Epilogue Soundtrack: Hold You In My Arms by Ray LaMontagne

*

12 months later:

I can hardly hear the clinking of Mei's glass over the conversations around me. I was already dreading sitting at the high table, raised above everyone else, but I forgot that they're also long and narrow. My best friend is a few people away but I have to crane my neck to look at her.

Nas's hand traces circles on my shoulder. 'Hey,' he shouts, 'Quiet!'

The conversations trickle away. Mei snorts. 'Thanks, Nas.' There's a smattering of applause. She looks around the crowded hall, full of her friends and family, all flushed and warm with the heat of the room and the meal we've just eaten.

'Well,' she continues, 'I won't be long. I hate long speeches. I just wanted to thank you all for trekking out to South London-' This is greeted with affectionate boos. '-and for cleaning yourselves up so nicely, which I know wasn't easy for everyone. We rarely get to have you all in one room, and it means so much to Gabriel and me that we're celebrating our happiest moment with the people who make us happiest.' Applause again. 'And of course, I have to thank my new husband, Gabriel, for keeping me calm through the ordeals of planning a wedding.'

Mei is always beautiful, of course, but in her simple silk wedding dress and the flowers pinned in her hair, she's the most radiant thing I've ever seen. I start tearing up again and Nas gently kisses my forehead. He's dealt with a lot of happy crying through the wedding, and the rehearsal, and the bachelorette, and actually the whole process of my best friend getting married. He hasn't rolled his eyes a single time.

Mei says, 'Gabriel and I circled each other for years before we finally cracked and admitted that we were in love. Most of you saw it coming, but I'm stubborn. When I moved in with him, we insisted it was just as friends. He told me, "Stay as long as you want." And I never left. Gabriel, I can't wait to stay for the rest of our lives.'

Now I'm really bawling and Nas offers me his napkin, which has some crumbs on it but is a nice gesture, nonetheless. We all toast the happy couple and soon the meal is over and the dancing begins.

Nas pulls me to the dance floor, like he does some evenings in our flat, just us, spinning slowly and laughing. Tonight, I'm wearing the red dress from the gala at his request. But this time, he runs his hands down my back, pulling me in by my straps, and as I look into his eyes I wonder how I didn't see him before.

'You look beautiful,' he murmurs. After all this time, I still shiver when he uses that voice.

'Not bad yourself,' I reply, but the crack in my voice gives me away. He pulls me closer.

I can feel his heartbeat, slow and sure, through his shirt. He usually hates big events like this, but, aside from it being my best friend's wedding, he's in a good mood. He was just offered a Creative Director role at a small animation studio and he spent most of the ceremony doodling character art on the back of the programme. I folded it to save. I know he'll want to remember this moment.

'You're looking particularly smug,' I tell him, because even though we're in love, we're not sentimental.

He replies, spinning me, 'I've got the job, got the girl. I'm basically perfect.'

'You're definitely not perfect.'

'That's not what you said last night.'

'Ew,' Mei interrupts, appearing from behind us. 'Disgusting. There are children here.'

I look around the room. 'No there aren't.'

She touches her stomach. 'Well, not for a few more months.'

'Oh my God!' Several people turn to look and I drop my voice. 'This is how you're telling me?' I pull her in for a hug.

'I didn't want you to be gross and weird about it.' She pulls back to look at me. 'See? You're about to cry and she's not even born yet.'

'You're having a girl?'

'I mean, hopefully. Boys are so icky.' She glances over. 'Hi, Nas.'

'Hi, Mei. Congratulations.'

'Thanks. Try not to shag on the dance floor, please. Save it for the hotel.' With a final hug, she leaves to greet her other guests.

He pulls me back in to dance. 'Sorry,' he says, 'no shagging. Bride's orders.'

'I think she said the hotel was fine.'

'Shall we head out?' He's only half kidding.

'One more song.'

'It's a nice wedding.'

'It's a perfect wedding.'

'Would you want one like this?'

I look at him intently. His eyes are glinting with mischief. 'Is this how you're proposing?' I ask.

'Is that a yes?'

'No. You'll have to ask properly.'

'Right now?'

'Not at a wedding. Plan it properly.'

He smiles that defeated smile, my careful, cautious man, and I realise that he's already planned something. I guess he still likes to hedge his bets.

I get it. I'm cautious, too. But he'll realise, soon enough, that I'm all in.