JIMIN POV:

The moment we get home I rush off to shower, avoiding Jin hyung's customary greeting questions and Kookie and Hobi hyung's knowing glances and barely repressed giddy shock, sliding free of their grips to lock myself into the bathroom, tugging my clothes off and hurrying under the shower spray, trying to sluice away the heat from my cheeks and the nervous wild thrumming of my heart by lathering myself up slowly and rinsing myself off.

And it's as I'm under the hot spray that I remember the sudden panic that had flared through me, alarm prompting me to tug her hand- harder and firmer than I'd intended, misjudging her stability and the way she'd suddenly fallen, body tilting forward. The small almost inaudible inhale of breath before she'd fallen and then all of a sudden- softness against my body, the warm softness of her body colliding into me, plush against me and I mentally begged for my mind not to dwell too much on it, not to think too much of the way her body was slotted between mine and I could feel lithe legs caged between my splayed ones, hips pressed into mine- so intimately pressed against me that my mind and body craved the feel, welcomed it even as rationality whispered that she wasn't ours, that she couldn't be unless we asked her, hoping our feelings were reciprocated.

I scrub at my hair eyes squeezing shut tightly as I remember how her head had fallen forward, the accidental way her lips had touched my own. Soft rosiness against my own, slotting together perfectly and I'd stiffened, fighting the urge to move my lips against hers, to determine just how sweet she tasted but I couldn't lie to myself and pretend that my lips hadn't relaxed against hers, body clamping down forcefully on those urges to wrap her up close, to tug her further into me with the hand that splays across her back whilst the other grips her hand, wanting to slide my hand free and cradle her head closer.

As the hot water beats down at the nape of my neck, sliding down my back and shoulders, I remember how her hands had felt placed on my chest, pushing herself up and away within seconds, startled and jerking back, backpedalling away from me a small sound of surprise, back brushing against hyung's chest- cheeks turning rosy.

I don't know how I manage but I scramble off the floor, pretend that my heart isn't racing as I focus on Kookie instead, not knowing what the consequences would be if I'd continued to stare at her, not knowing whether that self-control would've shattered or not, whether I'd have tugged her back into my arms of my own accord.

And as my head hangs low, rivulets of water running down, I remember that it wasn't the first time that I'd felt that urge. That since that night at the club I'd entertained a constantly growing what-if in my head. What if I'd continued to allow myself to feel those urges with her and had acted on them. What if I'd drunken a bit more, would my inhibitions have been even lower, would I have been even more eager to get close to her, to take that full deep rose satin bottom lip between my teeth and tug. Whether if my worries hadn't been holding me back, if I'd known the others had been feeling the same way whether I'd have held back at all, or whether I'd have pulled her body tightly against my own.

And with the steam in the shower, the heat in my cheeks climb, and when I'm towelling myself off dry, tugging one of the hyung's hoodies and shorts, I walk out with determination.

Determination to get the others to agree to confess as soon as possible.

Because the wait of watching my feelings grow and being unable to act on them was torture. It was making me impatient and restless.

But when I enter the living room, to see the others already waiting for me, Kookie and Hobi sporting dangerously glinting eyes I gulp. Because the deep predatory intent in their eyes is perhaps far more dangerous and I don't know whether I'd get out of here alive or would be consumed in the feeling.

----

"Hyung no it wasn't like that I swear!" I passionately exclaim when Jin hyung turns razor sharp eyes to me, frowning when he hears Kookie say the words. Hear him say 'Jimin hyung kissed (Y/N)', because yes I did but not like that- not with the type of insinuation I can hear in the words, know they'll have grabbed immediately.

"Jimin-ah, you're telling me you kissed her before we even got to confess. And you kissed her without permission?" he asks, voice disapproving and face expressing both betrayal and hurt.

Because we'd decided to tell her together.

And I know what flashes in those soft eyes is concern. Concern for (Y/N) and how one small slip up could cost us our chance but more than that could cost her her progress, her openness with us, the comfortability she'd started to show.

It makes me realise how precariously things hang now.

On a fraying piece of string. Teetering dangerously.

"Hyung no. it wasn't anything like that, I pulled her out of the way and she fell on me. Our lips just touched." I insist, glaring at the betrayal Kookie has done, at the way Tae's bright face simmers with unexpressed emotion, eyes carefully monitoring my face in a way that makes me feel as if he's peeling the layers of clothes off my skin, dark and consuming.

"Lips touched...? Well it's not a kiss more a peck?" Joon hyung slightly hedges, trying to be the peacekeeper, trying to ease out the tension slightly, but his cheeks are pink as he says it.

A peck.

"A peck doesn't last several seconds does it?" I question, toying with the fabric of the hoodie to avoid meeting their eyes but also unable to stop the twitching smile on my face at the gasps it elicits.

I get a whack to my arm.

"Jimin stop digging your grave. I just hope that it hasn't scared her off, she's a really delicate soul." Yoongi hyung says, voice turning soft and reflective- making my smile fade.

But the contentment and hazy giddiness we all seem to be floating in vanishes when with an icy chill a realisation dawns on me.

A possibility we'd never considered.

That (Y/N) seemed to share a close personal intimacy with Habaek and Mi sun, reminding me that the way their bodies had moved together was with a sync and fluidity that came with knowing each other's bodies well, with having years of comfort between them.

That whilst we'd been there for her that day at the cake shop, it had been Habaek who's clothes she drowned in, and who's lap and arms she sought out. 

"What about Habaek...and Mi-sun?" Kookie voices nervously, clearly having reached the same conclusion as me internally.

Faces fall, expressions becoming sombre.

Hobi hyung has a contemplative thoughtful look on his face.

"What is it?" Tae prods, nudging him gently.

He shakes his head.

"Just thinking...Jin hyung do you remember the night at (Y/N)'s house? How Habaek had been so drugged and hazy but he kept trying to get close to (Y/N), kept trying to make sure she was fine. He responded to her distress and her body language." He muses.

Habaek had been drugged to such an extent that his body failed him, that his mind wouldn't cooperate with him. And yet he'd been struggling with every bit of him to get to her, to respond to her own distress? It made my heart sink.

It was clear Habaek held her extremely close to his heart.

That his attention and worry for her cut through even the thickest intoxicating, drugged fog that shrouded his mind.

"She kept pushing her own state of health aside too...she was so focused on making sure he was fine that she didn't stop until she literally dropped." Jin hyung adds, face twisted in both concern and remembrance, a shudder wracking Hobi hyung's body as he remembers.

"Do you think we have a chance? Do you think she'll even forgive me?" Tae whispers, voice sounding low and miserable, countenance filled with guilt and hurt and longing.

Do we have a chance? Even slightly.

Joon hyung seems to pause.

"Habaek told me that what he wanted most in life was to hear her speak again. That all his research, all his studying was for her. He's dedicated his life to try and bring her back to who she used to be." He says, voice soft and eyes sparking with a sad fondness.

Who did that? Who forgot everything else in the world that all they saw was just one person, and that person became their reason for existence?

With every word the hyungs divulge it makes me think our chances decrease. That maybe we won't truly get a chance. Not if she's committed and with them. Not if she's drowning in their love the same way they seem to drown in hers I think as I remember appreciative unmovable eyes on her as she posed, how Mi sun had drank in the sight of her- unable to tear her eyes away, remember the conversation we'd overheard. 

With that level of intimacy, did we even have a chance? Were we even right to desire her?

"Hyungs...even if there's the tiniest chance of her reciprocating, even if it looks like she doesn't feel the same way- we have to try." Kookie says, beautiful doe-eyes shining with determination, shoulders set with resolve.

I look at him and see how far he's come from when he was shy of accepting our hugs and kisses, see how this strong confident young man is the same who helped draw (Y/N) out.

And nod in agreement.

Even if there's the slightest chance I'm in.

Because I never want to pass my life by in more what-ifs, don't want to feel regrets for leaving my feelings unexpressed.

So when we get the chance, when we know whether or not (Y/N) is romantically with Mi sun and Habaek then we decide. But if she isn't, then I'm all in. Every part of me is willing and desperate to try.

And try I will.

To fulfil all those newly blossoming hopes and dreams I'd begun associating with her.

Perhaps long before I'd consciously realised. Perhaps the connection that had been sparked all those months ago at the rink when I'd seen a pink-mittened angel reach out for me, when with her cheeks flushed from cold and exertion she'd hovered over me and with hands that had been warm and comforting had helped me up. Maybe it had been then.

Maybe it was my snow angel who held my heart safely cocooned in her pink mitten clad hands and cradled it towards her tender warm self.

Maybe she'd never let go since.

And maybe I'd never asked for it back.

But even then I had no regrets.

(Y/N) POV:

It's to get my mind off things the next day that I head over to the gym- taking up the offer Habaek oppa and Mi sun unnie make, because it seemed like eons had passed since we'd spent time together and because if I went along with them- I knew had an easy pass, to forgetting, to trying to forget and in busying myself.

If my lungs burned from exertion, how could I remember the way my breath had hitched when I'd been on top of Jimin?

If my heart thudded wildly, how could I remember the way it seemed to have skipped a beat with Jimin?

If my body ached with exhaustion, ready to drop dead onto the gym mats, how could I remember the way my body had felt cocooned by Jimin's?

Gym was the best idea.

Ideal for busying myself. For losing myself in pushing my body through exercise, through the meticulous attention to myself to make sure I didn't push myself too hard. For losing time and making memories in doing even the mundane with Mi sun unnie and Habaek oppa.

And though it wasn't something I would list as a hobby; I didn't mind it.

They say it doesn't matter where you go as long as you have good company. And I knew that sentiment held true, had held firm like iron for centuries. It didn't matter where we went, whatever dark hellholes we'd suffered in, because we'd suffered together and that was why we'd survived. It didn't matter whether it had been night shifts at factories during the war, manual labour until our bodies felt stiff and ready to snap and cave in on themselves, or brighter moments of our lives when we'd settled into the countryside- content to pass our days surrounded by only greenery. Because in the countryside there weren't many people, because there I didn't have the fear of trancing someone, because there wasn't direct connections to the Ocean which meant I could live hidden and free even if for a small moment of time.

And so it didn't matter that I knew I was voluntarily signing myself up for a gruelling session, for my body to feel exhausted and drained and wringed dry.

I hop onto the treadmill, more than content to do some cardio whilst the other two begin warming up for whatever hellish session they've planned- how unnie managed to maintain a slim physique without bulking up considering how much she lifted I'd never know- but at least it meant she could always easily heft me up into her arms. So I had no complains.

I connect my earbuds, allowing a mixture of songs old and new pour into my ears- blocking out the world from my mind as I run, slowly building up a sweat but continuing on even as my lungs burn, even as each inhale of breath is sharp, even as my legs burn. I'm not at my limits. Not yet. I knew exactly what my physical limits were. Had had plenty of opportunities with mixed figures in the dance industry that had taught me that the hard way just what I needed to put myself through for my body to crash and burn and give up.

And when I slow it down to a light jog and end in a cool down walk, I become conscious of how sweaty I am, of the heat burning my cheeks and bend down to grab my bottle of water and a towel, dabbing at my face and grimacing at the way my body seems to be heated up, tugging off the thin t-shirt I'd been using as a cover.

"Well darling, now people won't be working out if you distract them." Mi sun unnie lightly scolds, tone playful and winking when my head jerks up, lips twitching as she unstraps her feet from the rowing machine, watching my reactions in the mirror.

I shoot her a narrowed set of eyes. As if she can talk. She goes by a self-imposed personal philosophy. She doesn't dress to impress. She dresses to kill. Death by allure.

Mi-sun:

Y/N:

And the way her slender muscle physique is revealed when she straightens up stretching exaggeratedly draws many eyes. And she knows and revels in the power she can exert without a single word.

"You're the distraction." Habaek oppa shoots back, huffing in disbelief when she bats her eyelashes coyly. 

That move doesn't work. Not on us.

Never had. Never will. No matter how stunning we both knew she was.

She whines slightly when she doesn't get the attention she was expecting, nudging me with her hip to clear the space where she'll be lifting weights- matching weights sitting side by side for the two of them.

I move to the side, clearing the mirror space for them whilst I work nearby, doing light resistance exercises, exercises to engage my core and body. I'm more of a yoga and Pilates girl than I am a heavy gym workout fan.

But barely a few sets in, does Habaek oppa set down the weights, with ease, arm muscles bulging and shifting, ambling towards me- a small smile playing on his lips.

"Hey why'd you ditch me? Can't lift anymore weights?" Mi sun unnie calls, though she and I both know just how much power and stamina he has. It's nothing to do with being tired out. I straighten up, turning to ask him but let out a small yelp- barely heard because his deep bright laughter covers it, swallows it whole as he swings me up in his arms, one arm wrapped around my shoulders and the other scooped under my thighs, holding me close to him.

My eyes widen, arms desperately and frantically wounding around his neck, securing myself when he begins squatting, body rising up and down as he easily carries me. I feel my heart thud wildly, nervously- worried I'll fall in the next instant despite how reassuring his strong grip is.

"Loosen up darling, you got a man too sweep you off your feet." Mi sun unnie calls, laughing as she watches the display before focusing again.

Habaek oppa laughs too, smile sweet and gentle as he peers at me.

"I'll stop if you really want me to." He offers, silently searching my face.

I give a fond shake of my head and he gives a sweet smile in response, leaning in to press a kiss to my forehead before his nose gently brushes against mine, face close as he sweetly gazes at me- assessing for any hesitance.

And when he asserts there's none he begins to make more exaggerated moves, my arms winding more tightly around his neck, face hidden into his shoulder as I stifle laughter when he makes silly poses, fingers brushing the edge of his hair before rubbing at the skin at the nape of his neck, nuzzling close. Because Habaek oppa spells comfort, home, and safety for me. Because there's nothing I'd hide from him, because there's no place I feel more at peace at than being in his arms, tucked close- protected and cherished.

"Stop hiding, you're missing it all!" Habaek oppa insists, laughing brightly. I lift my head up to smile at his reflection, seeing the way he effortlessly cradles me in his arms when my eyes trail away from our reflection and see a familiar figure a few spaces away.

When my face catches onto a figure dressed in a black t-shirt, arms lifting weights as he remains seated, his reflection taking my attention. And as I watch another two figures join him, joking around as they comment, careful hands and eyes monitoring him lift weights.

"(Y/N)...cherub you zoning out on me?" Habaek oppa asks, and somehow it manages to catch the attention of all three of them, his voice causing them to freeze, their eyes drifting to me and Habaek oppa.

I watch as recognition flashes in their eyes.

And watch as they slowly turn.

My arms involuntarily tighten, gripping oppa even more firmly.

Because I'd come with oppa and unnie so I wouldn't be stuck alone with my thoughts.

But somehow this is worse. Way worse.

Because when I see them I feel shame mixed with guilty longing seep through my veins. When I see them I think of what I'd accidentally done. I see relationships I might've ruined.

I wonder...no fear how they thought of me. Whether they thought I was disturbing the dynamic they shared as a group and as the couples and trio they seemed to be romantically. Whether they even knew? Whether Jimin had even considered it important enough to mention?

But when they begin taking careful steps towards me, I feel my body feel hot and cold simultaneously. Cold as ice with fearful trepidation, and hot and flushed with prickling shame.

And I wonder just what they think as they move close.

And whether I'm ready to find out.

(THERE YOU GO! THE CHAPTER WAS ALMOST NOT GOING TO COME OUT COS I HAD WRITER'S BLOCK AND A HEADACHE AND STRESS FOR MY MID-TERM BUT IT MANAGED TO GET WRITTEN! A LOT OF THIS CHAPTER AND A LOT OF SUPPORT COMES FROM MY DARLING Midiiplier - THANK YOU MY DEAR! LOVE YOU! AND THERE WE GO! WE HAD HOPE BUT NOW WE HAVE DOUBT...PEOPLE LET'S CLEAR UP MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND TAE NEEDS TO GET HIMSELF OUT OF THE FRIENDZONE PRONTO!! BUT OH GOD!! TO BE CAUGHT AT THE WRONG TIME SEEMS TO HAVE HAPPENED. CAUGHT SWEPT UP IN HABAEK'S ARMS AND NESTLING INTO HIS SHOULDER-AHHHHH! WHILST I ADORE IT, WHAT ARE THEY GONNA THINK?? SO MUCH TO HAPPEN!! LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS, ENJOY AND STAY SAFE DEARS!)

Also isn't Habaek the cutest?? 🥺🥰

QUESTION....something that makes you think/pause today?

Mine is...I was thinking about that time Yoongi started going gym and bulking up but he was told by his stylists to stop because he wouldn't fit into his outfits for the tour. And it's been running through my mind again today and honestly think about it. We could have seen a muscular, toned Yoongi had they not stopped him.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3