Chapter Eleven (Noah)

This was so much harder than I thought.

I waited in the living room for Luka to get back so I could apologize for harping on him, then hopefully follow it up with another attempt to ask him out on a date at least. We could go anywhere he wanted. I had money from working at The Mockingbird. I could easily pay for us to even go to a nice restaurant if he wanted to.

You're desperate. A voice hissed in the back of my head, making me cringe. I reached up, brushing my fingers through my hair.

Yea, maybe I was too eager to please Luka, but he was my mate.

I loved him.

I know I did.

I've always loved him and I had no idea what happened a thousand years ago when I sentenced Luka to death, but one thing I was sure of was that I didn't want that to happen. Luka had been so sweet and child-like in all my memories. He was innocent and pure. He cared about other people and that was why he fought to protect them.

But he was different now.

He was bitter. It made my heart ache to think that I had been the one to cause this. My sweet Ruruka was just like any other adult now... At least, that's what it felt like. I still loved him, though. No matter what he turned into.

I glanced at the clock with a frown, resting my chin in my palm as the seconds ticked by.

Luka had left almost an hour and a half ago. Why was it taking so long? I started to feel antsy as something churned in the pit of my stomach. I had a bad feeling...

Maybe I should go pick him up.

No, he'd hate me forever.

But what if he was in trouble?

What sort of trouble could he possibly be in? It was a small southern town getting hit with snow for the first time in years, maybe even decades. It was only a light sprinkle, but to Southerners, it was a fucking blizzard out there and completely unsafe.

My eyes flickered and I bit my lower lip, sitting up straight and looking out the window at the snow as it fell to the ground below, creating a very thin, almost see-through layer over the dead leaves.

It wouldn't hurt to check on him.

He might be drunk, I thought with a confident nod as I rose to my feet and went to the key rack, plucking my car keys off the hook. I went out to my small car, started it up and blasted the heater as I backed out and went at a good thirty speed limit to avoid slipping on the gravel and ice. I turned out onto the main road, almost sliding off in the process.

Damn, it was icy out here.

Probably the frost from before melted, I figured as I turned my headlights on, watching them cast an eerie glow across the empty road. I drove slowly toward town, glancing on the sides of the road for deer. Those psychotic, suicidal freaks just thought it was some daring act to jump in front of a car and live to tell the tale.

Jokes on them; you don't live if you jump in front of a car.

I drove just further down the road, the town just in view when I spotted lights shining out onto the road from a ditch. I frowned, slowing down and peering over the edge. My eyes widened at the sight of an overturned SUV, the headlights shining out, but flickering every so often as they prepared to die.

I quickly pulled over, keeping my car on as I scrambled out of the car, almost falling out as I managed to catch my balance.

"Hello!" I called as I came to the edge of the road on the other side, peering down at the SUV. I frowned, studying the way the silver almost blended in with the now wintering forest. An owl hooted somewhere nearby before its heavy wings flapped shortly after. I pricked my way down the hill, almost sliding on the ice as I stood now a few feet from the SUV.

My heart dropped into my stomach as I recognized the license plate: New York.

I scrambled over the leaves and busted tree branches, dropping to my knees outside the car, avoiding the busted glass. My night vision allowed me to peer inside to see that sure enough, Luka was inside.

He was upside down, his eyes closed and his now blue lips parted, little puffs of steam escaping into the car. A deep cut was embedded into his temple, steadily bleeding down into his hair and falling into a small puddle just on the car ceiling under his head. Upon further inspection, I noticed his leg was smashed between the seat and the floor, bent at an angle that was surely broken.

My heart was pounding violently in my chest as I carefully covered my hand in my jacket sleeve, brushing the glass away so I could get on my hands and knees. I reached in, gently touching Luka's cheek.

"Luka... Ruruka, wake up." I whispered. No response. I went to touch his neck, feeling for a pulse. My heart rate picked up as I switched from his neck to his wrist, but I still wasn't getting a response. My eyes stung as I bit my lip before gasping, fighting back tears.

"Ruruka, please... Wake up. Ruruka." I pleaded and inched in a bit further, wincing as glass sliced through my jeans and into my legs. I ignored the pain, watching as Luka's eyelids fluttered a bit, the blue-green orbs beneath flickering around as his lips closed, then opened again.

"C-Cold... It's cold..." He managed, his eyes seeming to search for where he was. He seemed dazed and confused, probably the head wound. I reached in, pushing Luka's seat belt back, shifting a bit in further so I was up against him, reaching up to grab the seat.

"Ruruka, this is gonna hurt, but just for a second, all right. I need you to put your hands on the roof of the car to keep yourself from falling. Can you do that?" I asked. Luka sighed sleepily, but put his arms up obediently to hold himself up as I reached up. I gritted my teeth, pushing one hand on the floor and one pulling on the seat with my other.

The seat instantly broke against my supernatural strength and Luka barked out a curse as he slammed into the roof, before crying out in pain.

"Ugh! Sookin syn!" He cursed loudly, tilting his head back, his leg slumping beside his other, still awkwardly bent and bleeding onto his pantleg. His eyes flickered around a few more, seeming to adjust to things until he saw me. He stared at me for the longest time before squeezing his eyes shut.

"First, I end up eating a meal I don't even like. Then I get lectured by a mere werewolf. Then I get in a fucking car accident because I forgot about my meds. And now, here I am, being rescued by the guy who killed me in the first place. This is just the best night of my life." He muttered. I scowled.

"Shut up and let me help you." I ordered. Luka blinked his eyes open, looking at me in surprise, but he said nothing as I hooked my arms under his and began to carefully pull him out from the car. Luka winced, breathing hard and his teeth chattering. I started to lift him into my arms, but he grabbed my arms and glared at me.

"All right, you're done. You're not carrying me." He said coldly, hardly sounding threatening, though, with the way his teeth were chattering. I frowned.

"You can't walk on your own."

"Sure, I can."

"No, you can't. For three reasons. One, you have a serious concussion. Second, your leg is pretty much crushed. It'll be any wonder the doctors can repair it. And three, because I'm going to carry you whether you like it or not." I announced, making Luka blink, then yelp as I reached down and heaved him over my shoulder.

"Ow! No! Put me down!" Luka barked, squirming before hissing in pain as he moved his leg. I shrugged, heading to the car.

"I'm taking you to the hospital." I told him, which only made him struggle further.

"No! You can't do that! No hospital! Just take me back to the plantation!" Luka ordered, digging his fingers into the back of my jacket. I frowned as we approached the car and I used one hand to get the passenger door open.

"Luka, do I need to repeat your visible injuries? You're only human." I said, pulling him down and plopping him into the passenger seat. Luka hissed past clenched teeth, squeezing his eyes shut before looking up at me with a grimace.

"I'm not a human anymore." He managed. I blinked, then slowly lowered myself until I knelt outside the door, staring up at Luka as he panted hard, reaching up to touch his head wound. I brushed his fingers away and he passed me a sour look until he caught my stunned expression and scowled.

"I told you I was never exactly human. My body was, but my mind was not. I used magic. I went from regular witch to sorcerer in no time. When you ordered that I be killed, I cast a spell on myself so that when I died, my soul would be bound to my corpse and I could freely do as I please. And by that, I mean find you and kill you. My body is dead."

"But... Your heart, that night we--"

"Yes, yes," Luka rushed in quickly, his cheek darkening, "I know. I can will my heart and lungs and any other organ to work, but it really doesn't need to be. I just do that so as not to arouse suspicion. I'm no longer human, but the undead. I'm what's called a lich. The spell to become a lich is usually meant for sorcerer's who have the stereotypical world domination thing, it gives them a reason to live forever."

"And you just did it so you could find me and kill me." I stated. Luka didn't look at me, anywhere, but my face as he went to touch his head wound again, but I stopped his fingers. He looked at me, his expression disgusted, but I didn't let go. I took his hand into mine, placing my other over top.

His hand was icy cold. In a normal human, surely he'd be dead.

But he wasn't human.

Luka wasn't human anymore. Then again, neither was I. I had thought that all this time Luka had also been reincarnated, but I was wrong. He never had the chance to experience Summerland or reincarnated, jolting memory shocks.

He'd been alive all these years, surviving on a corpse.

"Does this mean I technically had sex with a corpse?" I heard myself ask. Luka turned red and I felt his hand heat right up in my hand as he tore it away from me, glaring as he rubbed his fingertips.

"First you kill your mate, then you have sex with his corpse. Aren't you sick in the head?" He mocked, then scowled as he looked away down at his fingers. He took a couple deep breathes before he stopped, staring straight ahead. His eyes widened.

"Luka?" I asked, concerned, leaning in to look up at him in confusion. I was surprised to see his blue-green eyes fill with tears as he managed a laugh.

"I fell asleep." He managed. I frowned.

"What?" I asked. Luka looked at me, completely forgetting that he hated me as he seemed to rant excitedly.

"I fell asleep! I actually fell asleep and there was nothing! Nothing, but darkness! No dreams, no nightmares, nothing! I finally fell asleep!" He gasped, touching his head wound and hardly caring as his hand smeared the blood across his forehead and through his hair. I didn't understand what he meant, but I wasn't going to ruin his childlike excitement.

The personality that I remembered in him.

I slowly rose to my feet, taking the door in my hand as Luka sighed a heavy breath of relief, slumping against the seat.

"Just take me home. My magic will heal my wounds if I sleep for a couple days." He assured me sleepily now. I nodded and shut the door, coming around to get in the driver's seat. I started the car, blasting the heat. I glanced over to see that Luka was still somewhat cold, but he was fast asleep now, slumped down with his head tilted toward me.

I slipped my jacket off and carefully laid it across him before I drove carefully down the road and back toward the plantation. I pulled into the driveway and drove even slower, which gave me a chance to glance at Luka, who slept peacefully.

I had seen him only sleep once before and that had been when I found him out by the swing set. One second he was sitting there, staring up at the sky and the next, he fell back and landed on the ground, writhing as if he were on fire or something. He kept whimpering something.

I had assumed it was just a nightmare reminding him of his past, but now that made no sense.

Luka was hiding something else from me, but I wasn't going to ask about it. He needed to trust me first before I could go anywhere near that territory.

I pulled to a stop and turned to look at Luka as he slept. He looked childlike now. His lips slightly parted, the gentle whoosh of his breathes coming out. His eyelashes created a pleasant crescent shape against his pale cheeks, his blonde hair stuck to the bloody wound on his forehead.

I sighed and got out, coming around and gathering him up in my arms. He didn't even wake up as I kicked the car door shut and carried him inside. As soon as I did, I was verbally attacked by Gavin, who had been sitting on the steps.

"What the hell happened?" Gavin demanded angrily. I blinked, tightening my grip around Luka as he slept, not even waking up to Gavin's angry voice.

"Luka went to The Mockingbird and he must have been speeding on the ice or something because he went over the edge and into a ditch. The SUV's flipped over and totaled. Luka told me to take him to his room where he can rest." I explained carefully. Gavin scowled for a moment, then studied Luka curiously.

"Has he been sleeping like that for a while now?" He asked, stepping up to Luka and brushing the hair back from his face carefully. I frowned, feeling a little sliver of jealousy, which surprised me.

"Yes. I found him asleep in the car. He woke up for a little bit and acted like it was the best thing in the world, then fell back to sleep." I responded. Gavin sighed in relief, placing a hand on Luka's forehead. He rested his hand down on Luka before standing straight again, nodding and gesturing for me to follow.

I obeyed, listening to the stairs creak under our feet as we moved quickly to avoid questions from the other members of Blood Rain. We walked into Luka's room and I kicked the door behind me before following Gavin to the bed where I set Luka down carefully. Gavin grabbed some towels from the bathroom, getting them wet and warm before we peeled his clothes off.

"When was the last time he slept like this?" I asked, using a cloth to dab at the wound on his forehead. Gavin glanced at me for a moment, then back at Luka's sleeping face before he sighed, standing up and folding his arms over his chest.

"Luka hasn't slept this well since we came back from New York City.... In August. In fact, according to Luka, he hasn't slept since August. He's been drifting every so often while he's awake, but that's it. This is the first time he's slept peacefully and I intend to let him sleep as long as he wishes." He explained calmly. I blinked, looking up at him in surprise as I sat on the bed.

"Since August? Why the hell did it take him so long? What was going on?" I demanded. Gavin looked at me with steely cold eyes, then looked away as he continued to wipe the blood off Luka's mangled leg.

"It's really none of your concern. Luka hates you. If he hates you, I also hate you." He answered calmly, making me wince.

"I didn't hurt Luka." I insisted, but Gavin laughed, standing up again and looking at me, his arms folded over his chest.

"Planting assassination evidence and ordering him to be hanged isn't hurting him? I'm afraid what you're like in a fight, cur." He stated. I gritted my teeth and shot to my feet, dropping the towel as I clenched my fists.

"That wasn't me," I protested angrily, making Gavin roll his eyes, "I'm positive now that I didn't hurt Luka! I wasn't the one using my body, someone else was making me do those things!" Gavin frowned, glancing at me sourly.

"And just how would that happen? A ghost jump into your body?" He asked sarcastically. I glared at him.

"How would you feel if someone possessed your body and forced you to kill your mate? How would you feel having to sit there and be trapped inside your own body, watching your mouth give the order?" I seethed. Gavin's frown deepened as he averted his eyes for the longest time before looking at me.

"All right. I hated you because Luka did and I respect Luka. He's done so much for me since we met. He's saved my life countless times and was there for me when my father forced me to watch him kill my mother. He follows me orders without question and he's the only person who knows me inside and out..."

"However," Gavin continued, making me frown now, "I will admit that I've found it strange how someone can kill their own mate. It's just... not possible. No matter how much you may fight with your mate or be harmed by them. It's like trying to kill yourself. There's an instinct inside you that won't let you do it. A survival instinct. I want to know what happened and I need specific details. I need to know how your relationship with Luka went. Maybe if we analyze everything, we can figure out if something went wrong. We need to know what your thinking process was then. Can you remember enough?" I nodded.

"I have a good portion of my memories back as well as emotions." I informed and Gavin nodded back before looking down at Luka, taking the blankets and pulling them over him. Gavin looked up at me.

"As for Luka's sleeping issues... They're caused by something that's out of his control and I'm afraid... It's my fault." He added, looking guilty as he stepped away from the bed. I frowned instantly.

"What'd you mean?" I demanded. Gavin glanced at me, then back at Luka.

"My mate is a were, just like you, but he's a raven. His life span, as well as yours, is only two-hundred years. Kasper was going to die before me and I would be left alone. I would slowly die of malnutrition as I won't drink anyone else's blood, but Kasper's. After that, Kasper would be reborn into this world and I would not. I would be sent somewhere else because I'm a vampire, not a were. He would continue to be reincarnated repeatedly in hopes of finding me, but he never will, which means he'll lose his meaning and his new lives will only become depressing. I couldn't let that happen. Luka told me he could extend Kasper's life, but it came with a price and I didn't know the price until I walked into his room and saw him relieving Kasper's worst nightmares and memories." He explained calmly, with a slight grimace. I blinked.

"Your mate's memories are so terrible they won't let Luka sleep?" I asked, my voice almost cracking in awe. Gavin looked up at me.

"Some things are just better left unsaid... But yes. Kasper can sleep now and go about his day without having any flashbacks or nightmares because Luka is the one taking them." He replied, making me grimace. I looked down at Luka, who slept peacefully.

He didn't seem to hear anything around him and was lost in the deep, blank sleep of exhaustion. I noticed the wound in his head began to slowly mend itself steadily. His leg would take longer, but it would heal and I almost sighed in relief until I heard something thump and I looked at the door, frowning. Gavin tilted his head and glanced at the door before he winced.

"Shit." He managed. I looked at him curiously until I saw the door open a little and Kasper peered in.

"I... I'm sorry." He stammered. My eyes widened as I snapped my head to look at Gavin.

"You didn't even tell him?" I demanded. Gavin flinched, flashing me a quick glare before looking at Kasper, who just stood in the doorway, holding the door in front of him as if he were afraid to come around it.

"Kasper, I'm sorry. I wanted to say something before, but Luka didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to know. This isn't your fault." He said quickly. Kasper still looked sick with guilt as he clenched his grip on the door for a moment, then slowly let go.

"I knew something was wrong," He managed, "I walked in when Luka was... sleeping too... I didn't think it had anything to do with me, but I noticed that Luka had stopped sleeping. I could hear him moving around the house at night, cleaning things that he'd already cleaned and swimming in the pool. He'd take the car out for hours, then come back before you woke up."

"Kasper, this isn't your fault." Gavin repeated, but he could say it a thousand times and Kasper wouldn't listen to him. I felt a small pang as Kasper's blue eyes welled with tears. Gavin winced and started toward him, but Kasper ducked out of the room.

"Stay with him." Gavin ordered me and I just watched as he bolted out of the room, the sound of his footsteps fading down the hallway. I turned back to Luka, who was still fast asleep. I knelt by his bed side, leaning over and taking his hand, nibbling my lower lip.

"You knew," I murmured, stroking his knuckles as Luka sighed sleepily, tilting his head a little, "You knew you'd be punished, but you wanted your master happy, so you didn't care... Luka, you haven't changed at all."

I leaned in, brushing my lips over Luka's before resting my head on the bed beside him.

Ruruka...

My Ruruka...

My sweetling.