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Chapter Six: Nobody can save you.

Liam left the house, and I went up to my room. John hadn't arrived yet. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling, my hands resting on my chest. My mind was racing with a single thought: He's in love with me. That feeling filled me with joy, but also with sadness. Liam understood me, but I don't want things to be like this with Niall. I wish I could talk to him.

I heard knocking on my window again. When I looked out, I saw Niall with a guitar in his hand. A pang of fear ran through me; that girl at school had told me she would always be watching me. I motioned for Niall to go to the door, and he nodded. I opened it, and there he was.

—Niall... come in —I said.

He stepped inside and sat on the couch.

—What's wrong? —he asked, looking at me.

—Niall, I want you to understand why I haven't talked to you.

—Explain it to me, but promise me you won't push me away again —he replied in a soft voice.

I told him what had happened in the bathroom. He listened carefully. When I finished, he sighed.

—What happened at your old school? —he asked cautiously.

I took a deep breath and rolled up my sleeves to show him my wrists.

—I'm sorry, Niall. I don't know how else to explain it... This is the only way I know how.

—Emily... but... —he hesitated, unsure of how to react.

—I haven't spoken to you because I'm afraid of going through what I already suffered.

—But I just want to see you happy.

—I am happy with you, Niall. And with the guys —I replied, trying to smile.

—I'll be here for you, but please, don't stop talking to me.

—I'm scared, Niall.

—I will take you through fire and water for your love. I'll hold you tight, and I hope your heart is strong enough. We will find a way through the darkness. Together, we'll get through this. I will help you.

My eyes filled with tears as I hugged him.

—Thank you, Niall.

—And the guitar? —I asked, wiping my tears.

—I was coming to sing you something, to make you talk to me again. But I guess that's not necessary anymore —he said with a smile.

—No, I want to hear you.

Niall looked at me tenderly, picked up the guitar, and started singing. It was a beautiful song, my name was in the lyrics, and it mentioned some lovely things about me. I watched him, mesmerized. When he finished, I smiled at him and hugged him. Shortly after, I heard John coming into the house. I quickly put on my sweater to hide my wrists.

—Hi, John. How are you? —I greeted him.

—I'm good, Emily, thanks.

—I'm leaving now —the babysitter said as she gathered her things.

—Of course, thank you —I replied.

John looked at Niall and smiled at him.

—Hey, champ —Niall greeted him—. How are you?

—I'm good. Emily, I'm hungry. Can you make me something to eat?

—Of course, John. Stay with Niall while I prepare something.

I went to the kitchen and made hot chocolate and some cookies for John, listening to his laughter with Niall from the other side of the house.

"Through Niall."

Emily went to the kitchen, and John approached me, looking worried.

—Niall, are you going to help my sister? —he asked.

—Help her? With what? —I replied, confused.

—Her arms are cut. I don't want her to do that —he said, his voice filled with anguish.

—What? She doesn't do that —I replied, shocked.

—Yes, she does. I saw her cutting herself, and yesterday, there was blood in the bathroom. Help her, Niall.

—Of course, champ. —I hugged him tightly, wanting to give him some comfort.

—Thank you, Niall —he said, grateful.

At that moment, Emily returned from the kitchen and stopped when she saw us.

—What's going on here? —she asked, looking at the scene.

—I like your hugs and Niall's, Emily —John said with a mischievous smile.

Emily laughed a little, relieved by the lighthearted moment, and handed him a plate.—Here, have your snack —she said.

—Niall, you might have to leave. My parents will be home soon —Emily commented, a bit worried.

—Of course, but one day, I want to meet them —I replied.

—Of course, you will, Niall —she smiled at me.

—See you later, Niall —John said, hugging me again.

—See you later —I replied, hugging him back.

I walked to the door, and before leaving, I stopped.

—See you later, Emily —I said, looking at her.

I was about to say goodbye with a kiss on the cheek, but on impulse, I stole a kiss on her lips.

—Niall! —she exclaimed, surprised.

—See you, Em. —I replied, smiling.

—See you later, Horan —she said, still with a hint of surprise in her voice.

—By the way, I want to know your last name —I asked before she closed the door.

—See you later —she answered and shut the door behind her.

I walked back home with a light heart. When I arrived, my mom saw me come in with the guitar in hand.

—Hi, sweetheart. What are you doing with the guitar? —she asked.

—I went to sing to the love of my life, Mom —I answered, a silly smile on my face.

—That's nice. Who is it? —she asked, curious.

—She lives five houses down. They just moved in a few weeks ago —I told her.

—You barely know her, and you fell in love so quickly? —she said, raising an eyebrow with a mix of surprise and amusement.

—It's love, Mom. —I replied, unable to hide my excitement.

"Through Emily."

—John, what did you say to Niall? —I asked him, slightly concerned.

—He's going to help me be stronger, Emily —he replied with a small smile.

—Of course he will, John. Come on, let's get you bathed. Get your clothes ready.

—I'll wait for you upstairs, Em.

—Okay, John.

He went upstairs, and I stayed downstairs for a while, thinking. He's in love with me. My mind wouldn't let me rest.

Do you really think he loves you? He only pities you. He would never love a fat girl like you.

—Shut up! —I screamed in my head.

I climbed the stairs and found John already in the bathtub.

—John, stay still, don't splash —I told him while washing his hair.

—Why do you cut yourself? —he suddenly asked.

—What, John? —I stopped washing his hair and looked at him, surprised.

—Yeah... your arms are cut.

—Of course not, John! —I quickly replied, trying to hide my discomfort. —Hey, you know what?

—What? —he looked at me, curious.

—Tomorrow, a girl is coming over to talk to me, but maybe later, she'll play with you.

—Really? —he asked, excited.

—Yes. Now... stay still. Get out of there —I said as I helped him up. I wrapped a towel around him and carried him to his room. At that moment, the doorbell rang.

—John, stay here. I'll be right back —I told him, leaving him on the bed before heading downstairs.

I opened the door and saw the guys.

—Guys... what are you doing here? Come in.

—We came to hang out —Harry said with a smile.

—And Niall?

—He stayed with his mom —they all answered in unison.

—Oh... Guys, I just finished bathing my brother. I need to go back upstairs.

—Can we help? —they all asked at the same time.

I made a face.

—No, it's okay —I replied and went upstairs.

When I got there, I saw that John was still wrapped in the towel.

—John, some friends came to visit me. Will you get dressed?

—Who?

—Harry, Louis, Liam, and Zayn.

—They can help me with my style —he said playfully.                                                                                       

—Of course —I replied with a smile, helping him put on some pants.

—There we go. —I said to myself as I stood by the stairs. —Guys! Come up!

—Hey, buddy, how are you? —Harry greeted John.

—Uh... can you leave us alone? —John asked, a little shy.

—Yeah, Emily, it's man time —Louis said, throwing an arm around me as if he were drunk.

—Men? Hahaha, it's kid time. John, call me if they bother you —I warned jokingly. I stepped out of the room but called out to them before leaving:

—Guys, can you watch him while I take a shower?

—Of course, Em. Trust us —Liam replied with a reassuring smile.

I made a face at Liam but thanked him with a glance.

—Thanks. —I went to my room, grabbed some clothes, and stepped into the bathroom.

I undressed and locked the door.

The hot water fell over my skin like a small relief, but the calm was fleeting. My thoughts began to invade again, the voices in my head whispering things I didn't want to hear. I closed my eyes and let the water touch my face, but as soon as I did, everything became darker, heavier.

"What are you waiting for? What are you going to do now?" My mind whispered, each word crueler than the last.

My body started trembling slightly, as if it couldn't bear the weight of my thoughts. The water was hot, but inside, I felt frozen. I tried to take a deep breath, but the sensation that something terrible was about to happen was imminent, unstoppable. My wrists, covered in scars from my past, began to burn, as if the marks remembered every moment of suffering.

"No one is going to love you like this. You're a burden to everyone. Why would Niall stay? Why would anyone stay?"

Images flooded my mind. I saw my parents, their faces twisted in fear and anguish, as if they were trapped in an accident I couldn't prevent. I saw their bodies, lifeless, trapped in a wrecked car. I couldn't do anything to save them. It was as if reality and nightmare had fused into one, with no way out.

My breathing became erratic, my lungs struggling for air. My chest tightened, as if something invisible was crushing it. My trembling hands grabbed onto the shower curtain, searching for something to hold onto, but instead, the curtain collapsed on top of me. It felt like the whole world was falling with it.

"This is what you are. You're alone. No one is going to save you."

I tried to scream, but my throat was closed. I collapsed onto the shower floor, the curtain now tangled around my body. My head was spinning, my thoughts tangled with images of pain, despair, fear. I felt like I was drowning—not in water, but in the weight of my anguish.

—NO! NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP! —I screamed, my voice breaking with fear. The feeling of not being able to breathe intensified. My chest felt empty, and I gasped for air. Tears started falling uncontrollably, mixing with the shower water.

"No one loves you. You don't deserve to be happy. You're a burden."

I tried to get up, but my strength abandoned me. My legs wouldn't respond. The tears kept falling, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest, like an invisible pressure crushing me. I didn't know what to do, how to escape this spiral of self-destruction. Darkness swallowed everything, and I couldn't find a way out.

—Emily! Open up, please! —I heard Liam from the other side of the door. His voice was a beacon in the storm, but my mind was too clouded by fear to react. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I didn't want anyone to know what was happening inside me.

Suddenly, I heard the door beginning to give way, as if someone was trying to force it open. My mind screamed at them to stop, but my arms wouldn't move. I felt everything crumbling. The sound of the door crashing against the frame made me jump. The door broke open, and I saw Niall rush in, followed by Liam.

—Emily! —Niall shouted as he saw me on the floor, wrapped in the curtain. His eyes were filled with a mix of worry and desperation. Before I could react, he pulled me into his arms, and my whole body tensed at first. I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. But something in his embrace made me relax, even if just a little.

—It's okay, Em. I'm here —Niall whispered, his voice soft but firm. My sobs grew heavier as he held me in his arms. I felt lost, trapped in a sea of emotions I didn't know how to handle. His words, though comforting, didn't seem to quiet the storm raging inside me.

—We'll get through this. We'll find a way out of the darkness. —His voice was warm, but in my mind, the echoes of my self-criticism still lingered. The anguish didn't go away, but his words somehow made the weight on my chest feel a little lighter.

I kept sobbing, my tears falling like a torrential downpour. I felt that, despite all the pain, Niall didn't let go of me, and for some reason, that made me feel a little less alone. I saw the boys standing at the doorway, watching in silence. Zayn, Harry, and Louis were there, and even though they didn't know what was happening, I felt that their presence, though distant, offered me some comfort.

Liam stepped forward, looking at me with a serious yet worried expression, as if he wanted to help but didn't know how. I saw him take John to another room, probably to keep him away from the situation. Niall held me tighter, as if he never wanted to let me go.

—It's okay, Em. I'm here. I got you, you're not alone. I promise —Niall said, his voice steady, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like maybe... just maybe... I could start to believe him.

"Through Niall."

The guys had come to pick me up from home, ready to go to Emily's, but I told them I'd go later. I wanted to stay a little while with my mom to tell her about Emily. My mom was already quite excited to meet her. I thought it was time to go meet up with the guys, so I headed to Emily's house.

When I arrived, Harry answered the door. Em was taking a bath, so I stayed with him for a while. We were playing on the couch with John when, suddenly, we heard some screams. At first, I couldn't identify where they were coming from, but I knew it was Emily. Worry instantly took over me.

—Stay with John, I'm going to see what's happening —I told Harry, who quickly nodded. I rushed up the stairs, my heart pounding, and Liam was already there trying to open the door. It was locked, and Liam couldn't get it open. I knew this time was different—it was locked with a key. I quickly looked around and found it in a drawer in the hallway.

The door gave way, and I rushed inside. The scene left me speechless. Emily was on the floor, the shower curtain barely covering her. I couldn't control my breathing—it became shallow, and I felt a knot in my stomach. Liam reacted quickly, looking for a towel to cover her, but I was already by her side. I saw her sobbing, and my heart completely shattered at seeing her pain so raw, so evident.

I took her into my arms, holding her tightly against my chest.

—It's okay, Emily. I'm here, I'm with you —I whispered, trying to give her some comfort. I knew it wasn't much, but I wanted her to know she wasn't alone.

Her tears didn't stop; they fell with unstoppable force, and I felt each drop like a stab to my heart. Liam went downstairs, taking John to the park to give Emily some time, and the guys stayed at the door, watching us in silence. Their concern was clear on their faces. I made a small gesture with my hand, trying to reassure them. "She'll be okay," I told them with a slight nod.

I gently stroked her hair, searching for something that could bring her peace, though I didn't know if anything could calm her at that moment. Then she spoke, her voice trembling but full of vulnerability.

—Niall, take me to my room, please.

I looked at her and nodded without hesitation. I couldn't leave her like this. I carefully lifted her in my arms, and she covered herself with the towel, clinging to me as if she needed me to keep her standing. We went upstairs, and when we reached her room, I told the guys to go downstairs for a moment.

—Niall, turn around. I'll get dressed —she whispered.

Alright, I responded, immediately turning around to give her space. It was clear she needed her privacy. After a few minutes, she told me she was ready. I turned back around and saw her, still fragile, but at least a bit calmer.

I carefully laid her on the bed, and right away, she asked me not to leave.

—Niall, please don't go. Hold me, wait until I fall asleep.

—Are you sure? —I asked, wanting to make sure she really wanted me to stay.

—Yes, Niall —she said softly.

I lay beside her, wrapping my arms around her, and she held onto my hands tightly, as if they were her only anchor.

—Sing to me, Niall —she asked in a whisper.

And I couldn't resist. I started singing a Stevie Wonder song, something soft, something to calm her. Within less than a minute, I could feel her breathing relax, her body ease, and soon, she was asleep. Her sobs had faded, and though her tears still dampened my shirt, her face now showed a temporary peace.

I carefully got up so as not to wake her and headed downstairs. The guys were there, waiting for me. Liam wasn't back yet, but they told me he had taken John to bed.

—And Emily? —Harry asked, concerned.

—She's asleep. She's okay —I replied, trying to reassure them.

The door opened, and I heard Liam's voice. He was back with John, and it seemed like everything had gone well at the park.

—Great job, champ —I told John, who was smiling but looked tired.

—Are we going to sleep, John? —Liam asked, as if everything were part of a normal routine.

—Yes! I'm sleepy. Goodbye, Emily's friends. Goodbye, Niall —he said before Liam took him upstairs.

A few minutes later, Liam returned.

—What happened with Emily? —he asked, noticing the tension in the air.

—I don't know —I replied, shrugging—. But she's sleeping now. Maybe tomorrow she'll want to talk.

—Did she say anything to you? —he asked.

I told him what had happened. She had asked me to stay with her until she fell asleep and to hold her. And I did. She asked, and I wasn't going to leave her alone at that moment.

Liam looked at me with an expression that was hard to read, but somehow, I understood.

—You really are in love with her, mate —he said with a sad smile.

I nodded, unable to deny the obvious.

—Yeah, I am —I answered, looking at her bedroom door.

—Shall we go, guys? She'll be okay. Her parents will be home soon —Liam said, and the guys headed toward the door. Louis, Zayn, and Harry looked at me—they knew Emily needed space, and that's what we were giving her.

—Liam —I called him before he left.

—Yeah, Niall?

—Do you think we could have something, her and I? —I asked with some uncertainty, feeling like the road ahead might be difficult but hoping that things could improve.

Liam looked at me for a moment, thoughtful.

—Niall, I know you'll find a way through this darkness —he said, giving me a pat on the shoulder.

—Thanks —I responded, with gratitude.

And with that, we left Emily's house, each of us heading to our own homes, knowing that the road ahead for her, and for everyone, would be long.

"Through Emily."

It's not so bad listening to the conversations of others from the stairs. Niall, of course, we will find a way through this darkness. I think I've found my hero. And that hero is Niall Horan. Right now, I feel like this broken girl, who thought she couldn't go on, has found the angel she needed.

But at the same time, fear still lurks in my mind. It's not the fear of falling in love, no. It's the fear of myself. My worst enemy right now is me. I don't know how to start trusting my mind again, how to believe that I can be okay without my past consuming me.

...

I woke up in a strange way, my eyes open but not really awake. I was lying down, my mind seemed like a place full of shadows, but something pulled me out of that state. I saw someone opening the door. It was John. What was he doing up so early?

—Emily! Wake up. Make me breakfast. —he shouted with his cheerful voice.

—John... it's early. Go back to sleep. —I responded, squinting my eyes.

—No. Mom and dad are sleeping, and I'm hungry. I didn't eat last night.

—I'm sorry, John. Go downstairs, I'll get dressed and come down in a bit.

I got up, dressed quickly as usual, trying to cover up as much as I could, especially my arms. I didn't want him to see what was on my skin, what reminded me so much of the chaos inside me.

I went downstairs and found John on the sofa, watching TV. I went to the kitchen, made two hot chocolates, and found some cookies in the pantry. While I was preparing breakfast, I stayed thoughtful. I hadn't seen mom since the first day school started, and with dad, I hadn't spoken to him since we moved. Fear blocked me. I didn't know how to approach them, how to break the silence that had settled between us.

I put the tray with the cups of hot chocolate and the cookies on the table in front of John.

—What are you watching, John? —I asked, trying to change the subject.

—Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

—I like it too —I smiled weakly.

—More things to share, Emily. I love you —John said, hugging me.

I felt a bit warm inside, though the storm of thoughts didn't stop. But before I could say anything else, the doorbell rang.

—Who is it, Emily? —John asked curiously.

—I don't know, John. I'll go see —I replied before going to the door.

When I opened it, I found the guys. All five of them were there. Niall, Liam, Harry, Louis, and Zayn. They all smiled when they saw me, though I noticed some of them seemed a little nervous.

—Come in, guys —I said, inviting them in.

—Hello, Emily. —they all said in unison.

—Hello, Emily. —Niall said with a warm smile.

—Hello, Niall —I responded, a little more shyly.

—Hey, champ! How are you? —Niall asked John with his friendly tone.

—Good, for taking my chocolate.

—Emily, make me a chocolate? —Harry asked.

I sighed with a small smile.

—Okay. Does anyone else want one? —I asked them, without much enthusiasm.

—I DO! —they all said at the same time.

I went to the kitchen to prepare the hot chocolates, checking the time. It was 9:35 am. When I returned with the drinks, I reminded everyone that they would soon have to go to school, or as I used to call it, college, but it didn't matter. I focused back on what I had to do at the moment.

—Guys, after this, we have to go to school. John, mom will be up soon and will be with you. Then you'll go with the babysitter. —I told the guys.

I placed the cups on the table, and in a matter of seconds, they were gone.

—I'm done! —Louis shouted.

—I'm done —Zayn and Niall said in unison.

—I'm done —Harry said with his characteristic smile.

Liam, as always, took a bit longer. I was about to say something when the doorbell rang again. I looked at Liam, who seemed a bit uneasy.

—Emily, were you expecting someone? —he asked with a strange look.

—Actually, no, Niall —I responded before going to open the door.

When I opened the door, I saw her: a woman standing at the threshold, with a determined and somewhat defiant expression. I stood silent for a moment, trying to process what was happening. I recognized her face immediately, though I didn't know her well. She was the same girl who, not long ago, came up to warn me to stay away from Niall. At the time, I hadn't liked her attitude at all, but now, seeing her at my door, something told me this conversation wasn't going to be peaceful.

—Emily, dear, I came to take you to school —she said, with a voice that tried to sound friendly, but couldn't hide her tense and somewhat calculating tone.

I didn't understand how she knew my address or why she was looking for me, but something in her gaze made me feel uncomfortable. My stomach tightened, and a wave of nerves ran through me. The tension in the air was palpable. I was frozen, not knowing whether to invite her in or shut the door right away. But I couldn't do either. I was trapped in a moment I didn't know how to handle.

—Wait —I said, not quite sure what to do. I quickly closed the door and leaned against it, trying to think clearly.

I went straight to the kitchen, where Liam was talking to the guys. I felt my heart race, but I didn't want to show it.

—Liam... —I called, my voice trembling as I stared at him—. I need to talk to you, quickly.

Liam looked up, and although he didn't say anything, his gaze softened instantly. He always had that ability to know when something was wrong.

—What's going on, Emily? —he asked, concerned.

I sat at the table, trying to keep calm, but my mind was in chaos. I needed to explain what had happened, and quickly.

—The girl from school... The one who came to warn me about Niall, she's here —I said, almost unable to believe what I was saying—. She's at the door.

Liam furrowed his brow immediately. His expression changed to one of alertness. He certainly understood the seriousness of the situation.

—What does she want from you? —he asked, his tone now much firmer.

—I don't know, but... something doesn't feel right, Liam. She's here to take me to school, and I don't know how she knew my address. There's something weird about all of this. —I responded, my voice breaking at the end.

Liam came closer to me, standing in front of me, and his eyes softened, but there was also a palpable worry on his face.

Liam understood me instantly and gave me a look that made me feel a bit calmer.

—Calm down, go. She won't know you were with him, not unless I'm with you. —Liam said with a smile.

Liam left with the guys, said a "see you later" to them, and left me alone. I opened the door and left with her to school.

"Through Liam."

When we left Emily's house, I felt a mix of worries. I knew her past was something that haunted her, and it pained me to see her so vulnerable. But I also knew that Niall loved her with all his being, and she loved him. They were a team, and in the end, I hope they find the peace they both need.

—Let's wait about 15 more minutes. Then we'll leave. —I told the guys, though my mind kept thinking about Emily.

I don't want her past to torment her anymore. It hurts to see her struggle against herself. But after a storm, the sun always comes out. And I trust they will find it.

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