We'd broken up. Cedric and I. I shouldn't have been surprised- How else could it have ended, with me being one the Selected, and yesterday's argument? But today, for the first time ever, Cedric had come to my house and hadn't even spoken to me. He had knocked on the door, and spoken to Remus loudly enough for me to hear from my room.

"Sorry for the inconvenience, Sir." still so polite, he was. But his voice trembled. "I would just like to ask you to give a message to Harry for me." his voice was definitely breaking.

"I can go get him if you'd like." Remus began, but then stopped, as Cedric's face visibly crumpled.

"No, don't. Just... Tell him... He no longer needs to come to the treehouse. He'll-" his voice caught. "He'll get it."

Then Cedric left. Remus looked mystified but walked towards my room. Quickly, I pretended not to have heard anything, and flopped on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, pretending I was asleep. it was night, so was what I should have been doing.

But as soon as Remus came in, I sat up.

"Yes?" I asked, trying to play it off. I didn't know why I wanted to hear it from Remus. I guess if it was told to me, it would seem more real. But I didn't want it to sound real...

"Cedric told me to tell you..." he swallowed, and I could see the pain in his eyes. "'Not to come to the treehouse again.', but I don't know what that means. Care to enlighten me?" he asked. I could tell it was a real question, not a real order.

I shook my head. "I... I'd love to, but I just... I need to digest it." I whispered, and he nodded.

"When you're ready, tell me." he smiled and shut the door softly. With a flash< I realized he probably knew exactly how I was feeling- Except, without the Selection part. That thought should have been comforting, but it wasn't. It just meant humans were stupid enough to let history repeat itself.

Remus, of course, was still mad at me. Disappointed. But... He compartmentalized. He was mad because of one thing and didn't let it drag to another. I appreciated that more than I could tell him. I appreciated them, more than I could admit. Remus and Sirius. They'd done things that my parents couldn't. Yes, maybe it wasn't their fault that they were dead. But... Suddenly, I felt rage fill up my lungs.

"Why aren't you here, Dad? Mom? Why aren't you here? I need you. I'm meant to be able to rely on you guys, and confide in you, or whatever. Why didn't you stay? Why'd you have to go?" Sobs wracked my body, even though I was shouting. I wasn't angry at them. How could I? I was taking out my frustration on my old, faded pillow, as I punched and kicked at it.

It felt apart. Immediately, I felt guilty, We wouldn't have enough money to get a new one, and we'd have to clean up the feathers- Some had flown higher than where I could reach.

Then I realized that in a couple of days, this wouldn't be my pillow. This wouldn't be my bed. There would be pillows at the palace, better, bigger beds.

As soon as I thought that, I felt like a turncoat.

No. The things at the palace wouldn't be mine. The things here were mine and had always been. I couldn't forget that. The Selection couldn't change who I was... Could it? And I was going to try to come back as soon as I could... Right?

Suddenly, a thought paralyzed me. I didn't have a reason to come back, except for Remus and Sirius. But with me gone, it was one less mouth to feed.

I mean, it was less income, but I never made much anyway.

Of course, then I banished the thought. Of course, I had to come back. This was my home- I had to come back, didn't I?

The palace can become your home, the treacherous voice in my mind muttered.

The doubt stayed with me, though, as I fell asleep, and throughout the next day, which was only three days before I had to leave. I didn't know why everything had to move so quickly, but I was holding onto my life as I knew it with all I had.

***

The day came. I had nothing to pack, or so I thought. But then, I caught sight of the jar with all of the pennies. In a fit of rage, I walked over to it. For the first time, I thought of what Cedric had said in a different way. Yes, I had cried about it. But... Now I was angry. He didn't even have the courage to come up to me and break up with me face-to-face.

I contemplated giving the pennies back, throwing them to his face, but he'd probably just take it as money and spend it like I should have done. Instead, I decided to hide it somewhere for Sirius and Remus to find, so that it could be a lovely surprise. An apology for the other night. I knew it wasn't enough... But it was all I could do.

So, I emptied out the jar, feeling the chink of pennies against one another. How could this be? Each penny had a different memory attached to it. I looked at one that had a slight nick in the side, unnoticeable to anyone who wasn't looking for it. That was when Cedric had thrown one at me, and I hadn't caught it. The only time it had happened. He'd laughed and went to get it, but it had been scratched by the tree.

Another one. A little less shiny than the rest. This was because he'd found it in the floorboard of his house, and he took it as a good luck charm. So, he gave it to me with a line about me being his good luck charm.

All those memories, gone. Before I could think twice, I threw them all over the side of the window. Somehow, it was easier to stomach a stranger using that, than Sirius or Remus.

When I moved the jar back to the recesses of my room, I heard something within it. Confused, I looked at it, already regretting the emptiness. Why had I done that? I knew that... We were over, but...

My heart shattered once more as I looked. There was a lone penny. Just one, sticking stubbornly to the bottom. Just like how thoughts of him kept on infiltrating my heart. It hadn't been that long, so I hadn't expected myself to be done with it, but... I hadn't expected that it would still be a fresh wound.

It was.

With a broken sob, I scraped the penny out and held it to my heart.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I didn't know who I was talking to. Cedric, me, my parents, Sirius, Remus... I had a lot of people to apologize to.

I tucked the penny into my pocket. I couldn't let go of him completely. Not yet. Possibly not ever. Even the prince of Illéa, whose heart I had to allegedly yearn for, couldn't compare to who I had lost.

but I needed to concentrate on getting to the palace. Maybe I could prove my worth to Cedric by showing him that I didn't want the prince or the crown. I wanted him. How could I do that?

Well, I'd have to take part in the stupid Selection... But maybe I could try and get eliminated. And when I got back, I could promise Cedric that I had done it on purpose. That Draco's molten silver eyes were pale in comparison to the beauty of his eyes that caged a storm, and his breathtaking smile made Draco's seem faux and phony.

I wanted to tell him that now. But I knew he wouldn't listen. He really believed it was my fault that I'd applied and gotten through. It wouldn't do any good for me to remind him, again, that he'd been the one who had wanted the extra money.

A lump rose in my throat, but I busied myself by saying my goodbyes.

"Whatever you do, we won't love you any less." Sirius hugged me close, and, then Remus joined.

"Just remember... It's okay to let go." Remus smiled, and Sirius looked at him confusedly. I guessed that Remus hadn't told Sirius about Cedric and I. For that I was grateful.

I looked up into their faces, sad, but hopeful. Hopeful, but shattered. Shattered, but eager. I loved them for it. "I'll miss you." was all I could choke out.

Then there was a knock, but not a polite one. More like a warning before our door was shot down.

I gritted my teeth. Pricks. Quickly, I opened the door, before anything could happen. I knew who it would be, but I still felt a stirring in my stomach as soldiers in full military uniform, and guards with the royal coat of arms embroidered on their uniforms. Why had soldiers come to escort me? What did they expect- I'd get shot?

I took a last, quick, goodbye to my house, the people and things inside it, and the old life it contained. All traces of it now were the clothes on my back and the penny tucked into my pocket. That was it.

I didn't know where exactly we were walking to, but I knew better to ask.

Suddenly, I heard a shout.

"Harry!" an unfamiliar voice. Then another. Then another.

And we rounded a corner, we were greeted by... A lot of people. I couldn't even fathom how many, but they were lining the street, and I could see, in the distance, a high-end car that was shining with wealth.

But that wasn't important.

What was important was the fact that there were people gathered here, whom I didn't know, but were shouting my name, waving signs, and smiling.

"Move along." one of the men at my side shouted at me above the noise. It was only then that I realized that I'd stopped to stare. But I couldn't walk quickly. I needed to appreciate the fact that people had shown up to wish me well. People had shown up to wish me well. My plan of intentionally doing badly in the Selection was crumbling. People were counting on me.

Someone asked for my autograph, and before anyone could stop me, I was signing the little girl's piece of paper. Suddenly, pens and paper were being thrust at me. All of these peoples faces were dirty- Fives, I realized. They were rooting for me because I was a Five. That thought should have done something to the joy I was feeling, but it didn't. I was their hope.

So, I signed every single one of the papers, smiling so large that I couldn't stop.

When I finally got to the end of the line, the men surrounding me were getting angry, but I didn't care. Those people's smiles were worth it.

Then, I noticed, for the first time, the people that were standing here. Young men, just like me.

The competition.

Immediately, I saw Ron's red hair, and I walked up to him.

"Hey." I smiled, and he nodded in greeting, but I could tell his focus was on the others.

There were three of us here, not including myself. I assumed this was only from around here, and that was true. But then my day got so much worse because Dudley came into view. He was wearing much nicer clothes- Definitely a Two. I didn't know why he was here, though. Twos lived very far away.

"What're you doing here, Potter?" he asked, and I wondered why he was calling me by my last name. Did he think it was an insult or something? His hulking frame blocked Ron from my view, but I could tell that he was sympathetic.

"I could ask the same of you." I retorted. Wasn't the smartest response, but judging from the way he took a step forward, it made him mad.

"You're a sick git. Making the crowds happy just because you know you can't win on your own." he snarled, and I pushed down my temper. I knew, from the sheer amount of times that I'd heard it, that as soon as another candidate for the Selection physically hurt another, they were out. So hopefully, I could goad him into hurting me, so he would be disqualified before the Selection began. I was still hurt, though. Could anyone really think that my smile for the crowd wasn't genuine? Until now, I didn't realize just how cutthroat this was going to be.

"Jealous, because nobody bothered to turn up for you?" my face was turning red with anger. Hopefully, he wouldn't think it was due to fright.

He took another step, but then the driver of the car honked, getting our attention. He spoke with an accent, but I didn't notice, because of what he said next.

"We must go now. Stop waiting around. Before you ask where I can assure you that it is safe. We're going to get you onto a private jet, and then to the palace." his voice was... assured. Self-assured. That was the word. But it should have sounded kind, based upon the words that he was saying. But he sounded bored as if he had to say this every single day. As if he didn't give a damn about us.

That was my first realization that we weren't special. To the people, maybe, but to the palace workers... We were just more guests.

It wasn't as if I'd gone my entire life thinking I was, in fact, something special- Quite the contrary. But I had, for some reason, thought that there was a chance of today being slightly different.

I got in, and even though I tried to sit next to Ron, I was sitting next to the other two- Dudley and another guy, who I hadn't been paying attention to. He had the same build as Cedric, and that thought made me clench my fists around the penny, and try not to cry. I guessed that he just played Quidditch. he had quite light brown hair, and dark brown, chocolatey eyes. I introduced myself, and he responded in kind.

"I'm Oliver... Oliver Wood." his voice was quiet, but it carried. I smiled, and asked him how he was. He stayed quiet, giving me a smile to indicate that he was fine, but then he turned away and looked out of the window.

Not one to talk, then. That was fine with me. I wanted to turn around and talk to Ron, who was sitting behind me, but the atmosphere in the car was so tense that I just closed my eyes and waited until we got to the airport. I'd never flown in a plane before, but I'd heard about it from others.

Before long, I'd drifted off to a mercifully dream-free sleep.