"I am sorry."

------●●°●●------

Kylie

Have you ever felt like just shutting down and do nothing? That's all I am feeling right now. How I wish there were an on-and-off switch on humans. We can just move it around on our will. Nice, huh?

I sighed playing with the food on my plate and listening to Kai going on and on about his basketball. Doesn't he ever get tired of talking nonstop? I sighed yet again staring at my plate in distaste. My insides burning with hunger yet the mere sight of it makes me feel nauseous.

I shoved a spoonful of my food in my mouth and forced it down my throat. I don't care even if I end up puking it all out later but right now my inside is burning with hunger. Will someone tell me what's wrong with me?

"Our basketball team won the match today. They are throwing a party tomorrow to celebrate." Kai happily added while Mom listened to him smiling softly. Mom is trying to act natural but her face gave her out. She looks so tired. Something happened today. The airhead I call my brother noticed it too and asked me what was wrong with her.

"Kylie." Mom called out for me, her voice calm. Why do I feel like it's the calm before the storm? I looked at Kai alarmed while he shrugged. I swear to God I will kill him if the mama's boy has ratted out anything. Shallowing the food in my mouth I look at Mom giving her my full attention.

" I got a call from your art school today. " she paused looking at me expectantly. Her eyes told it all that I was in big trouble while I remained completely confused. I have not done anything. I submitted the painting on time, I haven't gotten in any trouble there.

"I am sorry." I apologized lowering my head. I don't know what I am apologizing for, but that seems to be the only thing that I can do right now.

"Your sorry is not what I am waiting for here, Kylie. When will you start correcting yourself? Look at your brother he never came back with poor grades like you, we never stopped you two from chasing your passion while most other parents don't even allow it in the first place. All we ask for is your dedication to your work. Is it too much to ask?" Mom demanded her voice trembling, while Kai got up from his seat to calm her down. I kept my gaze on my lap not daring to meet her eyes. I purse my lips almost almost counselling the guilty half-smile. Bad timing, possibly the worst timing to laugh. But, here I am. I hate my mind sometimes.

I didn't raise my head either when Kai took her to her room. Finally, I got the courage to raise my head when their footsteps faded. Chuckling and feeling my eyes sting at the same time got to be the worst inner turmoil one can be in.

I swear there is something awfully wrong with the gland in my eyes those days. They can produce a few buckets of tears for no reason and it's annoying.

Brushing off the stinging feeling I get up proceeding to gather all the dishes. She wasn't wrong. I should have worked harder, I had to.

🍁

The next day

Kylie copied the notes in her notebook from her tablet fixing her glasses on the bridge of her nose. Just one more page then she was done with her assignments. After that, she can finally start her writing. It's been a while since she last worked on her fiction. Do you know the most annoying faze as a writer? It's when you have the bits and scraps of a story sorted in your head but you can't form it into words. Every time you hold the pen they all turn blank and so does the paper. Still, she is willing to give it a try and at least write down something in her draft paper. If not for the sake of finishing the story then for the sake of her sanity and she isn't someone who settles for a loss after all.

Just when she wrote the end of the assignment a wild poor excuse of a human being made his entry in her room who had yet to learn the basics of human civilization. Kylie doesn't even need to turn around to know who it is because Kai is the only member of the house who enters her room without knocking and she has always been brutally honest regarding her dislike of it.

Kai fake coughed trying to grab her attention. He frowned when she kept writing in her notebook shaking her head as if she heard nothing.

"Can't you see I am trying to say something?"

"Can't you see that I am ignoring you?"Kai rolled his eyes at her blunt reply, here he was rooting for a little respect as a loving- doting- kind brother. But respect is hard-earned, almost a foreign aspect when it involves his sister.
"You are annoying you know that right?" Kai huffs plopping on the bean bag near the window. The further away from her the better.

You can never trust her as long as she has something in her hands reach and right now she has many things near her that she can throw at him. He can't blame her though. It must be genetics. Their father has the same habit.

"I know," Kylie mumbled whiling her chair to face Kai. It's pointless to argue with him. He is a five-year-old shoved in a nineteen-year-old body. Age-wise Kylie is the youngest member of this family but judging their maturity she can't say the same thing. Kylie rubbed her right hand on her loose pants trying to wipe off the ink stain scattered all over her palm. She has made quite a mass she thinks to herself scrunching her nose.

She walks over to the other side near her nightstand, collecting a handful of tissues from the tissue box. "What do you need now?" She questions sluggishly, settling on the bed lazily. Unlike her usual cross-legged position.

"Can't a brother check on his baby sister?"

"Not when it's you" He throws her an accusing look of disappointment, she has been awfully annoying this day. Well, she always is. But, that's okay, he can keep it up, he would prefer her obnoxiously loud rather than distant.

"It's..." Kylie switched off her phone to check the time. "It's 9 am, Kai. My sweet darling brother, you don't even attend a funeral without getting something back." Kylie offers him an extra sweet smile, one filled with mirth more than warmth. For a brief moment, Kai thought he saw two red horns glowing at the top of her head.

Kylie messages her sore nape yawning, writing for so long has done a number on her. She can barely lift her head now. These days definitely don't mark as her best, she just... just doesn't feel like doing anything at all.

The feeling of dread and void draining her of energy or the will to do anything. It's just blank, one blank gigantic paper, she has the tools, her brushes, and colours all set, even the flame of will burning on low capacity, low but present yet she can't do anything. But ideas? Dandy.

"We, I mean one of my basketball teammates is throwing a celebration party today. Wanna join us?" Kai asked his sister his ocean-blue eyes looking at her hopefully. He clasped his hands together resting them on his knee. Kylie stares at him prompting what to do as she fiddles with her butterfly charm ring that sits atop her middle finger proudly.

" Nah, don't feel like it." She shakes her head waving it off, her tone childish. She lays on the bed curling up to herself, the thought of accompanying is tempting. She has tagged along with him many times before much to his dislike.
She would have jumped on the invitation any day.... but just not today. She just feels like closing her eyes and doing nothing.

"Common it's on the Williams place, you know they through the best parties. Plus isn't the blonde - Miles's sister your friend?"

"No!" Kylie pulses a poker face the one someone makes trying to rid an insect of their back. She brings her light pink plushie to herself, hiding her face in its fur. The small puppy plushie had been with her for a long time, but she still kept it since it matched the white and dark blue of her place.

Kai pokes her on the head, trying to grab her attention. Yet she remains still, instead of hammering in his head as re-action as she would.

"You know the parliament has been pretty heated these days, from a reliable source it's been predicted that a civil war might break out any time. The civilians are requested to move to a safer place." Kai commentaries fixing his imaginary glass trying to get a better look at the invisible tablet in his hand. Once done he looks at her expectedly from above his current nonexistent glasses.

"I'll keep my door locked." She mumbles in a small but obvious tone.

"You'll still hare."

" nothing we haven't heard already."

"Isn't a fun night out better than, saving unwanted memories? You know hearing your parent's colourful words, and unwanted information is not the best of memories. "

Kylie pursed her lips contemplating for a while. He does have a point, it's convincing. She would rather be around him right now."Fine, I will go with you. Give me five minutes I will be downstairs." Kai grins, showing her a delighted thumbs up as he stands up to his full height.

Kai gingerly proceed to go patting his sister's head who has seat up now."women, they say five minutes then take five hours."Kai mumbled to himself but it was enough audible for Kylie to hear.

"I am not your snobby girlfriend," Kylie bellowed loudly for her brother to hear from outside. "She is not snobby. " Kai retorted back from the outside equally loudly.

Not five minutes, but fifteen minutes later Kylie came down all dressed up in her black sleeveless dress that reached her mid-thigh. She swiped her blonde hair to the side coming down the stairs.
"You are late," Kai stated accusingly the moment she reached the bottom of the stairs. Surprisingly he has chosen black as well, casually dressed in a pair of dark shirts and dark jeans.

"Fashionably late." She brushes him off, chin tilted unbothered. Women gotta do what she does. How do men know about the struggle of pulling decent make-up?

"How do I look?" Kylie asks him twirling around, though she has settled for boots rather than heels. Yes, heels are way more iconic. But what's the meaning of wearing them if she is just gonna stutter around uncomfortable with the possibility of having sore feet the next day?

"Like an idiot." Kai deadpanned which earned him a glare from Kylie. She huffs clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth surface, what a killjoy. She is beautiful, it's not her fault he has a sore eyesight.

Kai shook his head looking at the idiot. It was nice for him to see a glimpse of her old self in her. The change happened so gradually that he had not realised how much she had grown up. Now, those types of energy feel so weird coming from her. "Did you tell Mom?" Kylie questioned him checking her purse for the house keys for the fifth time. Don't blame her. She can never trust her luck in those things.

"Yeah, I did. Now, come on we will be late." Kai hurried her almost dragging her along with him. While Kylie groaned remembering the number of people she had to socialize with in the span of a few hours. She can already predict how tiring it will be for her.

Nowadays everything I write seems like trash to me and that's all I could come up for today.

Am I the only one who thinks that Kylie is weird? The next chapter will be fun. Gear up for the chaos people.

Updated on 3 July 2023.

Edited on 13th March 2024

No. Of re-check -1