!!! super trigger warning on this chap 

"Mash, get behind me!" I yelled, automatically raising the hunting rifle just above my shoulder, aiming at Chad with my finger already on the trigger.

Masha crawled toward me like her life depended on it, clumsily raising her own hunting rifle and pointing it at Chad. I could see it in her face that she was confused as hell, but she still chose my side, no questions asked.

With both our rifles at pointed at him, Chad looked at us one by one. And for the first time, I couldn't read the expression on his face.

We grew up with Chad. We were born in the same hospital, attended the same school, played on the same grass, and grew up in the same island. Just like the others, I thought I had him figured out—every grin and crazy whim. But I was wrong. Dead wrong. 

"One wrong move and one of us will end you." I meant every word.

"Jordan, magkaibigan tayo . . . wala akong gagawing masama sa inyo," Chad said with a soft yet serious tone, eyes remained on mine. He then raised both of his eyebrows, emphasizing how he was slowly lowering his gun.

Gustong-gusto kong paniwalaan siya pero kailangan kong manigurado lalo't buhay namin ni Masha ang nakataya.

"Gun on the floor, Chad." My grip on the rifle grew tighter. I couldn't even dare to blink.

"Okay." Chad nodded, taking a deep breath as he gently laid the gun on the floor.

"Stand up! Stand up straight! Taas mo na rin kamay mo, Chad!" Masha yelled, trying hard to look menacing even if her voice was clearly cracking. She then looked at me again, and this time I could feel her screaming questions with only her eyes.

I focused all of my attention to Chad and the rifle on my hands.

Tears were filling up my eyes for reasons I don't even know. It felt as if my heart was already up my throat. I took a deep breath and held the rifle closer.

"Alam ko na ang lahat, Chad!" Inalabas ko ang galit sa bawat salita. 

I don't know shit. I'm confused as hell. Part of me wants to believe that he's the good friend that we grew up with, but part of me is already doubting everything I know about him. Might as well throw a bait and try my luck.

"Paano mo nagawa sa amin 'to?!" dagdag ko pa.

Chad froze where he stood. His lips parted and trembled as if words couldn't come out from his mouth. I then noticed how his eyes began to turn red and watery.

Seeing him look so vulnerable made my heart hurt. Gone was the flirty, happy-go-lucky guy who always had a grin up his face.

"Akala ko ba magkaibigan tayo?" My voice came out soft and broken. "Chad . . . bakit mo nagawa sa amin 'to? Anong kasalanan namin sa 'yo?"

Chad shook his head profusely, and this time, I could finally read the emotions written all over his face. Pain. 

"Wh-what did you do?" Narinig kong suminghap si Masha. "Shit. Chad . . . What did you do?"

Mariing pumikit si Chad at napasapo sa kanyang magkabilang sentido. Tumingala siya at umiling-iling na tila ba may winawakli sa kanyang isipan.

"Putangina, Chad! Anong ginawa mo?!" Umalingawngaw ang iyak ni Masha. Ramdam ko ang matinding takot sa boses niya. Gaya ko, naging desperado na siya sa mga kasagutan.

"Gusto ko lang maging masaya tayo sa islang 'to!" Dumilat si Chad at kasabay nito ang kanyang pagpadyak. Nag-unahan sa pagpatak ang kanyang mga luha hanggang sa wala na kaming ibang narinig maliban sa malakas niyang pag-iyak.

Napalingon si Masha at sa pagkakataong iyon ay napatingin ako sa kanya. Nagkatinginan ang mga mata naming litong-lito bago bumalik muli kay Chad.

"Y-You want us to be happy?" Nakunot ang noo ko. "You think this is happy?! Richard, people are turning into monsters in their sleep!" Muling sumiklab ang matindi kong galit. Sa sobrang galit, tuluyang pumatak ang mga luha ko. Unti-unting nakukumpirma ang mga suspetsa ko . . . ang kinatatakutan ko. 

"This island was already full of monsters!" Chad screamed, almost kneeling on the floor as he cried harder. His face was burning red and I could see the veins popping out all over his neck. "The adults do nothing but teach us how to hate! Make us feel like shit! Use religion to justify their cruelty! All of they do is hurt and drive you guys away! I'm sick of it! I'm so fucking sick of everyone making life this hard to live!"

I felt numb as I watched Chad pour his heart out. Like him, tears kept rolling down my face. I couldn't believe what I was seeing . . . what I was hearing.

"The cycle repeats over and over and over again!" Chad yelled with gritted teeth as he punched and punched his own palm. "Araw-araw iba't ibang buhay ang pinagpipiyestahan! Araw-araw kung kani-kaninong buhay ang pinapakialaman! Sinisira! Oras na may magawa kang mali sa paningin nila, pagtutulungan ka ng lahat! Kahit wala kang ginawang masama, gagawin pa rin nilang impyerno ang buhay mo! Alam ninyo ang ibig kong sabihin! Alam na alam ninyo!"

The grip I had on the rifle loosened as my heart grew tighter and tighter. I found myself looking up at the ceiling, biting my lips as I tried to hold my sobbing.

"Remember what they did to Tina and the other kids like her?! How they openly ridiculed her and told her that she will burn in hell? For crying out loud, she was just a little kid! Isipin n'yo nga! Mga matatanda na sinasabihan ang isang bata na mapupunta siya sa impyerno! At ako? Kasali ako sa mga nangutya sa kanya noong mga bata pa tayo, kaya ngayon nagagalit ako sa sarili ko kung bakit ako gumaya sa kanila!" Suminghap si Chad. "And how about that girl when we were in second grade? The one who was abused by her own father? The adults kept saying they felt bad for her, but apparently, not bad enough to stop looking at her like she was some dirty kid! Not bad enough to keep their mouths shut and help her continue to live a normal life!"

"At si Mang Hener!" Marahas na winasiwas ni Chad ang kanyang kamay. "Si Mang Hener na namatayan ng anak at nasira ang buong pamilya! Imbes na tulungan siyang makabangon, anong ginawa nila? Hayun, pinangalanan siyang Senggo at tinuring na isang basura!"

Gusto ko nang takpan ang tenga't mga mata ko. The past was painful to hear . . .  and it's even more painful because all along, we had no idea how much it scarred Chad.

"'Yong matandang babaeng mag-isang nakatira malapit sa lighthouse? Naalala n'yo ba siya? Naalala n'yo ba kung paano siya pinagbintangang isang mangkukulam? Kung paano siya inalipusta ng mga tao kahit saan man magpunta? Kahit mga bata pumunta sa bahay niya para lang batuhin siya ng kung ano-ano! At hanggang ngayon, ni hindi pa nalalaman kung sino ba ang lecheng pumatay sa kanya! At alam n'yo anong mas malala?"

Tuluyang napahagulgol si Masha. "Natuwa ang mga tao sa pagkamatay niya . . . "

"It's still open. P-Papa's not giving up on the case. . . " My voice broke into a sob. "Papa tried his best to—"

"Tried his best to what? Compare you to PJ and make you feel small just because you're a girl?" putol ni Chad sa sinasabi ko, dahilan para matigilan akong muli. "Tangina, Jordan! Ilang beses ka bang naisugod sa clinic dahil lang sa gusto mong talunin si PJ sa kung ano-anong bagay? 4th year high school, sa akin ka pa lumapit para magpaturo paano mag-drive dahil ayaw kang turuan o payagan man lang ng papa mo."

"Chad . . . " Walang emosyong sambit ni Masha. Sa sobrang hina ng kanyang boses, tila ba naging bulong lang ito sa hangin.

Biglang bumaling si Chad kay Masha. "When everyone thought you were pregnant, all they did was harass and call you a slut! And when your dad left you and your mom for some other woman? What did all those people do to you, huh?! Fuck! You almost threw yourself off a cliff because of them! What if I wasn't there to stop you that night?! What if no one was there to talk you out of it?!"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa narinig at mabilis akong nagbaba ng tingin kay Masha.

"M-Mash, anong pinagsasabi niya . . . " Pakiramdam ko'y tinakasan ako ng lakas sa buong katawan, lalo na nang makita kong nakatulala na si Masha habang patuloy sa pagluha. "M-Mash! Ginawa mo ba talaga 'yon?!"

"It happened two years ago." Mapait na ngumiti si Chad sa akin. "You weren't here because this island got in your head too. They hurt you so bad that you chose to disappear. They hurt you too, like what they did to your brother, to Gil, to Lincoln, Bogart, and everyone else! "

Napansin kong dumako ang tingin ni Chad kung saan naroroon ang mga bangkay. Tuluyang napahagulgol si Chad habang nakatingin sa mga ito. "Like what they did to them . . . "

Humahangos kong tinaas at hinawakan ulit nang mahigpit ang rifle. Masakit man sa kalooban, wala akong magawa kundi itutok iyon kay Chad at pasimpleng tumingin sa paligid.

Chad didn't come from the door we used to enter the garage. He used the other door at the corner of the room, and he left it open. The garage had a total of three doors—the one we used, the one Chad used, and then the huge roll up door for the cars.

"You understand me, right?" Chad's voice cracked. It sounded like he was begging for me to understand him. "J-Jordan, you understand me, right?"

Truth be told, I really had no idea what the hell was going on before talking to Chad. I just got lucky that he fell for my bluff and spilled his truth.

I shook my head, smiling bitterly though my tears as I clenched my fists. "You're a hypocrite, Chad . . .  and you're really fucking stupid too. You're sick of the monsters in this island? Putangina! Ang daming inosenteng namatay dahil sa kung anong pinakalat mo sa islang 'to! Pati pamilya mo—"

"My family only cares about money!" Chad argued and sobbed out loud. "They take advantage of everyone! Steal other people's land! Sabotage competitors, even their own partners! You have no idea what they did just to have this whole mansion built! They storm-proofed this place but they keep shoving away evacuees who only want shelter! They're monsters too, just like the rest! This generation of hate and greed needs to stop! This virus is a reset! The bad can't be all wiped out, but this is the reset! Sacrifices must be made for the greater good! We'll learn from their mistakes! We'll stop the cycle of hate and abuse! The new generation of this island will live happily without judgements! Without monsters!"

"You're one big monster too!" My body stiffened as I screamed my heart out. "You act like you care about us, but you don't! Look at us! Look at Masha! And oh my God, that orphanage! Chad, innocent little kids were slaughtered! Pia was killed by her own father! Kuya Vito died—"

"That wasn't part of our plan!" Chad shook his head profusely. "Believe it or not, this isn't part of our plan! I only helped them spike our bottles because they had specific targets! You weren't supposed to get hurt! I even prepared this party to make sure you guys wouldn't get hurt until they hand out the cure! We were supposed to be safe here!"

"Our plan?" I gasped.

Chad looked at paramedics' dead bodies again. A sob escaped from his lips as he uttered, "S-Someone's changing our plans . . . the monsters were supposed to be the main targets."

"The monsters . . . " Chad's words echoed inside my head as memories of my father bleeding to death flashed before my eyes. "Papa wasn't the best father but he was far from being a monster! He helped! He tried to help! How could you do that to him?!"

"They love your Dad!" Marahas na tinuro ni Chad ang mga bangkay. "I think he's a semi-piece of shit for how he treated you, but those fuckers? He is their savior! He would never do anything to hurt him! They even tried to abduct you to keep you safe until this shit blows off, pero ayaw mong inumin yung tubig na may pampatulog! You don't remember them, but they were born and raised in this fucked up island too!"

It played out in my head again . . .  how the paramedics were so nice to me . . . and how that one girl insisted for me to drink the bottled water. And then all of a sudden, a horrifying thought came across my mind.

I bit my lip, trying to stop them from trembling. I took a deep breath as I mustered up all the courage that's left in my sinking heart.

"Si Papa . .  . " Napalunok ako at muling napahikbi. "Alam ba 'to ni Papa? Alam niya ba ang tungkol sa pinaggagawa n'yo? S-Si PJ, kasali rin ba siya?! Tangina, sabihin mo sa akin sino ang mga kasabwat ninyo!

Ayokong pag-isipan ng masama si Papa, pero pagkatapos ng mga narinig ko mula kay Chad? Hindi ko na alam kung sino ang dapat kong pagkatiwalaan.

"Aayusin ko 'to, okay?" Chad smiled at me reassuringly, tears still streaming down his face. "May bunker malapit dito si lolo, pumunta kayo doon. Walang kuryente kaya mula sa labas lang pwedeng buksan ang garage door. Tingnan n'yo sa taas, may maliit na glass panel sa kisame na pwede n'yong daanan—"

"Shit! Door!" Umalingawngaw ang napakalakas na sigaw ni Masha. Napalingon kami at laking gulat namin nang makita ang pagpasok ng isang lalake mula sa pintong dinaanan ni Chad. Wala mang kaemo-emosyon ang mukha, bakas sa bilis at dahas ng lakad nito ang matinding galit.

I didn't know who the guy was, but judging from his flashy clothes, it's obvious he was from the party. 

The guy wasn't alone, he was followed by another girl who was wearing a short black dress. Followed by another, and another, and another. That was when I realized that it was over. The party was over. The entire mansion has completely turned into a death trap.

"Akyat na bilis! Ako na ang bahala rito!" sigaw ni Chad. Ang isang kamay niya ay nakaturo sa kisame, samantalang ang kabila naman ay dali-daling pinulot ang rifle niyang nasa sahig.

Chad has done something monstrous but I could still feel it in my heart that he genuinely wanted to protect us at that very moment. That he doesn't want Masha and I to get hurt. 

With the little bit of trust I have left for Chad, inalis ko ang pagkakatutok ng baril sa kanya. Dali-dali kong hinila ang isang monobloc chair at isinentro ito sa direksiyon ng glass panel na itinuro niya.

"Mash, you're taller! Climb up the chair and open the latch!" I almost couldn't recognize my own voice with how panicked I was.

Tumango si Masha at dali-daling umakyat, ako naman ay mahigpit na humawak sa upuan bilang alalay.

Napatingin ako kay Chad. He was covering Masha and I with his own body. He was standing firmly, waiting for the sleepwalkers to come closer to have a better aim. He had an expert grip on the rifle but I could still tell how scared he was from the way his hands trembled.

Galit na galit ako kay Chad dahil sa ginawa niya, pero hindi ko pa rin mapigilang maawa sa kanya. None of us paid enough attention to notice how everything was affecting him. We were supposed to be his friends and we failed him badly.

We all just saw him for his antics and wealth, never the empathy and scars in his heart. Just like the others, he was a victim of the island too.

"It's open! I'll climb up!" Masha gasped from above me.

"Shhh! Madam Laura could be there! Shh!" taranta kong paalala sabay abot sa kanya ng rifle niya para ito ang una niyang mailabas sa bintana. "Step on my shoulder for a leg up!"

"Are you sure?!" Pabulong na bulalas ni Masha.

I looked up at her and nodded profusely, patting my shoulder strongly just to assure her. Kunwari na lang na hindi masakit.

All of a sudden, Chad started shooting. Sa sobrang lapit ng mga sleepwalker, tagumpay silang natamaan sa ulo. 

"Go go go!" Hindi ko mapigilang mataranta lalo. Chad just started shooting, which means the sounds will surely attract more sleepwalkers. And it's not like we could shut the door right away with the other sleepwalkers coming our way.

I wanted to help Chad but I was scared that one wrong move and Masha would lose a footing. 

Gusto kong magmura nang malakas sa pag-apak ni Masha sa balikat ko, pero tiniis ko na lamang ang matinding sakit.

"Chad, sino ang mga kasabwat mo?!" bulalas ko bago pa man mahuli ang lahat. "Sabihin mo na sino ang mga kasabwat mo!"

"Shit! I'm out of bullets!" sigaw ni Chad na halos magtatalon na sa sobrang tindi ng sitwasyon.

"Ito! Ito! Kunin mo!" sabi ko naman sabay turo sa hunting rifle na hawak ko sa isang kamay. "Mash, how are you doing there?! Can you pull yourself up?!"

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at nakita kong nakahawak na si Masha sa mismong gilid ng glass panel. She was almost there, but she was just struggling to lift her body up.

"Chad, help me raise Masha up! Kulang ang height ko!" I don't know how we would do it, desperado na lang talaga akong mas maingat si Masha. "Chad—"

Umalingawngaw ang napakalakas na tili ni Masha kasabay ng paggaan ng mga balikat ko. Pare-pareho kaming nag-angat ni Chad ng tingin at maging kami ay nagsigawan na rin nang makitang may humihila na kay Masha paakyat at palabas ng bintana.

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