HOBI POV:

Three days pass in horrific devastated silence, a chill, a hush that seems to have descended onto our house and to each and every one of us. Where the crew had been the ones to turn the boat around after calling in to the rescue services, after hours of searching the waters had brought nothing, no sight of her.

As if (Y/N) had fallen into the waters and vanished, tugged into its deep depths and pulled away from us. I couldn't get out the sound of Yoongi hyung's guilty devastated sobs, can't forget how hard it had been to get him to stand up from the deck, where he'd continued to kneel her shoe clutched tightly in his hand, face blotchy and streaked with tears and grief in his eyes.

Couldn't forget the feeling of my heart stopping as I'd heard the splash, had rushed to the edge to feel a brush against my side as Jungkook had dived after her, almost immediately, and yet when he'd surfaced it had been with wide panicked eyes and a chest heaving for breath and arms painstakingly, glaringly empty.

It was if the splash was the sound of the fabric of time tearing. Time stilling and each second passing by like sludge, thick tar that clung onto us, kept us in that moment- reliving that moment of her body hitting the water, of that look of almost relief that had been on (Y/N)'s face.

I couldn't get her pleas out off my ears, whenever the room trailed off into silence, or when I lay in bed, or had any moment of being lost to my thoughts- they'd return to plague me with her voice begging, crying and screaming for it to stop, for everything to stop and then how her voice had lost all strength, all the fight petering off into whispered cries.

We had all dreamt of what moment would come when spoke, I'd envisioned the most bright sweetest smile on her face, eyes bright and sparkling and those rosy lips parting not in silent expression but to speak.

Every one of us had grown to crave the idea, had begun to fantasise and wonder just what it would be that would draw her out of her selective muteness, what situation it would be, jealously contemplating who would be the lucky one she spoke to.

And yet we had heard her voice. In a way no-one imagined or could wish for. It plagued me.

The way her voice was strung and tight and hoarse. The way her voice was full of agony, high and pained and tormented- the pain of trauma consuming her eyes.

And never did I think in my most horrific of nightmares that everything could turn into something like this.

We had messed up so, so bad.

We'd gotten so caught up in the idea of surprising her, of making her first date one she'd enjoy- that we didn't even consider she could have a fear of open water.

That when we'd intended for our first date to be memorable and one she'd never forget that it would take on such horrific implications.

And yet I'd held myself together, held the maknaes together as they stared unseeingly towards the water, voices breaking into cries as they called out for her and how Tae had slumped against the deck- drenched and defeated; clearly having dived to look for her too.

But when we'd gotten home, when we'd let ourselves into our house and moved to the living room- one phone had pinged. Just one.

And Namjoon had taken one look at his screen, eyes dull and lifeless before they'd flared with urgency, with disbelief.

That somehow (Y/N) had made it home. That she was safe.

And my knees had buckled then. Legs giving out as I sunk to the floor, sobbing with relief and sheer overwhelming gratitude that (Y/N) was safe. She was alive.

And I'd clutched at Kookie who'd sunk to the ground and crawled into my arms, his tears steadily wetting my skin.

It had been three days of texting Mi-sun and Habaek, asking how she was, whether she'd be up for us to visit, whether she'd even want us there. Three days of begging for updates no matter how small just to know she was fine, heart shattering everytime an apology came through, that we couldn't see her even via video-call.

Three days of hell.

And then another subsequent three days of more updates and yet more morose, heavier somehow. Three days of slowly crumbling and trying to hold each other together.

Three days of trying to sleep to escape her cries only to bolt awake with the smell of the sea in my nose and her screams in my ears, the resounding splash causing me to jerk awake.

Three days of watching the others wither away. Of seeing a listlessness fall with every moment we spent not truly knowing how she was, how she looked.

We didn't even know if she wanted to ever set sight on us again.

And despite how devastated and heartbroken the thought made me I also knew that if she expressed her wish to part from us, to not see us again- then no-one could fault her or blame her.

Because we'd pushed her to such an emotionally vulnerable point that she'd screamed because she couldn't take it anymore, because she broke apart.

I couldn't help beg and pray in every moment that she wouldn't flinch from us, turn away from us, cower from us- knew that if that happened then a part of us would shatter.

And I didn't know whether it would ever heal.

And so six days passed.

Six days as everyone tried to busy themselves to shut the thoughts out.

Six days of Jin hyung batch-cooking at times and being lost in thought as he tried to in others- the smell of burning and the smoke alarm going off being the only thing that drew him out of his stupor; to rush to the sink and placed the burnt pot inside. Six days of not a single joke or his famed laugh filling the halls and rooms of the house.

Six days of Yoongi hyung obsessively working at the Magic Shop, six days of early mornings and late nights- stumbling in with grief and fatigue on his features and haunted eyes. Six days of coming home with a piece of music clutched in his hands tightly, sometimes a cassette, sometimes a vinyl and he held onto it as if it was the only thing keeping him together, as if the moment someone pulled it away, he'd shatter. And the haunting tendrils of music floating about the house, melancholic yet beautiful pieces that he listened to.

Six days of Joon looking as if his world shattered, as if every living moment he spent was with the trauma, the guilt and the grief of the final moments that replayed in our minds. Knowing that he bore the burden more because he'd been tugged away from the edge only for her to go sinking into the sea. Six days of him clutching almost feverishly at the book she'd given him, his fingers brushing over her penned words. And when he wasn't holding that book, he was pouring over others- silent tears trickling down as he read, hands too shaky to do anything except grip harder.

Six days of the maknaes clinging to each other, to me, to the others- silently offering comfort as well as seeking it. And I knew from the shadows lining their eyes that they too were having difficulty sleeping, that even sleep couldn't give them the rest they needed, craved- that could only be fulfilled by seeing her, letting our souls settle by being given the reassurance she was there. Tae had taken to flicking through photographs, staring intently at the ones she had taken- almost as if somehow the photo would change to show the person behind the lens rather than what the lens had captured. Jimin became restless and more than a few occasions I had walked into our room to see him holding the soft pink mittens in his hands, drawn close towards his chest and head bent over. Other moments he'd spent trying to instil hope and courage into us, cherishing each and every update, staring at the phone screen long after the messages came- as if it would reveal more information.

And Kookie. Kookie our boisterous energetic youngest suddenly subdued, suddenly still for long periods of time staring blankly or sometimes with pain flickering in his beautiful doe-eyes, seeking one of us out for reassurance, for the verbal confirmation that it isn't a dream, a sort of horrible delusion that (Y/N) did make it out.

And it hurts to see his lips tremble and hands clutch tightly at us for reassurance.

But any way I can help I do.

Any way we can help each other we can.

And it's surprising in a way that makes my stomach tighten with nausea and tension and fear all rolled in one when Jimin picks up his phone and jerks upright, body stiffening and shoulders drooping simultaneously.

And with a tight trembling voice speaks.

"(Y/N)... (Y/N) wants us to come." He says.

Looking as if all his prayers, all his pleas and wishes have been fulfilled. And at the same time, as if he's going to be sick, looking stunned and shocked.

And that sentence alone shatters through the fog of misery and despair, has everyone straightening up and rushing to see, to confirm with their own eyes that it's true.

That it's not a dream that'll slide through our fingers like sand.

And pushes everyone into movement, into a bubble of nervous anxious anticipation and low hum of chatter, into wondering just what it is she wants to meet us for. Whether she's okay, whether she'll be happy to have us there.

But only time will tell.

The same time that had dragged on like lifetimes these six days suddenly comes crashing down.

And now it seems like I'm not ready.

That my heart isn't ready to be torn apart.

Selfish as it is, I hope that it isn't torn. That we can have a chance.

----

The door is opened by Mi-sun who shoots a tight smile at us, trying to be polite and welcoming but it's clear by the way she fidgets at the door, by the restless posture of her body that she's raring to go rushing back inside.

She leads the way into the living room, where Habaek is sitting, the couch pulled open to turn it into a sofa bed, a light blanket drawn over him and at first I frown- (Y/N) had mentioned he'd been unwell but he hadn't gotten better?

But when we approach it's clear that it's not him who's unwell, it's the curled-up figure leaning into him from where she lies between his legs, head resting against his chest.

I feel the others freeze too when we catch our first full sight of her since nearly a week.

And find my breath catching at how much she seems to have physically changed.

Find my eyes lingering on her face, slowly observing where the shadows under her eyes are dark, the darkest I've ever seen them and a sharpness to her softly defined jaw, an unnatural sharpness related to the gaunt thinned face, the rosy lips that are tightly pressed and the scratches and bruises that mark her skin. And there had been a hollowness in her eyes, an emptiness that fills when her eyes silently rove over each of us. And despite the way she looks as if she's physically and mentally drained, pushed through her limits- I find that my heart crumbles, softens and melts when her lips curve up in the slightest of smiles- tentative and shy.

So (Y/N).

"Oh honey...you're...you're..." Jin hyung begins stepping forward and eyes aching- filled with the need to go close, to hold her but at the same time trying to hold back.

He tails off because he doesn't know how to fill the sentence, how to say what we'd all been thanking every star for.

That she was alive. Alive.

And Kookie...Kookie who'd shared a connection with her long before we'd known, the same person who found a balance with her, easing away her shyness just how she seemed to make his disappear, crumples.

Face scrunching as tears trickle down his cheeks. Shattered at just the sight of her.

"(Y/N) where were you? I searched for so long and I couldn't find you. I thought I had lost you." he says, voice shaking as he sobs, looking torn between going to her and holding her and trying to keep himself back in case she doesn't want us near.

His words make me flinch, make me want to tell him not to push questions, to push answers out of her when it's clear she's gone through a lot- I can't even begin to fathom where she got all the scrapes and bruises from.

But the wobble of (Y/N)'s own lips break me out of my reverie, Yoongi hyung going to tug Kookie back into his arms, to console and comfort our sobbing sweetheart when something happens and everyone stills.

And that something makes Kookie's knees buckle, scrabbling to reach out with a choked sob.

As if his world is tearing and making itself anew.

As if our shared world has been shaken to its very core.

(Y/N) POV:

I lean against Habaek oppa's chest, finding comfort and security in the broad width of it, dressed in another one of his large, oversized jumpers, soothed by the soft gentle scent of him and the detergent we like to use- mingling into a scent that's homely and safe.

Just like he has always been.

And it's nervousness that makes butterflies flutter in my stomach where warmth pools at the thought of seeing them after so long, needing to see them, that they were okay, that the Ocean hadn't deceived me and that I wasn't clinging onto false hope.

And I find that the thought of them, of their intrinsically different smiles and yet all carry the same tenderness and easy affection, chips away at the ice, has the internal chill slipping away a bit.

"Oppa will they...will they still want me?" I ask as he's towelling my hair dry, gently carding through each strand and massaging at my scalp as he does so, causing my head to arch into his touch, sighing at the skilful way his hand makes the tension drain away bit by bit.

He stops stilling and his hand retreats, for a moment making that panic of being alone surge inside me, until his arms go to tug him close.

"Yes. Without a doubt cherub. Because I know the hell I went through when you were gone is half of what they went through. Because they haven't heard or seen you for six whole days (Y/N), and yet they didn't stop asking for you, about you. (Y/N) these boys went through so much not knowing." He whispers to me, voice rough and laced with pain and the hands that hold me tighten as he brings himself close, as if he cannot bear to part from me, with me.

My hand grips at his intertwined hands around my torso, squeezing gently and relaxing at how the touch screams company, that I'm not alone, I'm not trapped and confined as I had been in Her waters when time became a dark endless blur.

And his words bring me hope just as much as they bring me sorrow.

The idea that they had been hurting, paining for far longer, far more than my family had has my heart shredding with agony.

And I become more impatient to see them, to put their grievances and sorrows to rest. Because I know how much pain and guilt can eat away at you, how it gnaws at your insides until nothing but a husk is left.

And I'd never wish that for them. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

And I find that knowing they're coming over, knowing that in a while I'll get to see them has me feeling more alive, more alert and present than I've felt the entire week. Has me feeling more like me, the girl I was, as if the mention of them washes away the taint of the Ocean from me in gentle waves that lovingly lap at my skin, taking away the hurt with them.

I hadn't realised how much they'd helped me, how much they meant to me, how much space they had taken up in my heart until I hear the doorbell ring and Mi-sun unnie goes to open the door, small low murmurs of voices that has me stiffening against Habaek oppa with nervous trepidation.

"You'll be fine. We're here. You're not alone. You're not there." He whispers, pressing a kiss to the back of my head.

And I know he's picked up on the small moment of blinding panic, and sets to soothe it immediately- always able to bring me back, to guide me down out of the way the fear grips me.

And when I hear the uncertain soft padding of footsteps as they grow close, see them fill my line of vision- I find my heart painfully clenching with sheer relief to see them there, whole and healthy- uninjured and looking at me with shadowed haunted eyes.

Eyes that reflect my own, that show that these past six days have been equally hard and trying for them too.

Jin speaks first, but his words trail off, as if he cannot find the voice to continue, as if the strength to speak leaves him.

But hearing him call for me, call me honey has me feeling shaky in a warm way, has me grateful that I'm sitting down. 

And his soft brown eyes look at me with guilt, with sorrow. And relief. All of them flickering in his gentle gaze.

But before I can do anything, say anything Jungkook speaks, speaking as if all the strings have been cut and he finally breathes. Speaks as the words pour out of him and he can't hold them or his emotions back.

"(Y/N) where were you? I searched for so long and I couldn't find you. I thought I had lost you." he gasps out, voice shaking and tears pour down his cheeks, looking frozen- unsure what to do.

And the emotion, thick and heavy, in his voice makes my heart ache, has tears stinging the corner of my eyes as my lips wobble.

I sit up straighter, pushing myself up so I'm not half-lying on oppa and reach out for him, feeling that my heart ached at the thought of Jungkook hurting, of him being in pain and so much fear.

"...J....Jungkookie I'm so, so sorry." I gasp out, the usual barrier that caused my throat to close up around the words had dissolved at seeing his pain, at seeing his distress and pass the initial fumble, I find that the words don't get swallowed up the blinding panic that usually held me back.

This time the words come out.

And I watch as his head jerks up, the others jolting as they hear my voice- Kookie's eyes that had been shining with tears widening and the audible choking sound he makes as he moves forward has the tears spilling down over my own cheeks.

His hands reach for mine, gripping tightly at me and I lean forward, away from Habaek oppa's chest and finding that my world doesn't teeter, it doesn't shake because I find another force stabilising me, another person righting the rocky ground under my feet.

And when he leans close, he presses our foreheads together, our shaking sobbing breaths shared in the same space.

"I'm sorry I couldn't find you. I'm sorry we created a horrible memory for you. I'm sorry that you were in so much pain that you spoke to get away. I'm sorry for it all." He sobs, tears trickling down to fall onto our intertwined hands and when I slide out of the blanket, out of the warmth of Habaek oppa's arms, to slide onto the carpet, to kneel in front of him too, knees touching.

And when his hands tighten around mine I gently lean forward, surprised but warmed when his hands let go to tug me into him, to draw me onto his lap.

"Is this okay? Is it okay for me to feel you close and safe?" he asks, trembling and sounding as if he needs this. But still not pushing me past anything I want.

I nod, tucking my head into the crook of his neck, feeling his head come to rest on mine, tears trickling onto my skin and seeping into the jumper. Hot tears. Another chip in the ice. Another crack at the layer of frost that's settled inside me.

And I don't know how long I hold him and he holds me, how long he murmurs apologies and words and thank yous into my shoulder as I hold him, brush my fingers through his hair, finding myself more and more grounded with every second that passes.

Because this...this is real. The line of heat from his own body melting and seeping into my own. The way he holds me, a firm pressure of him leaning into me and the feeling of his body under mine, his arms encircling me.

This is real.

The shuddering breaths ad puffs of air against my skin. 

The fact that he'd been so worried, so apologetic, so hurt in the same way I had been.

Because it had taken me nearly 250 years to find a mirror of myself and I'd found them.

Found it in him.

Found myself reflected in variations in the seven of them.

And it reminds me that every moment kept in the Ocean was worth it. Waking up with a raw throat and a throbbing head and wet eyes had been worth it. Saving them had been worth it.

And I regretted not a single moment of it.

And when I find myself reach a calm, it's as if the ripples of the water have come to rest. As if I've reached some sort of internal peace with myself, with who I am and what I'll do for their sake.

And when he draws back, my fingers swipe at the tears, fingers lingering on his cheek and feeling my heart expand with tenderness as he leans into it, when he meets my eyes with expressive, red-lined doe eyes to press a kiss to my palm, lips lingering.

And that at some point Habaek oppa had left, had left to give privacy and that Mi-sun unnie is gone too- the ones who had been my shadow these past three days, tied to me, hovering near me had gone, receded to give me the time and space I'd needed to sort through my feelings, to sort through everything with them.

And when he draws back, it's with fond sweetness I watch as he's tugged into Yoongi's arms, his eyes flickering with guilt and remorse as he looks at me, he and Namjoon share the same haunted expressions.

And I wonder if it's got to do with the fact that they'd been the ones closest to me.

That they had been the ones to see me fall in.

But then Tae nudges his way forward and looks at me with wide eyes- roving over me as if he wanted to commit me to memory, as if he was fearful that I wasn't real, that I'd vanish.

"I'm sorry we unknowingly hurt you pretty one." he murmurs as he presses a kiss to my forehead, lips almost tense- lines of soft heat on my skin as if expecting me to recoil but when I relax under his touch so does his lips, softening almost imperceptibly against me.

Because his touch, his familiarity around me has the others softening, sinking to the floor to form a circle around me.

"Hi sweetheart, how've you been feeling?" Hobi asks, lips trying to curve up into a smile.

But his words are soft, gentle, cautious.

Testing the waters.

And that I'm more than happy to answer.

To settle their worries and fears.

Looking as if they were scared that I didn't want them there.

"Hi Hobi...I feel much better now that I've seen you all. Now that you're all here." I say softly, head ducking down when his smile turns firmer and brighter. When the attention that falls on me is awed and amazed.

When it causes the others to smile, sweet shy smiles that slowly cause their lips to turn.

It may feel like starting anew.

But for me it feels like I'm finally making things right.

That I'm making what we grew to had, stronger and brighter.

(THERE WE GO!! AN ANGSTY HURTY, TEARY SORTA FLUFFY CHAPTER! AND LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FOUND IT! WHAT YOUR THOUGHTS WERE AND WHETHER YOU'RE DISAPPOINTED WITH WHAT TOOK PLACE THIS CHAPTER! I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR ALL YOUR THOUGHTS, REACTIONS AND JUST EVERYTHING! IT DOES FEEL LIKE STARTING ANEW BUT I PROMISE WE WILL NOT BE GOING BACK TO SQUARE ONE! THAT'S FAR TOO PAINFUL FOR EVERYONE, MYSELF INCLUDED. AND I SHED A FEW TEARS AT BABY SIREN'S PAIN THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS SO TO HEAR HER SPEAK JUST MADE MY DAY! THERE'S MORE TO COME! EVERYONE'S GOTTA UNBURDEN THEMSELVES SO THEY CAN BEGIN ON A NEW NOTE! TAKE CARE AND STAY SAFE AND ENJOY MY LOVES!)

QUESTION...A CURRENT BOTHER OF YOURS?

Mine is...I signed up to this course because my mum asked me to and I thought hey lockdown...let's be productive and I paid for it and everything and then uni started and just so much procrastination left right and centre from me! Wow...I'm super bothered with how much I procrastinate!

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3