30 | CONS (OF YOU)

1. you never came for any of my shows.

2. i should have known that you were going to be a car crash the moment you told me how her eyes twinkled under the fluorescent lights of the cafeteria. like two stars, burning, you admired her shining eyes from afar. i try not to cast my eyes downwards, ashamed that i do not possess the same fiery passion that she does, apologise under my breath for having muddy brown eyes that you could, at best, mistake for a coffee stain on your crumpled sheet of homework.

3. my favourite colour was yellow ochre. or just yellow, i would tell you when your eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. just yellow is fine, i didn't want to make it hard for you to remember.

4. you couldn't remember, still.

5. in class, your hand would slip past teachers, edge past my stationary, tip-toe under the noses of our classmates and into mine. only then you would squeeze my palm gently, to let me know you were there. i tried to erase her face off the whiteboard, but her shining eyes still remained, sending me a knowing look.

6. i think i saw her smile in your eyes.

7. i had had enough, i told you. but you told me not to raise my voice in public. there were people from school here and you didn't want people to get the wrong idea.

8. i will go to sleep tonight with your smile in mind, and come morning sun, i would know that i had wasted my time.

9. you tell me that i'm beautiful. i wondered what you meant by that. you said that i already knew the answer. do i?