(Y/N) POV:

The moment Her order is said, it ripples over us, forces the part of Her that is in us to rise to the surface, to part our mouths under Her authority and to sing.

A song that is haunting and sweet- the siren call to death, the sweetness of the melody a soft soothing lure, a lullaby as we send them to watery graves.

I see the moment our voices reach them, see the glazed look overtake their eyes and wipe out any other expression, nothing but bliss and relaxation falling over them. I see the blind need fill their eyes, the need to get closer and closer to us, to the source of the melody that calls them in. I feel my heart and soul twist with agony, writhing and struggling against the order that compels us to sing, that forces it out of our lungs.

I see how the couple who'd been the first ones at the railing, smile droopily, arms that were around each other remaining there as they lean forward and topple into the water- I feel nausea begin to churn my stomach when others begin to tip themselves in, bodies making small splashes into the water as they either drown or flail as they try to swim to us, try to get closer. And over the haunting poisonous lure of our voices I can hear slight screams, of people who hadn't rushed to the edge crying out in alarm, not knowing what's going on but still trying to tug people back. And then few make the mistake of peering into the waters, to see what it is that's causing the madness and see the moment their eyes become glazed, when their shouts peter out and the song swirls into their ears.

And yet still we sing, even as tears slip down my cheeks silently, even as I scream and beg for the Ocean to stop, that this is enough, this is enough destruction, this is enough loss and carnage.

And people continue to lean over the edge, continue to sink into Her watery depths or struggle to get to us, but even so I can hear some screams, see some of them fight it off- see a mother scream and weep for her children who sink downwards, screams for her husband who's eyes are glazed and unfocused.

I see when her eyes meet mine and they're full of anguish and hurt and hatred- burning themselves across my soul.

"Why? Leave them! You're monsters!" she shrieks, voice high and distressed and hoarse.

And I watch as she's suddenly tugged under the waters, suddenly disappearing from sight- because her voice had shaken one person out of the trance and the Ocean couldn't have that.

I watch the spot feeling my soul tear and shred itself, feel my heart break again and tears to cloud my vision. Feel her words as ones that brand themselves across my skin, burning and searing.

I am a monster.

I'm despicable.

And slowly when the bodies continue to disappear from the water's surface, disappear as they sink to Her depths, my eyes fall onto a few children- young, barely older than six struggling to stay afloat, eyes glazed and small bodies sinking.

I don't know if it's the sight of them that does it or whatever has happened tonight because I suddenly stop singing, stop as my internal screaming is suddenly hear and causes the waters to shift and ripple.

"STOP! JUST STOP! YOU'VE TAKEN ENOUGH!" I scream into the vast empty surroundings, see as my shout causes a bit of the haze to disappear from the eyes of the children. I find myself moving forward, shifting to get closer to them, to do something, anything to save them when I find Her waters holding me in a vice grip, the songs of the others pouring out still and again I find myself forced to join, to trance them again and watch as they sink.

And when the waters are softly churning and only the six of us remain- I feel the order slip away and once again we are all in control. I feel the horror and dread and fear of what I've done, of the countless lives I've taken again swamp over me, feel the trickle of tears become a heavy downpour as I shudder and shake- feel the revulsion toward myself mount higher and higher.

I hate myself.

And as I feel my body tremble and shake, Her waters icy and cruel against my skin, the breeze harsh and stinging against my exposed body- I wrap my arms around myself, shivering and feel the others shift closer to hold me, Habaek oppa and Mi-sun unnie shaky as they reach me, chalky complexions as they hold me. The other three move close to- devastation and fear on their faces as they form a protective barrier around me.

But that doesn't matter. Not when we're in Her waters.

Because I find myself harshly yanked out of gentle hands, find the water sharp and prickling and furious- rage swelling with each harsh slapping of Her waves against me.

You dared defy me. Defy the service you swore to do for me. Her voice comes out in a deep hiss, thick with disgust and disappointment.

I shake at the feeling of hostility and resentment crashing into me with every unforgiving wave.

"Why can't you see...why can't you stop with a few? Why do you take families away from each other?" I sob and gasp out, lungs constricting.

You know why. I do it for you. I do it because I see how much it disturbs you, so I do larger ships so I'm satiated for longer. I think of you as mine and this is what you do. Her voice is disappointed, makes me feel disgusted, both at her and myself.

And you made it worse when you stopped singing. You made them aware of what was happening. You caused them distress as they were dying. She says, each word an accusation, a slap to the face.

I did. I made it worse.

You know what I do to those who go against their oath. You know what I can do to you. Don't push me to it. She warns, haughty and cold and stern.

The others sweep in close, pushing and fighting against the churning angry tides of Her to get to me.

"Forgive her, she forgot." Mi-sun unnie pleads, her bold and beautifully defiant face holding an expression of submission, of soft demureness.

"She has always had a tender heart. Please show her your mercy." Habaek oppa joins, head lowered in both a plea and apology.

I hate it, hate that they have to beg for me.

The other three drift over to flank my sides.

"We will teach her again." Chang-wook oppa says, soft face expressing sorrow and disappointment- at having failed at something I knew and remembered just how patiently he'd taught me, taught the three of us. He hadn't failed, I had.

"Spare her." Woo-bin oppa says, voice hiding his usual warmth, stoic and blank.

"Please." Suzy unnie begs. She never begs. She's our strong older sister.

I feel tears of shame prickle my eyes too as we all wait for Her verdict, for Her forgiveness.

Which does nothing except keep me alive.

I'll forgive you because though you've lived long, your heart and soul are still naïve. I'll let you live because your family wished it. Her voice comes through, still distant and cool.

And there's nothing more said as we're pulled under Her waters, the brief fear that I wouldn't be able to breathe gone when the usual speed and current carries us back, brings us back to the shores we'd left from. We stagger out, feeling the cool air nip harshly at our exposed skin.

I blindly stumble to the shore, falling to my knees and feel my stomach spasm- heaving and gasping for breath as my stomach empties itself, as the fear and shock of today's service crashes into me, makes the nausea grow and grow.

A warm large hand settles on the middle of my back, warm against my chilled wet skin.

"You're okay. We're done." A deep soothing voice calls.

I draw in sharp lungfuls of air greedily until I taste the salty tang to it, the proof of what we've just left hanging heavily over my senses, still clouding it with Her traces.

I struggle to get to my feet, feeling two pair of arms support me as I try to rush away from Her, from the waters- panic rising as I crash a safe distance away, head dropping to rest against bare knees.

There's the sound of murmurs, of them shifting.

And it's a few minutes later that I feel myself being shifted, Habaek oppa's silent sombre face softening as he meets my eyes and carefully helps me into my jumper, tugging it over my head and threading my arms through it. He captures my hands between his, cupping them as he rubs and blows gently to get some warmth back into the chilled digits.

Woo-bin oppa drops down beside me, leaning over to brush a kiss to my hair, looking at me sadly.

"It never gets any easier does it?" he asks, already knowing the answer.

"Have courage (Y/N). Don't let Her ruin your life, the person you are beyond being a siren." Chang-wook oppa says, voice warm and soft- compassionate and understanding as always.

I glance up to see Mi-sun unnie clutching at Suzy unnie, eyes red as she peers at me out of the embrace, face worried and pale and shocked.

"I thought you were going to die." Mi-sun unnie says, voice thick with tears.

"I thought you were going to die and I'd have to spend the rest of our service and my life after that living in grief." She sobs out, dropping to her knees, unnie sinking down with her.

She scrabbles to clutch my hand, skin damp and clammy as she burrows herself against my side.

"Maybe dying would be better than living with this." I say numbly, eyes meeting the shocked stares with a numbness.

"You don't mean that." Suzy unnie breathes, lips parted.

"I do. Because I'm sick and tired of it. I'm tired of being a monster, I'm tired of taking lives and I'm tired of pretending that I'm fine everytime I step into Her waters. I can't even go to the seaside like normal people because I'm scared of Her." I say, staring blankly outwards.

There's a sniffle.

Habaek oppa pulls me forward to burrow me into his chest, skin damp against my cheek as he shakes and trembles, head curving over mine, blocking out the sight of the water.

"Don't say it like your life means nothing. Don't say it like we wouldn't be shattered if you died. It would break us (Y/N). More than being a siren does." He mumbles.

"(Y/N) don't ever say that. We know how hard it is, we all hurt but in different ways- but we can only try to be strong, to survive." Woo-bin oppa says, turning my head so I can see him, see the soft empathy on his face.

And I let their words lull me to a state of temporary calm, seek grateful respite in it even if my mind tears itself apart a bit more.

One more day of existing, of realising that it would never get easier. Not now. Not ever.

----

The moment we reach home I'm rushing upstairs, knowing the other two are watching me go silently. Because every time this happens I feel the need to wash and scrape every lingering reminder of Her off my skin.

I throw open the bathroom door and the moment it's clocked, scrabble to get the jumper off letting it fall to the ground. And as I turn, my eyes catch sight of my reflection in the large mirror, see the way the dress seems to be crudely painted onto my skin, the decoration of it just hiding the most intimate areas- brushing over the apex of my thighs and the centre of my breasts with swirls of colour and sheer fabric. I sob as I reach for the fabric, tugging at it viciously and digging my fingers in to tear at it, to rip it off my skin, wanting it off me. Wanting to get rid of it.

The fabric easily gives way, fingers digging into skin as I pull my body free from it and then rush to get into the shower, water scalding hot- so different from the cold freezing waters of the Ocean. I scrub myself clean, several times, fingers rough and harsh as I cleanse my skin, try and wash the horrors of today off my skin.

I scrub until my skin is an angry red and I hiss in pain when the hot water fiercely stings my sensitive skin. I wash until I can no longer feel the phantom sensation of Her harsh tides, nor smell the salt of the waters. I wash until the pounding sound of the spray washes away the sound of screams, splashes, and the siren song.

And when I'm done, I grab a towel wrapping it around myself, feeling myself shiver despite the hot water I've stepped out of.

I hurry to my bedroom, quickly dressing in soft large clothes and burrowing myself under the blankets, tugging them higher and more firmly against me, feeling the chill still resonate from inside me.

I hide under the blankets and let the darkness they create try and block out the memories, I hide because I don't want to face the world, don't want to face the type of person I am.

Because sometimes hiding is better than confronting. I don't have the strength for that.

JOON POV:

"Still no reply?" I ask as I enter the living room to see Hobi, Jiminie and Kookie glance at their phones again, hear the sighs and feel the tension in the room.

I sink into the couch, frowning- wrapping an arm around Tae when he burrows into my side.

There's a shake of heads, a few pained sighs.

"Maybe we should just give her space. Maybe our surprise backfired on us." I say even as my mind replays the haunted look in her eyes over and over again, remembering how she'd staggered away from us, as if somehow our playful joke had shocked her to the core.

And I couldn't help but wonder if there was something more to it.

The way she'd curled up, back bowed as she shrunk in on herself.

Was she hurt? Injured?

And even though I tried to stick to my own words, tried to think and give her the space she needed and clearly had wanted when she'd moved away from us- I couldn't help but think over and over, scene repeatedly playing in my mind; hoping for a clue, for a hint. Something that could help me understand. Help make sense of how suddenly things had gone wrong.

"Hey Kook-ah it's okay." Jin hyung says and I turn to see him throw his phone to the side with a huff, an expression of worry and frustration on his features.

"What if she's hurting hyung? What if she won't talk to me again? What if she never wants to dance with us again?" he says, turning to our eldest hyung with a look that indicates how desperately he's seeking comfort and reassurance.

"I don't think that she'll quit dancing Kookie, she loves it too much. Just because she missed a lesson doesn't mean anything." Hobi says, though there's doubt in his eyes too.

And I recall how at dinner hyung had told us that she hadn't turned up for the baking lesson either and Tae had even returned to the park and library several times but had come downcast. Kookie had gone to the arcade too and the swimming pool but the look of dejection was answer enough.

Everyone was feeling bad. Myself included. And it hung over us like a personal storm cloud, constantly drenching us in the feelings.

Maybe it was because we'd begun to see her as a friend, maybe it was that which fuelled the worry.

And I couldn't even ask Habaek because he'd never showed at our planned meeting and when I'd called there'd been no answer and a message had popped up moments later, that he needed to leave for some personal work and he'd back in a week.

Hobi and Jiminie had even tried contacting Mi-sun, someone who'd signed up with her and they'd recalled being close with her- but whatever idea we tried had no success.

She had simply vanished and left no trace of where she'd gone. Maybe she was keeping herself away from us. Maybe she was hurting alone.

I just hoped she'd explain, give us the chance to apologise.

Springing the seven of us together wasn't the best idea.

Not the way she had such a reserved shy personality and couldn't communicate the world with the way we all could. Couldn't express herself the same way.

And when we all head off to bed, I glance down to where Hobi is curled up against my side, holding onto me as he sleeps. He shifts slightly, mumbling in his sleep and I turn to see him shuffling and shifting, leaning further into me. When he stops moving I return my attention to the book in my hands, taking in the diagrams and description that accompanies each phrase.

I look down to the diagram explaining how to sign out the phrase 'are you okay?'. And I wish that I get to see her and ask her that.

Because I really want to know if she is.

I hope she is.

(THERE YOU GO! A PAINED CHAPTER FULL OF ANGST AND HURT AND PAIN...AND GOD I JUST HATE THE OCEAN! BACK OFF AND GIVE OUR BABY SPACE! SHE DOESN'T DESERVE IT! NONE OF THEM DO! WHO RECOGNISED THE ACTORS WHO CAMEOED AS THE OTHER SIRENS? THEY WON'T HAVE MAJOR MAJOR ROLES BUT THEY'RE STILL IMPORTANT, AND THEY STILL HOLD A SPACE IN EACH OTHER'S HEARTS- THEY'RE FAMILY AFTER ALL! LET'S SEE WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT! AHHH! LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS MY LOVELIES!! AND YOUR IDEAS AND YOUR PAIN AND JUST EVERYTHING! I HOPE THE SIREN SCENE WAS PAINFUL IN A NOT MEAN WAY- AS IN, I HOPE YOU FELT AND UNDERSTOOD HER PAIN, HER HATE, HER DISGUST FOR HERSELF AND HOW HARD IT IS, WHY IT'S SO HARD FOR HER TO OPEN UP AND LET OTHERS IN! AND THERE'LL BE MORE ANGSTY STUFF TO COME SO STAY TUNED! STAY SAFE LOVELIES!)

QUESTION...A HABIT OF ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS OR SIBLINGS?

Mine is...my brothers, both older, have this habit of always asking for advice on clothes and fashion- for any time they want to head out or anything. They always make sure to get my opinion! For my friends...we have a habit of holding each other and swaying slightly as we hug, just standing there with our arms around each other!

Borahae! 💜💜💜

PurpleQueenie <3