February 10th, 1970

Dear Natalia,

I'm going to call you and tell you all this, but I have to write it down first. It's too much.

By now, you have to know that the transfer request failed. It was a great idea, and a way to save Camila. In the end, the San Juan hospital would not take her. I'm not sure why, but I fear Pilsner had something to do with it.

He should have done everything he could to approve it. He would still be alive if he had.

Yesterday, there was a supposed gas leak at the hospital. That's what I was told. Pilsner and that orderly died in the men's bathroom. Another 10 or so men died in the break room.

Camila is now in a coma. The other doctors had zero answer as to why. Her new condition started yesterday, and only I could see a vague connection: Our sister took care of those horrible men. But I think it was too much for her.

I can understand why she would choose Pilsner, and the orderly. I don't understand why those other people had to die. Maybe they were all hurting her. Even still...so many deaths. I'm sad for them, but not as sad as I am for Camila.

I brought Tari in to see her. Well, I also brought her because I hoped she would know something, and I was right.

She connected with whatever is left of Camila's brain. She says that there's barely anything of our sister in there.

Maybe Camila would've been better off with the damn lobotomy. That way, she could've somewhat enjoyed the money she's earned. That man from the gallery, Jameson, bought all her paintings, and is setting up a show next month. I haven't yet told him about what happened to Camila, but he was already willing to host the show on her behalf.

Jameson assured me her work is "transformative," and she might be the next big thing in the art world. He seems like he could be full of it, but I don't know much about art. He could be right. Camila's work definitely stands out, I can say that.

Through all this, Luto would be laughing his ass off. Puto.

Mama and Genea would be broken. I'm glad they're already gone so they don't have to see the awful mess I've made of our lives.

Can you come home for a bit? The girls cry at night, and sometimes, I want to, but I just...can't.

The only good thing lately is Tari. She says she met a friend named Pedro. Didn't Camila have a friend named Pedro when we were little? Can't remember.

I think about those times a lot. We were happy, and mom worked hard to keep us safe. Then, Genea did the same.

Camila won't leave my mind, as I'm climbing into bed, or as I'm waking to a darkened room. Even if she comes back, will she be okay? There are some things that are so terrible, they twist you until you can't be who were before. Life twisted Camila too far.

Me too, maybe.

I picture Pilsner and the orderly in the bathroom, chatting, washing their hands. Then I picture them sputtering, clutching their necks, eyes bulging in disbelief as they slowly sink to the floor and run out of breathable air.

God help me, but this scene helps me get back to sleep.

I miss Camila. I want her to come back.

Do you think she'll ever come back?

Your sister,

-Alondra Sanoguet