I felt bad thinking that Niall was like this because of me.
...
I got up and went to the bathroom; another school day awaited me. After getting ready, I went to John's room, who was still fast asleep. I passed by my parents' room, and they were also asleep. Didn't Dad have to work? I looked at the time: it was 9 a.m. I went to the kitchen and made a "breakfast" that consisted only of juice.

As I was leaving the house, I ran into Niall, who was walking toward me.

"Hi, Emily, how are you?" he asked with a somewhat nervous smile.

"Hi, Niall. I'm good, thanks. And you?" I replied, a bit tense.

"I'm good, thanks. But... we need to talk," he said, avoiding my gaze.

"Sure, but... can we go to your house? Everyone here is still sleeping," I said, looking toward the house.

"Yeah, let's go," he answered, looking down as we walked. I felt a chill. I'm scared, I thought.

When we arrived at his house, I was impressed by how beautiful it was. Upon entering, I saw the guys sleeping on the living room floor. "Ignore them, they stayed here last night. My mom is working," Niall explained.

"Sure. Your house is really nice," I said, trying to ease the tension a bit.

"Thanks. Come, let's go to the kitchen," he led me to the table and served me a hot coffee.
Niall looked me directly in the eyes, with an intensity that made me look away.

"Emily, I know you don't want to talk about this, but I need to know what's going on with you. I can see in your eyes that you're not okay, even though you try to fake smiles. You're hurting me by not being honest with me."

My throat went dry, and I could only look at the coffee. How do I respond to that?

"Emily... you're hurting me," he repeated in a whisper, almost pleading.

"Niall, really... I'm not pretending with you or the guys. I'm truly happy, I have my family and now I also have you guys. I'm happy, believe me," I tried to convince him.

"If you're really happy, show me," he said, narrowing his eyes.

"I can't... I'm cold," I responded softly.

"You're not happy, Emily!" he shouted at me, and his words pierced through me

"Of course I am! Since I met you, I am," I replied, and hearing myself say that, I surprised myself.

I didn't know what to do after saying those words. I got up abruptly, grabbed my backpack, and headed for the door. "Sorry, Niall. Goodbye," I said quickly. He watched me silently.

"See you later, Emily."

On the way, those words bounced in my mind. I said "goodbye"; he said "see you later."
When I arrived at school, I went to the bathroom. The girls from my class were there, and I wanted to turn around, but they intercepted me.

"Back again, fat girl? You're making my life easy," one of them said, with a cruel smile.

"What do you want now?" I asked, feeling the knot in my stomach.

"Stay away from Niall!" she responded, defiantly.

"What?" I murmured, confused.

"Yeah, you heard me. Stay away from him. Niall is mine, and I won't let you be with him. So you better stay away, or..."

"Or what?" I replied, trying to sound more confident than I felt.

"I know what you went through at your old school... and I can make you go through that here too. I know everything about you," she said, and my tears began to fall.

"Okay, just leave me alone, please," I begged, almost in a whisper. She laughed, enjoying my reaction.

"I'll leave you alone... as long as you stay away from Niall. Don't explain anything to him or talk to him. Just ignore him. Remember: the old school."

I nodded, feeling defeated. I left the bathroom and headed to my locker. On the way, I ran into Niall. He tried to talk to me, but I ignored him.

"Emily, please talk to me," he insisted.

"Niall! Just leave me alone. Don't talk to me again, okay?"

He looked at me, confused and hurt. I felt a pain in my chest seeing him like that, but behind him, I noticed the girls watching us. I tried to stay strong.

"Just... leave me, Niall. Don't talk to me," I said coldly, turning my face so he wouldn't see my tears.

"Goodbye, Niall."

"Through Niall."

Emily... I think she broke my heart. Why do I say "I think"? No, she broke it. I heard it in her tone, in her words. That "goodbye" she said twice, so serious, so final. I felt a tear fall, and I didn't even care to hide it. What's going on with her? Why do I feel like there's something underneath, something she's hiding? I know she's not happy, not deep in her heart. I can see that sadness in her eyes that she masks with smiles, and it kills me. I'm not able to reach the pain she hides. I wish I could save her, be her hero... but I feel like it's impossible.

I went to the cafeteria to find the guys, hoping for some comfort or explanation. I told them what happened this morning, what she said, and how she left so suddenly. They all listened in silence, and in the end, it was Harry who spoke first.

"Bro, we talked to Emily last night. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, but... we told her that you thought she wasn't happy, that she wasn't being herself with you," he confessed, scratching his head with some guilt.

I felt a momentary anger and almost wanted to yell at them for intervening, but then I understood they were just trying to help.

"And what did she say?" I asked, holding back the frustration.

"She said she was happy," Zayn said, looking at me seriously. "But she said it almost like a whisper, as if she wasn't very sure it was true."

I sighed, feeling a mix of relief and more confusion. "Happy?" She said something similar to me this morning, but it didn't sound real.

"So, why do I feel like this?" I finally said, rubbing my eyes. "I think I'm really in love with her, but I don't know if that matters to her."

Liam came over and patted me on the shoulder, trying to cheer me up.

"Niall, give her time," he said gently. "It's obvious she's dealing with something. You just have to be patient, okay?"

I nodded, although inside everything was a whirlwind. We went to class together, me with Zayn and Liam, while Louis and Harry went to their own class. I don't know how I'll handle this if I have the same classes as Emily all day.

In class...

I walked into the classroom and saw her talking to a new guy, Lee. It seemed like she was really comfortable with him, even smiling. I felt a pang of jealousy, and even though I tried not to look at her, my eyes couldn't stop following her. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and walked over to her, determined to talk.

"Emily, how are you?" I said, trying to sound firm.

She didn't even look at me, and her expression changed to something distant.

"I'm fine, Niall," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "Goodbye."

Before I could say anything else, she turned and walked out of the classroom with Lee following her. I stood there, stunned, watching her walk away. I felt my chest tighten, and I barely noticed when Zayn came up to me.

"Bro, she'll come around, trust me. You just have to wait," he said, trying to comfort me, although I wasn't sure I believed him. "Let's go to the cafeteria for something to eat," he said while giving me a hug around the shoulders.

We arrived, and there they were, chatting and laughing together.

Seeing her there, so close to Lee, really hurt. And besides, Lee... well, he's a really handsome guy, and that worries me. I wish Emily could be herself with me, that she could talk to me and trust me. The guys told me she'll come around, that she'll talk to me again. In the end, I decided to gather my courage and walk over to her table.

"Through Emily."

Lee and I were talking when I saw Niall walk into the classroom. It wasn't going to be easy to ignore him.

"Emily, I had all the classes with you yesterday, did you know?" Lee commented, frowning. "But you didn't even notice, you were always with Niall. What happened now?"

"Really?" I sighed, feeling a little embarrassed. "I should pay more attention to that. But things aren't going well now, Lee... I'll tell you later in the cafeteria."

"Okay. Well, let's do what the teacher said," he replied, trying to change the subject.

The class went by without problems until I received a note from Niall. When I opened it, I felt a mix of sadness and frustration: "You're hurting me, you know?" I crumpled the paper and threw it away, wishing to avoid this situation turning into a drama like the one I had in my old school. At the end of the class, Lee and I went to the cafeteria. I only ordered juice; I had no appetite for anything else.

As we sat down, Lee watched me closely.

"Do you know who's looking at you right now?" he asked in a low voice.

"Who?" I replied, though deep down I already had an idea.

"Turn around."

I slightly turned my head, and sure enough, Niall was looking at me. I felt a stab in my chest and quickly looked away. Lee noticed my discomfort and leaned toward me.

"That's what I wanted to tell you," I said. Then I told him everything... well, almost everything. I talked to him about my situation with Niall, but I left out the part about self-harm. I didn't want him to know that yet.

Lee listened attentively and gave me some advice, something that really comforted me. He's a real friend.

"Emily, Niall's coming over," Lee whispered.

I didn't have time to react before Niall sat down next to me.

"Emily, we need to talk," he said, his tone determined.

I tensed up immediately. I didn't want to confront him again.

"I'm sorry, Niall, but I have to go. I have... things to do. Goodbye, Niall."

I stood up quickly and looked at Lee.

"Let's go, Lee."

"I'm coming, Emily," he said, following me. I could see Niall's pained expression in my peripheral vision as we walked away. It hurt to see him like that, but I felt like distancing myself was the best thing. Maybe he thinks this is his fault, but it's not... it's her fault.

"Are you okay, Emily?" Lee asked quietly as we walked.

"Yeah, it's just... seeing him like that hurts. He thinks it's his fault, but it's not. This is because of something that happened with someone else."

"Don't worry, Emily," Lee replied, placing a hand on my shoulder. "She'll realize that all of this was for nothing."

"Thanks, Lee."

He smiled at me and then looked toward the classroom.

"Let's go to class, we have Geography."

"Through Niall."

Again... another goodbye in which she says "goodbye." The pain is getting harder to bear.

"Bro, she'll talk to you soon, she must be dealing with some family issue," Zayn tried to comfort me.

"With her family? They're always working," I replied, frustrated. "Guys! She said goodbye to me again."

"And?" Louis asked, confused.

"And?" I repeated sarcastically. "She taught me that when someone says 'goodbye,' it means they won't be seeing you for a long time. You're supposed to say 'see you later' if you plan to see that person soon. Why did I fall in love with someone so cold?"

Liam placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry, Niall. I'm sure there's a reason why she can't or won't talk to you."

"Through Emily."

Lee and I stayed in the classroom while we waited for the teacher. I was surprised when he started telling me about his life. He told me that he only has an older brother and a younger sister. His parents died in an accident when his brother was 21 and he was 13, and since then, he's had to take care of his little sister, who is now 13. The sadness in his eyes was evident as he remembered it.

"You know? Someday, you could come have dinner with your brothers," I offered, wanting them to at least have one peaceful evening.

Lee looked at me with gratitude.

"Really? My sister Barbie would love that. I'm sure she would be able to talk to you... you're a woman, and I think she needs someone who understands her."

"Why do you say that?" I asked, curious.

"A neighbor, who must be around seventy, mentioned something about what tends to happen to girls her age. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know. Of course, I'll talk to her, Lee. Maybe I can help her open up a little more to you and your brother."

He smiled at me gratefully, and just then, the teacher arrived, giving us instructions for a group project. I was glad to have met someone like Lee; his friendship was a relief right now.

Another calm class. Today flew by, and before I knew it, it was time to go. Lee accompanied me on the way since we're having dinner together at my place tomorrow, and he didn't know how to get there. As we walked, I heard footsteps behind us. When I turned around, I saw the guys. They were chatting and joking, all except Niall, who was walking silently, looking at the ground. This situation really hurts me.

When we got home, I said goodbye to Lee with a smile.

"See you later, Lee. I'll see you tomorrow," I said, raising my hand to wave.

"See you, Emily," he replied, smiling.

As he walked away, the guys passed by us. Niall looked up, and our gazes met briefly. I gave him an apologetic look before entering the house, but I wasn't sure if he understood. Just as I was about to close the door, Liam approached.

"Emily, what's going on between you and Niall?" he asked seriously. "You stopped talking to him, and he doesn't understand why."

I sighed, knowing I might need to explain something.

"Liam, I'll tell you, but please don't tell Niall," I asked.

"Okay. I won't say anything, I'm a man of my word," he assured me.

"Then come in."

We entered, and as usual, the house was empty. We sat in the living room, and after taking a deep breath, I told him everything that happened today and also what happened this morning. I felt like I could trust him, that somehow he would understand. When I finished speaking, Liam looked at me with compassion.

"Emily... really? I had no idea you went through all that. I'm so sorry. Is that why you changed schools?"

I shook my head.

"No, my parents got jobs here. I never told them what was going on."

Liam nodded thoughtfully.

"So, you're not talking to Niall because you're afraid that what happened in the past will repeat itself?"

"Exactly, Liam. I don't want to go through that again."

"I won't say anything, I promise," he said sincerely. "But I'll tell Niall that you're not talking to him because you're scared."

"Scared?" I asked, confused.

"Yeah, scared of love," he answered, looking at me intently.

I lowered my gaze and thought about his words.

"Scared of love?" I repeated, unsure.

"Yeah. Aren't you scared?" he asked gently.

"Well... yeah," I admitted, finally. "I've always been scared of love."

"Why?" he asked.

"I think... love is like life, you know?" I answered after thinking for a moment.

"How's that?" he asked, intrigued.

"Life teaches you to live, but first, you have to learn to be strong. I think love is the same," I told him, trying to put my thoughts into words. "It teaches you to love, but first, you have to be strong, not fragile."

Liam nodded, understanding.

"Exactly, Emily. I get it."

He paused, and I felt like I could truly trust him, that I could tell him something I hadn't shared with anyone else, except the therapist who was secretly helping me.

"Liam... can I trust you with a secret?"

"Of course, tell me," he said, in a reassuring tone.

I slowly took off my jacket, and then, under my sweater, I rolled up my sleeve to show him the bandages covering my arms. Liam looked at them, surprised, and then, without saying anything, I removed the bandages to show him the scars.

"Emily..." he murmured, and gently ran his fingers over one of the scars. His touch was soft, not judgmental.

"I couldn't stand the emotional pain, and I found that physical pain calmed it, even if just for a moment," I explained, with a lump in my throat.

Liam looked at me with a mix of sadness and admiration.

"You're special, Emily. I've never met anyone as strong as you. Despite everything, you go out into the world smiling, radiating sweetness, tenderness... you make everyone laugh with your good humor. That's incredible."

"Liam..." I replied, moved by his words. "Please, don't tell anyone. I want to be the one to tell the guys, but Niall... I can't, not yet."

Liam took my hands, looking at me seriously.

"Emily... he's not going to give up, you know? Niall will wait his whole life if he has to. He'll do whatever it takes to get you to talk to him again."

"Really, Liam?" I asked, touched.

Liam smiled and nodded.

"He's truly, madly, and deeply in love with you, Emily."