I woke up with my head on Tristan's chest while one of my legs were wrapped around his waist. I slowly lifted my head off his chest and sat up carefully, trying not to wake him up. Hinatak ko ang kumot when I realized I was wearing nothing but panties. But he was fully clothed. I remembered what happened last night. I drank alot last night and I could barely walk pabalik sa room ko. Tristan saw me and carried to my room.  He stirred a little when he probably felt me pull the blanket. Nagulat ako ng gumalaw ang mga kamay niya and he wrapped it around my waist. He scooted closer to me at ipinatong ang ulo niya sa lap ko.

I stared at him for a moment. He looked so beautiful sleeping. I couldn't help but run my finger through his hair and admire him in his sleep. I used to always do that when we were still together. Gustong-gusto kong tinititigan siya habang natutulog. He actually looked even more handsome than before. His already sharp features became sharper and more define, and his body- Oh dear, his body was absolutely stunning. Just one look at him and I could tell that he's been working out, hard. 

No wonder madami kang nalolokong babae. Parang napaso ang kamay ko ng pumasok sa isip ko iyon at agad kong inilayo sa kanya. Nabuhay na naman ang galit ko. How could I let myself forget, even just for a minute, what he did to me? 

I was surprised when he took my hand and brought it to his lips. Tumingin ako sa kanya and his eyes were already open and they were looking at me. He slowly smiled at me. A lazy, sexy smile. 

"Ge-get off me." I said in a small voice before pushing his head away from my lap.

He sat up and looked at me with a wide grin on his face. "Did you really think Cassie is pregnant with my child?"

Hindi ako nakasagot. I couldn't think of anything good to say.

"Nagseselos ba ang mahal ko?" Malambing na sabi niya. Like the way he used to talk to me kapag nagseselos ako kay Valerie noon.

"Me? Jealous?" I laughed sarcastically. "Ang kapal ng mukha mo! Bakit naman ako magseselos?"

  "Because you still love me. Nararamdaman ko." 

I frowned at him. "Well, nagkakamali ka sa nararamdaman mo. I don't love you." 

"Really?" He flashed a naughty smile that made my heart skip a beat. 

"Tristan!" I shrieked in surprise when he grabbed my ankle and pulled me at napahiga ako sa kama. He was sitting in between my legs and he wrapped it around him, making our crotch touch. Kahit na may suot siyang pants I could feel his hardness pressing against me.Shit! I could feel my panties getting moist. My body wanted him badly, my whole body ached for him to fill me. No... no, no, no! This isn't supposed to be happening! I wiggled, trying to get away from him. Kinuha niya ang dalawang kamay ko gamit ang isang kamay niya ang pinned them above my head.

"Now, tell me you still love me." He leaned over, staring right into my eyes.

I tried to squirm out of his grip but he held me too tight. "I don't love you! I love my husband."

"I am your husband." 

"No, you aren't! Jason is my husband. Kasal ako sa kanya" Sigaw ko sa kanya.

"Sa batas, oo. Pero gusto kong ipaalala sa'yo na sa akin ka unang ikinasal. We made a vow before God." He said before kissing me on the forehead, and then the tip of my nose. "You don't love him, Andi. Ako ang mahal mo."

"No..." I said in a small, shaky voice.  

He pressed his lips to mine. "I love you, Andi..." He murmured against my lips. "Alam kong mahal mo pa rin ako. Please, say you love me too. I need to hear it from you."

I shook my head, keeping my lips tightly closed as he kiss me. No, I won't give him the satisfaction that he wants. I felt both his hands cup my bare breasts. He palmed and squeezed it. I fought really hard to keep my body from responding to his touch. But when he pinched my nipples, I totally lost it. I let out a moan and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue in my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. I once again, felt him rubbing his hardness against me. Oh God, I wanted him inside me so bad. I wanted him to fill me up so bad, stretch me. I wanted to feel his hot cum inside me again. Just imagining that made me even more wet.

He broked away from the kiss and looked into my eyes. "Sabihin mong mahal mo ako."

I shook my head again. Hate, yun ang dapat na maramdaman ko sa kanya. I don't want to end up falling in love with him again. That would be really stupid. I've learned already the hard way.

He lowered his head again to my breast. I felt his warm mouth around my hard nipple sucking it hard. I panted and cried his name. I wrapped my legs around him tighter, pressing him against me harder. I moved my hips up and down his hardness and I heared him groan against my breast. I wanted to protest and pull his head back to my chest when he stopped.

"Please, say it. Mahal, please say you love me." He begged, he sounded as if his life depended on it.  I froze for a few seconds. "Say it..." His fingers pinched my nipple.

"No..." Pabulong na sabi ko. I will never say what he wants to hear. He pinched it even harder and I let out a loud groan. I covered my breasts with my arms. "Stop it!" 

"I- I don't love you anymore. Kahit anong gawin mo hindi na kita mamahalin. Si Jason na ang mahal ko." I looked at him with hate in my eyes.  "Don't mistake this as love. This... this is just lust. No matter how many times we fuck, I will never love you again." Why does it hurt to say that? 

His eyes were clouded with sadness and I just have to look away because it hurts. I didn't want to him to see na nasasaktan din ako. I'm not supposed to feel this way. Hindi dapat ako masaktan.

He rolled off me and layed down beside me. Hindi siya nagsalita, he was just staring at the ceiling. He actually looked hurt. There was a long silence between us.

"Umalis ka na." I broked the silence. 

"Wala ka na ba talagang nararamdaman kahit konti para sa akin?" Puno ng lungkot ang boses niya. I almost couldn't take it. The pain in his voice kills me inside. 

"Wala na." I tried to sound matter of factly, as if it wasn't affecting me. I had to close my eyes really tight para hindi tumulo ang mga luha sa mata ko.

"Masaya ka ba sa kanya?" Tanong niya.

"Yes." I answered almost in a whisper.

"Kung masaya ka talaga sa kanya, pipilitin ko rin na maging masaya para sa'yo. Kahit na masakit. Hindi na kita guguluhin pakatapos nito." Sabi niya. My heart felt like it dropped in my stomach when he said those words. He turned his head to look at me. Hindi ko pa rin siya magawang tignan. "Pero pagbigyan mo sana ako, gusto kong makasama ka ng isang buong araw. Kalimutan mo muna natin na may asawa ka. Kalimutan natin ang nakaraan kahit ngayon lang. Just one day with you. That's all I ask." 

Pumayag ako sa gusto niya. I wanted to forget everything even just for a day. I didn't want anything to matter kahit ngayong araw lang. Just him and me. No past memories or anything.

Pinuntahan niya ako sa room ko pagkatapos kong mag-ayos. I found out his room was actually right next to mine.

"Ready?" Tanong niya sa akin when I opened the door.

I nodded my head. He took my hand in his and we began to walk out of the hotel. I missed this. I missed holding hands with him while we walk. I missed the warmth of his palm against mine. It brought me back to the old days when everything was simple. Back when I was happy and so madly in love with him before I knew the person he really was. But now everything's changed.

Sa itsura pa lang niya marami nang nagbago. He used to always wear ripped jeans and a simple white shirt. Now he wears expensive designer jeans, buttoned shirts and shoes worth so many hundreds. He left me for all these. He left me so he can live the life he wanted. Hindi siya nakuntento sa akin and what we had. I tried to ignore the heavy feeling in my chest. Ayoko munang isipin ang nakaraan. I don't want to ruin the moment.

Nahuli niya akong nakatingin sa kanya and he smiled at me. "Okay ka lang, mahal?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." Sagot ko.

"I can't believe this is happening." Nakangiting sabi niya. He looked at me and his eyes softened. "I never thought this would happen again. I never thought I'd have this moment with you. Thank you, Andi."

Inangat niya ang kamay ko na hawak niya and he kissed the back of my hand. He didn't take me to a fancy restaurant. Instead, he took me to one of those food stalls na nakahilera. There were chairs and tables set out on the pavement. Parang yung mga kinainan namin dati ni Tristan kapag tapos namin magsimba or gusto lang namin kumain sa labas. It brought back such bittersweet nostalgia.

He ordered our food and drinks. Iba nga lang ang mga street foods but it still tasted good.

"Naisipan kong dito ka dalhin kasi alam kong gustong-gusto mo kumakain sa mga ganito." He said while we were eating. Honestly, mas natutuwa pa nga akong dito niya ako dinala kaysa sa mga fancy restaurants. "Nagustuhan mo ba?"

"Of course! This is so good." I said while chewing. He just laughed. And then he took something out of his backpack. A camera. He started taking shots of me. 

"Tristan!" Saway ko sa kanya. I blocked the lense with my hand. Gosh! Hindi pa rin siya nagbabago. He used to always take stolen shots of me. Kahit bagong gising ako or even when I'm in my underwear.  I wonder if he still has those photos.

"Don't tell me you're still camera shy?" He said, laughing. "C'mon, you're a model." 

Inirapan ko siya. "Well... I don't pose for free!"

 "Dati, you only pose for me." Sabi niya. He was still smiling but his voice and his eyes were sad. "You were mine alone."

"Things are different now." Mahinang sabi ko.

"I know." He let out a forced chuckle. 

"Are you dating someone?" Tanong ko sa kanya. I just want to know. Bakit meron pala siyang girlfriend na hindi ko alam. I thought Cassie was his girlfriend or his casual fuck buddy.

"No, I'm single." 

"No, um... casual hookup?" 

Umiling siya. 

"What about that blonde girl you slept with?" Tumaas ang kilay ko. It still pisses me off kapag naaalala ko iyon. I wanted to know kung may contact pa rin siya sa babaeng iyon.

"Wala yun. It was just a one night stand." He answered. "And we didn't even have full blown sex. She just gave me head."

I covered my ears. "Ew, ew, ew! I don't want to hear that."

Tumawa siya ng malakas with his head thrown back. 

"It's  not funny!" Nakasimangot na sabi ko.

"Nagtanong ka, sinagot lang kita." He said smiling like an idiot. "You gave me head once. No, twice."

"It was only once. And I was drugged pa!"  I can feel my cheeks burning in embarrasment. But I tried na itago iyon.

"The first time you gave me head was the night your mom caught us in your room, remember?" He grinned. I could feel my face turning even more red. 

"No, I don't remember!" I rolled my eyes at him and he laughed even louder.

"Why don't you ask your mom. Baka natatandaan pa niya." He was still grinning, the horribly annoying kind of grin. If there's one thing na hindi nagbago sa kanya iyon ang pagiging alaskador niya.

"Isa pa, Tristan! I swear to God, aalis na ako!" Inis na sabi ko. 

"Okay, okay... I'll stop. Pikon ka pa rin pala." He chuckled, his laugh dying down. Maya-maya ay nawala ang ngiti niya sa labi.

"I heard you dated alot of guys? Mga hollywood stars." Nagsalita siya ulit.

"Yes, I did." Sagot ko.

"Why?" He asked.

"Why what?" Tanong ko.

"Why do you date other men if you really are happy with your husband? Why do you have sex with me? Wala ba siyang pakialam?" He asked exasperated.

"Hindi mo naiintindihan ang relasyon namin." I said calmly but firmly. "Palagi siyang wala sa tabi ko. Palagi kaming magkalayo at alam niya ang pagkukulang niya. He knows I have needs."

"He's an idiot. He doesn't know how to keep his woman happy." Naiiling na sabi niya.

 "Well, at least he never left me." I didn't even bother to try to hide the bitterness in my voice.

Nagbaba siya ng tingin. "I didn't want to do leave you, I had to." 

I shrugged. "Let's not talking about it. Hindi ba sabi mo kalilimutan muna natin iyon?"

He just nodded his head. I don't want to hear any bullshit lies from him. Hindi ako pumayag na sumama sa kanya para lang marinig ang mga kasinungalingan niya. I just wanted to be with him and forget everything. 

Tristan's POV

We're sitting on the grass in the park. Pagkatapos namin mamasyal we decided to go here. Andi was sitting in between my legs with her back leaning against my chest. The sun was already starting to set. Everything's just so perfect. How I wish we could just stay this way forever but like every good thing in life. It has to end. Naramdaman kong nag-iinit ang sulok ng mga mata ko sa pagpigil ng mga luha. This is all I want, to be with her just one more time and I will let her go.

Masaya na akong nasilayan ko yung dating Andi na minahal ko. I got to see her smile-- her warm genuine smile. I got to hear her adorable laugh. I got to see her eyes light up with happiness. Ayoko pang matapos ang araw na ito. I would give anything to stop time right now.

Hinalikan ko ang buhok niya. "I love you." I whispered to her. I'll always will. That will never change. I know I will never be completely over her. I will always wonder what might had happened kung hindi ko siya pinakawalan noon. Kung humingi ako ng tulong kay Jaime. Siguro masaya kami ngayon. Siguro may mga anak na kami. Isang lalaki at isang babae. Because that's what she had always wanted. She will always be my what if.

"Tristan..." Narinig kong sabi niya.

"Mm?" 

"Stop saying you love me. I don't want to hear it." Sabi niya. I felt a new hurt. It was like a fist had closed around my heart squeezing it.

We we decided to go back to the hotel. Pareho kaming tahimik habang nakasakay sa cab pabalik sa hotel. Every minute, every second... it fel like she was slipping away from me like water through cupped hands. Paano kaya kung hindi ko na siya ibalik? Paano kung pahintuin ko itong taxi at kidnapin ko na lang siya? Kung anu-anong pumapasok sa utak ko. I just don't want to let her go yet.

The cab stopped in front of the hotel. I guess this is goodbye. Mabigat ang paang bumaba ako sa sasakyan. Hinatid ko siya hanggang sa kwarto niya.

"Goodnight." Pinilit kong ngumiti. Nasa labas ako ng pinto niya. She didn't say anything, tinitigan niya lang ako. After a few seconds of silence I decided to leave. 

"Tristan..." Napahinto ako sa paghakbang ng marinig ko ang boses niya. "Ako naman ang pagbigyan mo. Stay with me tonight."

Humarap ako sa kanya. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me inside the room. Hinalikan niya ako. It was a rough hungry kiss, I kissed her back with the same intensity. Bumaba ang kamay niya sa butones ng shirt ko at isa-isa iyong tinanggal.

Bumaba ang halik niya sa leeg ko. She sucked on my neck and bit it softly. She probably even left hickeys all over my neck but I don't really mind. My hands started to roam all over her body. Her sweet hot lips left my neck and she sucked on my nipple, gently nibbling it. She moved to the other one and did the same. Damn! She hasn't even touched my dick and I feel like I'm already on the verge of orgasm. Lumuhod siya sa harap ko na ikinagulat ko. 

"Mahal ko..." Paos ang tinig na sabi ko. She looked up at me and gave me a naughty smile. 

"I can do it better than her. I could make you feel so good." Sabi niya bago tinanggal ang butones ng suot kong pantalon. She pulled my pants down with my boxer. Her eyes widened as she stared at my dick. She took it in her hand and began to stroke it.

"Ahh... Andi..." Napahawak ako sa balikat niya at napapikit. And then I felt her hot little mouth around my dick. She started sucking the head while stroking my shaft. This is fucking heaven. Ibinaba ko ang strap ng dress niya pati ng bra niya. I massaged her breast eagerly. She moaned, her lips vibrating against my dick. Napasinghap ako sa sarap ng sensasyon  na iyon. I began rolling her nipple between my thumb and forefinger and she moaned even more.

We just started and I'm already so close. She stroked it even faster and sucked it even harder. Then she slowly slid it in her mouth. Inch by inch. I moaned loudly when I felt her mouth around my shaft. It's so warm, soft and wet. It felt so good. Her head moved back and forth, taking as much of my length as she could. I felt my dick hit the back of her throat and she gagged a little.

"A-andi, you don't have to force yourself." Paos ang tinig na sabi ko. I attempt to pull away but she wouldn't let me. She grabbed my ass and pulled me farther into her. Shit! I don't think I will be able to hold it any longer. I squeezed her breast a little tighter.

"I'm going to come, Andi... God, I'm coming." I groaned and I released myself in her mouth. My come spilled out of her mouth and ran down her chin. It's the most erotic thing I've ever seen. I could feel my shaft getting hard again.

She pulled my dick out of my mouth. Napaluhod ako sa tabi niya. I took off my shirt and used it to wipe my come from her face.

"You didn't have to do that." Sabi ko habang pinupunasan siya.

"But you did like it?" She asked with a faint smile.

"Yes, that was so good."

"Pervert." She giggled. "Now, you go down on me."

I lifted her dress and pulled her panties down. Dumapa ako sa pagitan ng mga hita niya. I lowered my head to her pussy and started licking her. She was already wet, her come taste so good. I spread her pussy with my fingers and plunge my tongue into her hole. 

"Tristan..." She whimpered.

My tongue darted in and out of her until she bucked and grab onto my shoulders. It didn't take long for her to reach her orgasm. 

Nahiga na kami sa kama pagkatapos nun. Pareho kaming napagod sa pamamasyal at nakatulog agad kami.

We're on our way to the airport. Hindi na kami nag-usap ni Andi simula kaninang umaga. I quietly left her room and went back to mine. There was an awkward atmosphere around us. Kahit si Cassie at Phoenix ay hindi nagkikibuan. Phoenix looked like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Kanina pa mainit ang ulo niya kaya hindi ko siya magawang makausap.

Sumakay kami sa eroplano. Dapat si Andi ang katabi ko at si Phoenix at Cassie ang magkatabi ngunit nakipagpalit si Andi kay Phoenix. 

"Something wrong?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"I proposed to Cassie." He said before gulping down his glass of wine.

"And?" Kunot ang noong tanong ko.

"She fucking rejected my marriage proposal." Pigil ang galit na sabi nito.

"I'm sorry, dude." I said symphatetically.

He looked at me and gave me the 'I don't fucking need your pity' look. "Kaya ko lang naman gustong pakasalan siya dahil ayokong maging bastardo ang magiging anak namin."

Lumapag ang eroplanong sinasakyan namin sa Manila. Naghihiwalay na kami nang makalabas kami sa airport. Nakita kong sinalubong ni Jason si Andi. They hugged each other. I wanted to look away because it hurts to see her in the arms of another man but I couldn't. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko habang pinanonood ko sila. Andi cupped Jason's face and kissed him on the lips. Pagkatapos ay tumingin siya sa akin. Pinilit ko ang sarili kong ngumiti nang mapatingin siya sa akin bago nagbaba nang tingin at tumalikod na.