HOBI POV:

Something's changed. Something that seems to have caused the atmosphere to shift slightly.

There's a tension I don't know the exact cause of that thrums around the house, seeping into each nook and cranny- into the crevices of our rooms, in our shared time in the living room and kitchen and it seems to build, mounting higher and higher- thick and palpable.

Joon had returned home looking distinctively tickled pink and pleased, his deep dimpled grin hadn't vanished all night and once Kookie and I had tag-teamed up on him, we'd wheedled out of him that he found (Y/N) to be so adorable and cute whilst she was sleeping, and mumbled about how nice her hugs were. I could relate to him on that far too well, her hugs were very very nice but I felt a pang of jealousy and regret that I couldn't see her all curled up sleeping. I had no doubt that it would make for a heart wrenchingly sweet image. 

But that hadn't been all.

Yoongi hyung had returned home looking significantly withdrawn and lost in thought, silently contemplating something during dinner, silent despite all the loud chatter and countless attempts to stop and draw him into conversation.

It was simply as if his mind was elsewhere.

And when we'd all split off into groups for bed, he'd silently tugged Tae into his arms, who'd been more than delighted to have some one on one time with his fellow Daegu, winding his arms around hyung in a tight cuddle, and laughing when he made a huffy face- as if he wasn't secretly relishing in the feeling.

But somehow it feels like hyung hasn't merely sought Tae for cuddles and one on one comfort, today there's deeper meaning and intention in the hand that splays across Tae's back, there's unspoken words flickering in the warm dark depths of hyung's eyes.

And only the morning will shed light on whether it was something good or bad.

----

Tae appears looking confused and slightly reflective at breakfast, sinking into the chair beside me with silence- a rare and unheard-of occurrence, Tae likes making his presence known whether that be with a vocal loud call of greeting or physically by draping himself over the nearest person and demanding cuddles.

"Something wrong baby?" I ask, sliding a glass of juice in front of him and watching as his fingers wrap automatically around it but he makes no move to lift it up and gulp it down eagerly as he always does.

He looks up at me after long silent moments of contemplation, eyes expression confusion and hurt.

My heart aches at the sight and automatically I reach out to cradle his cheeks, turning him properly towards me.

"What is it?" I ask, fingers rubbing back and forth across the highs of his cheeks.

He sighs, a morose downcast sound.

Yoongi hyung appears in the doorway, looking apologetic and sorrowful as he takes the seat beside Tae and kisses the back of his head.

"Tae-ah, don't beat yourself up over it." Hyung says.

But it's clear given Tae's expression that whatever it is, he's silently berating himself for it internally.

And when things like this happen, it's better to nip them in the bud then let the worries grow and fester. He already looks so troubled, I don't want him to be bearing the brunt of the burden alone, cracking under it.

"But hyung, (Y/N) must think I'm the worst! Do you know what I said to her hyung? I said nothing happened. She must think I don't care whatsoever about her." he says, voice low and rough- slightly hoarse, thick with emotions and given the wobble of his lips he looks close to tears.

I lean forward to press a kiss to his lips, silencing him momentarily before leaning back.

"What happened hyung?" I ask, opening my arms to accommodate the way Tae is leaning closer and further into me for comfort.

"Remember the club? And when Tae was dancing with (Y/N)?" he says. I nod; how could I forget it?

It had been such an eventful night. A mixture of intrigue and being repeatedly drawn to      (Y/N)'s silently powerful presence, that had drawn several interesting eyes over the course of the night and the fateful way it had concluded too- the sight of her slumping motionlessly towards the ground was a sight I couldn't get out of my head, no matter how much it plagued me.

But Tae's dancing with (Y/N)? How could I forget? 

The way the two of them seemed to have been lost in a world they'd designed, that only the two of them had existed in. Tae had been so happy when he'd returned. Tipsy but happy.

"Taehyungie didn't think it happened. And he told that to (Y/N)." Yoongi hyung says with a grimace.

I connect the dots and wince in sympathy watching as he raises his head to shoot baleful eyes at me, hands clutching tightly at me.

"How am I meant to fix this? She must think I don't care." He says, whimpering at the thought and promptly tucking himself in my arms again, hiding from view.

I sigh as my hands wrap tightly around him.

"You just need to make things right Taehyung-ah. You can do it." I murmur reassuringly.

But the look Yoongi hyung is sporting. A silently worrying expression, a gaze that's not directed at Tae makes me wonder how (Y/N) was taking it. If hyung knew more than he was letting on. 

And just how much Tae's seemingly feigned ignorance towards the dance would've hurt her, was hurting her still.

But I trusted Tae to sort things out.

I knew he wouldn't let things hover uncertainly in the air like this. He couldn't stand conflict or hurt of any sort. And when he bounds out of the house an hour later, with a determined look on his face, I already know he's determined to fix it as soon as possible.

After all, with such a contrite expression whenever he's done something wrong or is feeling guilty about something- it becomes so easy for the tension or the arguments to dissolve that he's had with usually Jiminie, his partner in crime. I'm betting on the idea that Tae will return home, bright-eyed and beaming boxily- peace restored to his world once more.

But when later that day he trudges him, toeing off his shoes miserably and curling into Jin hyung- who raises his eyebrows in silent alarm even as he gives him the comfort he's seeking, it makes me realise that perhaps it'll take longer. That (Y/N) had been hurt more than he'd realised or I'd realised.

And selfishly I hoped that for everyone's sakes that it would be sorted soon, (Y/N) had become immersed into our daily lives- integrated into our regular schedules and routines in a way that on off chances we didn't get to see her- it left a remarkable, notable difference on us. 

And I don't know what I'd do if she distanced herself away from all of us. I knew just how much personal effort and strength it took her to open up, I hated the idea of her being set back. I didn't want to see her retreat into a shell when she'd consciously been so active in trying to be more open and comfortable around us.

It was something that would tear my heart apart.

KOOK POV:

From the day Tae hyung arrives home looking all sad and droopy, a rare heart wrenching sight, there begins to be a visible shift in the way Tae hyung seems to deflate whenever     (Y/N)'s mentioned. Whenever one of us ask whether they've made up. He sports such a hurt look that it tugs sharply at my heartstrings and swamps me with the urge to snuggle close to him and pepper kisses across him until he's lost the sad look.

But the next two weeks pass with feelings of guilt and shame that build higher and higher, gnaw at me from the inside and have finally began affecting my ability to fall asleep. Because where Tae hyung seemed to be having little to no luck in getting anything out of (Y/N), claiming she was just being friendly because she was too sweet, she seemed to have become even more immersed into my daily life. More often than not I found myself asking her if she wanted to meet up, or stealing her away after dance lessons to take walks, to go out and try new snacks together, or even finding myself being given tours of the area where she shows me hidden nooks and treasures of what the city has to offer- opening my eyes up to beauty hidden in plain sight.

And I felt guilty for enjoying myself in her presence, for relishing in the sweet comfortable atmosphere whereas Tae hyung seemed to long for it too, looking close to tears at one night when he insisted that he'd ruined it all and (Y/N) was forcefully staying friends with him. But no matter how much I reassured him, no matter how much the hyungs comforted him- he was adamant that his behaviour had ruined all the progress he'd made with (Y/N), with the person he called so easily with some sort of nickname or the other. He'd rarely referred to her by name, using variations of 'my pretty friend' interchanging friend with dancer, photographer, or whatever word he deemed fit for the day. And now it seemed all it took was one mention of her name and he would droop, wilt with sadness and longing.

But the feelings I'd begin to feel in relation to (Y/N) were scary and made me feel sick. Made me feel as if I was wrong and greedy and disgusting.

When the hyungs had proposed to me that they all wanted to date me- that all six of them liked me and wanted me it had left me feeling dizzily exhilarated, scared, and uncertain. Because what I was entering was a relationship where everyone's time and affection, mine included, would be divided and shared. It had been years to get us to this point, to this dynamic that just worked. Where one pair of arms were sought out for a particular comfort and another for distractions. There were difficulties, there were bumps in the road, there were tears and insecurities and fears but there were also moments of vulnerability where we'd leant on each other, where we'd brought each other up. Where we'd gone from uncertain young adults navigating uncharted waters to finding something that fit, something we couldn't live without.

So there was no way I was willing to throw that all away, to throw years of intimacy and closeness and progress away because I couldn't get a grasp on my feelings. Because I couldn't stop deciding what label I wanted to give to the feelings I'd developed for (Y/N). Couldn't decide whether I wanted to hold her close for a few moments longer whenever we shared a victory hug or dance when we beat the duo scores for DDR or nailed the next eight counts for the choreography because it was exhilarating to share the moment with her, especially with how she accepted our hugs and touches easily, not because I relished and adored the feeling of her safe and tucked up against me, sliding her arms around me to reciprocate the hug. I began trying all sorts of things.

Jump-scares, popping out of the blue behind her or trying to startle her, raising the competitiveness and trying to goad her in a humorous friendly manner, wanting to see something more than the narrowed set of eyes that would pin me and make me silently regret challenging her only to be sorely defeated minutes later, whether it be in stretching or dancing on DDR- her score becoming higher and higher, an even greater margin between us. Sharing snacks with her and mentally noting which ones she favoured and ignoring the indignant squawks from the hyungs because Jeon Jungkook never shared snacks...god did they have to say it with so much shock? I tried everything, tickles, tight hugs, surprise appearances and nothing seemed to faze her.

Nothing seemed to draw out a sound, and I knew that the small happy hum wasn't imagined. Couldn't have been. There was no way I spent the past fortnight or so playing the sweet hum of pleasure through my mind on a constant loop when I was alone to my thought, finding them drifting more and more to (Y/N), such a sweet sound was most certainly not a figment of my imagination. And it began to make me frustrated, began making my eyes linger on her lips and wonder what other sound she'd slip out- how she'd sound when she yawned, when she giggled, when she huffed, when she was angry. I wanted to hear her world through her sounds.

But it seemed like it was all a crafted illusion.

And it began to confuse me just why my mind would drift to her so often, why when I was with my hyungs doing one thing or the other, I could easily imagine her slotted in, and then came the shame and guilt that made my stomach curdle, that made me feel like the worst boyfriend alive when all the other hyungs continued to dote on me, shower me with affection and all I was doing was wandering how it would be to dote on her instead.

And I hate how conflicted I feel, hate how it just seems to be me spiralling out of control. Sure I'd noticed everyone had grown closer to (Y/N), that everyone's voices held warmth in their tone as they mentioned her, and that their eyes softened. Sure that Namjoon hyung had returned with pinkened cheeks from a study meet with Habaek and mumbled how adorable she looked sleeping once Jiminie hyung and Tae hyung had wheedled it out of him, sure that Jin hyung seemed to be fond as he mentioned how sweet and helpful she was during their lessons. Sure that I saw the way Hobi hyung's eyes carefully monitor her as she danced, face brightening with pride and lips ready to praise.

But it didn't seem near to what I was feeling.

The feelings that were drifting from friendliness to something more. Something where I began to wonder how it would be to hold her as she napped, how bright her laughter would sound, what sort of stuff she did in her free time, how it would feel to have longer hugs.

And shamefully my eyes began to drop to her lips more often, began becoming mesmerised by the rosy pillows and wondered what it would be like to taste them, to capture and tug her bottom lip between my own.

And as much as I try to banish these thoughts, try to push them aside and curl closer to the hyungs- silently apologising for my thoughts by feeling them close, feeling them near.

But it seems like sometimes life is too short to hide away feelings.

Because two weeks into Tae hyung's droopy wilted state, I finally burst as we sit together in the living room.

"Why does it bother you so much that she's being friendly? Why do you think she's faking it?" I ask, my attention on him rather than the movie we'd all curled up to watch.

His face droops, head ducking down to try and avoid my eyes.

"Hyung..." I say warningly.

He sighs.

And then mumbles something intelligible.

"What?" I ask, frowning because I couldn't decipher the blurred mumbled syllables.

"Because I don't want her to just be my friend. Because I think I like her more than that. No...I do. And I know just how wrong it is. Just how disgusting and horrible I am for feeling that way." He bursts out, eyes shining wetly in the darkness of the room, curling around himself as a sob tears out of his throat.

I feel my stomach plummet, sinking to depths I didn't know existed.

I stare at him with parted lips, his burst of words having sent the room into a hush, the white noise of the TV suddenly hushed- paused or muted. There's silence before the lights are turned back on and I can see Tae hyung's face twisted with distress and pain, crumpling as I look at him.

"See...I knew it." He says from between his hands where he's hidden his face, unable to meet me in the eyes or the hyungs.

But when I look up and see guilty, shocked, and silently contemplating expressions, I wonder if they even see it like that.

If any of us could ever even see Tae hyung as wrong or disgusting. How could I when I felt the same? How could the others when it looked like they'd been harbouring similar feelings?

And the turning on of the lights seem to have suddenly thrown us under the glare of an interrogatory light, everyone looking as if they've been caught out.

But who are we hiding from? What are we guilty of?

And can we all be convicted as wrong and unfaithful when it seems like we've all done the same misdeed?

(THERE YOU GO! THE EXPLOSION OF THE FEELS HAVE FINALLY HAPPENED! A LITTLE TIMESKIP BUT POOR TAE BABY! LOOKING SO GUILTY AND HURT AND FULL OF LONGING. FOR YOU LOVELIES' INFORMATION- (Y/N) HASN'T BEGUN TREATING HIM DIFFERENTLY BUT SHE IS DEFINITELY MAINTAINING THAT FRIENDSHIP LINE SHE FELT HE HAD MADE CLEAR SO IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF MISUNDERSTANDINGS REALLY! AND KOOKIE GETTING CLOSER! AND TRYING TO MAKE HER LET OUT A SOUND BECAUSE HE'S SO SURE THAT SHE DID BEFORE AND HE WANTS TO HEAR MORE!! AND JUST AS KOOKIE WAS ABOUT TO BURST, TAE DID! AND THERE WE HAVE IT! EVERYTHING IS UNDER THE SPOTLIGHT, SHONE AT AND ILLUMINATED! I WONDER WHAT'LL BE REVEALED FINALLY!! AND ABOUT TIME TOO! SO EXCITED FOR TOMORROW'S CHAPTER ALREADY! LET ME KNOW ALL YOUR THOUGHTS AND THEORIES- WILL THEY CONFESS OR NOT?? AND STAY SAFE DEARS!)

QUESTION...A PET PEEVE OF YOURS?

Mine is...I hate it when people don't put in their share of effort into something that's meant to be a group effort, or something that they've agreed to do and either don't do it, or do it to a really poor standard. So if that was chores in our house, my siblings do rubbish jobs at it and then I have to go round cleaning after their 'cleaning' and it just makes me super mad. Like we all live here, everyone put the effort in! And that applies for group work too, like pull your weight- don't burden one person with it.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3