Title: The Catastrophic Whims Of Kismet

Author: thefairyphenomenon
Reviewer: trollqueen_780
Number of chapters I read: 5-6

Title:
 The title is unique and it caught my eye effectively. It does stand out compared to others. Good job.

Cover:
 The cover is good. But, I think it needs a bit resizing. It doesn't occupy the whole slot, plus the title isn't clearly visible in one glance. Maybe try bold letters or lessening the word gap. The title seems a bit chaotic in the cover, not in a good way. Otherwise, the graphics are great. It does mystify me as to what you have to say in the story.

Blurb: 
Ah, here is where I wanted to point a few things out. I was intrigued about your general idea for the story. I felt a connection with the main characters at that moment which is really good. I felt relatable to them which helps you. Although, you give away most of the personality of the characters. I have observed that many people do this. Yes, adding adjectives helps readers understand the character through the blurb, but it would be better if you let them discover it through your writing.

Eg: If Ivan acts in a calculative and practical way, I'll not only get to know about his personality, but would also catch a glimpse of your writing potential.

Your blurb is beautifully crafted, it makes me wonder about what the book holds for me, but there's a slight room for improvement. Try adding a few questions and keep Fate and Kismet a mystery and don't show them as characters just in the blurb itself. Even though, I must say, this is one of the most amazing blurbs I have come across.

Storyline:
 The story is unique and none like I have seen. I was glad that this isn't the usual cliché love stories about a dreamy and a practical phenomenon. Use this for your benefit. Your uniqueness is your strength. I felt the easy flow of conversation between them Ivan and Ileana. The way they think about each other, though same in thoughts, they have different perspectives. The way that he describes the lady is simply beautiful and refreshing. Their budding relationship is extremely grippy and made me smile. Kudos on your work for that.

The story is woven intricately. But, I couldn't help but feel a bit monotonous in the later parts. It slows down a bit. I have no problem with slow burn relationships, but an inconsistency in the story development can prove fatal to your work. Also, adding a bit more dialogue wont hurt, but this quantity is sufficient.

Grammar: I am not going to comment much here as it is an established fact that you have a strong command over your vocabulary. Your use of words is vast and yet completely understandable to the major amount of readers, keeping them awed all the time.

Although, I did notice a few punctuation errors here and there. But it is alright. It can be improved easily even if you once skim through the chapters quickly. The blurb too should be read like that again, please don't add unnecessary commas. (Don't worry, happens with the all the time.)

Writing style: There are three major points over here:

I observed that you tend to use a lot of metaphor while explaining what the characters are feeling, experiencing or think. It simply captivated my on how you vividly portray a picture for your readers with ease. It is truly commendable, keep it up. Although, here's the catch, you are walking on thin ice over here. I know, reading all the comments encouraging your metaphoric words makes you use them more. But don't overdo it. Right now, you are doing it in ample amount so it suits you. This is a point anyone would seldom point out, but is extremely crucial. Beware, otherwise you can go from:  

Her ethereal beauty gyrated me toward her like a moth to fire, burning me into willing submission and into a state of violent bliss.

to,

I saw the crumpled paper going away just like my broken future was after getting pregnant and being left. The paper was me.

Note: None of the above are from any book, I've just made them up.

No! We are not going there. Trust me, I've experienced it. It seems odd, out of place and the same metaphors that the readers once demanded seem annoying for them. I have learned this the hard way. Instead, let the plot develop and use your words to propel the plot ahead.

Again, the their relationship develop through an honest conversation that hooks on the reader. This helps them understand why they fancy each other, why they are 'meant to be together' and are they compatible or not. I didn't feel the hype after all the metaphors. Your made me think about how great she was after all the things in which Ivan had narrated her to be. But as a person who doesn't know her, she seemed pretty normal to me, leaving me unimpressed.

The role of Fate and Kismet should be highlighted more. Make a prologue or dedicate more chapters for them. This is where you separate your work from all the plethora of romances on Wattpad. Use it. Again, your uniqueness is your strength. Don't let a good idea go in wain. Without getting to know them, as a reader, I don't find anything different in your story.

Characters: 
Your characters are unique and lively. Relatable, which is in your benefit. You can improve the way they interact with each other. No worries. Your book is still on going so you can easily add these things. A room for improvement still remains, but hey, it does for all of us. Nonetheless, I loved them. Hurray!

Overall effect: 
Your story does have a long lasting effect and sure is so much better than mine and many others. I kept on pondering about Fate and the ambiguity in its working that you have mentioned flawlessly. I like that even after creating a major depiction about certain things you make sure to leave a window open for the readers to think. Your idea is amazing, can't seem to stop mentioning that. I loved the way I got short glimpses of what they feel for each other and it made me coo melodramatically (*laughs awkwardly*) Your story can age well, I can feel it in my gut. Keep going on.

Quick tips (Specially for you):

*You can use your word capacity in developing the plot more instead of creating everything of a specific moment. Readers don't mind that.

*Make sure your titles are alright. You can just mention at the starting whose POV it is and give the title a unique name or just plain numbers. Simply naming it as the POV seems a bit bland.

*Please keep your chapter length a bit similar. A few extra hundred words never hurt, but please don't make some really short and some really long. Maintain consistency.

*Please don't take my advice on the metaphor part if you don't feel so, I would hate it if it makes a negative impact on your writing. If you don't feel the same, kindly leave it, no worries. Just let me know.

Reviewer's Note:
 Your story was refreshing and non-cliché. Keep up with that. I would love to see what happens ahead and how Fate and Kismet play along in their story. Create a stronger tug between them. Like them having a bet about the two mortals, Kismet or Fate altering their relationship or cheating. Just spice things up a bit. Right now, the story is fine. But make sure to raise the stakes later on. Hope so this helped.

PM me if you have any doubts, help you need (Although I doubt an author like you would need any.). My PMs are always open. Now and even months later. Make sure to get as much help as you can from this community, we are here to help you. Hope to read ahead. Stay safe!

-Mia. x

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