The warm scent of baked goods wafted to my nose as I stared hungrily at the kitchen. my sleeves were rolled up; hands grimy with dirt as I chopped logs for the fire that we were going to have for the New Year celebration, which was only around... Probably... Four days away? Sirius and Remus- my adoptive parents- had been abnormally stressed, and though I tried to assure them that I could do all the heavy lifting and such for the preparations, they had been constantly fretting that it wouldn't be enough. That the small number of relatives who were coming over would be disappointed.

I rolled my eyes at their foolish thinking; even if they were disappointed, who cared? They wouldn't have enough of a spine to tell it to our faces, because, well, it was our house the party was at.

I wiped the sweat from my brow and stood, surveying my handiwork. I remembered the times before my father and mother died. When I used to sit and read, for goodness sakes. I used to dream of becoming a scholar; had never so much as lifted a log in my life. My father had done it all, and I hadn't realized, as the only other man in the house, that I should have helped. Should have learned when I could. But being the stupid fool I was, I lived with my parchment and quills, books and fantasies.

But then that fateful day came when my father was burned at stake for being a wizard. My mother almost got away- but that's what my life was. A weave of maybes. When my mother and father died, they said things to me that I would forever hold dear to my heart. They had to entrust me with things that they didn't want to- they thought I was far too young. But my father's last words to me were- and I still don't think I deserved that honor, but they were. "I love you, take care of yourself. Do what I could not."

And so I had fled. I wanted to think that if I had been slightly older and more in control, I would have stayed and fought alongside them, but I wasn't sure. I knew that most of the times, I was a coward at best, a fool at worst.

I sighed, and shook my head, clearing that kind of thoughts. Now I had to do the work, and I had to be happy about it. I deemed the logs chopped enough, and went inside, washing my hands and then sitting at the old, dilapidated table.

I knew my mother had been pretty, perhaps even beautiful, in her youth. And, as I remembered vaguely when my father was alive as well. More than that, she had been happy. Or she seemed it, anyway. But then, of course, everything changed when she died, and all that was left with was pain and sorrow. So I dealt with it. What else was there to do?

So, my mother used to be pretty. She'd had auburn, almost brown hair, with penetrating green eyes. My dad once told me, as a joke, that I had been scared of her at first because of her eyes. It had been good then. Just me, my mother, and my father.

Until it wasn't.

Which was precisely when things descended into bedlam.

The result of said bedlam was the death of a few things. The death of my parents, and the death of my innocence. But I felt like I deserved what I had to do. If I had fought alongside my father and mother before... if I hadn't been such a coward... Maybe then I would have...

I knew I shouldn't think like that. It would do nothing but leave me feeling helpless and alone.

Remus emerged suddenly, holding a steaming tray. I inhaled deeply... It smelt divine. Bread. My head snapped up. I knew we couldn't afford yeast. So how the hell...?

"Where did you get them?" I asked, my gaze sharpening on the way his eyes dropped. He knew I was referring to the ingredients; talking about the yeast. And the flour. And everything else required to make bread.

"I... Bought them." he murmured but I knew him far too well.

"Remus, tell the truth."

"What does it matter?" I asked, but I saw him look away, lips trembling.

"You stole it, didn't you? The yeast, and the... Remus, what else did you steal?" my tone really wasn't meant to be accusing, but it turned out that way.

"Look, I, just be grateful for what we have, okay?" Remus scrubbed a hand over his face. "It doesn't matter how I made the bread, nor what ingredients were required."

"'Ello, Harry!" Sirius strode into the room, oblivious, as always, to the tense atmosphere. He walked in, smiling to me, then turned to Remus. "How are you, Moony? I missed you."

Remus' entire face lit up, even as he rolled my eyes. "You've only been gone an hour, Pads."

"An hour too long." Sirius kissed him on the cheek, then turned to me. "Now, what's I hear about you not being appreciative of the bread?"

I fidgeted. Sirius was usually so cheerful, but sometimes, his demeanor slipped. "I... Do appreciate it. I was just... Nothing. May I have some?" I finished off as demurely as I could, and after a glance between Sirius and Remus, they nodded. I couldn't understand how two people could be in love- at least, I could not until I met Cedric.

They served me some, and I took a moment to just watch. We never got bread- Especially new, fresh bread. It was always something moldy and hard, not at all like the bread we saw in the hands of the level Threes, or even Fours, when we passed them by.

Or, rather, when they passed us by. Sirius, Remus, and I were Fives. Cedric was a Six.

We'd been dating in secret for over two years- Of course, it was completely frowned upon. Her being in a lower caste, I meant. We were meant to marry up, not down. In my darkest hours, I thought how much easier it was for him- He was abiding the laws, marrying up. But the law didn't realize that if someone were to marry up... The other person was marrying down.

The law was stupid.

And so, I paid that law no heed.

I ate about half of the piece I was given, and the rest I tucked into my shirt. For a moment, I mourned that the shirt was filthy, and so the bread would not remain pristine, but then I quickly stood up and walked away, pretending to be done.

Checking my clock, I realized it was time, and smiled excitedly. Soundlessly, I made my way to the window and climbed over it, to a small tree, which I climbed.

And there, in all his tentative glory, was Cedric. He had dark hair that he didn't like to keep long, and grey eyes that penetrated my soul, seeking out all the insecurities there, and loving me for them anyway. But what really made me fall in love with him on sight was his smile. He was known for being kind, and overall, a nice person, but his smile... That smile was especially for me, when we'd talk about our futures, and what we'd do if we had enough money to... Well, we hadn't gotten that far yet. But what we'd do with money.

He was a Six. It shouldn't have mattered. But it did. He wanted to be a sportsman, but he couldn't. He had to do servant work, and such. It didn't matter that he was so, so much better than that. It was him who'd encouraged me to pursue other things than be an artist of sorts- As a Five, we were meant to do the Arts. But secretly, I'd always loved sports, and parchments, in comparison.

Cedric... Cedric was the most compassionate person I knew. Perhaps not the most intelligent, but he was the one person I could fully trust. Sure, I didn't know many people, but I was certain, if I met anyone, anyone in the world- Even the prince of Illéa- Draco, he was called, of the Malfoy name- he would not be as kind, as compassionate, as giving, as Cedric was. He couldn't portray that kindness, though. Not in his daily life, not in his work. He had to be a hardened servant, through and through. Why? Because he was a caste below me.

It was stupid, but I could do nothing.

I climbed up and handed him the bread. He shook his head quickly, though I could see his eyes tracking the piece. He was hungry.

"You have it." He whispered, his throat clearly dry.

"I already had some," I whispered back, throwing it to him. By reflex, he caught it. As soon as it was in his hand, I suspected he would not be able to resist the sweet smell, and I was right.

In a minute or less, it was gone.

"Thank you." He cast his eyes downwards after a while, and my heart shattered. Quickly, I tilted his face upwards.

"We'll make It, you and I. In a few years, we'll be married. We'll have our own bread- Won't have to take anyone else's." I promised, and he believed me- That was the way it had always been. The only thing we could hold onto was a dream. Our dream. And we knew we were going to make it a reality.

I could tell that was what he had needed to hear, because he sighed contentedly, and buried his face in my shoulder. We sat like that for a while, silently. Then, he gave me a penny. It had been our tradition- Every time Cedric could, he gave me a penny when we met. And every time I could, I gave him food when we met. It wasn't a barter system or anything. It was just a gift exchange.

I told him otherwise, but I hadn't spent a single penny. I was sure Sirius and Remus could use them; we could all use them. But I put them all in a jar, and hid the jar safely, though I didn't know why I couldn't bear to spend any one of them.

Not a single one.

Every time I stashed one, I felt incredibly guilty, because I knew Cedric couldn't afford it- Not really, and because I knew that our family needed it.

But I guessed that was what I was. A selfish person.

When I crept into the house again, predictably, everybody was fast asleep, Remus and Sirius not even questioning if I was back or not. Had they even known that I had left? Sometimes, I thought they had far too must of trust in me, but who was I to judge?

I put the penny in the jar, hearing the satisfying sound as it hit the numerous others. I never slept well, always had nightmares, but whenever I got to see Cedric, they hounded me a little less... But they still did hound me. Such as tonight... When I fell asleep, my mind was filled with images.

I dreamed of my parents, fighting, screaming, at each other, at me. Wishing that I was dead, wishing that I had taken their place...

I woke up gasping for air, almost crushing my glasses that had somehow gotten into my hands, from where I'd put them on the table next to my bed last night. My lighting scar was throbbing unmercifully, and I held my forehead in pain.

Suddenly, Sirius' frantic voice awoke me further. "Harry, come into the kitchen, now!"

Worried, I hurried to where I was, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.