BOOK TITLE : ROXY

REVIEWER: ruh_says

AUTHOR: XOXO COCONUT,  00Tammy00

GENRE; Romance /Drama

COVER: 7/10

The cover is average. The background picture is a blur and has an unnecessary overlay. The colour scheme of the BG makes it dull and uninteresting. The font is good and completely dominating the unsaturated cover.

TITLE: 10/10

As the title of the book is named after the female protagonist it signals that her character holds a lot of importance. Certainly, it does. Overall It’s a short and sweet and definitely not an ordinary one.

BLURB: 6/10

When I first read the description, the initial three lines portrayed that Leo was attempting to assault her. Even after that when Roxy rubs the mud on his face it seemed like she was protecting herself. But next moment it took me ajar when she creates a heart shape on his face & after a while, Leo confesses his feelings for her.

The phrases like ‘he takes my hair and drag it in thick mud’ doesn’t seem like the lovable thing to do to me but that it is. Rest blurb was quite decent and gave adequate insight into the story.

PAGE LAYOUT (paragraphs, spacing, lines, order of sequence, neatness): 7/10

Length of paragraphs & chapters is decent. But lacks in neatness. Dialogues of two parties shouldn’t be clubbed in the same paragraph cause if you miss any punctuation sign or proper expression it might change the meaning of statement and reader might get confused or lost.

In chapter one, you have battered the beginning i.e first chapter of the story with the cast.

I think it will look neat and presentable if you separate them into two individual parts. My wattmatics instincts say that has one more benefit if you do so, you get one extra vote from every reader.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT : 8/10

Character development is gradual. Leo’s character emerges eventually when he sees Roxy with someone else or having a great time without him. Cliché! But then again romance novel is all about clichés. Lol!

But I felt serious development in Leo’s character when he almost about confess what he felt for her but gets cut off by rose’s invasion (I hate her just for that, apart from that she is cool too) and Even noticed the change in him when all of the sudden his girlfriend arrives disturbing his and Roxy’s light progress. Though he manages to get rid of her once and for all.

GRAMMAR/VOCABULARY /SPELLING: 5/10

Grammar and vocab are where your story lack. Your sentence formations are inappropriate at many places e.g

“Dave, please don’t make us late or I will just walk.” I say to my stepdad.

In this sentence, you are warning and pleading him although together. You can better write with one emotion.

“Dave you got to hurry up, I don’t want us to get late,” I warned my stepfather though I didn’t accept him as one. He was better off my mother’s second husband.
I waited impatiently for him to reply but his lack of decency got me to yell angrily, “or else I will just walk off with you guys.”
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In chapter waters, the sentence ‘Leo’s gaze was completely on me’ sounds out of nowhere. Better if you rewrite...

“Oh, you guys are so cute,” haze’s stepmother squeals watching me and haze together. I giggled at her compliment turning around. My heart hitched right away as soon as I locked my eyes to the sharp gaze of Leo.
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There a point where you referred to water as taller is absurd better refer it deeper.

There are places where you have written sad instead of said. And similar errors like such. That can be rectified easily if you reread your chapters.

In chapter I wonder, where Roxy says, “why did you take me here.” it sounds sexual at first but what she actually meant was “why did you bring me here.” (she was referring the place.)

There are few errors like these but you can easily get rid of once you reread and edit the book.

COMMUNICATION WITH READERS: 2/5

You also need to work on this. Communication is essential to hook your readers to the story. I have noticed you hardly reply to the comments which is not the best sign to give to your readers.

Try conversing them in the comments section about the plot and storyline and try to keep them engaged in the story.

GENERAL SATISFACTION  (pleasure derived from reading, intriguing?) : 13/15
I loved the storyline. It is quite fascinating to unleash how will Leo and Roxy handle the feeling for each other, I mean I don’t read such stories often where the girl falls in love with the boy who protects her like an older brother.

And on another hand, the older brother fails terribly to resist her namesake younger sister. I couldn’t agree less, the story is entertaining, when I started I could feel the urge to read more and more of it.

Though the initial few chapters tricky to read eventually I adapted your way of writing. I really love Leo and Roxy sweet-sour banters. I even liked the way you portray Roxy’s importance in McClure’s Family and how everyone loves her.

I like how Leo scares every one of and act innocent and the list is never-ending...

TOTAL : 58/80

MESSAGE FROM THE REVIEWER ;

I hope this helps you. Any if you have any query let me know in the comment section.
Thank you

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING YOUR WORK FOR REVIEW. WE WISH YOUR WORK, GREAT SUCCESS- TSC