"I'd rather live with the pain, than die feeling nothing at all."

- Hudson Taylor

                                                                                     ***

With a long exhale, Galloway collapsed onto Sirius' chest, trying to catch her breath. Closing her eyes, she listened, then smirked at how hard his heart was beating. Endorphins rushing through her turned the smirk into a full-blown grin, then a small laugh.

Sirius ran a clawed hand down her back, making her shiver.

"What?" he asked.

Opening her eyes to realize that the sun had made a strong appearance while she'd been otherwise occupied, she rasped, "If I'd known what I was missing out on, I might not have been so damn stubborn about it."

His chest jerked as he laughed. "Yes you would have."

She snorted, shivering as cold air prickled at her sweaty skin, and leaned into the front seat. Sirius put a hand on her waist, keeping her from falling over as she snagged his shirt. After tugging it on, she folded forward again to rest her head right over his heart. 

With a deep sigh, he dragged his fingers through her tangled hair, the gentle tugging sensation inspiring another shudder. "What made you decide?" he asked.

Biting at the tender skin of her lower lip, she said, "I don't know."

"Yes you do," he rebuked. "You don't do anything unless you have a why."

She scoffed, tracing over a serpentine scar on his lower ribcage. Still feeling too good to actually be irritated, she said, "It was just what I'd told you earlier. Once Caleb brought up the possibility that I have to keep my Soul and that it needs to be marked instead of lost, then the fact that you can't leave a mark on my Soul, well..."

"Well what?" he asked.

She looked up. "Well, I didn't see the point in denying what I've wanted for... how long have we known each other?"

He tilted his head in consideration, then shrugged. "Year and change? I don't know, I don't really count by years anymore."

"Feels like longer," she muttered, laying her head back down. "Believe it or not, saying no was just as tiring as always hearing it."

Now he scoffed, but it didn't sound like he meant it, which surprised her. His tone so somber it was almost comical in comparison with how she was feeling, he said, "You know I meant everything I said last night, don't you?"

Swallowing against her suddenly dry mouth, Galloway sat back up to look at him. 

"It might not mean a whole lot," he said, gaze never wavering. "I'm not... I don't have any experience with actually caring about someone or," he released a reluctant breath, "anything. But for what it is or isn't worth, I do."

Carefully, he rolled them until she was looking up at him. He hovered over her, propped up on his elbows. There was a long moment of silence as he waited for an answer, then a small growl slipped between his teeth, making him grimace. Lowering his head until his mouth pressed into her collarbone, he muttered, "Just ignore me. I don't understand how this works."

Shaking herself out of her daze, she placed a hand against his cheek, making him look up. "I think I do know. It's just that it scares me."

He put his head down again, lips on her throat, the rest of his body pressing into hers and she suddenly hated that she'd decided to put his shirt on. Carding her fingers through his thick hair, she grimaced at the whip marks marring the skin of his back. 

"I'm just not sure that things like you and I get a happy ending."

Sirius didn't say anything, and she knew he thought she was right.

Wishing fiercely that they could just stay like this for a little while longer and pretend nothing was out there waiting for them, she pushed at his chest. After a stubborn moment, he let her up, reluctantly taking his shirt back from her.

Pulling her clothes on, she waited until he had done the same, then crawled into his lap. Her knees on either side of his legs, she looked down at him, brushing his messy hair away from his face. Sirius put his hands on her hips and she bent her head, kissing him as hard as she dared.

Already, she was considering that they might not be able to do this again. Possibly for a while.

She pulled away when his fingers started flirting with the hem of her shirt. With a small smile, she slipped out of the car, the pines whispering around her. Leaning against the car, she closed her eyes, thinking.

The door on the other side of the car opening made her turn her head. She didn't open her eyes as Sirius brushed her hair aside, his breath cool against her ear. After a moment, she turned her face toward him and he kissed her.

His movements still said he wanted every bit of her, but weren't as demanding as they'd been before. Finally, he rested his forehead against hers. "I don't need a happy ending," he said.

She opened her eyes, and he pulled away to look down at her. Ruefully, he wound a piece of her hair around his index finger, thumb brushing over the silky strands. "I just need to be with you here. Now. And for as long as I can manage before they punch my ticket."

"That's not exactly comforting," she said quietly. That thought was enough to send a bolt of icy fear through her.

"It's honest, for once. We'll run until we can't, or until we can stop," he replied, then kissed her once more.

"Okay," she mumbled. "But until then, what do we do?"

He huffed out an exasperated laugh and mint danced across her tongue. "Like you said, we do what we've been doing. We go where Theron tells us to, we don't miss any collections and we stay under the radar. But, you know, with sex now."

She punched his chest lightly, then smiled, shaking her head. Folding her arms and leaning back, she said, "You know sex doesn't magically make everything better, right?"

He opened his mouth, looking like he wanted to argue, then shrugged and said, "Doesn't make it worse, though."

Galloway tried to stifle a smile, turning her head away before she gave up and rolled her eyes. Sobering, she turned to peer into the car, scanning the interior. She was looking for a manila folder, but her attention was caught by something else.

Straightening, her eyes still glued to the backseat, she asked, "What is that?"

Sirius placed his hands on her hips, then looked over her shoulder, following her gaze. He grew very still. Very carefully, he removed his hands and stepped back. By the time she'd turned around, he'd retreated five or six feet, well out of swinging range. 

Holding his hands up in surrender, he said, "Could have been worse. Could have been you. What's worse, teeny punctures or blood?"

"There are claw marks in there, Sirius," she said. "Claw. Marks."

He pointed an accusatory finger at her. "I said find a motel. You're the one with the thing about cars. That's on you." He took another unconscious step back. "Would you have preferred I scratched the hell out of you?"

She frowned, considering that, then looked at the claw marks puncturing the upholstery. "Why couldn't you just keep them put away?"

Giving her a disgusted look, he said, "My mind was on other things. Besides..." He paused, then unbuttoned his shirt. Tugging it down, he turned to show her several bright red lines across his back. "You didn't seem too concerned about not scratching me."

"I didn't hear you complaining," she retorted, then sighed, nodding. He had a point that the car had been her idea.

Sirius gave her a suspicious look as he shugged his shirt back on, and she held up one hand, placing the other on her heart. "Scout's honor. I won't kill you."

Still cautious, he edged closer, then peered into the car again. "It is your fault, though," he said, shaking his head.

"Don't push it," she warned.

With a disgruntled sigh, he leaned against the car, crossing his arms. "What are we doing now?"

"I guess Theron really meant it when he said we could head home. I was looking to see if he'd sent us an assignment, but he hasn't yet. So we might as well go. I want to see if they've come up with anything new and exciting, and I'm tired of talking about it over the phone."

I also want to see Logan, she thought, but didn't think Sirius would care overmuch for that sentiment. She needed to talk to her friend even if she was just asking for a lecture.

His stomach growled loudly enough for her to hear, breaking her out of her thoughts and making her grin. Walking around to the driver's side, she got in. When he did the same, she said, "But first, breakfast."

Sirius nodded fervently as she guided the car back to the main road. When she was no longer having to concentrate on the road, she gave him a dubious side-eye. "You complain an awful lot, you know that? What kind of guy doesn't like car sex?"

He wrinkled his nose, giving her a dirty look. "The kind who has claws and risks getting disemboweled when he accidentally tears the upholstery," he said, then smirked. "If you weren't such a freak about your cars, I'd toss up the fact that you have an entire warehouse full of them."

A laugh escaped before she could stop it and she bit her lip. The idea held a certain appeal, but all she said was, "I don't think we have that kind of free time available to us."

Sirius gave a long-suffering sort of sigh, digging his sunglasses out of the glovebox as the sun hit them full in the face. She lowered the visor to shield her own eyes. 

"Besides, we still need to be careful," she said. He raised an eyebrow and she pursed her lips before saying, "Theron still likes to pop in on us. We have to make sure he doesn't catch us."

"Ugh, now I feel like a teenager." Mockingly, he muttered, "Don't let Dad catch us." Then he sighed. "Maybe one of your witches can come up with some kind of demon alarm. Or the Hunter."

"Logan, Rhys, Caleb." When he snarled softly, she said, "Why can none of you say each other's names? You all know that doesn't like magically, irreversibly make you all friends, right?"

"We just have to work together, for your sake," he reminded her. "We don't have to like each other. We don't even have to be civil."

She dug her phone out from where it had fallen between the seats and dialed Logan. Opening her mouth to respond to him, she immediately had to stop when Logan answered.

"Hey. So, I think I might be back by this afternoon. Is it okay to come by?" she asked and Sirius turned to look out the window.

"Since when do you ask?" Logan said. "Yeah. Come help dig us out of the one million and fifty two books Rhys has buried us in."

She laughed. "Sure. Okay. Hey, has Caleb left yet?"

"Left?" Logan asked. "No, he's still asleep. I think."

Galloway frowned, then remembered how he'd said he had been running on low sleep. "Okay," she said slowly. "Just have him give me a call before he leaves."

Still sounding a little confused, Logan said, "Sure thing?"

"What did you want to tell the Hunter?" Sirius asked after she had ended the call.

"I'm not answering until you say his name," she said.

"Then I guess I don't care that much," he returned. Turning back to the road, Galloway waited, then smiled when he sighed. Sounding aggrieved, he said, "What did you need to tell Caleb?"

"See? Won't burn a hole through your tongue." She shook her head. "I just wanted to tell him something my dad taught me, just in case he doesn't know. Most Hunters don't."

She pulled into a small diner and as they walked in, Sirius asked, "What would that be?"

Galloway held up a finger, signaling for him to wait until they'd ordered. After that, she leaned across the table. "He needs to wear long sleeves and gloves when he's dealing with wraiths."

Sirius blinked slowly. "Okay?"

Pouring a little sugar into her coffee, she said, "When wraiths touch you, they can literally give you a dose of crazy. And if they give you a strong enough one, your brain will turn to mush."

"What?" Sirius said after a moment of silence. "No they can't."

She laughed under her breath. "My dad experienced it, before he married Mom. Obviously not enough to turn his brain to mush."

"Huh," Sirius said thoughtfully. "You'd think people would know something like that."

"Since most people don't hunt solo, even if they get touched, the wraith gets killed almost immediately after they're exposed." She shrugged. "Dad didn't get the chance. The thing slipped away and he got arrested for attacking what everyone else thought was a young woman."

"So killing the wraith gets rid of the crazy?" he asked.

They fell silent as their food was delivered and Galloway ignored how the other woman gave her a knowing look. Half-heartedly she ran a hand through her hair in an attempt to tame it, but gave it up as a lost cause when she looked at her reflection in the window and saw the small cut on the side of her mouth, most likely from his teeth.

Sirius smirked, looking down at his plate.

Quickly, she said, "Basically, yeah. Dad got lucky. One of the cops who'd arrested him had seen the thing's face in the mirror of his car. Freaked him out and he believed Dad when he managed to explain what it was. He went out and killed it, then helped Dad bust out of jail."

"You have such a weird family history," Sirius said contemplatively. Catching her offended look, he said, "I mean, relatively. I'm sure that's par for the course for Hunters."

She flipped him off which made him grin before he took a bite of bacon. They ate in silence after that, then left. As they walked out, Sirius slid his hand into her pocket, taking the keys.

Tracing a finger under her left eye, over what she was sure was a dark shadow, he said, "Why don't you sleep."

After a moment of her body begging her to do as he said, she relented and crawled into the back, using his jacket as a pillow. She was asleep almost immediately, the motion of the car lulling her into oblivion.

                                                                                 ~~~

"Do you want me to just take you to the witch's?" Sirius' question pulled her out of the in-between of not quite awake, but not quite asleep and she sat up. Looking around, she found they were closer to her apartment than they were to Logan's.

Catching sight of herself in the rearview mirror, she grimaced and shook her head. "No, take me home first."

Sirius snorted and she rolled her eyes, crawling into the front seat. She turned to him, then pressed her lips together as an evil thought crossed her mind. Suppressing a grin, she scooted to the edge of her seat, leaning across the space between them.

He hissed when she bit at the side of his neck before tracing her tongue over where her teeth had been. His body tensed and he said, "You shouldn't start something you don't intend to finish."

She smiled against his throat. "Who said I don't intend on finishing?"

He looked down at her, one eyebrow very intrigued. "What happened to we have to be careful so Theron doesn't catch us?"

Galloway shrugged, sitting back. "I remembered that, apparently, Hell doesn't actually revolve around me, according to Theron. He already said he'll send us the next assignment, I'm pretty sure that means he can't or won't come up here for now."

Sirius opened his mouth, then seemed to realize he was arguing against his own interests. With a grin, he said, "Okay." Then he frowned. "Just not while I'm driving."

"Why? Because it's distracting?" she deadpanned.

He looked at her, then back toward the road. "I believe I see your point."

Galloway snickered, finally catching sight of her apartment building. Sirius parked and she got out, walking slowly to the door, then laughed when he pushed her along, hands nudging at her lower back.

As soon as they were in her apartment, he pressed her against the wall near the door, but she placed a hand over his mouth. Standing on her toes to whisper in his ear, she said, "I need a shower."

"Uh-huh," Sirius said, already pulling her in that direction.

Afterwards, he lay sprawled out on her bed, watching her get dressed through sleepy eyes. Tugging her still damp hair out of her collar, she looked at him and asked, "Are you sure you want to stay? Logan might have come up with something."

"All of which I'm sure you'll tell me," he murmured, closing his eyes and burrowing farther into her pillows. "Don't take long."

She raised an eyebrow and, like he could feel the expression, he explained, "I don't like it when you're gone."

The words were so blatantly selfish she wondered if he had meant for them to sound that way. Then she realized she didn't really care. She was just as greedy as he was.

She flipped the pillow off his head. His pupils were dilated as he looked up at her and she let out a small yelp when his hand shot out and snagged her wrist, pulling her down to him. She kissed him before pulling away, skittering back to the door. "No! I have to go."

He wrinkled his nose, then rolled onto his side. Face hidden by a pillow, he muttered, "Worth a shot."

She turned the lights out. "I'll be back later. Call me if a folder shows up."

He made some sort of noncommittal noise, and she fished through the pockets of her dirty jeans to grab her keys. Skipping down to the car, she couldn't stop a stupid grin from spreading over her face. Inserting the key, she unlocked the door, then froze. The uncomfortable tingling sensation of being watched shivered over her.

Opening the door, she looked up to find Sirius leaning against the window, watching her as she left. Frowning, she got in and pulled out, eager to get to Logan's.

The feeling of being watched was chalked up to Sirius and she turned the radio up as she drove.

It didn't take long to get to Logan's, and she parked on the side of the wide street. She sat for a moment, then decided she might as well face the music now and get it over with. Pulling her hair into a brisk ponytail, she locked the car, then shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat as she trudged up the walkway.

The door was unlocked and she let herself in. The low murmur of voices led her to the kitchen where she found the brothers deep in conversation over a book that looked too new to be of any use. They both stopped and looked up at her when she leaned against the door frame.

Galloway debated on sitting in one of the kitchen chairs and letting them Kitty-and-Red her, lecturing about responsibility. Then she decided she preferred a quick escape route.

Rhys stretched, running his hands through his hair. Standing, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, tapping rapidly at the screen. She watched as he put the phone on the table, then scowled when the first few chords of Night Moves drifted through the room.

Folding her arms, she wrinkled her nose. "Cute, Rhys, really. But if you must know, I'd say it was more early this morning. And we weren't in a Chevy."

Logan immediately clapped his hands over his ears, shaking his head. "Please don't."

She flung herself into the nearest chair, reaching across the table to hit pause on the song. With a sigh, she curled her fingers at them. "Okay. Hit me with it."

Logan sat down, leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees, his fingers twining themselves together nervously. Or maybe angrily. Galloway wouldn't be sure until he opened his mouth. Deciding to start this herself, she asked, "How'd you even know?"

"You've got 'I just had sex' hormones throwing their own little party in your brain," Rhys said, leaning back in his own chair. "I'm surprised I didn't know as soon as you got within a three mile radius."

"Can you read someone that far away?" she asked, still looking at Logan.

"Depends on how well I know them," Rhys said. "Logan, you wanna chime in here?"

Logan shrugged. "What the hell am I going to say?"

He looked up at her and she was shocked to see nothing in his eyes. Not disappointment or sadness or anything, except resignation. He gave her a humorless smile. "You make your choices, Galloway. I try to stop you and it doesn't matter. Hunting, the Hound, whatever. Is this what you want?"

For a moment, her mouth hung open, speechless. Then she closed it and nodded slowly. Swallowing against her dry throat, she rasped, "He can't leave a mark on my Soul."

Logan snorted in disgust. "You think that's the only problem here?"

"Well...it is for me," Rhys said, giving his brother an odd look. 

Logan stood up suddenly, slamming his hands into the table and making them both jump. Galloway stared up at him with wide eyes.

Putting his hands behind his head, Logan paced away from them, then whirled around. "If you get caught, they will filet you," he hissed. "You said so yourself. You told me that months ago. So line it out for me. What exactly has changed here?"

Unable to help it, her eyes flicked to Rhys and the witch barked out a harsh laugh. "She thinks he loves her."

Her mouth thinned into a tight line, but she looked down. Actually, she wasn't too terribly sure about that. But she did know that she loved him.

At that, Rhys gave her a startled look that shifted into something much too close to pity. She scowled at him, shaking her head. She didn't need anyone's pity, least of all his.

Logan sat down again, looking completely at a loss. 

Blinking hard, she said, "I'm tired of living afraid, Logan. I'm tired. We're doing what we can to make it as safe as possible, but..." She gusted out a wretched laugh. "We all know how this ends. I'm... I'm a damn Hunter who works for Hell. If Hell doesn't take me, then someone like Caleb will find me, except they'll put me down."

Both witches looked at her, Logan paling. Shaking her head, she said, "You both know, maybe even better than I do, what this year has done to me. And...these past weeks, especially, have shown me what I don't want to lose and it turns out that my life is not at the top of that list."

Logan looked down, his thick lashes screening the emotions his eyes might have betrayed. Rhys, for his part, stared at her, thoughts completely hidden. Galloway blinked hard against the burning in her eyes. This was not what she'd been expecting and she hadn't been prepared.

Slowly, she stood up, then knelt down in front of Logan. He didn't look up until she grabbed his hands. Automatically, his fingers curled around hers, loosening the stranglehold fear had on her heart. She watched his Adam's apple move as he swallowed, then he asked, "Why? What changed?"

With a deep inhale, she looked at the ceiling, then at him. "I remembered that just because Hell has a contract, doesn't mean it has proprietary rights. My contract requires that I collect—"

"It requires that you follow the rules," Logan snapped, interrupting her.

"It said if I was caught I would have to willingly face whatever punishment Theron came up with." Looking at Rhys, she gave him a grim smile. "Mom might have taught Eamon Greek, but I got Latin. At least, enough to understand what I was signing."

"If you were caught," Rhys repeated, making Logan look at him.

"The wording doesn't matter, Rhysland," he hissed. "It still poses the same problem."

"You can't protect me, Lo," she said as gently as she could, but he flinched anyway. Softening her tone even more, she said, "I'm tired of jumping at every shadow. I used to be brave. I want to be that again, and I'm not letting that one decision strip away the person my parents raised completely."

"You were eight when you left them," Logan protested.

She cupped his face, making him glower at her. Smiling weakly, she said, "It was enough. If Hell wants me, they'll be in for a fight and until then, I'm going to take what belongs to me."

"The Hound?" Rhys scoffed.

She grinned, the expression sharp. "For one. And I'm going to get my Soul back, for another."

"Oh?" Rhys asked, his tone condescending. "How do you plan on doing that?"

"With leverage," she said, standing up. "We're going to figure out how to lock the gates, then I'm renegotiating my Deal with Theron."

They looked at her in dumbfounded silence. She had to admit that even she was a little surprised, but the idea had been brewing since she'd told Sirius she wanted to find a way to close the gates.

"And what about using you for the spell?" Logan asked quietly, but his face was less pale.

She let out a small laugh. "Well," she sighed, tucking an escaped wisp of hair back, "I guess I just don't do anything that will stain my Soul."

"Solid plan," Rhys huffed, snatching the book he'd been looking at off the table and stalking from the room. "I guess I've got more research to do."

As soon as he was gone, a new kind of silence descended in the kitchen, and she watched apprehensively as Logan stood up. She was almost shocked when he pulled her into a tight hug, but after a moment her arms came up, clinging to him.

"Don't let him get you killed," Logan whispered.

Rubbing her face against the sweater he was wearing, she smiled and said, "Aw, come on, Lo. You know the only one who can kill me is me."

"God, how I wish that were the truth." Logan sighed, squeezing her tight one more time before he let her go. Nimble fingers were placed under her chin, tilting her head back to look at him. "For the record, I think this is the second stupidest thing you've ever done."

She closed her eyes, smiling slightly, then nodded her agreement.

Taking a step away from him, she heaved out a great breath. "So is Caleb still crashed out upstairs, or did he leave?"

Logan frowned, then shrugged. "He's like a cat. Just comes and goes when he gets the itch. I don't ask. He might be upstairs, he might be in Tulsa for all I know."

"I didn't see his truck outside," she observed, then stood on her toes to kiss Logan's cheek. Shaking her head as she started toward the stairs, she said, "I won't promise it'll be okay. But I feel okay."

Logan nodded curtly, and she knew that was the most approval she could hope for.

She trudged up the stairs, thankful that Caleb, at least, hadn't been conscious or present enough to put in his two cents. The conversation had drained her despite it being less lengthy than she'd expected, but she also felt a sense of relief that everything was out in the open.

Walking past the room Rhys was staying in, Galloway tapped on the closed door of what she assumed was Caleb's room. When there was no answer, she cautiously cracked the door open, then stepped inside when she found it empty.

She heard Rhys shout that he was leaving and Logan swear to actually turn him into a goldfish if he didn't come back. The front door slammed and she took a few more steps into the dim space, nothing but the smell of Old Spice lingering in the room.

With a sigh, she dug her phone out and dialed Caleb.

She froze when she heard a phone ring. Moving the pillow it had been stuffed under, she hung up, then stared down at Caleb's cell, perplexed. Picking it up, she turned the bedside lamp on, intending to sit on the made bed.

Both phones slipped from her grasp when she found a manila folder waiting for her.

Wondering why Theron had sent it to her here, she picked it up and stared blankly at the page glaring up at her for an uncomprehending moment.

Then, the paper slipped from her numb fingers, fluttering to the ground.