YOONGI POV:

When I left the studio and whispered to (Y/N) that she didn't need to force herself out of her comforts, it was more so that she knew that none of us wanted her to be uncomfortable, didn't want her to push herself to do things she didn't need to. And when I'd told her I'd be waiting for that talk; I didn't expect for my phone to ping as I was at the traffic lights driving back.

Or for it to have pinged because (Y/N) had sent me a text message asking if we could meet, if we could talk. There had been no hesitation whatsoever as I replied back, turning the car around to drive back. I texted her to meet me at a nearby café, not too far from the studio but I was already nervously waiting, feet tapping impatiently and eyes widely scanning the door every time it swung open to see if it was her.

But when she did arrive, I still wasn't mentally prepared. Not prepared for the look of utter grief and misery on her face, or the defeated curved slump of her shoulders and her telling doe eyes which were dim and lacking their usual bright shine.

Something was wrong.

Something had happened.

She crumples in the chair opposite me, face downcast as she peers at the table.

And I feel guilt. Regret. I shouldn't have made her walk alone when she wasn't feeling the best emotionally. I should've just picked her up from the studio.

I knew that when your mind wasn't clear and it was distracted, it was incredibly easy to find yourself lost, ambling onto streets you didn't recognise, it was easy to be so immersed in whatever was plaguing you that you don't note where your feet have led you.

My heart squeezes tightly in relief that she'd made it here, that she hadn't been too distracted.

But it's clear now as she sits in front of me that she's lost in thought, unconsciously having felt comfortable enough to be immersed in them.

The thought that she sees me as someone she can be comfortable around makes me feel tingles of surprised pleasure.

"(Y/N), did you feel weird being alone at the studio with Tae?" I carefully hedge, figuring that if she'd rushed away from the studio- when her face had brightly lit up on her entrance, then it might be something to do with being alone with Tae.

She raises her head, eyes dull and defeated looking as she gives a small timid nod.

My heart aches for her.

And then she seems to silently dither, looking torn about whether or not she should say whatever she's feeling.

I scan the table, spotting napkins but fail to find a pen after patting my pockets to try and search for one. She silently watches, a small sad smile playing at her lips that curves up slightly at the edges when I offer my arm to her, tugging the sleeve of my top up to bare my forearm to her. Her personal paper to write on.

Her fingers, delicate and small, hover over my skin tentatively before she reaches a mental conclusion and the tip of her finger begins to trace letters onto my skin.

It's hard to focus when all I can think of is how gentle and teasing her touches are to me, distracting feathery grazes of her finger as she spells out something.

And then when my mind scrambles to piece together the sentence she's traced on my arm, my heart sinks with despair and sorrow- clenching painfully for her, with her.

Do I make any of you uncomfortable?

I shake my head furiously.

"Why would you ever think that?" I ask, frowning confusedly at her.

She shrugs half-heartedly before her finger returns.

Did seeing me at the club bother any of you?

I shake my head, albeit a tad bit slower.

Bother...no. Distract...yes.

It was a guilty thought I'd harboured alone as I nursed my drinks, the buzz of them not hitting as hard as the sight of her had. She was stunning.

Not just that night but even in the slightest of actions that she did whenever I saw her. But that night had driven in something.

She looks at me unsure.

I tilt my arm towards her.

Silently telling her it was fine to share, it was fine to unburden herself.

And when I shoot her a small encouraging smile and a nod, she runs her finger over my skin once more- igniting warmth where her skin touches mine.

Taehyung's pretending that he never came upto me. Did I scare him off?

I pause. I recalled Tae's behaviour during the night, when Jiminie had vanished into the crowds with a determined look. And when he'd returned flushed and happy, a few drinks in he'd divulged that he'd asked (Y/N) to dance.

It'd made sense. Co-dancers could dance together. Technically none of us needed to feel guilty for wanting to dance with her. She was someone we'd easily welcomed into our circle, a friend who'd grown closer extremely quickly with all of us.

But it had sparked a fiery glint in Tae's eyes, and the usual lightweight had downed several colourful fruity alcoholic drinks with Hobi and Kookie, becoming more and more vocal and encouraged by his train of thoughts until he'd headed off into the crowds of bodies.

And later on I'd spotted the happy grin he was sporting as he danced with her, and later on when he kept mumbling into Hobi's neck and then my in turn how wonderful of a dancer she was, a pretty princess.

So for him to pretend it had never happened was a low blow. I never expected him to do it. And it was clear that it was plaguing (Y/N), who's reaction was perfectly rational.

I felt protectiveness bubble up on her behalf.

How could he do something like that to her?

Especially when it had meant something to both of them?

I mentally decided I'd talk to him later about it; it wasn't fair to do that to her.

I knew just how subverted in herself she'd been when we all first met her, knew, and recalled the difference in who she was then and how she was now.

She'd come so far. And to see all of it precariously wobble because of Tae's actions, to see her self-efforts and personal struggles waver because of Tae's ignorance, no matter what had caused him to do it, just wasn't fair to her.

I wince at the wounded look in her eyes.

"I don't know why Tae did that, he seemed really happy that night. But I can talk to him for you." I offer, not expecting the vehement shake of her head and the widening of her eyes. Clear alarm at the prospect.

"I promise to do it delicately. I won't throw you in for a loop (Y/N), can you trust me on that?" I ask, feeling the need to reassure her, comfort her. To see the sadness fade from her eyes, because some part of me just shifts with unease and discomfort seeing her so downcast, so vulnerable.

Her head is curved downwards, hiding her eyes from my view as I speak but there's the sound of a barely audible, muffled wounded noise. A stifled sound of pain.

And it comes from in front of me.

And at that moment my soul tears itself apart when I make the connection that for someone who doesn't willingly speak or make sound, for someone selectively mute to make a sound of distress...Tae's actions have hurt her on a level beyond the surface. It had shaken her up and made her upset in a way I don't think he'd realised.

Because knowing how giddy he got whenever she came into discussion, seeing how fondly he treasured the mug she'd given him- I know he would tear himself apart if he knew. If he knew what his feigned ignorance had done.

That sound worms its way through my mind and heart and wedges itself forcefully there- compelling me to remember and recall it, to be reminded later on that she'd been unconsciously forced to make the sound in her pain.

And it hurts that she made a sound and it wasn't one of happiness.

It makes me feel like I've failed her. And that somewhere along the lines I failed Tae too.

She nods her head. Telling me she does trust me, but her eyes still look full of conflict, still look torn.

Confused about whether her feelings would drive a shift, cause unnecessary problems.

But her feelings matter. She matters.

And I know once Tae knows, he'll be eager and desperate to rectify himself.

I reach out to take the hand fiddling with the drink I'd ordered her- something sweet. Both because I'd noted her sweet tooth but also because it was good to get a rush of energy, especially when she felt so down.

"It'll all work out, I'll fix things." I promise.

She looks at me with wide trusting sweet eyes.

I have to fix this.

My hand brushes against hers before taking it, squeezing lightly

"Drink up lovely." I urge, biting my tongue at the slip up I've made- mentally bracing myself for a flinch or scared expression, for her hand to retreat just as it had that fateful day at the dance studio.

It had been instinct, to coddle a sad dongsaeng into eating something or cheering them up and my eyes hesitantly meet hers, a wide smile stretching out when I see the rosy dusting to her cheeks and the way her lips have curved up into a genuine smile finally.

And then I let go of her hand, already missing the warmth and the way her hand had easily vanished in my own. She takes to taking small sips of the drink, seeming to brighten up slowly.

I take great pleasure in seeing her finish the drink and then slide the plate over towards her, I'd just eaten but wasn't sure if she had. And this way I could make sure she did. That she wasn't forgetting to eat when she was lost in thought. It made me feel like I'd accomplished something, a sense of pride at seeing her brighten up, maybe it was Jin hyung's caring instincts beginning to rub off onto me or something.

And when the two of us get up and leave, I drive her back home- shaking my head when she gestures to the door and looks at me with a head tilt.

Not today. 

"Another time." I promise.

Because today I've got to fix things with Tae. I've got to make things right. Sort things from getting ruined when they've barely started.

And as I drive home, alone to my thoughts, I begin to realise somethings. Begin to label certain feelings. 

The sight of her as she was at the club floats to my mind, alongside how she looked today. And when I process the slight breathlessness, the silent jolt of wonder she did to my system begins to make sense.

It made me realise with a growing amount of shame and clashing longing that maybe the feelings of warmth and happiness I'd feel around her, the tug of fascination and intrigue, the worry and the protectiveness wasn't veering on the platonic side anymore.

Slowly and at some point it had begun to shift, turning towards her with a newer set of feelings I hadn't ventured into exploring, hadn't taken the time to pause and examine.

But it looks like I'd be doing that now, to try and understand when and how it had happened. When had it been that (Y/N) had slowly begun to slip into my heart with a different light and how had I never realised?

(Y/N) POV:

I pad into the living room, not expecting to find Habaek oppa there. My mouth is about to open to greet him when my eyes drift sideways and spot another familiar figure- eyes widening, and lips clamping shut.

Namjoon.

I'd intended to curl up on the sofa and try process my thoughts, the sight of oppa had me want to curl onto his lap instead and talk things out with him. What I hadn't expected was for Namjoon to be here early afternoon. And from the looks of it he wasn't expecting anyone to enter, eyes widening as he looks at me through loose strands of hair, swamped in a large jumper.

"Cherub! You weren't going to be back for some time." Habaek oppa says slightly surprised but his arms widen to reach out to grab me into a hug, tugging me easily onto his lap- to wound long warm limbs around me as he happily greets me.

I happily lean into the touch, winding my arms around him to hug him back and happily taking the peck on my cheek before he lets me go.

I wave at Namjoon, smiling and signing a greeting to him and watching as his eyes light up and he enthusiastically reciprocates, gestures solid and confident- different to how he'd been when he'd first started.

Quick learner.

"How've you been? Any more book recommendations? And ooh...the others really liked the desserts; they couldn't believe you helped me make the sponge." Namjoon says, all in a mixture of adorable enthusiasm and sweetness as he peers at me, eyes bright and leaning up to sit straighter, unconsciously leaning forward.

Of course you can do it. You just needed the right teacher. I sign, and watch as he pauses, eyebrows scrunched in slight confusion- it's adorable.

But then Habaek oppa says it for me and he nods eagerly.

"Between you and me, you teach better than the hyungs." He confides, eyes sparkling with laughter and amusement, making my own smile grow larger.

Habaek oppa smiles but there's a tightness between his brows, a suspiciously knowing gleam to his eyes and I hurriedly take in the books and papers around them, shifting back and signing apologetically to the two of them for disturbing them.

I sign to oppa that I'll head up to give them space but he gives a shake of his head, snagging my wrist in his hold.

"Stay, you know I wouldn't ever mind." He says, voice soft.

But under it is the gentle waves of concern, the knowing gaze in his eyes far too penetrative.

He knows something happened.

And as such, he doesn't feel comfortable letting me out of his sight.

I can't blame him considering the several different states he has found me in when something bothers me, either in a state of distress and hurt, or trying to push them away by mindlessly doing chores.

I pad over to the bookshelf trying to scan for the book I'd been reading, and frowning when I don't catch sight of it, tilting my head back to try and scan it one the other shelves and silently sighing when I see it placed out of reach. On the higher shelves that only Habaek oppa can reach. Not that Mi-sun unnie would bother with reaching for his 'boring books' anyways as she claims.

But before I can turn to ask Habaek oppa to get it off for me, I find his hand reaching out to pluck it for me from the shelf, knowing as it picks the book different from the rest, the bright cover giving away it doesn't belong with the research ones.

And instinctively I lean into him, hand reaching out to squeeze his hip in thanks. I get a warm huff in response and turn to see him smiling at me as he hands it over, before heading back.

And when I make my way to the opposite sofa, plucking a folded throw from the side I meet Namjoon's eyes, startled to find they'd already been on me, watching me and he smiles- though it seems slightly strained, grip on the book seeming tight.

But I try not to overanalyse the reaction, curling up on the sofa and drawing the throw over me to tuck myself up as I read, forgetting that Namjoon is on the opposite sofa with Habaek oppa as I immerse myself in the pages.

But after some time I find my eyes growing heavy in the warmth of being tucked under the throw, of being in a comfortable lying down position, struggling to keep my eyes focused on the page, book feeling heavy and burdensome to hold up with each passing minute.

My eyes keep fluttering shut, snapping them wide open when they slide shut and trying to focus on the words once more. But slowly my hands lose their tight fixed grip on the book and it slips out of my hand and my head resting against the cushions now sink into them, letting go.

----

I don't know whether I imagine it but there's the sensation of the throw being drawn up over me, hands light and gentle as they cover me again and in my sleepy haze I nuzzle close to the hand that rests near me, feeling safe and content.

But then the warm fuzzy haze of sleep disappears in what must be only moments later when there's a gentle hand grazing across my cheek and followed by a much more enthusiastic, eager kiss to the skin, phrases giggled into my cheek.

"Wake up sleepyhead, you won't be able to sleep at night in this case." Mi-sun unnie coos, hand gently drawing back the throw to kiss my neck; I sigh and shift, feeling far too content in the hazy space between sleep and consciousness to want to blink my eyes open.

But when she continues to tease me with her affectionate touches, I blink them open- not feeling too bothered because I hadn't napped to get rid of exhaustion, and so there isn't that clinging dull throb that comes with waking up unrested.

"There she is. My darling baby." She coos, drawing me up, and revealing that one hand had already gently taken the book away from harm's way.

I smile as I sit up, throw falling down as I rub my eyes.

"Where's oppa and Namjoon gone?" I sign, noting the empty couch.

Had I been asleep for that long?

She giggles shaking her head.

"You haven't been sleeping that long, they headed to the kitchen for a snack. And Habaek's probably fixing the two of us something too- you know how much he adores feeding you." she says, smiling.

She does too.

She always claims it makes her feel all gooey and gushy, that she gets to feed me at will. 

And true to her word Habaek oppa calls out for us, voice lively and with a tone of slight hurriedness as he says that it's best eaten warm.

And I pad over into the kitchen before unnie, in my still slightly sleepy state making an immediate beeline for him as he stands in front of the counter and wrapping my arms around him, nestling against his side.

"Cherub, food's at the table." A voice comes behind me and I stiffen and freeze, arms going slightly slack around the torso I've just hugged.

I slowly raise my head to find a pair of startled eyes meeting mine, a familiar face but one that's not Habaek oppa's.

How on earth did I mistake the two?

And right now with my arms around his torso, I stand frozen as I peer at him, arms about to fall away and hands about to rush to cover my face.

But then he surprises me by dropping his hands to squeeze gently at my arms and then slowly, almost startingly shy and careful, wraps his arms around my shoulders.

"It's okay. I wondered when I'd get a hug from you." he murmurs, voice low and reaching my ears.

My cheeks burn.

Both at the situation and then at guilty pleasure at the fact he'd been waiting for me to initiate contact, that he'd respected the silent boundaries and distances until I'd overcome them.

And maybe just maybe...I lean slightly into his touch.

(THERE YOU GO! ANOTHER CHAPTER, I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD END UP GETTING COMPELTED TODAY SO INTENDED TO HAVE IT POSTED TOMORROW BUT LUCKY ME! IT GOT WRITTEN IN GOOD TIME! AND THERE WE HAVE IT, THE HEART TO HEART WITH YOONGI AND THEN COMING HOME TO FIND NAMJOON! HOW DID YOU FIND THE FINAL MOMENT, HOW DID YOU THINK IT WAS? I HOPE IT WAS AS CUTE AS I IMAGINED IT! SO DO LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS AND CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR YOUR REACTIONS! AHHH~ I'M SO HAPPY WITH THE WAY IT'S ABOUT TO GO NEXT, WE'RE GETTING CLOSER TO THE REVEAL OF EMOTIONS FROM THE BOYS IN A CHAPTER OR SO, STAY TUNED AND EYES PEELED FOR HOW IT'LL HAPPEN! AND TAE!! YOONGI IS COMING TO MAKE AMENDS, NO WAY WILL HE HAVE AN UPSET BABY!! AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW TAE WILL TRY MAKE IT UPTO HER, AND HOW HE'LL FEEL TOO! STAY SAFE AND TAKE CARE!!)

QUESTION...THE LAST ARGUMENT YOU HAD WITH YOUR FRIEND?

Mine is...I invited my friends over after lockdown was eased, so early September and that same day I got ill and my throat began to hurt and I just didn't feel well, maybe some of you will remember back then (?), anyways! Here I was tracking down who could've made me ill by being all detective and my friend was trying to be sympathetic and gave me tips, but she kept throwing in teasing comments too. So I accused her of not caring enough for me, because she's the mother of our group, and she defended herself- demanding proof that she didn't care. But it wasn't an argument...more of a jokey, teasy- I care! And me saying prove you care for me! It basically was that we argued about how much she cared for me...poor dear got ill just after me then. She's a sweetheart!

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3