Tàiyáng POV

Seeing Songbird so sad, I began to doubt myself. Am I worth her love? She is so delicate, I'm afraid if I touch her, she will break. Because of my past, do I deserve to love? Or will it forever haunt me like a re-occuring nightmare?

But because I hesitated, she began to run away from me. I was about to chase her when my phone began to ring.

Why is Sēnlín calling me?

Knowing that chasing her without having answers myself, I turn away from where she ran off to.

As I began to walk home, I screamed at myself. Why did I hesitate? I should have confessed to her then.....so why?.....

By the time I had made it to my house, I had come to a solid conclusion. Whether if I am worthy of her love or not: I do love her.

A sense of peace filled me as I reached a decision. Tomorrow is her birthday. I will fix everything then. When I entered the dark house, I quietly shut the door. Turning the lights on, I expect to see Sēnlín who usually stays up to wait for me until I return home. But instead of greeting me with his usual scowl, his face showed a panicked expression?

Confused, I approached him only to find that he was sitting on a sofa across from our parents!

Darn it! I internally cursed at myself as I plastered a fake smile onto my face at the sight of my parents.

I acknowledged them with a tilt of my head to them as I said their names. "Mother. Father. It's been a while. To what do I owe the honor of seeing you?"

"Sit down." My father said coldly. I obediantly sat next to Sēnlín that was far from our parents.

Looking at them, I notice that they must have been drinking before they arrived since their cheeks were a slight tinge of pink and Mother was still holding a glass full of wine. They have a low tolerance for alcohol, and yet they consume so much of it.

"I tried to warn you" Sēnlín whispered under his breath as I sat down. I inwardly groaned at myself again. Out of all the days, why did our parents choose to get drunk today?

"Where were you, Tàiyáng?" Mother said. Ice could be warmer than the tone of her voice.

While my parents let me do whatever I wanted when I lived with them, I felt empty since they neither hated me nor loved me. Just indifference. They rarely speak to us, but whenever they drink, their mouths loosen and we always hear what they have been keeping to themselves.

When I moved in with Sēnlín, he was the only one who acknowledged me as a person instead of looking at me through glazed eyes.

Because of that, he is also the only family member I've truly acknowledged since he was the one that not only loved me, but disciplined me whenever I got in trouble.

Even though I hate getting admonished by him....he was the only one that actually saw me.

He also knows my secrets....

"Tàiyáng, answer me when I ask you a question! Where were you?" Mother yelled which broke my train of thoughts.

"I was with a school friend." I quietly answered while refusing to look them in the eyes.

"At 11:46 p.m.?" She raised her finely plucked eyebrows at me.

"Yes."

"Don't lie to your mother." My father raised his voice at me.

"Like you would know if I was lying or not." I muttered

"We know you would never make friends. Ever since that accident you had a couple years back, you will never have people who will cease to fear you." My father sneered at me. I clenched my hands in anger, but glazed my eyes of all emotions like my brother.

"What Tàiyáng is trying to say is, his phone was turned off because they were studying and must have lost track of time. Getting ready for college exams does require a lot of Tàiyáng's time these days." Sēnlín explained. I shot him an appreciative look.

"Stay out of it, Sēnlín." Mother snapped at him. "We will talk to you after this."

Sēnlín hung his head in order for our parents to not see the anger in his eyes while Mother aimed her dagger-like eyes towards me.

"Who were you with?"

"I was just with a girl named Lǐ Míngqín. " I yelled in anger. Seeing my brother vehemently shake his head, I knew that I had said too much.

"I didn't have an areanged marriage to keep the blood line going just for my son to mess it up by dating an experiemnt! A Fènghuáng Project girl? Really?!" She screamed as she threw her now empty glass onto the ground, causing it to shatter into a million tiny shards.

"We specifically told the teachers to warn you about that girl." Mother said as she crushed the glass shards into smaller fragments with her heels.

"If you had only chosen to study medicine like your brother, you might never have met this girl."

"That's because being a doctor is what you wanted me to do with my life, not what I wanted to do." I yelled as I dared to look them in the eyes.

"I'm starting to get a headache from all your yelling. I've said what I've had to say, now go get me some more wine."

She waved her hand at me as if to dismiss me. Holding her head from the headache she probably procurred from the wine and not from my "yelling", she sits back down and crosses her legs.

"Your turn." She turned to Sēnlín

"We don't have alcohol." I calmly stated.

"Well go find some. You just turned eighteen right?"

"It's almost midnight....."

"Well, find one that is open and don't come back until you have a wine bottle in your hands."

Heaving a heavy sigh, I get up and walk towards the door. Opening the door, I pause as my ears catch a glimpse what they were saying to Sēnlín.

".....higher reports of deaths. Fix it. People will not go to hospitals that have a high death rate."

I slammed the door closed as the cold air felt good on my skin. As if Sēnlín can control whether patient's live or die, it's not like he's God. I continued to rant as I aimlessly limped throuh the dark streets looking for any open store. Finding one that was still open, I make my way towards the only well lit building.

Walking inside, I am greeted by the only person there who happened to be the cashier. Figures....who shops in a convenience store at midnight?

Going over to the alcohol section, I look at the large amount they had to offer. I feel so overwhelmed and confused. Why do they all look the same! I take one bottle down and look at the label.

My parents concealed their pain from work by consuming alcohol, but alcohol always makes them angry and uncontrollable, always taking it out on us. Since we share the same blood, Sēnlín worried that he would turn into our parents if he drank alcohol, so he decided to protect me by abstaining from alcohol. But since he refused to drink his grief away in order to protect me, he had to suffer through depression and nights filled with horrorific sights through his dreams because of his job.

Even though I'm 18 and not able to drink, but able to buy alcohol for some weird reason, I wouldn't want to try it if I end up turning into my parents. My parents are fine if they stayed away from the alcohol......

Giving up, I go over to the cashier again and ask him what kind of wine helps with sleep. Asking for proof of identification and age, I take out my wallet and show him my card. Nodding his head, he leads me to a different aisle and hands me a bottle. Paying for it, I rush home as fast as I can.

When I enter, the house is quiet. Finding Sēnlín in the kitchen, he reaches for the bottle, but I hide it behind my back. "Where's our mom and dad?"

"In the bathroom barfing. Now give me the bottle. Don't worry, I won't drink it." He told me calmly.

Handing him the bottle, I watch him as he pours the wine into two glass cups. Taking a packet out, he pours a white substance into the wine that instantly dissolves.

"What is that?"

"Poison."

"Sēnlín!" I yelled as I was about to pour out the drinks.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He chuckled. "It's a drug that helps with nausea and produces drowsiness. They gave me this before they went to the bathroom and requested that I put it in their drinks when you come back."

I relaxed. "For a moment there, I thought you went crazy."

"Aren't we all?" He asked cynically.

"If not now, we will by the end of the night." I smirked

"What happened to your hand?" I raised my eyebrows at his bandaged hand.

"I was cleaning up the shards of glass from Mom's champaign glass, but I couldn't find a broom so I just used my hands."

Suddenly we could hear our parents descend the stairs. We both frowned as we turned towards them.

Unfortuntely, we had to head back to our sitting area to continue our "discussion".

"The main reason we are here is because my mother, which is your grandmother, has fallen ill and needs a caretaker until she gets better. We would have suggested Sēnlín since he is a doctor, but he is needed at the hospital located here. So that leaves us with you, Tàiyáng. We already talked to the two schools and they will allow your absences as long as you keep up with your studies."

"But Mom, I can't leave. I have plans...." I stood up in anger that they were controlling my life again. My father got up as well when he saw me and walked up to me. I was taller than him by a few inches, but not by much. "Sit down and listen while your mother talks."

"Make me." I challenged.

We both stare each other down in anger until my brother, Sēnlín, touches my hand forcing me to come back to reality. Swallowing my pride, I sit back down.

"You've become quite the disobedient son, unlike your older brother. It must be that girl." I rolled my eyes. "Thankfully if this trip back to the States won't calm you down then caring for my obnoxious mother will. You will leave on the midnight flight. Pack your suitcase, we will drop you off at the airport to make sure you get on the plane. Then we will head back to our work."

I quickly got up and left the room, before I blew up, but before I could leave, they confiscated my phone.

"How will I contact Sēnlín if you take my phone away?" I protested. What about Songbird? How will I be able to talk to her？

"We will furnish you with another phone. Now hurry up or you will be late for the flight. Go help him Sēnlín."

When we both went upstairs to the room, we closed the door.

"I am.....furious." I yelled at Sēnlín as I pulled my suitcase out and flung it on my bed. I rest my hands on my waist and stare at him.

"I moved to China to avoid these crazy people we call our parents. And yet they followed me here! Now my life is being controlled even though I'm nineteen years old."

"I need to talk to you about the Fènghuáng Project. I've compiled a couple of notes since you texted me about it. Don't look at it until you are on the plane." Sēnlín said urgently.

"Why do our parents make us so ....angry!" I growled as I stumbled around the room. "Patience and forgiveness are a little bit hard to proccur at the moment. Right now being a Christian sucks." I muttered as I started throwing clothes in my suitcase.

"We both knew it wouldn't be easy making the decision. But I have never regretted that choice and neither have you. Trust that God is in control of your life and not our parents. Okay?"

I reluctantly nodded my head.

"Please contact my friends and tell them the reason why I left so they won't misunderstand. And please talk to Songbird. Her birthday is tomorrow.....here give this to her."

I hand him the black box, but he pushes it back towards me. "You give it to her when you come back. She'll understand if she loves you."

I nodded my head as I packed the black box in my suitcase as well. When I finished, I hugged my brother goodbye.

"We'll find a way to stay in contact. According to my calculations of grandmother's diagnosis, she has at max three months to heal or her sickness will become worse. So you won't be in America for very long."

I walk down the stairs with Sēnlín behind me.

I remained silent all the way until I was in my plane seat. Looking at the folder, I decided to wait until after the plane ride to open it. Looking through the plane's window, I recalled many happy moments as I stared at the fluffly clouds in the sky.

It's been around four years since I've last been to the States......

Images of a crying Songbird haunted me until the plane safely landed in the United States. I'll be back Songbird. Please wait for me...

Sorry, this is a bad chapter...I will work harder next time. And I'm going to make the chapters longer since I have too many chapters....But I hope you enjoyed <3 What do you think about their parents？ ;)