5

Fury and a small team of only two medical examiners arrived at Torrance's apartment only twenty minutes after the incident. Santiago had returned to his apartment before he would be questioned by Fury as to why a civilian was brought into her line of work, keeping him a secret for now. She had securely tucked her gun back into its hiding place underneath the sink, hoping Fury didn't notice the lack of murder weapons.

She went through her list of actions to take. She got rid of Santiago, that had been first. Then, her gun. She had the urge to begin to clean the floor, to scrub it clean of the seeping blood that had spread into a small pool around Sasha's head. Instead, she focused on her own wounds.

She sat on one of her bar stools, holding a frozen bag of peas to her cheek that was warm and throbbing from Sasha's violent hits. Her arm added to the pain, fresh stitches keeping the graze together from where the bullet had brushed past her, lodging itself into the brick wall near her front door. She peeled the bag from her face as Fury approached her, arms crossed as he said, "What the hell happened?"

"He broke into my place, said he was--" She cleared her throat before whispering, "--looking for the tapes."

Fury rubbed his forehead, moving to stand closer so their conversation would be more hushed as the two medical examiners took pictures of the body. "The Anastasia Moroz tapes?"

She nodded, sitting on the edge of her seat. "She's still alive."

Fury looked at her suspicious, "Did he tell you this or did you get it from your mind thing?"

"My mind thing," she said, sighing again with a roll of her eyes. "Not only is she alive, but Hydra is looking for Bucky Barnes to kill her. They were lovers or something, but that's not the point-they're looking for him to kill her--"

"Bucky Barnes is not a threat," Fury said back with a frown. "He hasn't been for some time now, he's MIA, a ghost story, not even Captain Rogers has heard from him-but you're saying Hydra's going to find him and what? Brainwash him all over again so he can kill Anastasia Moroz who's probably been dead for decades now?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Sometimes."

"Do. You. Trust. Me?"

He nodded.

"I went into his thoughts," she hissed. "I dove into his conscious mind, I know when thoughts are falsified and I know when they are true. What I found inside his brain was all truth, no lies. It was like he wanted me to find everything out."

He wants me to find you, she thought. 

"Did you find anything else out before you killed him?"

"He was trying to find the link between me and Anastasia," she explained, dropping the bag of peas on the table. "He was sent here to kill me, silence me completely, no one is supposed to know about Ana and what's she done. But now we both do, we've been sucked into something big, bigger than all of us--bigger than Hydra and bigger than S.H.I.E.L.D. Hell, it's bigger than the Avengers, sir. We can't back down from this, we're in too deep. We have to find the link and find Bucky Barnes before Hydra does."

"So what do you suppose we do, Ms. Avery?" There was a faint smile on his face, like he was expecting her to say this for some time now.

"We contact Captain Rogers."

"I'll set up a time and place," Fury said, pulling his phone from his coat pocket and he stood in silence as he pulled up his contacts, Torrance narrowing her eyes and groaning, "You have him on speed dial, don't you?"

He rolled his eyes, murmuring, "Shut up, are you free later this evening?"

She nodded, watching him with a curious eye. "What made you decide to send me off before I was minutes away from meeting the guy?"

"You weren't ready."

"I've been ready for over seventy years."

"Why didn't you just go find him yourself when he was in the army? Not like you two aren't so different," he said back, slipping his phone back into his pocket, arms crossed.

"Aren't you forgetting?" she smiled. "I'm missing a part of my life, if I met him-I obviously don't remember."

"Don't you ever wonder what you're missing? The experiences? The conversations? The people?" he asked her curiously, leaning against one of the bar stools to her left. 

She smiled, shaking her head and lying straight through her teeth, "No. Not at all."

~

Torrance was standing outside the Avengers Facility nervously, her heart thumping rapidly against her chest as she stared up at the building. She had parked her ride in the large parking lot probably made for all of Tony Starks designer cars. She wondered what the man was like, having heard about him for decades, even following the old news letters about his father, Howard. She wondered if Stark was here along with Steve Rogers, she had so many thoughts running through her head she barely noticed the rain beginning to fall, sending her running to the big front doors.

When she pushed her way inside, she was stopped instantly and asked for ID. She flashed her badge and they let her pass and she was completely starstruck, having dreamt of this moment for months even since the new facility was opened. She was envious of Fury being able to come here often, working out of one of their office and helping the Avengers, but also was glad she didn't experience the work he did, knowing he also worked back in New York City with her, trying to rebuild the old S.H.I.E.L.D. 

She pulled her jacket tighter around her, her arm still slightly stiff from the day before. Usually her healing was on par, healing her within hours and maybe even minutes, but this time it was taking longer. She knew her stress levels affected how easily she could heal, so she blamed her nerves on the meeting about to occur. 

Fury told her to meet them on the second floor, wherever that may be.

So she wandered around the first floor, looking out windows and at the helicopters landing and the people who ran past like they were Avengers themselves. She wanted to melt into the place, create her own world inside this place where she was one of them. 

Where she was a hero.

When she found the elevator, she got in reluctantly, not wanting to top her exploring quite yet but she knew she had an important meeting but she liked the idea of being fashionably late. She stuff her bare hands in her pockets, not wanting to wear her usual gloves to avoid people's personal space and memories she didn't want to explore without true meaning. She was hoping to catch his hand, let all of his seep into her so she could finally experience what it was like to save people and stop the real bad guys through him. 

She wanted to live through him like he would live through a dream.

When the elevator made it to the second floor, the doors opened with a soft creak as she stepped out, amazed. It was like she stepped into someone's home because as she turned the corner she walked past slightly opened doors that lead into bedrooms and bathrooms and closets. She stared into the bedrooms and wondered what they were like on the inside, wondered how the other side truly lived.

Torrance walked into the living room, Fury sitting on one of the chairs around a small wooden coffee table and someone was speaking from the kitchen, back to her as the man dug around in the fridge. When the man turned, three bottles of water in hand, she saw him for the first time in person and she almost completely lost her breath.

Blonde, tall, and stupidly handsome. She had seen the face of America before, the face of glory and heroics, plastered online, on TV screens, in newspapers, and across walls, but never in person. Never like this.

"You must be Torrance Avery," Steve Rogers said to her and she found herself more confident than before as she smiled and nodded, "And you're Captain America, pleasure to finally be meeting you."

"Heard you missed me by a couple minutes during the battle of New York," he said with a smile as he placed the waters down on the coffee table and sticking out a hand for her to shake. She laughed, "Blame Fury for that." 

She stared at his hand though, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the fact that she would willingly be violating this mans memories. It was different from Sasha, how he had been the one to attack her, almost kill her in her own home, but this was Steve Rogers, and she felt compelled to tell him the truth right away. She held her bare hand up like she was waving, shaking her head with a nervous frown, "You don't want me touching you with a bare hand unless you want me to know all your deepest darkest secrets."

Why the hell hadn't she worn her gloves?

Steve's eyes flashed to Fury who only stared back at him, waiting for them to sit down. When Steve met her eyes again, he was smiling and shaking his head, "At least buy me dinner first before getting to know everything about me." She was relived he found it funny as she sat down on a chair identical to Fury's across from Steve. He sat with his hands in his lap as he looked between the two of them and starting with, "You wanted to speak to me about Hydra?"

Fury nodded, sitting up in his chair. "We've recently discovered a Hydra warplane, near the location we dug you up a few years ago. Sent Agent Avery and another...trusted agent, who turned out to be Hydra. Then just a few day after that, Avery here is attacked by another Hydra agent. Hydra hasn't come out from the shadows as willingly as this since your encounter with Barnes and Alexander Pierce. The agent who attacked Avery in her home--"

"--Sasha."

"--Sasha, helped her understand why he was there because she used her--"

"--extraordinarily special powers."

"--powers."

"You find out information on other people just by touching them?" Steve asked her and she looked at him, nodding and smiling as she said, "Want me to test them out on you now?"

Steve looked at Fury again and out of the corner of her eye she saw Fury shake his head before Steve looked at her and smiled again and said, "Maybe some other time, what were you saying about the Hydra agent, Sasha?"

What doesn't Fury want her to know?

Torrance ignored the twinge of anger as she wondered what the two men had been speaking about before she had arrived. They obviously knew something she didn't. Instead of questioning them both right away, she let it settle inside her, festering like a a rotten wound as she responded to him, "He told me about Bucky Barnes."

"What about him?"

"How he wasn't the first fist of Hydra, but the modified one after the first ran away. How he's the key to killing the first and how Hydra will bend and mold him back into their perfect little soldier if we don't stop it first. We came here to ask you where Bucky Barnes is, Captain. It's a matter of life and death--"

"I don't know where Barnes is," Steve said, interrupting her. "But if I would guess? Somewhere in Europe."

"We need your help tracking him down, because with everything I've learned in the past few days, we could use a man like that helping us. He knows everything about Hydra, probably better than you do and if he helps us, we can take down Hydra once and for all! Please, we need to find him, we can't let Hydra get to him first and kill her--"

"Slow down, Avery," Fury said under his breath, holding a hand out and looking at Steve who's brows were furrowed. "We just need his location, that's all. Just so we know Hydra doesn't have him and we can all rest easy."

Steve looked away from Fury and back at her, "Kill who?"

Fury shook his head, not wanting her to say anything but of course she ignored him and rushed out with, "Anastasia Moroz, the original fist, the first soldier of Hydra. She's a trained assassin who vanished over seventy years ago, just like you. She was experimented on with the Super Soldier Serum, like me and like you and like Barnes--"

"I knew we were linked somehow," Steve said. "I looked you up after Fury contacted me about this meeting. You were part of old test trials for the serum, what you did helped create me."

"Ana needs our help--"

"Why does an old Hydra agent need our help?" he asked her and she sat up higher on her seat, glaring. "I don't owe Hydra anything and I assure you, Hydra won't be able to find Bucky. It's like what you all already know, he's a ghost and he can stay a ghost for however long he wants because he can. He won't come out of the shadows just because of some plea from me, besides, I don't have a single clue where he could be." He sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I'm sorry, Torrance. I want to help you, but I really don't know where he could be."

This time Torrance couldn't hide her anger, standing fast enough her chair screeched loudly behind her across the floor before tipping over and falling. She pointed a crooked finger at Steve Rogers, snarling out, "All you heroes are the same. You only help when you get something out of it. So what do you want, Captain America? Money? A new suit? Maybe even a new shield? Tell me so I can get you off your ass to help me stop Hydra!"

Steve didn't look at her, speaking only to Fury, "I don't know where he is, I can't help--"

Your anger will be the death of you, Torrance Avery.

She charged him, shouting, "Lair!" She pushed him surprisingly hard against the wall behind them, her hands pushing their way against his face and her fingers burned into his skin as he gripped onto her arms, trying to push her back, her strength was something he did not except. "What were you and Fury talking about before I got here, huh? Wanting to keep me out of the loop so I don't know anything, like always? Hydra is after me and both of you are plotting against me just like them!"

Don't tell her anything. She can't know. She can't know-not yet-not now-now-now-tell her now! Trust her, you've always been able to trust her-Bucky-Bucky-

I don't know where Bucky is, where the hell is he? Europe? Maybe somewhere cold? Warm? I have to help-help-help her. Helping her is the only way, but she can't know-she can't know the truth-I'm sorry-

"What the hell are you keeping from me?!" she yelled, barring her teeth as she pushed him away with a heaving breath because he was a super soldier like her, his strength mirrored hers, his probably better too. 

They were all keeping secrets from her and she could feel every single one begin to push and prod at her brain as his skin hummed against her.

New York-New York-destroyed-we destroyed our homes-people's homes! Loki helped kill us-people died-Ultron-dead-dead-dead-

They found me in ice-Peggy Carter-one last dance-I can't tell her the truth. She can't know about me, she can't know about the past, keep the secret, no one can tell her. Stark shouldn't have created Ultron-Vision-Vision has a home here. Ice-ice-they found me in ice. Seventy years ago I lost my best friends-my friends are all dead and she's here-she's back-she doesn't remember-

No, she hissed to herself, feeling her mind whirling with the thoughts he couldn't hide. No, no, no.

Torrance stumbled back, shaking her head. "Keep your thoughts and memories to yourself, stop giving them to me. I don't want to know shit about the perfect little solider who won't help."

"I'm sorry I can't help you," Steve said slowly, his face still kind. "I don't know where Bucky is and if I did? I would tell you, help you protect him. But I can't help someone who doesn't want to be found."

Torrance breathed heavily, hands balled into tight fists as she glowered at him. 

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 

"If you're so sorry, then tell me what you're hiding. What aren't you telling me?" she whispered as Steve ran a hand through his perfect blonde hair. "What are you both hiding from me?"

Fury was the first to speak, talking to her in a reassuring voice that seemed unbelievably fake, "We aren't hiding anything, I only addressed the matter to him that I was concerned with your vendetta to save Anastasia when you know absolutely nothing about her besides some loose old articles and the tapes. Not to mention you never even finished all of the tapes."

"Are you at all curious about her? Where she's been this whole time?"

"Not really," Fury admitted. "I'd be worried if she was openly killing people, but she hasn't been seen for years. She's good as dead."

"Then explain why Hydra agents are crawling out from the woodwork to try and kill me because I knew about her?" she countered back, hoping this make him rethink his argument. "Why would one break into my home and try and kill me because of just a few random tapes I listened too?"

"Just forget about her," Fury said after a beat that left Torrance's blood pumping furiously through her red hot veins. 

Forget her like the rest of the world? Forget about her like she was nothing?

"Fine," she lied, nodding to the two men before apologizing and storming out of the room. Little did the two know she would just return home and begin to research what really was going on. 

~

The apartment was cold when Torrance returned, feeling drained from the day and from the events. She peeled her coat off and inspected the graze on her arm, noticing it finally had begun to heal. Her face was still tender from the aggressive blows from Sasha, but she knew those would heal in time like the graze. Just a few more hours and she would look just like she did before Sasha's attack. She hung her coat up and looked around at her mess, there was still blood on the floor and broken glass scattered across dangerously waiting for her to step on barefoot in the middle of the night. 

She went to her sink, grabbing a washcloth and the bottle of bleach she kept underneath the sink to scrub at the mess and pray she can get the deep shade of red out of her hardwood floors. She got on her hands and knees, sopping up soapy blood and watching the color fade into a dull stain as she then scrubbed with bleach that made the stain only duller. 

When she thought the blood was cleaned and removed enough, she got out her broom and dust pan to brush glass shards away and toss them in the trash and away from any bare feet. She looked around, her window still open and bringing cold air inside so she crossed the room to close it, frowning as she noticed scratch marks outside on her window pane, like someone had been trying to get in for days now. 

She ran her fingers over the marks, some of them not even a week old, others were carved and deep like someone had been trying for months to pry the window open with small greedy hands. The thought of Hydra watching her for months made her uneasy so she swallowed thickly and thought to herself, I really need a fucking drink.

When she was finally done with cleaning and scaring herself senseless with worried thoughts, she sat down with her laptop on one of the bar stools, a cup of scotch freshly poured into a cool glass rested tightly in her hand. There was a knock at the door and she smiled, "Come in!"

Santiago sauntered in with his computer, smiling when he said, "Ready for a research party?"

"Hell yeah."

He sat down next to her, but not before pouring himself a drink. He even took the liberty to go through her fridge and bring out the salsa she'd gotten as a sorry excuse for an apology. He sat back in his chair and stared at her until she stared back as he explained himself with a growing grin, "Got some news from the streets about Hydra."

"What about?"

"How some weird people with brief cases went around asking people about not only just you but about the Winter Soldier. Said they were with Hydra and of course my sources didn't believe them, but it's no coincidence that Hydra agents are going around the side streets and back allies looking for answers from some of the people who see and hear the most," he told her, taking a long sip from his drink.  

"What did they want about Barnes?"

"You're seriously not going to ask why they want you but about the soldier?" he laughed before shrugging and saying, "Wanted to know his location, find people who know about him so they could find out where he is basically. They mentioned Anastasia, which I found odd but not too odd, and turns out they want Barnes to kill her because they're afraid she'll kill them all first." He reached out and grabbed a handful of chips, dunking them into the salsa as if he hadn't eaten all day.

"Ana is dead, at least that's what Fury keeps telling me," she scowled. "Can't Hydra's agents just kill her themselves? Why drag Barnes into it?"

"Probably to get him back," Santiago shrugged, taking another sip from his glass. "They lost him over a year ago, they probably just want him back so he can continue to do their dirty work...or maybe they want him to lure the Avengers back in. They've been off doing their own things for a while now, maybe Hydra just wants a reason to bring them closer so eliminate them once and for all."

"Doesn't sound like that crazy of an idea," she sighed. "But why even bother with all that? No one is going to go after them, the only Avenger in the country in Steve Rogers, at least that's the only one I can think of off the top of my head-"

"Wanda Maximoff is still here."

Torrance stayed silent.

"Also heard some news that Tony Stark is coming back into town later tonight, could mean something bigger if suddenly they all come crawling back to the fold, right?"

She nodded. "I should bring this up to Fury tomorrow, get his opinion-which I doubt he'll agree to anything like an actual investigation-but if he has the thought in his head that something's not right, maybe he'll do something later about it." 

Tipping back his glass and downing the rest of its contents, Santiago wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he asked her, "So, how was your meeting with Steve? Everything you ever hoped for and more?"

She shook her head, brows furrowing at her anger from earlier. "He's hiding something from me, I got a glimpse at his thoughts and they kept screaming at me things like 'she can't know, she can't know the truth' and a starting one 'she's back and she doesn't remember." She rubbed her forehead, looking at her friend with more confusion than ever. "What the hell could that even mean? I'm back and I don't remember? What don't I remember?"

"You know what I'm going to say--"

"Yeah and don't say it--"

"You need to see her, Torrance. You need to find out what you're missing."

She shoved her face into her hands, groaning, "I don't want to know! But if this keeps going the way I think it's going to go, then I probably have to finally see her, don't I?"

He nodded, giving her a reassuring look. "How bad could it all be, Tor? It's just some missing time, it's not the end of the world."

She nodded back, giving him a soft smile. "I'll look into her, maybe try for a meeting later this week, maybe in three days? Like on Friday? I'll make sure to give you all of the details-"

"Don't rush into it," he said to her. "I know this was something you never wanted, so ease into it. You never know what you'll find hidden in that head of yours."

~

She stood outside Fury's office the next day, a little nervous to go inside but it was Wednesday and she alway made it a plan to speak to him of every Wednesday morning, it was sort of their thing. She was mainly worried about what he'd say to her idea of what's going on behind the scenes, how Hydra is trying to kill the Avengers off by using the help of Bucky Barnes. How Hydra wants him to kill Anastasia before she kills them and thwarts their plans to take out the Avengers, the worlds mightiest heroes. 

So with a smile, she pushed her way into his office, "Ready for a chat?"

"You can't keep doing this, Avery," Fury said from behind his desk, already irritated with her and probably still irritated with her from yesterday's meeting with Steve Rogers. She'd been rude and, she'll admit, a little crazy. "I don't have the time or the patience, you can't keep barging in when I have work to do."

She paused, curious and only a little concerned. She wondered what was going through his brain, was he still mad? Was he messing around with her? All she knew was the gut feeling that told her that this would not be the type of conversation to go her way. So with a brilliant smile that hid her worry she spoke her next words with no nerves at all.

"What do you mean, I can't come and see you anymore?"

____________

we are finally getting the AFTER the next chapter!!!! let me know what you guys think so far :)