Fabian could indeed see daylight at the top of the staircase and soon realized it led to an opening that was blocked by a metal grate. The holes in the grate were large enough for a cat to slip through, but much too narrow for them to follow. A quick push revealed that the grate was locked.

"Force that grate for me, will you, Scrote?"

Brandon grunted as he pushed at the grate as hard as he could, but it wouldn't budge.

"You're really overrated in the strength department, you know that? I hired you to be the muscle in this operation and you're not doing a very good job. We'll have to take that into consideration when we discuss your share of the payout from this little endeavor. In the meantime I suppose I'm going to have to figure this out myself as usual. Now where the heck is the locking mechanism on this thing?"

He studied the grate intently. It was so encrusted with dirt and grime that it was difficult to determine where it was locked at, but he eventually discovered a small keyhole. He fiddled at it for a few minutes with his dagger and it eventually clicked. The grate swung easily open and Fabian pulled himself out of the hole.

"Ah, it's nice to breathe some fresh air again," Fabian said as he stretched out his limbs.

"It smells like you could use a bath even more than normal, you ugly excuse for a man," Druvidia said as she suddenly materialized in front of him.

Fabian jumped in surprise in spite of himself. "For the love of Balthazaar, where the hell did you come from?"

"I told you you hadn't seen the last of me," the spirit of the dryad said. "I sensed your presence the moment you set foot back on the surface. How fare you on your quest, young Brandon?"

"It's been kind of rough. My whole crew is either dead or still wandering somewhere down in that dungeon. I feel like a little bit of a failure as a captain."

"A little bit? More like a complete failure. That's why I should have been captain from the getgo. This never would have happened on my watch."

"You probably would have killed them all yourself while they slept and robbed them blind, you nasty little worm," Druvidia said.

"Anyway we're pretty sure Oogums came out here. You didn't happen to see him, did you?" Brandon asked hopefully.

"No, I teleported here as soon as I sensed your arrival. I haven't seen the cat which you seek."

"Where are we anyway?" Brandon asked as he looked around. They were in a large green field sparsely dotted with trees and a few small hills. "Are we still in the enchanted forest?"

"No, it lies a few miles to the east of here. My powers grow weaker the further I get from my forest, but we are still close enough that I can accompany you and provide what aid I may."

"But you're saying if we get far enough from your stupid forest you can't follow?" Fabian asked. "And we don't have to go underground to ditch you? This is excellent news. So where exactly are we?"

"You are just across the border in the kingdom of Danvory."

"Never heard of the place. Must be some little backwater kingdom with nothing of interest to recommend it. Let's retrieve the cat and blow this joint before the boringness of this place sticks to us."

"Uh, guys?" Brandon pulled on Fabian's sleeve. "What's that?"

"What's what?" Fabian said as he turned around. He suddenly found that his face was inches away from the face of a rotting decrepit animated corpse. Large chunks of flesh were missing from its face and one eyeball dangled out precariously from its socket. It was also making a concentrated effort at biting Fabian's neck.

Fabian attempted to shove it away, but his arms merely pushed through the creature's body, which was not unlike the consistency of pudding. It continued to snap at his neck with its exposed teeth as Fabian attempted to extract his arms from the disgusting putrid body in which they were firmly lodged. "For crying out loud, a little help here, Scrote?"

"Oh yeah, sorry, sir," Brandon said as he swung his cutlass at the abomination. He managed to lop off one of its arms but it continued in its efforts to bite out Fabian's jugular, which it was just barely missing due to Fabian's frantic wiggling and waggling of his head.

"That didn't seem to do too much," Brandon said as he scratched his head.

"Stab it in the brain, you idiot! Don't you know anything?"

"Right. The brain. Yes, sir." Brandon closed one eye and stuck the tip of his tongue out of the corner of his mouth as he tried to line up a good shot.

The creature snapped its teeth again and Fabian could feel its hot slobber splatter across his neck as it missed by the merest fraction of an inch. "For fuck's sake, Scrote! Precision isn't necessary here. Just whack this thing in the head as hard as you can with the sharp end of your sword!"

"Got it, sir. Understood." He swung the cutlass and buried it deep into the creature's head. It instantly collapsed to the ground and stopped moving.

Fabian was finally able to extricate his arms from the semi-liquified body. They were completely soaked in blood and bits of rotten organs. He walked over and immediately began rubbing his arms on Brandon to clear off the gore.

"What was that thing?" Brandon asked.

"That was a zombie. You don't want to get bitten by one of those things or they'll turn you into one of them."

"You mean they're contagious?" Brandon said as he looked at the blood that Fabian had smeared all over him.

"Yeah, but only if they bite you. Or I guess maybe if you ingest their bodily fluids. Don't lick yourself anytime soon, just in case."

"Where do zombies come from?" Brandon asked.

"How the hell should I know? Some desperate loser probably made love to an orc and caught a nasty disease. Either that or I'll blame my old standby. Wizards. Stupid wizards."

"If they're contagious, do you think there could be more of those things around?"

"Yeah, probably. Now that I think about it that broad at the adventurer's guild mentioned something about a zombie outbreak nearby. This must be the place she was talking about. Remind me not to visit the kingdom of Danvory again anytime soon. Not only is it boring, but it's got a zombie infestation. Speaking of which, tree wench!"

"Yes?" Druvidia asked.

"You were pretty damn useless during that whole ordeal. I'm assuming you're immune to zombies, what with the fact that you're already dead and everything. Why don't you make yourself useful and scout around and see if there are any more of those things lurking around anywhere? The last thing we need is another one sneaking up on us like that one did."

"I do not take orders from you, you ugly buffoon," Druvidia said.

"Fine. Then do it for the kid. You seem to like him for some reason. Pedophilia maybe? I don't know. At any rate, you don't want to see him turned into a zombie, do you?"

"Very well," Druvidia said. "I will do it for the noble Brandon. As for you, you can munch on rotten zombie buttocks for all I care."

"Chicks," Fabian said with a shake of his head after Druvidia had disappeared. "They're all nuts. That's exactly why you hit it and quit it, Scrote. Not that you'd know anything about that. Remind me to take you to a brothel after this is all over and we'll get your cherry popped. The cost of which will, of course, come out of your salary. I think it's only fair that you treat me to a prostitute as well, but we'll discuss that later. For now, we're in a boring empty field with a few trees. If you were a cat, where would you go?"

"Uh, I'd probably climb one of the trees?" Brandon said.

"That's just what I was thinking. So we'd better climb some trees and check. Why don't you take that skinny little tree over there with the flimsy branches that look like they might snap under the weight of a baby? In the meantime I'll climb this big sturdy oak with the nice footholds and solid branches. If the cat isn't in one of these trees, we'll regroup here and try some of the trees that are farther out."

"You got it, sir," Brandon said with a salute as he took off toward his tree.

Fabian began scaling his tree and almost instantly saw a tuft of white fur stuck to one of the lower branches. "Hmm. If I play my cards right, maybe I can grab the fleabag, ditch the kid and the tree ghost, and hightail it back to town and claim the full reward for myself. Things just might work out well for old Fabes."

He climbed up to the next branch and spotted a big plump white cat licking itself casually.

"Here kitty kitty. Nice kitty. Come to your uncle Fabian so he can get himself paid."

The cat let out a loud hiss and scratched Fabian across the nose before leaping up to the next branch.

"You lousy, mangy furball," Fabian said as he put his hand on his face. "You're lucky you're worth more to me alive or I'd strangle you right now with my bare hands. Now get over here."

He climbed up to the next branch whereupon the cat immediately scratched him again, this time catching him across the throat. It then jumped up to yet another higher branch.

"You think you're pretty clever, huh? It'll be a cold day in hell before some vermin like you outsmarts me. We're almost to the top of the tree. There's nowhere else for you to go. It's only a matter of time before I catch you."

The cat suddenly sprang forward and landed on Fabian's head, which it then used as a springboard to drop down to a lower branch.

"Okay, I'll grant you, I didn't see that coming. But we all know this is only going to end one way, so why don't you make things easier on everyone and just come to me?"

The cat made its way to the main tree trunk and began scootching back down towards the ground.

"You won't escape me that easily," Fabian muttered. "Luckily I'm known for my acrobat-like agility." He let go of the branch he was holding and dropped nimbly to the ground. He tucked his body into a roll and leaped back to his feet in one fluid motion. "Damn, that was pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. How come no one's ever around to witness when I pull off a cool maneuver like that?"

He glanced around to look for the cat. He spotted it quickly, but unfortunately there was a large man bending over to pick it up. It instantly nuzzled itself into his arms and began purring loudly.

"Excuse me, sir," Fabian called out. "I believe you have my cat."

"I believe you're mistaken," the man replied without looking over. "This cat belongs to the countess of Braithvale, who happens to be a close personal friend of mine. She has been out of her mind with worry and I have spent the last few days tirelessly looking for her beloved pet so that I might put her mind at ease."

"Look, pal, I don't know who this countess is you're talking about, but that's my cat. We've been on a lot of adventures together and I've grown rather fond of him. Now hand it over."

"Why don't you make me?" the man said as he turned to face Fabian. He stood easily over seven feet tall and was covered with scars and tattoos. With a sudden sinking feeling, Fabian realized that this guy looked unsettlingly familiar.

A similar look of recognition crossed the man's face. "You! I've been looking for you ever since you escaped my grasp back in Lannisburg! Nobody crosses Balooga the Mighty and gets away with it! Prepare to have your testicles torn from your body and shoved down your throat, you filthy maggot!"

Fabian let out a loud gulp and turned tail and ran.