Wolves have a saying.

A dark night does not make the Moon shine brighter, but moonlight can brighten up a dark night.

It belonged to my grandmother's favorite; she owns all the credit for making it engraved in my memory. I hadn't thought of the words for a long time until they recently came to my mind. Now I can't but wonder, what if the Moon comes out, but the night sinks into an even deeper darkness?

I roll restlessly onto my back and look up at the wooden ceiling above the bed. My gaze circles the knars, travels the dark brown curves around them, observes every little crevice disrupting the smoothness of the surface, that never-changing pattern, and I sigh. Sleep hasn't been coming easily to me the last few nights.

Giving up, I let out an annoyed groan and sit up. Elbow leaned on my bent knee, I rub my unrested eyes and run my fingers through my hair, letting them stay there. The heavy cloud in my chest becomes even heavier. Another familiar feeling chasing me every morning. And the Moon knows I am no runner.

I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face with cold water. And no matter how much I try, I can't ignore the figure moving in front of me.

I look straight into the mirror above the sink.

There she is, with her tired eyes and purple circles below them. Her light hair too dull, skin too pale, eyes judging. I want to punch that reflection and break the mirror into at least as many pieces as my soul has been shattered into.

I look down instead, leaving.

After I slip into some jeans and T-shirt, I head into the small living room of my family. My mother is just watering flowers on the windowsill, plucking their dry leaves. Hearing me coming, she smiles.

"I was just wondering if you were planning on getting up today." The moment she sees the ashen color of my face, though, her smiles fades. She puts the watering can on the table and rushes to me. "Do you feel alright, sweetpup? You look like a ghost."

I push her hand off my forehead. "I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well."

Mom drops her examination, at least the one with her hands, because her eyes are still studying me worriedly.

I turn away from her and grab my sweater I left on the couch. Although summer is almost knocking on our door, early mornings can still be a bit chilly here in the north, especially in the woods.

As I put the first arm through the sleeve, I glance at my mother. "Dad's gone?"

"Mhm," she answers through her lips pressed by her thoughtfulness. "He left before dawn."

I give a small aha nod.

"I'm gonna be in the dining hall," I inform her tonelessly and shut the door to our unit behind me before she has a chance to say another word.

The truth is, I feel like I am sleepwalking. Every step I take is as hollow as my thoughts. The whirlwind of questions stabbing my mind ferociously like a sharp needle triggered an autopilot button in my head and I welcomed it with my arms open. And numb.

When I reach the front door of our pack's residence, I am hit with a fresh forest smell only this part of the day can offer. The part I have always been so fond of. I let my eyelids fall down and pull in a deep breath. The scent of night rain, dewy greenery and wood with resin fills my lungs.

And nothing happens.

It's like it's all stuck up my nose and can't get any further into my heart. I can feel the forest morning, but the usual blissful feeling doesn't arrive.

Exhaling, I start down the beaten track lined with small shrubs towards the pack house. Its façade has been marked by time and nature, the light plaster already missing in some places, the big stone arches carrying several long cracks, the railing covered with moss. But despite all this, it's home.

Once inside I look around the dining hall and find Idony, Auden and Erith, another girl from our pack, still sitting at one of the tables. The she-wolves are immersed in a passionate discussion, so much that they don't even notice me zigzagging among the tables towards them.

Auden does. His eyes slide to me, and he instantly sends me a tender smile.

"Morning," he says into Erith's nasal voice, silencing her.

"Oh, hi," Idony says in surprise. When I only greet them by a wave of my hand while taking the free chair, she chuckles. "Bad night?"

I hum in confirmation and start rubbing my right spine.

Erith puts down the glass of juice she took a sip of and leans forward, continuing in what I suppose she believes is a quiet voice.

"Shalon met her the other day," she says, drawing back Idony's attention that keeps sliding to me from the corner of her eye, carrying quite the similar worry I saw on my mother this morning, "and the poor thing nearly cried."

Idony rolls her eyes. "Shalon is dramatizing it, believe me. I saw her before she left, and she was perfectly fine."

"Fine?" Erith squeaks in disbelief. "You would be perfectly fine?"

Ah, I think I'm getting a headache. And Erith is not helping the matter. On the other hand, some headache is a hundred times better than being a victim of the pack's fount of gossips. Still, to stop the incipient pain, my fingers push harder on the spine. Then they stop.

Auden's dark eyes are on me, their pensive look topping the whole analyzing expression on his face. It feels like a probe is burning its way right into my mind.

With the urge to do something to keep my thoughts safe, I reach for a piece of bacon on Idony's plate.

"Who is the poor thing?" I ask to join the discussion and put the bacon in my mouth. My stomach instantly heaves.

Idony rolls her eyes again on their way to me and in a tone indicating that she finds it absurd, she says, "Manon."

I stop chewing.

A vivid memory flashes before my eyes. A delicate hand of a beautiful caramel skin, slipping hesitantly into a firmly awaiting palm. The hand squeezes hers tightly, but it's me who feels the pressure of that grip. Just like I do right now.

I swallow the bacon that suddenly tastes like ash. "Aha," I get out.

Standing her ground, Erith shakes her head at Idony. "You don't believe me but I'm telling you, the girl has a damn bad luck. You'll see."

I frown at that. "Why?"

Erith looks at me like I'm a dumbass. "Because she's supposed to marry Tarquin?"

"And?" I meet all three pairs of eyes, all of them confused. "I mean, how is it different from marrying anyone else?"

Erith scoffs and leans on the table, as if the smaller distance between us could help me understand better. "It's Tarquin we're talking about. The Silver Meadow pack." She gives a partly hysterical chortle, amazed she has to be saying it. "These wolves are freaks! They don't even leave their territory anymore. Who knows what they're doing there. Some crazy shit, that's for sure."

I quite welcome Idony's groan.

Erith's gaze shoots to her. "Sorry, you've ever seen them anywhere around?"

"No," Idony admits, and Erith slaps her palm on the table like here you go. "But this is a little tail-fetched, don't you think? We know nothing about them."

"I wonder why..." Erith mumbles as she leans back in her chair and crosses her hands defiantly over chest.

Idony bravely ignores it. "I admit their Alpha might be a little..."

"Sadistic?" Erith offers with her eyebrows up. "Psychotic? Maniacal? Hot but a fucking lunatic?"

Her enumeration makes me pale.

"Unreadable," Idony tells her meaningfully with a reprimanding look.

"Oh yeah, I forgot, you're an Alpha's daughter. A born diplomat."

"What I wanted to say," Idony hardens her voice to silence her, "is that Carys is right. You can't lump every wolf together in one den."

"Do you mean their den? Because that's probably made of puppies' bones," Erith fires back.

"Okay, you know what? I'm giving up. Before you ruin my appetite completely." Fed up by Erith's attitude, Idony gets up. She turns to me. "I'm gonna grab a coffee. You want something?"

I shake my head. Erith's words are still resonating in my head.

"Wait," Erith finishes her juice in one gulp and rushes to her feet. "I'm going with you."

The look on Idony's face puts a small smile on mine. It disappears the moment I aim my attention back to the table.

I sigh in resignation. "What is it?"

I finally meet Auden's eyes. He's been watching me during the entire exchange at the table, never letting go of his pensiveness.

He glances between my tired eyes. "Seems like you've been having troubles sleeping lately."

For a moment, I hold his gaze. Then I try to shrug it off. "And? If I have?"

"Just wondering what the cause might be," he says in a feigned casualness and throws a paper napkin on the table.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Bad Moon phase, I guess."

"Uh-hm. You know what might help?"

"What?" I ask, cautious.

"Confiding what is going on in that bad Moon phase of yours."

I freeze. I wasn't so wrong about that probe into my mind.

I lower my gaze and clear my throat. "There's nothing going on."

He doesn't buy it, and I can't blame him. This isn't exactly Oscar-worthy acting. That was never my thing.

"Carys-"

"Why did you stay there?" I interrupt what is undoubtedly his next attempt at Sherlock Wolves and look up to him, frowning. "At the Harvest, I mean. You've never told us."

The question popped into my mind as I wandered back to that night and while it's true that I used it as my shield, I'm also very interested in the answer. The whole pack is.

It surprises him. For once this morning, he seems to be trying to go through his own head instead of mine. He is thinking carefully about his next words.

"I felt like it wouldn't be..." He circles with his hand as he looks for the right words.

Waiting, I rise my eyebrows at him.

He heaves a sigh at that. "Wise. To leave you there... like that."

My eyebrows quickly go back down. "Like what?"

He doesn't have to look long for that answer. He looks at me and without hesitation says, "Frightened to the core."

I'm left staring at him as my head tries to process it. As it does, I start shaking my head, horrified by what he's implying here. He did not... But his patient waiting shows that he did. A wave of anger rises through me.

"What..." I slap his arm over the table.

"Ouch! What was that for?" He laughs as he strokes his biceps.

"You can't just stay at the Harvest because I look a little scared!"

He chuckles and raises one finger. "First, I can, because I just did. And two," he raises second finger, "I said terrified. To the core."

I run my palm over my forehead. This is a bad dream.

I try to lick the distress from my lips. "This is not funny, Auden. You're an Alpha's son. There might be... political consequences."

And here goes his gentle chuckle again. "That's sweetly put."

"I'm serious, Auden! All the packs must think you want to get married by now. Your father must've been getting dozens of offers every day."

"So what?" He shrugs. "I don't see any Mrs. future Luna next to me."

I tilt my head to the side and give him a look. "And we all know about your desire to find her."

"Carys," Auden says a little more seriously, "as much as I appreciate your concern about me, you have no reason to worry. Trust me, I know how to handle my dad. What I don't know, though, is what happened that night that upset you so much."

He sinks into the blue waters of my eyes that are currently raging beneath the waves of truth. He did it for me. He stayed there for me. It's all that's on my mind as I drop my gaze and dejectedly shake my head.

Auden let's out a long sigh. "Alright," he mumbles and with hands on his tights, he thinks for a moment. "I'm not going to push it, Car. But I want you to know that when you're ready to talk about it, I'm here. Whatever's going on has a solution, okay?"

I smile sadly at that, that familiar myth in all its atrocious glory.

Auden gets up but before leaving, he leans over the table and puts a green apple in front of me, waiting for my eyes to meet his. "At least do me a favor and eat something."

His hand leaves the apple, and he heads out of the dining hall.

And so, after a few long days of my head swirling with questions, my mind gets another dose to contend with.

The air is whistling around my muzzle, tickling my ears of beige color as my paws bounce off the soft forest floor. With each leap, I leave more behind. Trees, rocks, roots. The only thing I'm not fast enough to outrun is my own mind.

I slow down and then come to a stop completely, taking the last few steps to a dark spruce near our camp. Eyes reflexively closed, I shift.

I swiftly put on my clothes I left under the tree and sit on a stump next to it. Just as I am tying my second worn-out sneaker, a light brown wolf with blue-green eyes emerges from behind the spruce.

As Idony transforms, the heavy breathing changes to human gasping for air. "You're racing the wind today or what's gotten into your paws?"

I put the bent leg down from the stump and get up. "I needed a good run."

Still breathless, she huffs. "Hope you got it. I'm done moving. And I don't mean today, but for at least a week."

A small chuckle escapes me, drawing Idony's widened eyes to me.

"Oh my, was that a laugh? I almost thought you'd forgotten it."

Smiling back, I shake my head at her mocking.

I would never insult her by wondering if she noticed something's been wrong with me. I can see that she's aware. Luckily for me, her nature grants me space with no intrusive questions about something I obviously don't feel like sharing. Something I can't say about her brother. With Idony, it's just little jabs and comments here and there. And they are well deserved.

I nudge my head to the camp. "Come on, I'm thirsty like a dog."

"I wonder why," she remarks sulkily as she slips in her ballet flats.

We head through the last rays of sunlight cutting through the forest, the only sound around us the branches snapping beneath our feet and chirping birds mingling with the deep tones of the first owls. And Idony.

"Did you know about the Cypress Shore's proposal?" she asks three steps in our path. She's shocked by what she accidentally overheard today, and I can't blame her.

"Nope," I deadpan, keeping my gaze straight ahead.

"I can't believe they offered their Alpha's daughter to us! And that Auden rejected her," she snorts out. "I mean, I know he's not exactly into marriage, but Thame? That girl is stunning! Didn't he tell you something?"

"No," I repeat and press my lips together.

No, he did not tell me anything about turning down a more than generous offer to mate with the famed Cypress Shore beauty. The one whose father is the Alpha of one of the oldest wolf families in the Northwest. That Auden most definitely did not mention.

Idony shakes with her head. "Unbelievable. Any wolf would kill for having a shot with this girl. And having a blood connection with the Cypress Shores? Dear Moon, dad must've had a stroke when Auden reject-" she stops mid-word as she staggers forward.

The kid that bumped into her from behind, little Eliah, looks up in surprise. Not uttering a word, he laughs and is off again, running towards the camp. And he's not alone. A bunch of other kids follows, all giggling with excited fuss.

"Hey! How about some manners, you little prairie dogs!" Idony shouts after them, but the kids are lost in whatever is happening in their own world. She watches their backs in amazement. "Did you see that?!"

"Yeah... Did we forget something? Because there are others," I say, confounded, as I notice another group of our children standing a little behind. These ones, however, are hiding behind the trees, casting bewildered glances towards the camp.

I frown. "They look... scared."

"And they have a good reason..."

I feel it before the quite words leave Idony's mouth. The sharp pieces of my shattered soul awaken as I begin to turn and the moment my eyes settle on him, they pierce my heart ruthlessly like fired arrows.

His jaw looks even more sharply cut from here, and the dark stubble that runs down the sides of his face into his thick dark brown hair accentuates the lightness of his irises framed by long lashes. His dark pink lips move with a seriousness that envelops his entire conversation with our Alpha Calder, Auden and my father.

I break into a cold sweat.

"Moonshit," I breath out strangled.

"What?" Idony bounces between the group and me with her gaze. "You know what's going on?"

I hope I don't.

Hearing me, Tarquin snaps his eyes to mines. His face is blank, and if it weren't for his clenching his jaw ever so slightly, I'd think he doesn't even see me through this well-controlled iron mask of his.

It pains me when he looks away again, unfazed, listening to whatever my father has to say to him.

My father.

There's not a chance....

I'm far behind the pale stage at this point. Feeling my heart sinking, I start taking small steps back.

There's NOT a chance.

Tarquin doesn't miss it. Maybe because his gaze keeps sliding to me every other second. His ears still in the conversation, he narrows his eyes at me in visible bemusement. And displeasure.

I nearly jump when Idony snatches my arm.

"Where are you going?!" she whispers at me like I'm crazy.

I shake my head. "We... we shouldn't be here."

"Are you kidding me?! They're talking about another attack!"

"Don, you really shouldn't be eaves-" I stop myself. "Whait, what?"

My eyes snap to the group. I can't make out a single word through the pounding in my ears, but I can see it now. I can smell the heaviness in the air.

Tarquin suddenly raises his hand towards the three men. They exchange silent looks and while my father looks to the ground, defeated, Auden gives a heavy-hearted nod to his father. The Alphas shake their hands.

Tarquin's eyes pass over me as he slowly turns away. He looks me up and down and his jaw works in response. It's over in two seconds and I'm watching him heading back into the woods.

That's when I notice another young man leaning leisurely on a nearby tree with his back, hands in the pockets of his jeans. His eyes are fixed on me with great interest, watching me like I'm a fox that's grown a bear's head. He sends me a cordial smile before he bounces off the tree and follows Tarquin, both disappearing among the trees.

Idony jerks with my hand again. "Come!"

I give one more check to the empty forest place, my mind swaying with confusion, before I find myself going in her track. Just in time to catch Alpha Calder giving a bitter look to his son, after which he angrily shuts the door to the packhouse behind him.

Idony looks from where her father disappeared to her brother. "What is going on? There was another attack?"

Auden sounds tired as he sighs. "Idony, what I told you about eavesdropping?"

"I've got a wolf ears, hunt me for that."

I slowly come to them, watching Auden with my dad warily. I have a question of my own.

"What was he doing here?" I ask cautiously.

Auden silently holds my gaze and takes a deep breath. "There was another attack," he confirms.

"That's the third one in what, like two months?" Idony says, amazed.

"Who?" I ask and glance between Auden and my father. His bright blue eyes, the ones the nature has endowed me with as well, sparkle with sadness.

Auden's grief is clear on his face as he answers, "The Cone Trail pack this time. The loss of life is... dire."

"How... dire?" I dare to voice.

Auden remains silent.

"How many?" I push, looking between the two men.

Auden lowers his gaze. "Thirty-seven."

"Thirty-seven dead?!" Idony squeaks in dismay.

Auden shakes with his head. " Thirty-seven alive."

I think my heart stopped for a moment. I stay staring at him in horror.

Thirty-seven. Out of seventy something pack.

"That... No... That can't be right," Idony refuses to believe it, practically panting.

"So what did he want here?" I ask again, far from ready to say his name out loud. A bad, bad feeling creeps into the corner of my mind. When Auden presses his lips in a thin line and seems reluctant to answer, I know my feeling was right.

"He's calling in the Deal," he admits evasively.

"Wait, the Deal?" Idony can't believe her ears.

Auden's nod is our answer.

"What does that mean?" I ask, and I already know the answer won't be easy to stomach.

Auden looks at my father. Dad sighs and his heaviness holding cordial blue eyes meet mines. "That in the morning, we are leaving for the Silver Meadow."