"She's gone. Been gone for months."

Titi Genea was explaining Mama's death to relatives for the thirtieth time. No one wanted to believe she was gone at forty-five years old.

Mama's departure had triggered so many changes, chief among them moving back to Puerto Rico. Without Mama's income, Titi Genea had been forced to sell the New York apartment and move in with her other sister, Thea, who lived in San Juan.

Though she had wanted to weep and scream about moving, Alondra tapered down most of her anxiety about the move. She left the theatrics to Natalia, who didn't mind at all sharing her exaggerated feelings with near temper tantrums. Titi had to "set her right" several times. That's what Titi called the beatings: "setting it right." She didn't hit very hard, not like Papi had, or even Mama. All the same, Alondra kept to herself, silently mourning the loss of her home in New York.

The family rode a commercial airplane to get to Puerto Rico. It was Alondra's first time on a plane, a fact she confided to Natalia and then regretted. Her younger sister kept repeating how much of a baby Alondra was to be afraid.

"I'm not afraid," Alondra insisted.

Yet, she was.

Luto sat next to her during the flight, sharing jokes and keeping her mind occupied. He even let her squeeze his hand whenever the plane bounced or dipped unexpectedly. "Turbulence" is what he called it, but the jerking movements of the plane felt like the end of the world to Alondra.

Once they touched down in Puerto Rico, she was relieved to be out of the air. Then, as she hustled through the new terminal after Titi, the rows of Spanish advertisements reminded her how different this place was from home. Alondra could only read some words in Spanish. She tried deciphering a coffee ad, and couldn't, and it occurred to her, she now had to pass her senior year of high school, and learn how to write in a semi-new language.

At this inner-revelation, her anxieties further flared, but she hoped it didn't show.

Waiting at the baggage claim carousel, she saw a young couple embrace and share a deep, long kiss.

Guillermo.

She would never see her boyfriend again. He had promised he would write, and she had promised, too, but silently, they both knew the truth. It was over.

Over like everything about her life was over.

It wasn't so bad, though.

I still have Luto.

Then, she witnessed a girl of about five rush into the waiting arms of her mother. The woman scooped the child up, raining kisses on her small head.

The woman looked a lot like Carmen, or how Carmen had looked years ago, before the grind of the factory job and sickness had taken the light out of her. Alondra's stoicism crumbled, and she gave into slow tears streaming down her face while an array of stranger's bags shuffled by on the conveyer.

~*~

Daily tasks became exhaustive experiences.

For instance, shopping at the grocery store. This was different for a few reasons. Usually, Natalia went to the market. Camila had once been in charge of this, but after she had messed up years ago, she had been relieved of the responsibility. Now, it fell to Alondra because Natalia had too many classes. Alondra had complained to Titi that she had a lot of schoolwork as well, but as the oldest girl, it was her job, Titi explained.

Grocery shopping was akin to torture.

A variety of foods was lacking, and even if they carried a certain brand or item, the store ran out too quickly. Alondra learned to buy substitutions, or they went without. The checkout lines often snaked to the back of the store. Something was always going wrong with the cash registers. At times, the lights in the stores flickered.

At home, they experienced the occasional power outage, and not for lack of payment. The few friends she made in class assured her this was normal. Something with the power grid.

Alondra found herself feeling at home once she started school.

Outside of classes, everyone was incredibly friendly. When they learned she was from New York, Islanders who had never been wanted to talk to her, ask her what it was like. She joined several clubs, like drama, journalism, and yearbook.

Writing in Spanish was hard, but not impossible. Titi helped her when she had time, which wasn't much. In order to help pay rent at their duplex, Titi started working at a nearby clothing store as a seamstress. She forced Luto to get a job as a bike messenger. He initially protested, saying he'd drive a cab or nothing. Then, Genea threatened to throw his ass onto the street, and he relented, like always.

He's a good guy. He just tries to hide it, like I hide myself, Alondra decided.

Luto even helped her with homework. Being older, he did know how to write in Spanish. Plus, Titi Genea had taken the time to teach him when he was little, whereas Mama had always been too busy working to teach writing skills.

In between her increasingly busy schedule, Alondra payed attention to Camila. It was hard not to. For the first time ever, they were at the same school. Camila had never attended school, and seemed to be doing better than her two sisters, at least academically. Socially, she was as awkward and isolated as ever. She sat in the front row, where no one else wanted to be. Everyone knew the front row was for teacher's pets and losers. Yet, sit in the front Camila did. She wasn't everyone, Alondra knew. She didn't know any better. Though, classmates didn't comment or openly care about her condition. Some of them even spoke to her when they found out she could read lips. Sometimes Camila indulged them, but other times, she stared through them. Alondra knew the feeling well.

Because of how shy Camila was, Alondra was surprised to see her sister hanging out with boys after school. At first, it was one boy. He had black, greasy hair, and his clothes looked too big for him. Then, it was two boys. Then, three boys. They seemed pleasant enough, chatting slowly so that Camila followed their words. To Alondra, they were a bit too pleasant.

She was no dummy. Before the move, Guillermo convinced Alondra to try third base. Boys were always about touching and kissing. These boys, with their shining eyes, looked no different than over-eager Guillermo.

Alondra trusted Luto, and he had more spare time than she did. So, she tasked Luto to follow Camila around after school. He was to investigate and report back.

It's just to keep her safe, Alondra thought, feeling like a very responsible older sister.

~*~