I saw one of her comments on her social account, in which she was standing up for the rights of Uyghur Muslims. I checked out her profile and then sent her a message. We chatted for a while and then talked on phone a few times. I wanted this to progress further so I asked her if we could meet up and she happily agreed to a date. I was left spellbound when I met her for the first time. But she appeared unfazed by it all. We dated for a while and then on my insistence we got engaged with both of our parents approval. But I don't know. I liked her a lot; yet, she didn't reciprocate my feelings in the same way. She wasn't ready for commitment. That's why we broke up a few months ago. And I didn't pursue her after that. I am not that sort of a person, who can't take no for an answer. I believe in showing respect to other's choices." I silently listened to it all without daring to interrupt.

"What about you?" His unexpected query caught me off guard.

"Um no. I didn't have time for that stuff. Dental school isn't easy. And I always hung out with my friends."

"Seriously? Were you not even curious?"

"What's there to be curious? Like I said before, I didn't care for this stuff. I had my hands full."

"God. I am still finding this impossible to believe." His voice was laced with surprise and I could feel my eyes rolling at his words.

"Um, so if there's nothing more—" I wanted to end the 2 hours call but he still had lots to ask.

"One last thing before we go?"

"Sure." I pursed my lips and sat down.

"What is the most important thing you consider in your future spouse?" His voice was hopeful and a voice resounded in my mind. 'Oh sweetie, everything you're not.'

We had a 6 year age gap; him being 30 years old. Yet, talking to him I couldn't help but feel like I was talking to a 16 year old teenager. Even when I was 13, I hadn't felt this lost and unsure about world and its working. I couldn't help but feel a sense of pity in my heart for him. He was really trying to be a good person, as much as he knew. But only because he had never received the proper guidance or attention from his parents and was left to fend for himself without anyone to look up to, he became so lost. It was really unfair, for he had the potential to be much more.

"If I am being completely honest?" I drawled.

"Ofcourse." His excited voice chided in.

"I consider all the basic stuff...but most importantly...I wish for a partner whose religious beliefs are in line with mine...because even if I am not there yet, my biggest priority is my relationship with my Allah and seeking His approval." I ended in a small voice and for a few moments there was silence on the other end.

"What if...someone, your partner wants to change himself to become more to your liking. I mean, I think this is how a relationship works, right? We adapt and change to accommodate eachother. I mean if it were me, I would do everything in my power to become someone who brings that person happiness." His tone was laced with hope and I felt a little prick of conscience but managed to continue unperturbed.

"Sure. All relationships are give and take. But I don't think it's right to expect someone to change themselves for you. I mean, what if that person they changed themselves for leaves? If someone wants to change, then in my opinion it should only be for a valid cause they can fall back upon when things went South; so they aren't left stranded clueless in the end." He remained quiet for a while in response to my answer.

"Your parents are going to visit the day after tomorrow, right? I think you should come too. You can meet Luca too. If there's a problem about permission I'll talk to your Dad myself." He continued in flow; referring to his beloved pet dog. Almost as if he hadn't realized that I had just now rejected him in a roundabout way.

"InshaAllah." I said and finally ended the call, silently uttering a prayer for him.

'Ya Allah. Please guide him to the straight path and me too. Verily, we are in desperate need of your guidance and help. Please don't leave us by ourselves for even a blink of eye. Ameen.'

After that, I narrated everything to my parents who were aghast at the revelation. The next day he had sent me a good morning message, followed by a few cute dentist jokes, while asking me if I had decided to come along too. But then after my parents visit, who conveyed the rejection through the matchmaker, I never heard from him again.

Assalamualaikum!!  JazakAllah Khairun for reading ☺️Hope you guys liked  it InshaAllah. Don't forget to vote ❤️❤️