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Chapter 77: Fix me

            Jimin stepped into the building with Jungkook holding his hand. He knew by now, he won't hear Jungkook's sweet voice to comfort him if he feels hesitant. The gang leader now communicated in sign language or through text to protect his true identity. Of course, everyone in Busan knew the Chief's sidekick was mute, so Jungkook carried on with that to ensure everyone that he was innocent when the boy really wasn't.

          Jungkook could feel Jimin's grip growing tighter and tighter around his hand as he walked forward and looked around the empty waiting lobby. It seemed like this therapist didn't have much patients here in Busan due to how scary these streets were. "Should I call him?" Jimin asked as he looked at Jungkook, but the prince just shrugged so silently. "You're really good at that." Laughed the older as he stepped up to the front desk and reached over to the small bell to ring it and look for the therapist. "Hello?!" Jimin called out as Jungkook felt the older loosen his grip around the younger's hand. "DR. KIM TAE-"

          "Hi!~" Shouted a playful voice from down the hall as the head of the therapist poked out and made such a big smile over his smooth face. The therapist had dark brown hair matching with his huge dark brown eyes, full eyebrows and a perfectly shaped nose that carried the nose bridge of the circular glasses he still pushed up. The therapist adjusted the white coat over his beige colored plaid vest and black slacks to go along his classic black shoes. He carried a brown clipboard as he walked up to Jimin and held out his hand to shake. "Sorry, I was just having breakfast." Laughed the man so happily as Jungkook tilted his head. Realizing that this man was very outgoing. Quite positive and qualifying for this job.

             "That's alright. We'll wait out here until you're done." Jimin spoke while Jungkook stood there and held back from speaking like always.

             "No! A busy Chief like you should be tended to instantly. We can't afford you missing out on protecting us along with the police officers. You do good. So,  follow me and we can start!" Insisted the man as he walked to his office and just when Jimin started to walk, he felt Jungkook stop walking and slowly let go of his hand. Causing Jimin to stop walking too.

             "Jungkook...? Won't you come with me?" Jimin asked as Jungkook shook his head and rose his hands to sign to the man.

'You should be able to tell the therapist about things you hide within. Not being influenced on something you need to say to please me. I want you to be honest.' Jungkook signed as Taehyung stopped and watched over the two while he just stood there silently.

           "Promise me you won't leave?" Jimin asked as Jungkook smiled and nodded his head. The boy then extended his index finger upwards into a point as he rose it over his lips and then brought his hand out to an open hand downwards onto his left closed fist; Signing the word, 'Promise.'

           Taehyung gazed at the two and even he could see such a strong connection between the two; inseparable and adorable even. Jimin was the one who needed the help and Taehyung was able to find out that the Chief was a little too clingy. "Chief Park?" Taehyung asked. Wanting to get the man into the office so they could begin. However, Jimin was still staring at Jungkook.

          "Stay right by this door and do NOT move." Jimin demanded as Jungkook flinched and nodded his head so quickly before pressing his body against the wall to show he won't move at all. "Good." Jimin said into a smile and patted the boy's shoulder as he walked into the office and left Jungkook outside by himself.

         Just when Jimin stepped in, he closed the door and looked around the Therapists’ office to see just a long red leather couch, white office table with a desktop over it, books off of psychology and books on facing fears or even learning to love yourself. Just when Jimin glanced at a book shelf, he noticed music albums in white, black and a holographic album. Jimin approached the holographic album and tilted his head to read the side of it. "Love yourself: answe-"

          "Oh! Don't look at those! Please sit. We don't want to waste your free hour on your first day!" Taehyung added as he turned Jimin around to face the long couch and sit him down. "Let's get started! I haven't had a patient here in so long. These streets really are dangerous, Chief." Commented the man as Jimin nodded his head and let out a sigh. Taehyung also pinpointed that Jimin wasn't willing to assure that he would take care of it and the therapist did believe it was off how this Chief wasn't at work along with his Detective.

         "I know..." Jimin replied as Taehyung cleared his throat and grabbed a clipboard with his paper for notes on Jimin. The man wrote Jimin's name above the page as he sat down on the one-seat leather chair to cross his right leg over his left and formed a bright smile once he pushed up his glasses.

            "So, tell me what's on your mind, Cheif? How are you lately and how are you feeling? Something's on your mind?" Taehyung asked as he looked up and started a timer set for two hours on the first day before gazing at Jimin. "Oh, you can lay down!"

           Jimin complied with the orders and laid back to lock his gaze at the ceiling before letting out a sigh. Jungkook only stayed behind to avoid having Jimin hide more things with his lover there. Jungkook just wanted the man to be free to speak his mind. "Lately... I feel like I've been losing myself..." Jimin answered as Taehyung tilted his head and listened further. "I don't want to hide certain things from the one I love... But eventually, I find myself doing just that..." Jimin whispered as Taehyung nodded his head after.

           "What made you think you are losing yourself? When did this all begin? Please feel free to tell me." Taehyung continued as he kept looking at the Cheif.

            "I feel... I feel like I started losing myself once I've found love in the one I'm with. Doctor, love is supposed to show the one you have, the love you have to offer from yourself to the other. But to me, it felt the complete opposite."

            "Enlighten me on this." Taehyung continued as Jimin cleared his throat.

           "Please don't tell Jungkook."

           "My lips are sealed. Besides, the door is soundproof to keep all secrets in. No worries!" Concluded the younger therapist as Jimin nodded his head before thinking on what to add on.

           "I'm in a relationship with Jungkook and I feel like he fears me... I don't feel like I give him enough love. He can't tell when it's enough since he's been unloved for most of his life. I just feel like I started to lose myself from the start of this relationship. I relied on someone who didn't know about love to give me it in return. That caused us to separate. I thought I needed to protect him but I ended up hurting him.... Only then I couldn't keep away and ended up confusing him."

           "So is this just between the two of you?" Taehyung wondered as Jimin only sighed and shook his head.

           "Let me get to what I was saying... Ah, then my dispatcher was injured, then I lost my best officer recently. This only rose my paranoia and at that moment. I completely lost myself. Or so my boyfriend claims. I feel perfectly fine." Jimin continued as the therapist only shook his head.

             "Jungkook claims that you lost it... Did you ask him why?"

             "I didn't ask...I could tell. The way he looks at me, the way he would step back when I'm panicking and would push himself to intervene or even when he would flinch when I catch him stepping out of the same room as him. Ordering him to stay..."

             "Chief, I believe you've been hurt before... Right? You've grown clingy, a bit scary towards Jungkook... Maybe trying your best to show him all the love you can?"

            "I've been hurt too many times to even pinpoint my reactions to it. I'm so numb to it, I can't tell when I'm losing it.. I could only see it when I look at Jungkook when I've done the damage. I could even tell when he mentioned I needed help and made sure he found a good therapist!" Only then, Jimin began to vent out his real issues and break down into tears he held. "He's somewhat afraid of me... He's scared I might grow crazy and he'll have to run away from me! Love isn't something to fear, Dr. Kim. But I could see it after I panic! I told him love could heal this... But love could only take us so far."

            "You know what you need to do? You need to talk this one out with Jungkook. Only then you'll know what he really feels. This seems like something you've assumed... It's not good to jump into conclusions."

             "But... I could feel like he has that fear of me... He claimed he'll leave soon to go back to Seoul." Jimin lied as Taehyung nodded his head. "He's leaving for work and heading off and leaving me. I-I don't think I could live if he leaves me! He knows I have this paranoia of fearing every little thing could pose as a threat towards me..." Jimin claimed as Taehyung sat up to respond.

            "There are a few things you could get use to before he leaves. You could work a long distance relationship and video chat with him every night, you could have a moment with him before he leaves, a date or so? Or have him leave the room time to time to see how long you could manage. Practice it." Taehyung said as Jimin let out a sigh and looked out to a window off the side. "Getting like this isn't uncommon... You've lost one of your officers. How close were they?"

              "Officer Sehiro was very close... Once he died, I didn't know what to do. I kept thinking he was alive and this also made Jungkook worry. I've must've come out mental towards Jungkook. I threw panic attacks and cried every time. I drank alcohol and scared Jungkook by walking up to him and hugging him close when I was suffering. It seemed so calming to me, but then... It came off so wrong to my prince.." Jimin continued and looked at the therapist. "Hearing myself say these things make me feel relieved or even scared I put Jungkook through this..."

              "You're just scared of losing him. That's what it seems to be. He's the only one you have now and you just don't want to lose him. You must've picked this up already, hm? If you know you have to let him go and can't work a long distance relationship... Then, maybe he wasn't yours to keep from the start. Lovers grow stronger together... Not apart." Taehyung said as he cleared his throat. "It all comes down if you're willing to risk your all for the one you love, or do what the world wants you to do and stay here. If you choose to let him go, you could promise to see him again, or you could risk your all and follow him through. Knowing you leave everyone's trust behind?"

              "T-Tell me what to do because I don't know what I'm doing..." Jimin cried softly as he sat up and cupped his face. "I don't want to lose myself once I lose my Jungkook..."

              "If he stays with you, then he's yours. If he leaves you, then he's not. Love is when both decide to give it their all and consent comes in too. If he chooses to leave, you can't hold him against his will to stay. He'll only fear you more. Even if it breaks your heart and his, you can't hold him down and spoil him with the love you failed to give him before, expecting he'll stay." Taehyung advised Jimin as the older laid there.

          Jimin understood now that he should learn to accept Jungkook's choice and not try to make Jungkook stay by showing the love he's never shown him before. Only now, Jimin won't hold back and give Jungkook the love he deserves; not to make him stay, but to show the boy that he'd always love his prince no mater how far he travels.

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