I needed a minute to gather my thoughts before I came looking for Alex who I find smoking in the main room of the estate. It's in the part of the chateau I am not allowed in, but I don't think Alexia wants to be alone.

Gold gilding showers the walls, casting a warm glow over the room while rich greens and deep reds accentuate the luxurious atmosphere. Alexia stands by the fireplace smoking as I wonder: what is it with this family and fireplaces?

"A rebel," Alexia remarks as I make my way to her.

"I'm sorry?" I reply.

"Are you asking, or are you saying?" Amusement dances in her eyes as Alexia takes a pull. Smoke quickly escapes from her rounded lips as she pushes out her words. "If you're apologizing, you don't need to. I've heard enough apologies for a lifetime and if you're confused..."

"I'm... not confused," I interject. "I know that I don't belong here. But–I needed to find you–"

"Why?" Alexia interrupts, an intimidating gaze stopping me at the center of the room.

"I–"

I don't know. I felt like it was the right thing to do, but now that I'm here, it was hubris of me to assume she didn't want to be alone. I'm ashamed as I realize I had only thought that because Honor hated to be alone. But Alexia isn't Honor.

We stand in silence. Alexia's smirk makes me want to crawl out of my skin as she seemingly reads my mind.

"Honor Catmire isn't real Lilah," Alexia reminds me. "She's a blend of me, Owen and Inez. I might have loosely inspired her. Lucca and I might have been the main characters for the first four books but that was only because Owen wasn't settled in his truth, so he, and you, thought it was your place to make a spectacle out of mine."

Guilt washes over me as once again, I don't know what to say. She isn't wrong. Owen wrote a book to change his reality and in his reality his sister was the central character. I love Honor. Many people do but the whole premise of my podcast was that Alexia and many others who played a part in the true story wanted to let it die.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Alexia's smirk deepens, a wry twist of her lips hitting me like a punch to the gut as she takes another drag.

"Was your life that boring?" She asks me.

"I'm–"

"Stop saying sorry," Alexia giggles. "Sorry changes nothing and when you say it enough people either don't believe you or take it as a sign of weakness."

I stand in place until Alexia makes her way over, taking my hand and continuing to smoke as she leads me to the sofa. We say nothing as she sits across from me, examining me closer than I would like before she speaks.

"Let's make a deal Lilah," Alexia declares.

"A... A deal?" I reply.

"You want her don't you. Honor?"

"I–"

Alexia holds up a finger holding a pregnant pause between us as she takes another pull. Her head tilting back as a cloud of gray earth spirals into the air above us.

"I am nothing but honest with you Lilah," Alexia's voice is laced with a strange bitterness or–am I imagining it? "I will be honest and say, when my life went up in smoke, there are no words for the anger I felt. At Owen, at Justice, but most of all, at you."

I can't look at her as Alexia says she "I wanted to know who the fuck is Lilah Mōkena, and why was a fraction of my past ruining my present. I never listened to your podcast before that, but when I looked you up. When I learned you were friends with Lucca, Simone, and Hana, it felt like a conspiracy."

Alexia binged every season of my podcast. Even before it shifted to focus on the story within the story when I was the number one fan in the Honor Catmire fan club. When I was nineteen and only comprehended the smutty aspects of the story so saying overly sexual things felt like the right thing to do.

I am beyond embarrassed. More so when Alexia says she will let me have my fantasy, if I don't tell anyone what she had said in the kitchen.

"What?" I squeak.

"That's why you're here isn't it," Amusement dances on in her eyes as Alexia stands and walks back to the fireplace. "It's why you're friends with Lucca. It's why you always wanted to know the truth because Honor, is a polyamerous bisexual and unlike other book nerds, you just knew if you met, she'd love you as much as Levi and Rose."

The air is sucked from the room as Alexia twists my words and throws them back at me. I have said something along those lines as a joke, but I would never–I'm not–

"It took some centering for me to realize, you're the hero of this story, Lilah," Alexia says as she ashes her rolled cigar. My name perversely gliding from her lips. "If it wasn't for you, I would probably be another unhappy first lady pretending that being an extension of her husband fulfills her. Hell, I could have been the biracial Hillary Clinton. If I can pull off bangs, I can pull off a pants suit."

I'm unsure by Alexia's tone if she's joking. My eyes firmly planted on my hands wringing in my lap, I only know that she is walking back because her voice is drawing closer.

"I would have been miserable if it wasn't for you Lilah. Lying to myself about what it is I truly wanted and that's why you're here. I wanted to thank you. Give you what you've been looking for," She places her hand on my thigh. "And I'll give you so much more if you leave that one part out."

I rip away horrified by the insinuation. Jumping off the sofa, words fail me as I look down at Alexia and wonder, would she really sleep with a stranger just to keep the world from knowing what? How she feels about addicts? That she outed the brother who outed her? Her last words to Inez? That she cried?

"Lilah..." Alexia somehow is still looking down at me from her seat. Calm and collected, my name feels dirty when she says it. "Sit with me."

"I wasn't going to put it in!" I tell her. "And I'm not some obsessed creep. I don't want to use you just because everyone else in your life did."

"That's not true," Alexia's smile reaches her eyes.

"Yes it is!" I object.

"No..." She stands and though I am four inches taller than her, I feel so small before her. "Lucca, Mila, Inez," Alexia lists. "They... never used me. They were good to me and I hurt them simply because I could. I will always regret that."

I'm at a loss for words. My stomach sinking as three unreachable pedestals rise high in my mind. Lucca, Mila, Inez they are the epitome of good. Fan favorites even, and I am grouped with people like Owen and Justice.

"I just wanted to meet you," I whisper, wondering at what point had it gone too far.

"I know," Alexia smiles softly. Her hands caressing my wrist as she pulls me back down with her. "I understand. You are a good person Lilah. You just got curious."

I nod. I've always been curious. It's why I went into journalism.

"So aren't you curious...?" Alexia tilts her head, speaking gently. "I know I am..."

"About what...?" I speak in a hushed tone as anxiety grips my throat.

"Us," Alexia's smile reaches her eyes.

Us?

"I mean... I am not Honor. To say I am is a lie, but most of the things you love about her are me."

I look down at Alexia rubbing my hands with her own. Her touch is comforting, her skin is so delicate as I find myself entranced by the sound of her voice.

"I've been in love with three people. Two of which I got to hear fall in love with me through their eyes. But even Mila and Lucca didn't love me for my flaws. You did."

I don't understand the way Alexia is looking at me. Admiration? Longing? Why is she looking at me like that? Why is she saying these things?

"I've never been loved entirely," Alexia tells me. "And from the look on your face this afternoon, you've never been loved etherically. You talk a good game but have you actually been with a woman?"

My cheeks burn as I attempt to stand, but Alexia yanks me back down. Her siren eyes holding me in place as she waits for her answer.

"Yes," I whisper. "Once...In college. It might not be how you experienced sex but, it was nice."

"Nice?" Alexia says with a taunting smirk.

"Yes," I feel defensive. "Nice. It was nice not everyone wants to be–"

Before I can finish my sentence Alexia's lips are on mine. Soft butterflies gracing my skin before she pulls away with a soft smile.

"That is nice," Alexia declares. "It's... friendly. Something children do while playing house. You're a nice girl Lilah, but we both know you want more than nice. It's why you're the head of my fan club."

"I–"

I want to object, but before I can, Alexia's lips are on mine. This burning fever builds between us as she commands my mouth open. Her tongue tastes like strawberries and earth and I want more of it.

My heart is pounding, my head is spinning, I'm kissing Alexia Fairchild.

Her hands are on my hips. My body lays back and her large breasts overtake my modest size while we chest-to-chest on the sofa kissing wildly.

Alexia's leg strokes between mine as her body moves in a fluid dance that leaves me breathless and yet, I don't want to stop. I can't. The heat is building and rising to dangerous heights but I never want her to stop. This familiar feeling radiating at my core until–

"Mmmm," I moan into Alexia's mouth while I come.

My hands gripping her shoulders, I feel helpless as she pulls away slightly and gazes into my eyes and asks, "Was that nice?"

I take sweeping breaths as I stare at her in awe. Her smile reaches those beautiful dangerous eyes as Alexia leans in, sending chills down my spine as she whispers in my ear, "Be bad with me Lilah..."

God the way she says my name.

My lips find Alexia's, whimpering as her hands slide beneath my shirt. Her thumbs hooking into the small cups pulling them aside to toy with my hardening nipples.

"Tell me you want me, Lilah," Alexia whispers against my lips.

"I want you," I whimper without hesitation.

Alexia wastes no time ripping off my shirt. For someone who has an aversion to bra's she has no issue removing mine in one fluid motion that leaves me intimidated.

The cool central air on my skin, I reflexively wrap my arms around myself as Alexia and I sit in front of each other. Our lips pouted and pink.

"Do you want me to stop?" Alexia asks.

I shake my head.

"Say it," she forcefully commands.

"Don't stop," I breathe.

"Then move your fucking hands," Alexia shoves them out the way, sucking my nipple into her mouth as she pulls my hips forward.

I moan as I melt back on the sofa. My doe eyes are five times as wide as I watch this goddess, kiss, lick and suck my breasts. I do as she says when Alexia commands me to grab the arm of the sofa. My slender body elongates as I feel a familiar pulsation between my legs.

Alexia keeps licking and sucking until I come. Her eyes glowing as I watch and moan, "Oh, Alex–" Her full name escapes me as I squeeze my eyes shut and let go.

"Mm mm," Alexia hums her disapproval as she kisses down my body. "Keep your eyes on me. I want you to see the difference."

"The difference?" I whimper as Alexia caresses my hips before peeling off my bottoms.

I feel embarrassed as Alexia rakes her fingers through my pubic hair. I trim here and there, but it's not exactly like I was expecting company. Despite this, I don't break my gaze. My entire body is on fire and the only relief are Alexia's beautiful eyes.

She keeps her eyes on me as she tugs at the tuft of hair. Her pink tongue lapping and swirling against my clit as I grip the arm of the chair taking steady breaths.

"Oh God," I moan, each time I come.

I'm a broken record on repeat, until Alexia is sucking on my clit. My legs on her shoulders, her two fingers sliding inside me words are lost to me. My mouth is open. I'm sure my expression is pleading for more but the only sound is her pleased hums that vibrate against me.

"Mmm hmm," Alexia moans my most sensitive area between her lips as she nods up and down and I melt.

In my mind, I scream Alexia's name. But in reality, all I can say is "Ah!" as I arch my back, possessed by lust as I bend into her in a powerful orgasm that makes my body shake.

Alexia doesn't stop until I do. Her face drenched in my essence Alexia looks down at my twitching and whimpering as she licks around her full lips.

"Was that nice?" She asks me.

Words fail me. That was–everything but. I can't breathe. I'm aching for more. More kisses. More orgasms. More Alexia, a tired excitement filling me as she stands.

"God, I'm starving," She groans, saying nothing more before leaving the room.

I don't know how long it took me to regain my composure, but Alexia is mid-way through her meal when I find her at the kitchen table devouring her food. Her elegant exterior a world away she eats with her hands in an animalistic state, sucking chicken grease from the same fingers she had inside me some time before.

There's something about it that makes me weak in the knees. The doorframe keeping me on my feet as Alexia calls to me without looking.

"I wasn't expecting you up so soon," She remarks, using her fork to shovel a large scoop of race into her mouth. "I must be rusty."

Speaking with her mouth full, I still find this woman to be the most attractive person I had ever laid eyes on. My body aching for her as with confusion in my voice I reply, "You left?"

Alexia's eyes meet mine, "I was finished." She declares in a dismissive tone that paired with her piercing gaze makes me suddenly hyper-aware that I am still naked.

I race from the awkward shame that is creeping at the edges of my mind. My arms wrapped around my body as I sheepishly question, "You um... you don't want me t–"

"No," Alexia interjects before I can complete my sentence. "Will you be joining me for dinner or should I pack your plate away while you freshen up."

Alexia Fairchild speaks in directives. Her questions never truly options. I feel like she's banishing me to my bedroom. As if she had gotten all that she had needed and now can't even bring herself to look at me as she returns her attention to the food in front of her.

"I–" I attempt to laugh away my discomfort. "I kinda feel used..."

"I don't see how," Alexia doesn't look at me. "I was the one pleasuring you. Maybe you're just greedy, Lilah."

I rush back to the quiet safety of my bedroom. Flustered and embarrassed, I–what did I just do? Why did I just do that?

I rush to the shower, scrubbing my skin but it doesn't make me feel any cleaner. It doesn't make me want her any less. I–I feel like I crave her. My head is spinning when I walk back into the bedroom. My heart frozen mid-beat when the phone begins to vibrate on the desk.

I know it's Lucca. He's the only person who ever calls me. But I don't know what I would even begin to say to him. What did I do...?

My mind goes blank when I feel a pair of delicate hands at my waist. Alexia's lips on the back of my shoulder she mutter's.

"You're no fun, Lilah..."

"What?" I squeak, sure this is some kind of fucked up dream.

"You're no fun," Alexia repeats as her hands travel up to my small breasts that sit comfortably in the palm of her hand. "You weren't supposed to leave..." She says easing down the towel.

I told my breath as I remind Alexia that she had called me greedy. For wanting her. For wanting more. Her giggle almost taunts me as she says, "Apparently not enough. Do you want me Lilah," Alexia whispers, sending thrill chills down my spine as I feel her bare breasts push against my back.

"Yes," I feel awful, staring ahead at my phone dancing on the desk, but anything else would be a lie.

Alexia slips her fingers into my mouth. Her voice is enchanting as I instinctively suck, hanging on to her every word.

"Do you need me Liliah?" She whispers and I don't think I've ever needed anything more as she glides the tips of her fingers down my body.

"Yes," I whimper, relieved when my phone stops ringing.

"Say it," Alexia dips her fingers between my waiting thighs. "Say you need me."

"I need you," I feel weak in the knees as she holds tight and glides against me.

Alexia effortlessly leaves me undone. Her fingers traveling back to my mouth, she lets me taste my excitement, slinking around my body and pressing them down on my tongue bringing me to my knees.

I kneel before the goddess in front of me. Her body pure perfection, a minimal tattooed leo symbol resting at her hip reminds me that she is not just any woman. She is the woman that my best friend can't bring himself to admit he still loves. Her first and only tattoo, a marking from their shared past.

I focus on it. Alexia naked before me, I know we are far past the point of no return but I don't know what comes next. I'm unsure if I even care as she tilts my chin to look in her beautiful eyes.

"Lilah..."

My name on those lips is a spell that melts my resolve and clears my mind of consequence. "What are you doing to me?" I whimper as Alexia lifts her leg onto my shoulder.

"My greedy girl," She smirks down at me. "I'm giving you what you wished for," she says, guiding my face to her well and as I drink from her fountain, I grip her body knowing there is no way in hell I'll ever let go. 

WC: 3207

Thank you for reading The Sluts Guide to Romance. Don't forget to like, share and comment to tell me what you thought about the chapter.

Looking for a new ONC read? Check out  @BrianMullin0 Liar, Lover, Lunatic.

Oisin O'Malley is the victim of a two-timing liar and a Divine Work Force F***up: declared dead before his time. He finds aid in the Moon God Tsukiyomi - whom he's fantasized about since childhood. To uncover the reason for his attempted murder, and expose an eager beaver Reaper in the DWF, he'll need all the help he can get.