Tàiyáng's POV

When I arrived home from night classes for the day, the building was dark. Turning the lights on, I begin to prepare dinner for me and my brother. He must have had a difficult surgury or something.

I had decided to stay at home instead of dorm since I didn't want to leave my brother alone in an empty house by himself.

Looking at the clock, I sigh and begin to eat without him. Another lonely meal. Making my way upstairs, I prepare for bed.

Late in the night, I hear the sound of keys and the door opening. I groan as I roll over and check the clock.

4:57 a.m.!

The sound of my brother's heavy footsteps on the stairs startle me awake. He usually walks softly when he gets home late at night.

When I get out of bed, I pause before opening the bedroom door. The sound of someone crying echoes through the empty hallway, permitting my dark bedroom.

Is that my brother crying?

Quietly, I slowly open my door so that it doesn't make a sound. I squint against the bright lights; when my eyes adjust, I'm shocked at what I see.

My brother is standing motionless in the bright hallway. I watch his still figure rock back and forth, as my strong brother is brought to tears in front of my very eyes. Suddenly with an angry shout, Sēnlín punched the wall with passion, but with a choked sob; he crumbles onto the cold floor and holds his head in his hands.

Worried about his unusual behavior, I rush to his side, but he doesn't even notice my presence.

"I..I...could have..... sav...saved her...I could have saved her." Over and over again, he repeated those words as he grasps the front of my shirt.

Understanding dawned on me as I realised what happened. "Sēnlín. It's going to be okay."

"No, it's not okay! She was too young to die.....if...if only...." he couldn't finish his sentence.

Letting out a sigh, I motion for him to get up, but in his mental state, he became dead weight. I heave his heavy body up and try to lead him to the bathroom to wash up, but he was too heavy to carry down the hall.

So instead, I half carry half drag him to our bedroom we shared. Sēnlín's bed was the top bunk, but there is no way I am getting him up there tonight, so I placed him on my bed. Before I could leave him in peace, he grabbed my hand and whispered, "She was too young, Tàiyáng."

Grabbing a chair with my other hand, I placed it near the bed and begin the closure process that I use on my brother whenever he becomes like this.

"What was she like, Sēnlín." I asked him in a soft voice.

"She was going to be a mother."

"Really? How far along was she?"

"She was 6 months pregnant with her first child. She told me how excited she was, because she was adopted, and wanted her child to experience loving and being loved by a blood family that the woman didn't have when she was young."

"She must have felt very lonely until her child came." I commented

"She also had a younger sister who was from the same orphanage. She had schedueled a check-up, because she had been feeling weird lately.When I performed the checkup, her vitals were normal. But later in the day, the woman's blood pressure started to rise and she went into labor too early. We tried to save both of them.......but only the baby survived."

"Then what happened?" I carefully pressed.

"Her little sister came running into the room, yelling for her lost sister. I tried to stop her, But she ran past me into the room. When she saw her sister's still body, she began to cry and plead for her sister to come back. "Don't leave. We promised. We promised to never abandon each other. Your husband needs you. Your baby needs you." Those words will forever haunt me."

"There was nothing you could have done, Sēnlín."

"If I had checked hourly instead of quarterly, I might have found the problem and fixed it before it was too late." After saying that, Sēnlín began to cry again, only this time, his whole body was wracked with sobs and he started to hiccup.

So I pulled him up into a sitting position and turned some relaxing music from my ipod on. Walking downstairs, I placed a pot of water on the stove to boil for the herbal tea. Tea always calms Sēnlín down when incidents like this happens.

Once the tea was ready, I walk back upstairs and slowly enter our bedroom. Setting the tray down, I motioned for him to drink.

"Everytime a patient dies, you turn into this," I waved my hand at his pitiful body. "Why do you continue what you do if you are only going to get hurt?"

"Not this talk again." He rolls his eyes at me.

"Yes, we are having this talk again. If you are going to wake me up with your crying I might as well get an explanation."

"Even though I am like this" he motioned towards himself  "I am still human."

"Of course you're human. We are all human." Now it was my turn to roll my eyes at him

"When I cease caring for humans, I cease being a human."

"English, Sēnlín. Not philosophy."

"If I stop caring for my patients then I have ceased being a good doctor."

"Yeah....I know, But there are some days that I feel like you get too attached to your patients. Now get some sleep."

I quickly gather my things and some clothes before I leave the bedroom. Closing the door, I head towards the bathroom to get ready for my first college class of the day.

******

"You look horrible."

"You think?" I replied sarcastically.

School was almost finished and I think I slept through most of it.

"How do you sleep through classes and still get good grades?"

Jùn and I were sitting together eating our lunch outside at a small cafe. Since Jùn's midday break at college coincides with mine, we usually eat together.

"Hey, do you want to stop by Měi's family cafe and get something to eat for dinner? I bet that will cheer you up."

"Do you go there for the food or maybe something else?" I asked suspiciously

Jùn gave me an innocent look. "Why else would I go there?"

I smile wickedly. "Oh, I don't know....maybe because of a pretty girl that works there?" I hinted.

Jùn choked on his drink when I asked him the question. So guilty.

"Why do you keep denying your feelings towards each other? You've known each other since childhood."

He heaved a heavy sigh. "We aren't kids anymore. So when I confess, I want to be able to give her more then a lousy promise of my undying love. I want to be able to take care of her."

"Is that really the reason why you won't confess?"

"She deserves the best and I want to get a good job so that I can take her back to the mainland with me before I confess." He said softly as if in a dream.

"You're really considering moving back to South Korea?"

"It's where we ourKoreaour parents were born. And...I don't want our kids to have to deal with the torture Měi and I did throughout school just because we were different." Jùn softly whispered as he stared at his drink in contemplation.

"I understand, Jùn."

"What about you?" Jùn asked

"What do you mean?"

"What are your future plans?"

"I don't know..."

"What?! I thought you had your whole life planned out for you." Jùn said sarcastically.

I chuckled. "I guess we are both clueless."

"Hey, are you ever going to tell Míngqín about your," Jun coughed, "past relations with Lacerta?"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Do I need to tell her?"

Jùn spit his water everywhere spewing me with some.

"Oh, I don't know....I used to be associated in an illegal group that might have killed your whole village sounds like a pretty important thing to tell your crush before it gets serious." Jùn gave me a serious face as I wiped my face with a napkin.

"I know, I know. But when will I ever find a good moment for that kind of information?!"

"That's your problem, not mine. All I know is, Míngqín needs to know this or she's going to get hurt."

I heave a heavy sigh. "I'll tell her when the timing is right." When I said that, Jùn looked at me doubtfully but didn't say anything.

We ate our food in silence as thoughts of our future weighed heavy on our minds. After finishing, we got up to throw our garbage away before we parted ways.

"See you at Měi's."

"Are you going there too?"

"Sure. I'll bring Songbird with me."

Jùn chuckled before we walked our separate ways.

After school, I waited for Jùn's class to finish.

"Hey, where is Míngqín?" Jùn asked when he walked up to me.

"She went ahead of us with Měi." I explained as we began to walk."Hey, I need to check in on my brother, before we head to Měi's. Is that okay?"

"Sure, I'll wait out here."

"Thanks."

******
Opening the door to my house, I notice a cool draft coming from upstairs. I roll my eyes. What is Sēnlín doing now.....

Heading towards the bedroom, my heart drops when I spot our bedroom window open.

He didn't.

My heart plummeted as I rushed towards the open window hoping with all my heart not to see a corpse.

When I peaked down, I'm relieved to see nothing, but heavy traffic.

Sliding onto the bedroom floor, I grasp my chest as my heart continues to race. Deep breaths, Tàiyáng. Sēnlín would never do something like that.

Suddenly, I see bubbles come floating throughout the room. Looking up, I notice the attic door is open. Pulling on the chain, a wooden ladder extends towards me. What in the world?! We never use the attic....

Grasping the bars tightly, I climb up the ladder and peak over the last rung. " Sēnlín, you idiot!" I yelled at him as I ascended the ladder and walked towards him.

Sitting in the corner, my brother was calmly blowing bubbles as if nothing happened.

"Aren't you a little old for blowing bubbles?" I asked him

"It's relaxing."

If only he knew what I was thinking earlier. Now I'm tempted to strangle him.....

"Do you want to join me?" He invited

"No thanks. I'm going with Jùn to a cafe.

"It must be nice to be young and carefree."

This is more like the Sēnlín I know.

Before I left my brother to his bubbles, I turn to face him.

"Sēnlín ?"

He looks up at me and our eyes meet.

"Please don't leave me......" I couldn't finish my sentence as what happened a couple of minutes ago caused me to choke up.

Sēnlín smiles up at me.

"Never."

***********

Sorry for making this really long, but I wanted you to get to know Sēnlín . I hope you enjoyed! Please comment your thoughts <3 .