BOOKTITLE : Carlos, I'm a Super Genius.

REVIEWER: jes_uba123

AUTHOR : explodingdepression

GENRE : Teenfiction

COVER: 4/10:

Your cover was okay but I wouldn’t say it was the best either. You’re dealing with a teen fiction book and you know what most teenagers love, an attractive and appealing book cover. People mostly judge a book by it’s cover, so if it’s not catchy, most teenagers avoid eye contact with the book. Also, the cover doesn’t really tell us about what the book is about, so I’d love it if you can fix that.

TITLE: 4/10:

You have a great title but I’ll repeat this again, you’re dealing with teen fiction and this title mostly fits into either fantasy or adventure. Although it’s an okay one, I won’t say it’s the best for a teen fiction book if you’re trying to pull readers who are teenagers but at least, you were able to find a title for your book, so kuddos to you!

STORY DESCRIPTION: 6/10

It’s cool that you have a story description because some authors tend to not add it and they leave it up to the readers to imagine what the book contains *hitting head on a table continuously* like who does that? But well you gave us a description.

However, your description was too short and didn’t really tell us much about what the book contains (e.g, where did the super power come from? Was it from birth?) you have to tell the readers something, so that we have more of an idea of what we are to expect from the book when we start reading.

NB: Every story description has to be written in present tense and please be consistent with it. If you mix up the tenses, it gets confusing and maybe unappealing to readers. I quote from your book:

His father died in a car accident and ever since then, he has always been predicting…

This should be:

His father dies in a car accident and ever since then, he has always been predicting…

 ~ The use of commas, full stop, etc, are relevant because they make your description fluent. I quote from your book:

Carlos Anderson. The most intelligent kid you’ll evermet.

This should be:
Carlos Anderson, the most intelligent kid you’ll evermeet.

Although, keep it up and re-edit the description again, maybe by following these guidelines.

 
PAGE LAYOUT : 4/10

You need to work on your page layout;
~ Paragraphs: They were too long, therefore, this tends to be unappealing to the readers. Readers hate it when they see long paragraphs ahead of them, so kindly work on that. At least, each paragraph should have a maximum of four (4) to five (5) lines so that readers would be craving to read the next paragraph.

 ~ Spacing: You need to work on the spacing because this brings out the neatness of your work and helps the readers flow easily and cheerfully with your work. Note that when a person starts talking, it should be in a different paragraph - so a different person talking, requires another paragraph to be opened to make the work neat and appreciated. I quote from your book:

 “We’ll always be friends Jake, right?” Carlos said, to his best friend Jake. “I can’t be friends with someone who’s moving away from me!” Jake, said…

This should be:

“We’ll always be friends Jake, right?” Carlos said to his best friend. (You don’t need to repeat his name since Carlos already mentioned it).

 “I can’t be friends with someone who’s moving away from me!” Jake said… (The comma after Jake is not needed, it disrupts the fluency of the sentence to the readers).

Last and not the least, your order of sequence flowed very well. *thumbs up*

 
CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT : 5/10

Your character Carlos, I really love him but I wish you could make him more realistic to the readers. Your plot is going very fast, if you could relax and slow things down by explaining things more and letting us know more about him, how he looks, his likes and dislikes, where he stays, etc, then the book and character development would be superb!

 
GRAMMAR / VOCABULARY / SPELLING : 5/10

~ Your vocabulary was good and outstanding but you need to work on some things. I quote from your book:

 …nearly have 0 friends…

 This is supposed to be:

 …nearly have zero friends… (The ‘0’ has to spelt because you’re writing a book, not a maths question).

 Also, I quote from your book:

 I’m different than other people.

 This is supposed to be:

 I’m different from other people.

 Lastly, I quote from your book:

 Oh shoot forgot to introduce myself.

 This should be:

 Oh shoot, I forgot to introduce myself.

 ~ Your spelling of words was really good, keep it up! Just be careful not to miss words because if you miss important and valuable words, it affects your writing.

~ You have to work on your grammar, point of view, use of comma, capital letters, use of ellipses, etc. I would quote some things from your book and correct them.

 This sentence contains the use of your comma, capital letter and ellipses. I quote from your book:

 Just got to survive 10 months and then 6th grade is over. He repeated this thought in his head for a while until… he made his way into the bathroom.

This should be:

 Just got to survive ten months and then sixth grade was over, he repeated this thought in his head for a while until he made his way into the bathroom.

 ~ The ending of chapter one. I quote from your book:

 Meanwhile at school…

 Because you’re writing from one Point of view, you can not tell us what other people are seeing because we are only supposed to see or hear what Carlos can see and hear. If you actually want to add this part, you can make Carlos hear it or maybe someone overheard it and told Carlos about it the next day or another day.

 Keep writing and kuddos to you!

 
COMMUNICATION WITH READERS : 2/5

The communication with readers wasn’t really good. You hardly replied to comments from readers and not doing this can make readers not want to continue reading the book because they love to interact with their best writer and have a feeling of belonging, so kindly work on this.

GENERAL SATISFACTION : 7/15

Your book was nice! I really loved the idea you had for the book but the grammatical errors made it really difficult for me to enjoy it to the fullest. I’d love it if you could follow this review and make your book a perfect and appealing one. *thumbs up*

TOTAL: 37/80

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING YOUR WORK FOR REVIEW. WE WISH YOUR WORK MORE SUCCESS. -TSC