MI-SUN POV:

It's an opportunity that comes in the form of my dance teachers. One Park Jimin and one Jung Hoseok. I notice them amble past, talking to each other happily- hands encased in each other's holds as they walk past. An opportunity that comes because (Y/N) bends down at that moment to get one of the jeans I've requested her to in my size. And so she doesn't notice them.

And when she straightens she angrily signs to me that she will not be wearing most of the items I keep pulling off racks and shelves in her size.

Oh my poor dear unknowing baby...has she still not learnt I'll wrangle her into these clothes one way or another? And she does look absolutely fabulous in them, super scrumptious...that if I didn't have the urge to spend all these centuries doting on her and continue to spend eternity doing so if I could, I would just gobble her up. But I do know that perhaps there are some willing to do that for me, some who's eyes linger on her and not only in the same sweet loving manner that mine and Habaek's do.

And two of those suspected people have just ambled in...right into my eagerly awaiting hands.

(Y/N) taps at my shoulder, to get my attention again and then pouts in a huff when all I do is simply turn to pull a black sheer top off the racks- eyeing the tasteful and very strategically placed embroidery and embellishments and she immediately zeroes in onto the size. Her size to be exact.

I shoot her a look as if to say, 'you know it'll look good, own it' and she sighs silently, dismayed, and resigned.

But I do dial it down and begin choosing some softer shades, some longer dresses and tops too. Maybe it's not a necessity for her, but for me- seeing her adorned in the clothes I've chosen, there's something both personal and intimate about it that makes me feel touched, proud too when I see her wearing them, owning those outfits and being her sweet dazzling self.

I can see the silent argument, the repetitive questions in her eyes- primarily the one of 'why do you do this to me?'. She won't know the pleasure I get to see her in the clothes I choose and buy for her, very much similar to the pleasure Habaek gets when he sees her drowning in his clothes. He'd actually been in tears the first time it had happened. When she very shyly and hesitantly tugged at his sleeve and asked whether she was allowed to borrow his clothes, that they made her feel safe and feel as if she was wrapped up in a hug by him even if he wasn't there. 

And he'd nodded, silent tears trickling down and peppered kisses over her face, smiling at her look of confusion and nodded frantically- tugging her with him and threw open the wardrobe doors, telling her that from that moment onwards she was allowed to take whatever she wanted, no questions ever asked.

I break myself free from those soft nostalgic thoughts.

"Oh just indulge me. You know I like playing dress-up with you. You're the only one who actually lets me make you into a doll." I sigh, a mixture of lamenting and wheedling- shooting her puppy eyes. (Y/N) was a sucker for puppy eyes.

She looks at me, clearly unaffected at the moment. Looking at me unbothered. I forgot she's had centuries of them. She must've built some sort of immunity to them, otherwise she'd have signed up to everything I ever proposed, would've seen so much easier to convince.

"Don't do this to me...is it such a crime to want to dress up my darling? You're gorgeous and I don't think it's a crime if we show the world that." I continue, pouting at her. I hear two familiar voices, just the bare minimum of them trailing over. Reminding me what it was I was trying to ascertain. Trying to make sure of.

She's just the slightest bit close to thawing, I know I need a big push to get her to agree.

And as much as I love her...sometimes you just got to play dirty.

"Listen my love. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. If you try these on and model for me sweetheart, then I won't force you to buy lingerie of my choice. If you don't then I'll drag you to the changing rooms, make you model these AND buy lingerie of my choice." I say teasingly, but it doesn't veil the seriousness, the threat she knows I will carry out.

It's not that she wants to hide her body from me or that she's not comfortable and secure in her skin- Habaek and I had made sure she knew just how much she should be proud of herself, when we'd reinforced the lesson that every body is beautiful. That wasn't the case whatsoever.

It was more to do with the fact she often came out scandalised from the lingerie store. Because I loved teasing her and getting her to try the most outrageous of lingerie sets. It was the only way that got her to agree with buying the ones I'd initially proposed. But she didn't need to know that tactic.

And besides...she'd learnt after the first few times just how much of a risk it was going with me, learnt it from the way I'd barged into the changing room when she was too shy and hesitant to step out and been awed by the beauty she was. I had taken it to be my personal responsibility to make sure she was proud of that body, that she embraced it, that she loved her curves and her angles. Learnt it from the way I couldn't stop gushing. 

So I know I've said the right thing when I see her eyes widen both in silent panic as well as a plea- silently begging for me not to do that again.

And I turn to stroll away, smiling privately to myself when I hear her fumble and rush after me.

Bingo.

I freeze because whilst I did know they were likely to be somewhere on the other side, I didn't expect for them to be right behind us, only separated by the wall that partitions the space. 

And then I feel (Y/N) collide with my back, feel her peep over and dart back behind me, hiding. 

Cutie. 

"Hoseok, Jimin...a surprise meeting you here." I begin lightly. What a surprise meeting them here.

But seeing their flustered expressions, the slight pink tint on their cheeks, I know I have to verify. For both (Y/N) and myself.

"How much did you overhear?" I ask.

Jimin shakes his hands, taking it as slightly confrontational and accusatory. Not my intention.

"We didn't mean to overhear; it was really just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time." he says but I notice whilst he's answering my question, his eyes aren't focused on me but rather straining to catch sight of my hidden darling behind me.

Interesting.

Hoseok nods vehemently in agreement.

"We're really sorry Mi-sun...but from the point where you were talking to (Y/N) about trying on clothes...?" he says, almost as if he's ashamed to voice it but also ending it in a questioning tone.

"It's okay. I guess the fault is mine...it would make anyone feel uncomfortable. Especially without context." I say, suppressing the inner me that's leaping around in glee and exulting.

It seems like my hunches are correct.

That the closeness, the worry, and lingering drifting looks to (Y/N) I'd noted when they'd come to drop her off were more than platonic.

That they'd began to value and treasure her for being her, and were pulled to her personality despite the fact she'd never spoken. It made me feel like they were good people. Who were enamoured even without having heard her voice.

Instilled a small shred of hope in humanity.

Which is why I'm gambling when Hoseok returns happily with (Y/N) bearing matching coupling jumpers. I distantly think that she'd look good in a matching jumper too.

But when I invite Hoseok to help choose her clothes, help pick from the pile I've amassed- it's a test of sorts. Whether he knows her well, knows what she'd prefer. Of course there are some pieces that don't get picked but are ones I've set my heart on getting her. His choices are very flattering as well as very her. Very much the style she's wearing these days.

And it's with sharp eyes and ears I look and hear their reactions, trying to gauge whether for Hoseok his compliments are platonic...it seems to match his bright, friendly self but his eyes speak different volumes, caught on her and drinking in the sight of her, as if he's a man parched. And Jimin...Jimin seems to be stunned into silence with a look of confusion that it makes me feel bad slightly, until he finally speaks- voice breathless.

And I note all this, mentally file it away.

Maybe it's not just me thinking this. Maybe, quite possibly...I've found not one but two people enamoured by (Y/N). 

The only problem is...neither they nor (Y/N) realise that.

Which could be a tiny problem.

(Y/N) POV:

I don't know why but a part of me is pleased at what Hoseok and Jimin say, found myself happy by it even though I couldn't remember the last time someone else's thoughts and words had affected me so, had me silently flutter and cheeks flame.

And the way Hoseok and Jimin had looked at me, eyes intently trained on me as I'd filed out of the changing room over and over had me want to stand taller under their assessing gazes, made me consciously wonder whether Mi-sun unnie was just shoving any sort of clothes at me or whether they'd even flattered me in the slightest

And when we pile out of the shop, the bags of clothes weighing on my hands as well as unnie's, we'd parted ways; Hoseok flushing as he mentioned that we should continue on shopping, eyes not fully meeting ours.

And when they'd walked away and unnie had laughed delighted and turned to me.

"Well...shall we dearest? Do lingerie shopping?" she said, hand already around mine as she tugs us towards a shop with mannequins adorned in sultry sets, ducking my head down and feeling my cheeks burn because whether or not I could confirm it- I knew people always got glances on entering such shops.

And the female sales advisor who greets us, runs silently assessing eyes over us- all professionalism and friendliness as she does so before speaking.

"Are there any particular things you're looking for? Or would you like to browse before requiring assistance?" she says.

"It's okay, we know our way around. But thank you anyways." Mi-sun unnie says, nodding her head and smiling at the assistant who nods and instead heads over for a man who seems to be baffled as he looks at the sets, silently contemplating and wondering.

Unnie giggles, a sweet bright sound as she tugs me over, further into the store.

Mi-sun unnie has always had the confidence and ability to pull off anything and everything. And she's always encouraged body positivity- not only between us as a family but also to others- having been a major campaigner for it. She's also had big roles in being the silent push for change, helping in ways that doesn't draw her to the public's eye yet makes all the difference.

But that confidence doesn't come as easily and naturally to me.

And I know her eyes always hold that silent unshown understanding of times past- especially of how her and Habaek oppa had built me back up after a particularly toxic relationship. When she'd sat me down and made me understand that a man who requires me to change to fit in his ideals of his perfect woman- going to the extents of intentionally buying smaller clothes and gifts for me to force myself to shrink to fit into and who'd make sardonic crude comments about what I ate and indulged in didn't deserve me point blank. Especially when she'd commented that there had been nothing wrong with me. That too was part of the Ocean's touch- our bodies were desirable to all. But he'd still tried to make me into a warped shattered version of myself.

It had taken time but her and Habaek oppa without fail had reminded me of that, had taught me to love myself and to speak myself- that if that happened, then I didn't just let it. I stopped it.

Life hadn't been benevolent, but it had taught me several lessons.

Which is why I quietly pick out a few sets, feeling emboldened by Mi-sun unnie's silent encouragement and smiles, when she subtly led me to pieces that were both tasteful, exquisite, and pretty but also styles I wouldn't mind, colours I loved adorning myself in.

And why I'm both silently grateful and touched that she doesn't push and feel secure under her bright complimenting eyes and words when I show them to her.

When she sees my eyes linger on some bold brighter pieces, she just asks for them to be brought in my size- the assistant measuring my bust and hips politely so she can get the best fit.

Because the lingerie store trip isn't too bad, not when I've come so far from the person I'd become, and because of the person I am now.

Because sometimes confidence isn't about speaking out aloud, it's also those silent personal gestures you do for yourself, for those indulgent acts you do just for you.

----

But with every good thing comes a bad. With every cloud comes a silver lining. With every up comes a down.

And in all honesty I should've known.

That for every sweet word there would've been a cost. That whilst I was indulging in a bit of good old self-love, Mi-sun unnie's disappearance from my changing room should've flagged as suspicious.

So should've the number of bags from our shopping that looked far too much for the clothes the two of us had picked out.

Because of course she had a plan.

Because of course in those bags had been clothes for Habaek oppa too. And the bag of boxers she'd handed over to him which he'd accepted easily as well as the new pyjama sets should've rang bells.

Alarm bells.

And whilst I thought this called for another pamper night, that I would happily indulge in.

It wasn't the case.

Because of course under that ruse she'd happily pulled out outfits for us to wear to a club she'd recently looked up and been impressed by the tasteful reviews and images. Because of course she'd only allowed me to get away with the majority of the outfits being soft and my style to spring this on me.

I stare at the clothes she shoves into my arms with a bright excited grin, her own outfit far more revealing and fitting by the looks of it.

"Come on (Y/N)... you know we've always looked after you. That it's not the same if the two of us head out together." She wheedles.

And though Habaek oppa rolls his eyes he doesn't seem put-off by the idea of heading out tonight.

"I need a breather from the research. Maybe tonight will be a little escape. From all my worries." He says.

And he's not saying it to push me into it, or even convince me in the slightest- the look in his eyes silently tell me that if I say no, then he won't push it, he'll drop the idea immediately and gladly compensate for the night out for a night in with me.

But I think for them. Think about them. I knew that sometimes clubs gave them that relief that other forms of managing with their thoughts couldn't. Knew that they lost themselves in the feeling of just being immersed into the crowd, not necessarily intoxicated by drinks but more in the ambience, of the feeling of becoming just another of the sea of bodies, becoming nameless in the crowd.

Because that was when they weren't sirens, but we were just bodies moving fluidly together, moving in sync to the music.

I saw the appeal to it. Had found myself turning to that appeal too at times.

Which is why I nod.

Because why not?

Why not lose myself in that feeling tonight?

Why not indulge unnie and wear the clothes? I can't deny that they're of good taste.

So when she cheers and oppa gives me a soft smile, I find myself becoming slowly excited and tempted by the idea.

It's a night to let my hair down, it's a night to forget that I'm a siren.

Tonight is about forgetting all those worries and concerns.

Today I'm me. 

(THERE YOU GO...WE FINALLY GET MI-SUN'S INSIGHT AND SOME MORE FROM OUR BABY. SO THIS CHAPTER WAS MAINLY BUILD-UP FOR WHAT'S TO COME WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER. I'M NOT TRYING TO GLAMOURISE CLUBBING OR DRINKING OR STUFF- BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABOUT DRINKING UNTIL YOU LOSE SENSE, MORE ABOUT LOSING IDENTITY AND STUFF; IT'LL BE EXPLORED MORE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER BUT I HOPE THAT IT GETS MADE CLEAR MORE. AND THAT IT WAS CLEAR IN THIS CHAPTER TOO. LET ME KNOW IF THAT WAS THE CASE! AND I'M EXCITED TO WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER..THIS WAS BEING BUILT TOWARDS FOR A LONG TIME AND I'M PLEASANTLY SURPRISED NONE OF YOU SHARP EYED LOVELIES PICKED UP ON IT! SURPRISE~ AND EVEN THOUGH SHE'S A BABY...SHE'S BEEN THERE WHEN PARTIES AND CLUBBING CULTURE GOT CREATED- SHE KNOWS HOW TO ACE IT! LET'S SEE WHAT SIDE OF (Y/N) WE SEE NEXT CHAPTER AND WHETHER IT'LL COME WITH A DASH OF TROUBLE OR NOT!! LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS MY LOVELIES!! AND MI-SUN THE MATCHMAKER IS HERE!! SHE WILL BE THE PUSHING SILENT FORCE SO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR HER! STAY SAFE!)

QUESTION...IN THREE YEARS TIME WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE DOING AND JUST OUT OF CURIOUSITY WHAT DO YOU RECKON I'LL BE DOING?

Mine is...three years could bring a lot of change so I won't elaborate....yet much but I'll have graduated and hopefully well into my PGCE course! I want to travel too after graduating! And I think for you guys...because you're all of different ages- the ones at college level will have embarked onto journeys for unis or work, my little loves will be reaching those exam periods before college and my lovely older readers will be on even more exciting new adventures. But all of you I hope are happier with yourselves, happier as people and living as better versions of yourself. That you all grow to accept and love yourselves more and continue being the bright stars in your own universes and other people's lives too. Wherever you are and wherever you go...in three years above all I hope you're happy and taking life's opportunities very eagerly.

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3