Chapter Four (Luka)

I concentrated hard, staring through the water that rained down on my head as I stood in the shower of my very own bathroom. I had my own bathroom and my own room that looked more like the living room back at home. It was nice, but the bed was too tempting. I decided to shower before heading downstairs to find something to occupy my time.

The Blood Rain territory spread very far and completely engulfed Moonstone and touched parts of Rosemary as well. No surprise, having listened to Kasper praise them the whole way here.

I shook my head, tilting it up toward the shower as the water sprinkled on my face, making me sigh as the shower box steamed up. I turned, resting my back against the wall as I ran my hands through my hair, peeking my eyes open past the water to stare at the wall.

Don't sleep.

Can't sleep.

Stay awake.

If you fuck up so much as once here, Luka, Kasper will be embarrassed and Gavin will be angry. Then what kind of butler would I be then? What kind of servant would I be then? I shook my head and shut the water off, stepping out and drying off. I ignored my reflection as I walked into the bedroom, holding the towel in front of me as I moved completely unabashed of my nakedness when I was alone.

I threw open the wardrobe where I'd put my uniforms. I reached in, taking one out and giving it a flick to clean it off before I changed. I buckled my pants up and buttoned up the white shirt before slipping the black blazer on, buttoning it. I slid the tie on before tucking it into the blazer, pausing to frown at my reflection in the mirror on the door of the wardrobe.

However, I wasn't looking at myself.

At least, not the way I wanted people to see me.

My eye sockets were empty, my real eyes having decayed long ago. My skeleton wasn't white or pure, but caked in dirt and blood. My hair was gone, with only little strands stuck to my skull. I cringed and shut the door quickly before turning around, taking a deep breath before I left my room, pulling my gloves on.

The house was relatively quiet now, surprisingly, as night had come around. A pack had gone out to hunt for food while visiting members were now asleep in their rooms. I moved silently down the stairs, listening for any signs of someone in the kitchen, but it seemed empty. I peeked inside and was relieved to find that the coffee pot was still plugged in.

I walked over, starting up another cup before I began to walk around the table at the center of the room to keep myself awake.

Can't sleep.

What am I supposed to do to keep myself awake? There was no one to order me around at night. The wolves, though they were, even kept their house rather clean and I couldn't impose on them like that. Should I just go outside?

The air was cold.

The cold would keep me awake, wouldn't it?

I nodded to myself matter of factly, bumping my fists together to keep myself moving as I paused to stare out the side door. It was dark outside and the window fogged up as I breathed on it. I looked away as the smell of hot coffee filled the air. I shut the machine off, getting another mug and filling it with coffee. I didn't even bother with sugar or cream, just gulped the whole thing down, my finger tips cooling it slightly.

I set the mug down, breathing hard and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand before I went to the door, stepping outside. I was met with a blast of bitter cold wind that I breathed in deeply, shutting the door behind me as I stepped outside. My cheeks and nose already burned from the cold, but it was enough to keep me awake, so I kept walking.

My shoes crunched on the crispy cold leaves as I made my way across the large side yard that rounded into the backyard where a couple of swings sat chained to a tree branch that stuck out from the woods. I walked over, touching the chains. I could feel the cold even through my gloves.

I sighed and plopped down onto the swing, listening to it squeak. I lifted my head to stare up at the branch, the leaves having fallen to the ground. Then I felt something wet on my nose. I blinked a couple times and I was surprised to see a couple snowflakes hit my nose.

Snow?

This far south?

Well, I suppose it made sense. The weather had become very strange since my time. My world was more structured and less chaotic when it came to weather patterns. We had no pollution permeating the air, destroying what the Goddess had worked hard to give us. Our homes were made of brick or cement. My cottage back in my homeland was very small and made of wood and mud that had to constantly be replaced.

But my cottage didn't last long.

It eventually fell apart. I didn't know how to take care of it on my own and the villagers pretended I didn't exist. Out of guilt, I knew as I walked the streets, much thinner than I was before my parents died. I still hadn't learned how to cook or prepare any kind of food, so I was picking grass and plants that I had seen in my mother's scrolls. The ones she put red dots by that meant they were safe. But I couldn't live on plants all my life. My stomach clenched and ached with hunger and I tried stealing food, but I was beat for it.

That was the only attention they gave me.

Otherwise, walking through town, they turned away from me. I saw the guilt in their eyes as they averted them from me, digging their teeth into their lower lips. Women turned their backs, tending to their children, who tried to get a good look at me past their mother's hands. Men just looked away and paid attention to more important things, like the next customer or their sheep.

They didn't care that my stomach was growling obnoxiously. They didn't care that my skin was starting to stretch over my bones or that my shoes had long since been torn apart, rendering them useless. This in turn made my feet filthy and bruised from stumbling around shoeless.

I hated these people, I really did. They were mindless drones and they weren't following a good man. A man who called himself a preacher. What was a preacher? What did he preach?

I stumbled into the town square, where my parents had been burned just months before. I watched the preacher man stand at the head of the crowd, holding his finger up toward the sky, indicating some sort of light. I lifted my eyes and squinted against the vicious sunlight that poured down on us, warming the village.

"Praise the Light and Its Glory! We have gone months without Shadow! Months without failure! Praise be the Light that protects us and shields our children from the Abomination! Come, my brothers and sisters! Let us speak the holy prayers to the Light!" He announced, the crowd murmuring and clasping their hands together tightly.

I frowned, waiting as everyone ducked their heads, murmuring repeats of the preacher's words. He then began what he called the Holy Gifts. He would ask people to approach and would place his hands upon their head, whispering prayers. He occasionally gave out food as well, handing out apricots and nuts and loaves of bread.

I watched as a crooked old crone came forward, collecting a loaf of bread and an apricot. She'd passed through the village more than twice before. She hobbled on a leg that was held straight with a tree branch. Her back was hunched and her body was old, but not ugly. She must have been beautiful when she was young. Her white hair hung in pearly curls around an aging face, her blue eyes peering out from under her hood.

I nibbled my lower lip, watching her hold the loaf and fruit close to her. My stomach screamed in pain and I ground my teeth together.

No one took pity on me.

Why should I take pity on them?

I rushed forward, shoving a couple children aside, making them cry out in pain and anger as I ran toward the crone. I moved faster than any of the adults as they reached out to trip me or yell at me for harming their children. I slid across the dirt and snatched the bread from the old crone, whose eyes flashed and followed me as I bolted away into the woods, hearing the crowd yell angrily after me.

I didn't go to my cottage.

It was hardly a cottage anymore.

The roof had caved in during a storm and the bed was gross and filthy now, beyond repair. I stumbled and tripped through the trees and bushes, breathing hard as my stomach shrieked with joy. I ran for what felt like ages before I finally fell into the grassy forest floor on my knees. I didn't even rip the bread into pieces or eat slowly.

I was too hungry.

I bit into the loaf, ripping it apart and devouring the staleness of it. I didn't care. I was hungry. So hungry that it hurt. I hurriedly ate the loaf, ignoring the clenching pains in my stomach. I licked the crumbs off my fingers and even stooped to lick them off the grass and my tattered shirt. I panted hard, licking my lips as I quickly looked around for something to drink.

I heard a trickle and rose to my feet, following it in hopes of finding a stream.

No stream, no river, but a woman.

She was standing over a bucket of water and two wooden cups sat beside it. She was very young, and very pretty. Her hair was the color of the leaves during Mabon, gold and yellow, like the great Light in the sky while her eyes were as blue as the very sky that surrounded the Light. She wore a pretty rich lady's dress that hung down to her ankles where gold bracelets jingled, matching the ones on her wrists. Gold hung from her ears and there was even gold in the necklaces she wore.

My eyes widened as the woman looked up at me. She didn't ignore me like the other women in the village. Instinct told me to run back, but for some reason, my legs carried me forward until I was standing right in front of her, staring up at those blue eyes. She smiled.

"Hello, little one. My, you look very thirsty. Would you care for some water?" She asked, then knelt down and picked up a wooden cup, dipping it into the bucket before handing it to me. I timidly took it from her hands and gulped it down while watching her over the rim. She just stared at me with a gentle smile as I lowered the cup, licking my lips.

"What is your name, sweetling?" She asked. I stared at her, licking my lips.

"Luka." I answered flatly. She smiled, tilting her head a little.

"Luka. Such a pretty name." She commented. I scrunched up my nose, tightening my little hands on the wooden cup.

"I'm a boy." I retorted, making her laugh. Her laugh sounded like music and made my eyes widen in awe as she reached out, making me flinch for a second until I realized she was tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Aye, but boys can be pretty also, sweetling. Tell me, Luka... Where is your mummy and daddy?" She asked, glancing behind me for a moment. I frowned.

"They caught on fire." I replied. She blinked and her expression suddenly became sad. I stared at her as she studied my face, her blue eyes round and sad as she reached out, brushing her knuckles against my cheek.

"I am very sorry. It must hurt."

"Not for me, but I think it hurt them." I answered, confused. She smiled sadly still. Why was she sad? I'd never seen anyone sad for my parents before. It was strange and seeing her sad almost made me sad as she continued to stroke my cheek with her knuckles.

How soft, I thought as she touched my cheek.

"I suppose so," She murmured at last, smiling gently, "Well... You must be very lonely... Would you like to come home with me?" I stared at her and dropped the cup, immediately stepping away from her. I didn't like the sound of that. She was very nice, yes, but so were the villagers when my family moved here from our previous home when I was still a baby. This was wrong, somehow.

"I have a home." I snapped. The woman blinked, then smiled.

"Of course... Are you living alone, sweetling?" She asked, rising to her feet and picking up the bucket in one hand. I frowned, twiddling my fingers as she held the bucket with ease, reaching down and picking up one of the cups. I went to pick up the other cup, but I was stunned as it lifted itself out of the grass, placing itself inside the cup in the woman's hand. I jerked my head up to stare at her as she studied me.

"How'd you do that?" I asked in awe.

"Magic." She replied. I suddenly didn't feel so uneasy anymore. She used magic, just like my parents did. And she wasn't being mean to me, like the villagers.

"My parents used that," I exclaimed, stepping up to her to peer into the cups in her hands as she smiled, "They made the broom dance for me one time too! They lit the wax that the wax maker gave them for Yule one year! Do you have wax too? Can you make fire appear?" She beamed.

"Yes. I have wax in my home. Would you like to see?" She asked. I nodded eagerly as she gestured for me to follow and I obeyed, scurrying after. We walked through the woods, picking our way carefully until we seemed to emerge from our territory and into new territory that I had never seen before.

It was colder, but it was prettier. So many trees surrounded a nice cottage where smoke spurt from a stick on top. What was that? I didn't ask as the woman opened the door and led me into a very nice smelling house.

It smelled like cinnamon and apricots. In fact, an apricot was sitting on the wooden table in the center of the kitchen area. Wooden counters ran around with jars upon jars of treats and herbs, so many more than my parents could ever have. She walked to the table, setting the bucket down and taking an apricot off the table, handing it to me.

"Here you go, sweetling. You forgot to grab this." She said. I took it from her without thinking for a moment before my eyes widened and I stared at her. She smirked and held a finger to her lips, standing up straight.

"You... You're so pretty now. Why aren't you old?" I asked, confused as she went to the jars, picking up a couple and bringing them to the table with a wooden bowl and spoon. She sat down, patting the seat beside her. I hesitated before hopping up beside her.

"I can look any way I want."

"With magic?"

"Aye."

"Really?! I wanna do that too!" I exclaimed, biting into the apricot as the juices ran down my chin, making the woman laugh as she shook her head.

"You have to die first, my sweet, but that won't happen for a very long time." She added with a shrug as she opened the jars, taking a bit of each out and placing it into the bowl. I sat on my knees, leaning on the table to get a better look as she began to grind the ingredients with her spoon.

"Why do you have to die first?"

"There's a big difference between what I am and what I was."

"I don't understand."

"You will, sweetling. Just sit and listen because I will teach you to do the things you wish to do, do you understand me, Luka?"

"Yes, miss..."

"Call me Kira, sweetling."

"Yes, Kira."

She had spent years showing me everything. How  to cook, how to clean, how to use magic, how to speak correctly, how to read. She made up for what my parents could no longer do... I didn't even know anything about her, this Kira. She just told me what to do and I did it without question. She became my guardian. She knew what was best for me, so why would I question her request one day?

Knelt in the garden, my knees dirty from rolling around in the dirt as I pulled the weeds out, Kira came out of the cottage, her hands folded neatly in front of her, but her expression grim in a way that told me she was upset about something. I looked up, wiping my face only to smear dirt on my cheeks.

I was fifteen then. My hair was cut neatly by Kira with her athame, a dagger that was solely for rituals, however, we had lost our knife in the stream a while ago, so there was no getting around it. I had finally gotten new clothes after two years, a loose white shirt and brown trousers that went to my knees and leather boots covered my feet.

"What is it, Kira? You look sad." I added with a frown. Kira shook her head slowly before smiling down at me, placing a hand on my head.

"Luka, my sweetling... Do you love me?" She asked. I blinked, staring up at her.

"Uh, eh, yes... Yes, I love Kira." I answered hesitantly, confused by what she meant by this. She stooped down, kissing my forehead.

"Then, Luka... my darling little flower, could you do Kira a favor?"

"Yes, Kira."

"There is a man... He's a cruel tyrant. A very cruel tyrant indeed. He's overrunning our lands, taking them over in the name of Rajin. He's threatening to destroy our homelands, my little dove. And there is only one way to stop a man like him."

"Kira?" I asked, still confused as she locked eyes with me. So much power in those old blue eyes of hers, enough to have me sinking into them and obeying without question as she murmured...

"My darling, my sweetling, my love, please... Kill this man."

She asked me. I couldn't disobey her orders.

Why should I?

She took care of me. She fed me. She clothed me. She bathed me. She did what no one else could or wanted to do. She was my mother. She was the Goddess personified. I could never hurt her or disobey her. I was her child, I was her servant, I was her toy, her puppet, her everything. So I did what she said and found the man called Misha, the man who conquered in the name of his leader, Rajin.

The halls of his extravagant palace was so dark...

So very dark and cold...

I suddenly felt hands on me. I gasped at the feel of them touching my body, grabbing and clawing at every part of me. I felt myself choking on a gag in my mouth, a round rubber gag. I tried to reach up and rip it off, but my arms were wrapped around myself in... a straitjacket?

Oh shit.

Oh god, damn it!

No!

The straitjacket was powerful enough to keep my arms around me, unable to move as the hands wandered my body experimentally, stroking me and pulling at me. I whimpered, tilting my head back until a pair of wet lips fell on my throat. I tried to turn my head the other way, but a hand grabbed my jaw and forced my face toward him. I couldn't see through the darkness over my eyes.

The tight leather blindfold that kept me plunged into darkness.

I writhed, trying to kick my legs at whoever was assaulting me, but they only grabbed my legs and forced them apart. It took me a moment to realize there was nothing on my lower half, so I was completely exposed to the person attacking me.

I tried to yell past the gag, but my tongue suddenly burned and stung. I tried to wiggle it, but something kept my tongue hooked to the ball gag. It took me a moment to realize that my tongue had been pierced to it.

I screamed, but it was muffled and choked back, making me gag. I wiggled my tongue, but it was pierced heavily to the rubber, with no chance of release until my assaulter grew bored. And judging from the way he was panting hard, grabbing my thighs and digging his nails into my ass told me that he wouldn't be bored for a long time.

Oh god, why did I fall asleep? It was too cold!

So cold! How could I fall asleep?!

And I couldn't let anyone help me. If someone woke me up, I'd be discovered. Or I'd at least embarrass Kasper and infuriate Gavin, both of which I did not want to happen.

I just tried to hold as still as possible, willing myself to wake up, but my thoughts and my body movements were intercepted by someone else's.

By Kasper's.

The putrid scent of terror and blood rose in the air amongst other revolting stenches. The floor was so hard and cold, making my back scream in pain as well as my head. I kept writhing, kept squirming to escape the cold hands that were trying to force me to hold still in the same position as he violated me.

Pain tore through me, seeming to get worse every time I fell into this nightmare.

How could Kasper survive any of this?

I had my fair share of pain, but this was driving me insane. I couldn't escape it. Even after being shaken from these, I still found myself aching in pain as if it had really just happened to me. As if I had really just been devoured by a vampire, violated until I bled, beat until I was unconscious. Was it even possible to fall unconscious in a nightmare?

I had no idea.

I just let myself melt into Kasper's nightmare, suffering the repeated violence and agony. The smell of my blood wavering through the air as sleek fangs sank into my throat, ripping it open to spill blood across the cement.

The gnawing hunger in my gut that was never satisfied. I felt like I had been in there a week. Everything suddenly felt so broken, so void until I heard a panting voice from somewhere nearby.

"T-The fuck are you doing," The man's voice panting harshly, his voice wet with blood, "Quit letting him do those things to you." I tried to answer him, but my voice was muffled by the blood from the tongue piercing to the rubber ball. I only managed a low, pained whimper as I rolled onto my side, struggling to get to my knees.

Who's voice was that? Why did it sound vaguely familiar?

"Kasper, come on," He paused to spit at the floor, "Get up. Lift your head up. Let me see your tongue... Is it bad?" I whimpered again, trembling on my knees as I inched forward until I hit the bars of my cell. I felt his hot breath on my cheek as he licked the cut there. I panted past the ball gag, trying to jerk my arms out of the straitjacket, but to no avail.

"Damn," The voice muttered, pausing to lick the cut on my cheek every so often before he licked at the puncture wounds on my throat, "You're bleeding everywhere... Can you breath?" I choked on the blood in my mouth, tipping my head forward as it dripped out of my mouth. I whimpered, feeling tears burn my eyes and leak past the leather blindfold. The voice sighed.

"Stop crying... It won't do anything." He ordered. I choked on a sob, the tears streaming down my cheeks and burning my cuts as I remained hunched over, blood pouring out of my mouth to the floor.

"I said stop crying, Kasper! Quit being a baby!"

"Kyuh-wuh, ah kuht." My voice was muffled by the ball gag, but the name struck me as familiar as it flew across Kasper's nightmare.

Kyler.

I tried to speak again, but Kyler started gasping harshly. I choked on the blood and saliva in my mouth, trying to say his name, but he was crying out in pain as something cracked through the air. I felt something hit me in the face, sending pain exploding into my skull as I fell backwards, gasping aloud past the blood gurgling in my throat. I did the only thing I could do and swallowed as I heard Kyler screaming, the sound filling my ears as I squeezed my eyes shut past the blindfold.

This was painful...

Wake me up...

Please, someone just wake me up...

"...ka... Luka! Luka! Wake up!" My eyelids fluttered open and the darkness was gone. Somewhat anyway. Instead of the pitch darkness that surrounded me, the moonlight shown down in my face as well as the sparkling stars.

And Noah's face.

He was staring down at me with wide brown eyes, his hair framing his face as he leaned over top of me. I blinked a few times, focusing in on his face. His expression was worried and his eyes were flickering over my face. His hands cupped my cheeks, so warm. My body felt so achy and frozen. Noah leaned back a bit, slipping his arms around me and helping me sit up.

I touched my head, wincing before looking at Noah. It took me a moment to realize he was naked and I winced.

"Why aren't you wearing any clothes? It's snowing out here!" I snapped in irritation as I unbuttoned my jacket. Noah just stared at me as I slipped my blazer off, throwing it at his face. He pulled it off his head for a moment, then dropped it on one of his shoulders-- seeing as his were far broader than mine. I shivered for a minute, then started to get up, but my legs gave out.

I waited to hit the ground, but I was surprised as Noah caught me under the arms, wincing.

"What are you doing out here at night? It's dangerous." He scolded, making me blink tiredly. I was beginning to feel the heaviness from lack of sleep. I struggled to keep my eyes open as I stared up at him.

"Can't sleep." I managed. Noah frowned.

"You couldn't sleep, so you came out here?" He asked, perplexed. I shook my head and gripped his arms, steadying myself onto my feet. I waited until I felt stable enough to walk, then pushed away from him, taking a deep breath.

"No. I'm fine... Just a little sleepy."

"Maybe you should go to bed."

"Maybe you should put some clothes on." I returned smartly, folding my arms over my chest, smirking as I glanced him up and down. Noah blinked, then glanced down at himself before looking up at me. I was surprised as he pouted, putting a hand on his hip, unashamed.

Of course, what did he have to be ashamed of?

His body was gorgeous.

Muscled and sleek, his skin sunkissed and glowing under the moonlight. His dark manly hairs creepy down his navel. Ah, god, he had a happy trail. My insides quivered for a moment before I lifted my eyes from his groin to meet his eyes.

"Maybe you should take your clothes off." He responded. I smirked.

"You're cheeky." I commented. Noah lowered his arm, studying my face before he smiled.

"I've always been a little cheeky. Ah... My mate used to tease me about it all the time." He added, averting his eyes. I frowned, lowering my arms to my sides.

"I'm sorry." I responded. Although, I honestly didn't mean it. I knew the feeling of a dead mate, so why did I even feel sorry for him? He felt like shit, and so he should. Our world was far different than the humans expecting.

Humans carelessly married people, dying with their hands locked together. Never once knowing that the person they spent years with wasn't even their mate. Meanwhile, their true mate somewhere else in the world was struck so hard with grief at the death of a mate they never knew.

Our world put far more emphasis on it.

You kept searching for your mate until you found them and spent the rest of your days together.

If one mate should die and not the other, it would happen shortly. It was a constant struggle to live without your mate. An agonizing struggle that sometimes won over the sheer will power to live on.

But that was for people who truly loved their mates.

"We should go inside." I said at last. Noah nodded and gestured for me to follow. I obeyed like the servant I was as we went inside, greeted by the comforting warmth of the home. We walked by the coffee machine and I was tempted to make another cup, but I was pretty sure I wouldn't sleep now as I followed Noah up the stairs. I don't know why I kept following him.

Something about his back was inviting.

My eyes followed the bulging muscles of his back, the way his broad shoulders moved when he walked and his long, muscular legs carried him up the stairs to his room on the second floor. His back looked good enough to bite into.

I blinked at how familiar the thought was before frowning as I stopped halfway down the hallway and Noah paused, turning around to face me halfway.

"I suppose I should leave you to rest." He stated.

"I don't want to sleep." I replied calmly, honestly. Noah studied my face before smiling lightly.

"Would you like to come to my room?" He asked me. I stared at him, lifting a brow to look at him curiously.

"We just met and you're asking me to sleep with you." I deadpanned. Noah beamed, holding my jacket close to his chest, tilting his head to rest on the wool material. I felt a little thrill rush through me at his boyish movement before he took a step toward his room.

"We're adults. Things like this are completely natural." He responded. I don't know why, but something about the way he said that made me come forward. He smiled secretly and turned, heading to his room and I followed close behind him, praying that Gavin was deep asleep and wouldn't know what I was about to do.

This was dangerous.

He was a werewolf.

I may no longer be human, but my body was still like a human's. Werewolves were known for being particularly rough. And yet, something about that made my breath catch as Noah opened his bedroom door.

Oh, fuck it.

I had no choice.

I was going to have sex with a werewolf.