Name of the book:Blue and Music
Name of the author:write_blue
Number of chapters read:12
Reviewer:trollqueen_780

Title: 
'Blue And Music' suits your story and also highlights the character in a different way, good job.

Cover: 
The cover is good, but I think you can get a better one from the cover shops available on this platform. The thin font lines seem to blend with the picture making it difficult to catch a glimpse of the title. The font size seems to vary and doesn't highlight the title or your name on the book. Please fix that, it would help attract far more readers to your work.

Blurb: 
Honestly? Your blurb didn't give me a vibe that the book had a unique idea enwrapped in it. This needs immediate attention. As a stand alone, the current blurb is alright, but as a reader if I have plenty of other options to choose from, why would I choose your book? Think about that and fix it and let the readers know the 'it' factor of your book. A blurb is supposed to make me wonder why I should read your book, it's basically a sneak peek inside your idea and it should leave me wanting for more. No worries, the format that you used to show your idea was good and often seems to work in the genres of chicklit and romance. But it's the wordings that didn't amuse me. You just take that point in a good way, people like you and me need to work on this aspect a lot, so no need to feel bad, it develops with time and gradual improvement.

Storyline: 
Your storyline seems to deal with Ashley and her dealings with her traumatic past, for which, her classmates seem to blame her. Enter 'The Pulse' a band and this is when her life takes a drastic turn. Xander takes a keen interest in her and then this propels the story ahead. Good job, would love to find out how this story unravels further. Now, the main point, your story seems a bit cliché. Not that I have a problem with that, mostly chicklit stories follow this stream of thought. They are molded in a definite shape. But if you need your story to stand out, better up your game, pal. I like the flow of your story, although it seems a bit too forced sometimes. No worries, you'll develop the skill over time. Although, please work on describing your characters more. I need to know them as a reader in order to imagine their interactions. Hope you make a note of this point ahead in your plot. Hope it unravels well in the future.

Grammar:
 I can't find any words to lay this low easy. This field needs a whole lot of effort. I cringed hard at all the mistakes that I found since the first chapter. Innumerable punctuation errors accompanied by grammar mistakes is a recipe for disaster. As a reader, I kind of lose the will to read further if the first chapter itself has so many errors.

The was the night rain fell...the thunder stroms and the scary lightenings. I remember that night...the night i lost them

We were all inside having our dinner.

...what's his doing with a gun.

He had an evil smirk on his face the one I have never seen on his face since i met me.

Every damn thing. They have thrown at me.

The feel in love and it was the cutest sight.

These are some of the errors in the FIRST chapter itself! I lost my will to read, to be honest. Your story remains undiscovered due to this partial follies and your work is turned aside. Fix these before updating the next chapter. You can spot several such errors in other chapters too. They need to be tended to as early as possible. There are many spelling mistakes too.

Writing Style: 
Your writing style is pretty basic, which is good considering that it is easy for people to enjoy the book lightheartedly. I like the way it flows and simplicity is divine. But, there are three main points you should focus on if you want to reach better heights.

I have seen this in many rookie books and it sets me off. On this platform, after reading books by many established writers I feel underwhelming when you just paste photos of dresses, rooms and hairstyles. You are writing a book, not showing it. You are disrupting my imaginative process that helps me feel the story more. By just showing me a room, you are also establishing the fact that you are not good at explaining the dynamics of a room to me. This reflects negatively. As a writer, the way you describe things shows me your true potential, it is in the little details that you write. Scrap those photos immediately if you want to be a better writer. Such books have gained popularity, but no serious opportunities on this platform.

The way you add '......' after every five lines breaks my train of thought. If you want to show pauses, there are other ways. Usage of commas, full stops (a single one) and simply words can convey that to the reader. You can use your way a couple of times, but seeing those constant full stops many times, irks a reader a lot. You need to fix that.

Make bigger paragraphs with proper spacing.

Characters: 
You have a basic array of characters. They make me feel comfort and I are likeable. A bit more insight in their minds while introducing them wont hurt. Try to work on that, otherwise, good job.

Overall effect: 
The story was okay, I guess. It leaves a good impression in the end. Good job with that. Although I don't find any particular reason a random reader would prefer this one against other such stories. You need to up your game and don't worry, I feel you are capable of it. Gook luck!

Quick tips (Just for you):

*Read newspapers, books to improve your vocab, it helps tons to add the 'it' factor to the book.

*Read other books of this genre (not saying plagiarize) but get an idea of how things go down. How words flow efficiently and swiftly.

*Get an editor or edit your chapters on your own. No need to hit the 'Publish' button real quick. Let it sit in the drafts and revisit again. You will find errors or get better ideas so you can incorporate them and improve the effect your chapter would have on the future readers.

*Do not get discouraged due to one harsh review. My reviews are insightful in all aspects, good and bad, of a said story. That's what a critique is about so take this in a positive manner.

Reviewer's Note:
 I get the idea that this is your first book. So no need to fret, we all are learning. Your book has potential, just needs a bit of work. Also, everyone (especially me) make the errors that I have mentioned above. So no need to feel ashamed about it, instead be happy that you are improving. Keep going and your work will improve. All the best!

You can PM me now, a month later or basically at anytime regarding any help for your book. I am always open for discussion. No need to shy away from this, I would be honored to help. I can help you brainstorm about the ideas or various presentation techniques. Hope this helps. Stay safe!

-Mia. X

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