YOONGI POV:

Her voice rings out over the deck, carrying out to sea and the cool breeze bringing the full agonising force of her begging plea to tear at my ears.

Everyone freezes, the air whipping and cutting at my skin, harsh slices of pain left behind where her words strike at me. I feel my heartbeat speed up, thudding loudly in my chest, trying to push against my skin and burst out, eyes caught and trapped by the sight of her kneeling crumpled figure on the deck, hands clamped on her ears and tears slipping down her cheeks in a cascade of grief and horror.

The air seems to snap, her words shattering the calm happy ambience and immediately descending it into an icy chill that numbs my body and makes my blood into liquid frost.

I stumble forward, urged close by the sheer pain and urgency and desperation in her words, watch as Tae sinks to the ground in front of her, face struck and shocked and worried as his large hands flit around her- unsure as to where to settle, her name spilling off his lips in a frantic prayer.

Everyone turns, the expressions freezing and sliding off as everyone moves forward, tugged towards her distressed state.

But she doesn't notice or register any of us as her hands remain firmly clamped over her ears to drown sounds out, lips trembling and moving silently in a voiceless plea, tears coursing down from eyes that clench shut, body shaking and trembling.

Jin hyung doesn't waste a single moment- pushing himself out of his stupor to move to her. His panicked alarmed expression softens into something tender and gentle as he kneels behind her and not rushing her as he carefully winds his arms around her and just holds her. There's nothing said as he brings her slightly close to him, rocking the two of them in a slow motion, his head tucking hers close.

"(Y/N)..." Kookie murmurs, shifting close and leaning to place a grounding hand on her leg, rubbing soft circles, face tight with concern and biting down hard on his lip.

And yet even as we all move around her, try to offer comfort in whatever way we can, she seems to be frozen and trapped within a moment. Stuck within whatever horrifying moment she's trying to shut out.

And I'm mentally kicking myself for not clicking, for not pushing and for not sticking to my gut instinct that screamed something was stiff in the way she'd gotten onto the boat, in the way her shocked expression wasn't because of awe and wonder.

It feels like the air is punched out of my lungs, eyes unable to tear away from the sight of her. Trying and failing to comprehend what's happening or to get a grasp at the situation.

But something had triggered this response, something so shocking and strong that it had pushed her out of her silence, something so horrific it had yanked the words out her, something that had caused the internalised conflict to burst out and for the words to be torn out of her throat.

And even if we didn't know exactly what it was there was one thing that was certain was that we'd unintentionally triggered it.

There's an unhealthy pallor to her skin, as if suddenly all the warmth, all the emotions, all the life has been leeched out of her, leaving her behind as an empty husk. A shell of who I'd grown to see she was, and it's terrifying to see her unresponsive, unseeing, as if she's lost the ability to be aware of her senses.

And I know whatever has pushed her to this state is also draining her dry, because her body sways and trembles- only holding itself up through autopilot and the last draining dredges of energy and will.

My eyes desperately scan the boat, trying to see if there was something in her line of sight that was hurting her, eyes falling back onto Tae who's mumbling apologies, a constant stream of words bubbling past his lips- though for what I don't know.

"Tae-ah, stop. Focus. What happened before (Y/N)...before she..." Joon begins trailing off with a helpless look. Because none of us know what pushed her to this. No-one knows what it was that was tearing her apart, and the feeling of hopelessness and failure was sweeping in large crashing waves.

"We were by the edge and she was insistent on getting away. She seemed fine but then she heard a splash and just...shattered." Tae says, words spilling past his lips as if forced out of him and yet he doesn't look away from (Y/N), face distraught and hurting alongside her, desperate for her to respond.

Jin hyung's arms tighten around her, almost protectively, as if caging her in so as to protect her from the large force that was a threat to her wellbeing, to her mind.

His eyes flicker to the waters, silently contemplative and knowing and the moment the understanding sinks in.

That she had some sort of trauma associated with the water and we'd ended up bringing her to the very place she feared, and not only that but she'd taken our feelings and our efforts and pushed herself to step onto the boat, even if she was falling part inside.

We'd done that.

And I know that our thoughts are correct when the water begins hitting against the boat with a bit of force, the wind bringing the waves to crash against it.

And the sound and slightly teetering motion has her tightening up under Jin hyung's touch, a full body flinch that has her ducking down to curl away from it but also at the same time, her eyes fly open- revealing glassy eyes that peer out to the waters.

"Please no...please stop." She begs, voice holding none of its earlier distraught strength, as if that too has slipped away from her and she's clinging on.

"Stop what (Y/N)? Come on darling, tell us what's wrong." Hobi urges even as he shoots a look in our direction, gesturing to the crew.

For one of us to relay the message to turn around right now.

It's clear that not one of us want to remain on the waters when it's pushing her into such a heightened state of emotional vulnerability.

Jimin hurries away, his smiling lips pressed tight and eyes lingering, looking as if he's hating being parted from her, to move away when it's clear he wants to console her.

And as the boat begins to turn, it feels too slow.

Too much time wasting away on the waters when (Y/N)'s state deteriorates, shutting the world out and through that- us too as she grips at herself, fingers digging into her arms.

"(Y/N) you're safe. We've got you." Kookie says, none of his laughing brightness, nothing of the sweet personality we all love.

Here is someone who is determined to protect. Who looks ready to take on the waters themselves if it means it would help her in any way.

And the maknaes form a protective huddle around her front, trying to shield her from the sight of the waters.

I have a feeling that whatever parts of her she associates with the waters are something that link to her muteness. 

"Can you hurry it anymore?" I snap, turning to face the crew when another wave crashing into the boat has a rough sob tearing itself out her throat.

The air descends into something that thickens and swells with panic and hurt and a desperate need to try and help- but the despair with being unable to do anything.

"We should've asked before we did anything, we should have asked if there was anything that was a strict no. Something off limits or crossed boundaries. And we ended up doing exactly that with her." Joon says, sounding so guilty and so defeated, the curve of his shoulders slumped and head drooping but unable to tear his eyes away from her.

No-one can.

Before we'd been always fighting the constant urge to look at her, to keep glancing at her and unable to tear eyes away from her delicate sweet face and the natural charm and kind warmth she exuded. 

Now I was unable to rip my eyes away from the sight of the constant stream of tears, guilty and burdened with the knowledge that I'd promised to be a safe space for her, that she'd never have to feel the compulsion to speak until she was comfortable.

And today we'd forced her past such a point that she had to scream out with discomfort and hurt and pain.

We did that. 

And then my feet stumble when a sharper wave batters into the boat, everyone's footing faltering and eyes peering out to the waters with alarm.

Hobi turns to look at the crew, frowning when they too appear to be equally startled and shocked as we are.

The waves are suddenly gaining strength, choppy battering waves that push against the boat, making it sway and teeter dangerously and my eyes widen with alarm as I take in the sight of all of them, of the way each wave has (Y/N) curving into herself further- as if trying to forcefully make herself smaller against the vastness of the water, as if doing so will make her hidden from sight.

"Please get your lifejackets on. The wind is picking up as well." One of the crew members call, failing to disguise the alarm in his voice but still trying to be calm, gesturing to the seats where under them, jackets await.

Jin hyung is the first to move, drawing (Y/N) up with him and supporting her weight as her legs buckle, sliding a hand around her to hold her to him, urging the maknaes to get their jackets on.

There's nothing but fierce protectiveness in his face as he tells Joon and Hobi and me to pull our jackets on, carefully drawing close slowly with his arms still supporting (Y/N).

She staggers when his hands unwind from around her, as if it was only him keeping her upright and I move close to stabilise her, one hand drawing her forward by her shoulder and the other encircling her.

Jin hyung approaches with a jacket for her, draping it over her back and drawing her away to help thread her uncooperative arms through it. I help him fasten it and make sure it's inflated when another crashing wave has me stumbling, her hands like iron when they dart out and fist into my shirt, tugging me firmly into her with a sudden show of strength, hands unrelenting as she keeps me close, shaking- her eyes trained on the sight over the sea from over my shoulder.

"I'm fine (Y/N), we'll get back to land. You don't need to worry." I try to soothe.

But her grip doesn't let up on my shirt, drawing me into her warmth, trying to almost meld the two of us together.

Over her shoulder I see Joon approach the edge of the boat, hands securely wrapped around the railings as he peers into the water, brows furrowed- as if trying to figure out why the water has turned choppy and unpredictable when the entire weekend had clear skies and ideal weather.

Why it is that it's suddenly become slightly tumultuous and dangerous.

And something petrifies me to see him near the edge despite his secure grip on the railing, something so unsettled because I have a distraught (Y/N) clinging to me, unwilling to let go and the sudden drastic shift from calm and light to panicked and frantic.

"Joon move away from there!" Hobi calls out, no amusement in his tone, eyes dark and wide as he peers at him, his arms around the maknaes as he shepherds them close.

He looks aghast, and in that moment there's nothing distinctively Hobi, it's as if the sudden shift has pushed away our normal selves, bringing out this raw desperate version of ourselves.

Every one of us looking fearful and panicked and silently worrying about the situation, because the waters are steadily growing rockier and there's something about (Y/N)'s reaction that tugs out irrational fears inside me.

And I couldn't block out the sound of her begging from my ears.

Couldn't mute out the way that her voice had wavered and trembled under her cries, the voice I'd always envisioned to be like the gentle lap of a wave against skin, warm and soothing and gentle to be like the bursting of a dam, an outpour of water that couldn't be held back- a flood of emotion and hurt and barrage of stories that consumed me with her cry.

I couldn't get the echo of her horrified pleas, her shaking sobs and the whispered barely audible murmurs of her begging for it to stop, for it to not happen crash into me with every glance at her, with every moment I stayed on this boat.

It felt like it was pouring into every crevice of my body, filling it with the unmeasurable pain that was in her pain, as if my body was a vessel that soaked up her words, filled with only a smidgen of her feelings and yet felt fit to burst.

Stop!

The word crashed into me over and over again, with each unsteady tilt of the boat, with each horrific nightmare second that passed by and it only seemed to get worse.

Hobi's authoritative and demanding worried call had (Y/N) retreating from me, head whipping around to stare at the sight, hands sliding away from me as if they'd never held me close and she staggered, moving towards him, body unsteadily swaying with each rocky wave but continuing to walk forward.

She ignored our panicked cries and the way my hand darted out for her, shrugging it off as she moved, Namjoon turning to shoot a guilty look, eyes widening and hands sliding free from the railings to stop her, to steady her.

And in that moment the boat teeters dangerously, everyone's hands flying for purchase, gripping at each other and Namjoon who had been reaching out for (Y/N) stumbles backwards, an alarmed cry tearing out of my throat at the sight of surprise and fear on his face.

And almost too quickly to process I see her hands grip onto his wrists, using the imbalanced boat to yank just as the boat wobbles and their positions are reversed, her body spinning to be in place where his had been.

And the sudden change and imbalance in force has her body harshly colliding with the railings, I don't realise I'm rushing forward until the sight of her expression grows clearer and more apparent.

Until I hear several screams echo in my head, pushing aside her repeated cry of 'stop' to be pushed aside as Namjoon fumbles to grasp at her, her body teetering backwards, feet falling away from the ground.

"(Y/N)!" I yell desperately, hands outstretched and in a cruel twist, I watch as her body almost seems to fall in slow motion, back arching over the railing, her panic-blown irises focusing on me, almost shuttering with something akin to relief, as if glad she managed to move Namjoon out of the way and lips parted silently, the tiniest fraction as if taking a breath.

And her body curve and falls, I only reach in time to grasp her leg, desperately trying to keep a grip on her and when there's the sound of a splash I find that everything else is taken over by an incessant high-pitched buzzing that drowns out everything else, my knees colliding with the deck when only her shoe remains in my grip, clutching at it tightly.

There's the feel of the deck vibrating with the rush of footsteps, my eyes glued onto the surface of the water through which she sinks and disappears from sight.

A numbness that seeps out from my chest and begins to leech away at the warmth of my body.

And startle when the sound of another splash cuts through the pitched buzzing, the sight of Jungkook's figure slicing through the water, which in bitter cruel irony seems to have calmed, disappearing beneath the surface without a moment of hesitation.

I grip at the white sneaker, holding onto it and feeling my heart shatter with the pained realisation that I couldn't save her, I couldn't grab her in time.

That she'd been plunged into the very thing she feared.

That she'd been thrown into the waters that she'd begged relief, escape from.

And I hadn't been able to stop it.

None of us had.

(Y/N) POV:

It's an immediate reaction to rush to pull Namjoon out of the way, knowing that whilst the waters might be merciful to me, wouldn't kill me because of the tether to the Ocean, nature wasn't kind to others, to all.

And that there was no chance of Namjoon making it out alive from the waters, but for me- there was the guarantee I would. Because my service wasn't over.

And it confirms my suspicions that the waters tumultuous nature was the Ocean beginning to get restless and agitated with the lack of a siren in the waters, with an incomplete group of them- calming the moment my body crashes into the waters and is tugged immediately into Her depths.

And as I sink into the waters, the sight of Yoongi's face flashes into my mind briefly- the sight of his shocked, terrified face- oddly bringing me a smidgen of calm, of comfort- that someone cared enough for me.

But as soon as the thought comes, I banish it. Because the moment I'm in Her waters, my mind is Hers to sift through, to view and to glimpse at without permission.

Because when I'm in Her waters, I lose my agency, my identity, my rights and freedom and exist only as Her property, Her tool to use.

And force every memory, every emotion, every thought connected to them, to their existence to be pushed to the back of my mind, to be shut away.

I force myself into the mould She'd created, force myself to be nothing but her puppet, her object as Her currents tug me further away from them and I can't help but feel relief that they won't be entangled with this, won't be drawn into this poisonous web of death.

You didn't come to me sooner. Her voice fills my mind, slightly chastising and hurt, as if She had been waiting for me.

"Were you looking for me? You should know that I can never ever resist Your call." The thought flickers through my mind, read by her.

And I feel Her waters wrap around me almost as if in a tighter cocoon, holding me firmly within Her. Tight, confining, restricting.

She's silent as She takes me deeper, drawing me in further and further until five familiar figures appear in my sight once more, Habaek oppa and Mi-sun unnie's faces flickering with emotions they try to suppress in front of Her.

And near them Suzy unnie, Woo-bin oppa, Chang-wook oppa have more guarded expressions, a solid impenetrable wall in front of the Ocea that comes with being sirens a tad bit longer, but their eyes hold empathy, understanding and fear.

Why did you suddenly appear in the waters? Why didn't I feel you as you entered? She asks, voice cool and slightly suspecting, my mind becomes hardened against any stray thought that could betray me, desperately clinging onto the idea and knowledge that I will do anything to protect them from Her.

I was on a boat. There's no point denying an answer She already holds. She's testing the waters. Testing how far I'll go. Whether I'd lie to her.

Her waters become a fraction less tight, easing slightly.

With friends? That's nice, I've always worried for you. She says sounding genuinely ecstatic for me, happy for me, as if She truly is a maternal figure, always worrying for me and this growth is something She rejoices over.

But I can't let my guard down. Can never let it down.

And when Her words next come, I feel the coldness of Her pierce my heart, veins bleeding with the cold, salty liquid of Her rather than blood.

I don't need much to sustain me, my sirens took a small boat of people for me already. One of a similar size should be enough She muses.

But there's a taunting knowledge in Her words, a cruel intent.

And it clicks the moment I seem to feel Her turn taunting, vindictively cruel and harsh.

What about the boat you were on. Surely you can sacrifice friends for the sake of sustaining me. For sustaining the one who saved you, who you exist because of, who you vowed to serve diligently. She says, voice echoing in our heads and encompassing us, not questions, statements. She doesn't expect anything but subservience, anything but our compliance, my compliance.

And doesn't expect me to challenge it.

So without comment, without preamble Her waters bring all of us surging through the same waters I had fallen through and found myself tugged to Her through. I find myself pulled further out to sea, further out than where I had started and find myself paralysed and unable to move.

As we grow closer to the surface, I hear the pained panicked cries of them echoing across the waters, cries of my name as the boat drifts further out- the sight of a figure swimming up to the surface, lean broad frame immediately outlining him to be Jin.

My heart shatters when his resurfacing brings the hopeful bated question of whether he'd found me.

And find my heart crumple, squeeze and bleed out when the Ocean's grip gets tighter.

They'll be enough. Bring the very people looking for you to me. Show them their final glimpse of you, so they may die with relief on their minds, She says, voice cruelly indifferent and levelled. Never bothered about the lives She'd take; about the ones She was telling me to take.

I couldn't do that. I couldn't.

And yet Her orders began to seep into my veins, filling me with paralysing terror as I realised She intended to go through with it.

That this was one of Her ways of keeping control, keeping tags.

Because for all that She thrived on that image of an all-encompassing maternal figure, there wasn't an ounce of love in Her.

All She needed was obedience.

And when her command echoes out across the waters, causing a ripple in the surface I know nothing will ever be the same.

Know that my life as I knew it, know that the knew feeling of happiness and hope I'd clung onto was going to be ripped away from me.

Sing.

And like always, like it had through centuries, Her order filled me and like the others, I felt it take over. Felt it become every part of me, felt it wipe away my identity, my control until that order was all I knew, all I could ever know.

Sing.

And we had no choice but to.

(THERE YOU GO! BEFORE YOU ALL COME FOR ME, I'M GONNA HIDE! AND SECOND...IT'S INTENTIONAL WHY HER PERSPECTIVE WAS SHORTER THAN YOONGI'S AND THERE'S A LOT OF ANGSTY STUFF TO COME SO BE PREPARED, GET YOUR TISSUES READY AND SOMEONE TO HUG! LET ME KNOW ALL YOUR HURTY THOUGHTS AND PLANS AS TO HOW AN OCEAN CAN BE KILLED. I FEEL SO, SO BAD FOR HER THAT MY HEART IS JUST TEARING APART! I HATE WHERE THE PLOT HAS TAKEN ME AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I AM EQUALLY IN PAIN IF NOT MORE! AND ISTG...BABY SIREN'S SUFFERING NEVER SEEMS TO END AND IT IS KILLING ME!! AHHHHH! CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU!! AND GUESSES WHERE THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL TAKE US??  AHHH! STAY SAFE, TAKE CARE AND ENJOY!)

QUESTION...SOMETHING YOU'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO?

Mine is...once lockdown is over me and my friend plan to visit my other friend to celebrate her birthday which passed in lockdown, and it'll be so nice to see each other and spend time together in person rather than in person! And I love buying gifts so I'm looking forward to wrapping them and designing her birthday card too! The little things mean a lot to me!

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3