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Different

TW: Mentions of R*PE and S*XUAL ABUSE

Ashley wasn't always paranoid of her past. She was once a happy, carefree person with a thirst for knowledge, and a smile found on her face. It wasn't until 8th grade, when Ashley was 13.

She hadn't expected much of that day, but it wasn't until music that her life changed forever. She met a new kid, one she hadn't met before.

He was tall, dark, and handsome. Ashley's friends would tease her about the stupid grin she'd get when she saw him, or how she never tried talking to him. Tori told her his name was Richard Wynne, a name Ashley used quite often.

He was a student of the high school the building over, but he came over to the school as a part of a teacher's assistant project the schools were doing, so Ashley saw him at least three times a week.

"Class," the teacher had said one day, "This is Richard," he said, and Richard had stood up.

"He's here because of the project our school and the high school he attends are doing. He's here to help anyone with any difficulties with their instrument."

Everyone nodded in agreement and began playing the instrument they chose.

Ashley had just started trying to play the flute, but failed continuously.

"No, you do it like this."

She jumped at the sound of a voice, and turned to see Richard playing the flute. He played a merry tune which made Ashley smile.

"How'd you learn to play like that," she asked him. He laughed.

"Years of practice, but I have a feeling you'll do better if you don't force it."

He showed her techniques throughout the session, and Ashley came to understand the flute and Richard a bit better.

"What's you're name anyway," he asked her.

"Ashley. Ashley Sanderson."

"I'm- Well, you already know. Call me Rich."

The two of them had bonded well throughout the school year. She's see him in music three times a week, and sometimes maybe even more than that. He enamoured her with jokes and constant musical performances, all of which Ashley enjoyed hearing.

"You know, Ash," he told her one day in February, "I've never felt so close to someone like this."

He grabbed and squeezed her hand. Despite being two years older, he always acted younger.

"We have a connection," Ashley joked, laughing slightly.

But Rich didn't. He turned to look at Ashley, and smiled. "Yeah, we really do."

He leaned in, and Ashley's heart pounded. She felt all the butterflies in her stomach suddenly disappear as Rich gave her her first kiss.

***

It had been an interesting year. Erin had "published" a book that spread like wildfire across the school, titled "14 Beliefs", and Ashley was in a "secret relationship" with Rich. It wasn't anything much, until after she turned 14.

At first, he had assured her it was a one time thing, but she wasn't so sure after a while.

It was the same thing. She'd see him, he'd take her away, and then-

"Ashley!"

Ashley snapped out of the trance she was in. Erin was shaking her arm.

"Hey, Ginny," she said. Ashley smiled at the nickname.

"What's on your mind," Erin asked. Ashley shrugged.

"Stuff," she answered. Erin's brow rose.

"As in..?"

Ashley sighed. "I've got a secret. And I know the only person I can trust is you. OK?"

Erin nodded eagerly.

Ashley hesitated. "I've.. been seeing Rich."

Erin blinked. "Really?"

Ashley nodded. "At first it was just every now and then. I'd bump into him in the hall, or he'd help me in music. It wasn't serious, until now."

Her stomach clenched. "He's been... Doing things to me. It wasn't much, but now.."

Erin seemed to understand almost immediately. "What? Why?"

Ashley shook her head. "I don't know! He was just a normal guy, but now he's insane. Like he's got an addiction to me."

"Or what you could do for him," Erin muttered, "RedHead, when this.. first happened, did you stop him?"

Ashley shook her head, ashamed. "He promised me he wouldn't do it often, but-"

She couldn't get the rest out; she had broke into tears.

"Ash! Ashley, listen. It's not your fault! It never is. It's his. RedHead, listen."

Ashley looked up into Erin's concerned brown eyes. "He did this to you, you didn't know. It's OK."

Ashley nodded and placed a hand on her neck. She rubbed it hard, until the concealer she used rubbed off. She showed Erin the bruise like patch on her skin.

"He.. you know."

Erin nodded and pulled Ashley in for a hug. "Don't worry, we'll handle this. OK?"

Ashley nodded. She was sure he would stop.

He would stop.

He would stop.

***

Fortunately for Ashley, she had to switch schools for high school, and she never saw Rich again.

It was a good thing too. The guilt in Ashley was becoming too much to bear, so now that it was gone, life was good. After all, people assumed she was still a virgin, she didn't want the truth revealed.

High school was fine. Ashley was commonly found in the theater department, it was her calling.

Freshman year went by, and Ashley found herself a sophomore. She had tried out for the musical of that year, Seussical, and got the part of Jojo. The director told her many productions featured a female Jojo, so she'd do fine.

Ashley was just practicing in a secluded area after school, when she heard someone else singing not that far away. She followed the voice and found the singer.

His back was facing her, but she didn't need to see his face to know who he was. He was the principal's son, Philip Nirmal.

He turned around in time to see Ashley, and she yelped.

"Sorry," she apologized, "I just heard you singing, and wanted to get a closer look."

"That's quite all right," he told her. He extended his hand out to her.

"Philip's the name. And you are?"

"Ashley Sanderson. Pleasure to meet you."

"I assure you, the pleasure is all mine."

She spent time with Philip in a more professional way then she had with Rich. She would "require his assistance," and he'd gladly give it to her. They bonded over their love of theater and the tragedy of high school.

It was better this way, Ashley would tell herself. And it was. He never interacted with her in a way that wasn't professional.

But one day.....

It was after school, Ashley and Philip were in her room, practicing again.

"And that, my dear Ashley, is a perfect rendition," Philip said with a smile.

Ashley grinned and sat on her bed. She had been working overtime because of her many passions, but she never truly got tired of them.

"I've been practicing forever," Ashley told him, "And with an amazing coach."

The smile Philip gave her melted her insides like butter. He leaned in, not to close, but enough.

"I've only had an amazing student," he said with a smile. Ashley couldn't help but look into his dark, brown eyes.

"Yeah, thanks."

Nothing, and then, everything. Before long, he was hovering over her, on her bed.

"I- I'm sorry," Ashley exclaimed. Philip got off of her, and she sat up.

"That was.. interesting," Philip said softly. Ashley turned pink at his words.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"No, it's quite alright," he said with a smile.

He turned to her, and she laughed softly. "I mean, if you wanted me to do that again, I could."

They laughed and looked at each other with a smile. And then they kissed again.

***

Philip treated Ashley much better than Rich had. He informed her whenever he wanted to do something with her, he kept her happy, and he made her feel better when she felt down.

It was so relieving to have Philip as a boyfriend, he was sweet, and he cared about how she felt when things got intimate.

He made Ashley feel comfortable, which was something she couldn't say about Rich. In fact, on introducing him to her mother, she happily explained that they'd been together for at least a few months, and that he made her happy.

"Oh, that's wonderful," her mother exclaimed, "As long as you're happy."

And she was. Philip loved her like no one else has before. He placed her input before everyone else's, and truly enjoyed being with her.

"If all goes well," he told her one day in March, "I'll still be here, and I promise you and I will be happy."

Ashley smiled and cuddled closer with him. "Thanks, Phil."

Unfortunately, Philip had matters to attend to, and Ashley wouldn't be able to see him again.

"We'll meet again, Ashley," he told her, "One day, in all this confusion, we will find each other. We do have a connection."

He kissed the top of her forehead and left. But not before leaving his mark on her.

***

The end of sophomore year marked Ashley's successful performance. She was sad that Philip had left, but she grew past it.

"Ashley, are you OK?"

Erin. Ashley looked up to her and nodded. Erin smiled.

"You seem distant. What's up?"

"It's Philip," she told her, "He left a few months ago."

Erin immediately tensed. "Did he.."

"No," Ashley exclaimed, "Philip didn't, but it was relieving when he was around. It made my story realistic."

Erin blinked. "What story?"

"That Phil's the one I lost my virginity to," Ashley said with a shrug, "With Rich out of the picture, it was better."

Erin nodded, albeit nervously.

"If you say so."

***

Sophomore passed and junior came. Ashley tried out for cheerleading, and was made head. Now having to balance cheerleading, theater (this year's was Mean Girls; Ashley as Cady), and being a junior, Ashley was getting pretty exhausted. She had expected a normal life at this point. Boy, was that wrong.

It was a normal day so far. Ashley made it through her first few classes with ease, and was sitting in the cafeteria, humming 'Stupid With Love' quietly.

She wasn't paying much attention to who or what was in front of her, just her lunch.

"Excuse me?"

She looked up. Her eyes were met with a tall, large figure. She blinked.

Great, it's someone I don't need, she thought. But when she looked again, she realized.

It was Roland Dervan, the president of the student body. He was looking at her, and she wasn't sure why.

"Yes," she asked.

"You're the head cheerleader, right," he asked. She nodded.

"And your point is?"

"We just need you to fill out a survey for us," Roland explained. Ashley sighed.

"All right, hand it over."

He handed her a clipboard with a multiple choice survey, one Ashley completed relatively fast.

"Here," she said. He skimmed through her answers. Then looked back at her.

"You're head cheerleader, yet you marked 'theater' as your favorite subject."

Ashley nodded. "I marked it off correctly. I'm a theater kid."

He nodded. "Interesting. Thank you for your output."

He walked away. Ashley watched him go, hoping she didn't get dragged into all of this.

***

And yet she did. She found him roaming the hallways, and if he laid eyes on her, he'd turn red and dash off. She 'd involuntarily help the other members when they needed it, and so she always found herself with him.

For the most part, he left her alone, giving her assignments to keep her busy, stuff Ashley didn't mind doing.

She eventually got closer to Roland. He gave her more difficult tasks, ones he knew only she could accomplish.

"And we have the money for the prom this year," Ashley exclaimed. She plopped a box full of cash onto the table. They had just finished a hearty bake sale, and the results were clear.

"Thanks, Ash," Roland said, squeezing her into a hug. He leaned into her ear, and whispered:

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

***

"There you are!"

She had ran into Roland. He had been seeing her, but usually for "release," not that Ashley minded.

"I've been looking for you," he announced, "Game night! You're going out tonight, right?"

Ashley nodded. Roland kissed her cheek. "Thanks, dear. You're amazing!"

She watched him walk off, another pit of guilt building in her stomach.

***

The game was won by their school, so Ashley just sat on one of the bleachers.

"Ashley," came a voice. Ashley turned to see Roland.

"You're here," he said. She nodded.

"I mean, where else would I be?"

He nodded and sat next to her. "You know," he told her, "There's this amazing connection we have."

Shit. She was trapped. Of course this would happen.

"Yes, there is."

"I just hope maybe we could extend it to beyond friends?"

"Like, what, friends with benefits," Ashley asked. He laughed and turned to her, the April wind messing up with his hair.

"No, something better," he said. He placed his hands on hers, and leaned in.

***
Senior year. The musical was Heathers, with Ashley as Veronica. She was officially Roland's girlfriend, although she thought of it to be more of a slave/slave owner relationship they had.

Everyone knew, of course, but Ashley just wanted a break. From the constant questions, the fact that the whole school knew that the head cheerleader was dating the prez of the SBC, and from life itself. Erin checked in on her a multitude of times, making sure she was alright. And she was.

Or so she thought.

***

It was a chaotic day. Ashley had rehearsals in the middle of History, so she had her free period. She sat alone for a while, until he came.

"Hello?"

She turned around to find a familiar face. His dark brown eyes with blond hair made it easy for Ashley to call him Erin's twin brother, but he wasn't. He was Daniel Maxwell, treasurer for the SB.

"Hey, Dan," Ashley said. He sat down. She had seen him plenty of times, he helped with the fundraisers.

"Hi. You OK?"

Ashley groaned. "No. Now that Roland and I are together, I can't catch a break! I'm hunted down for questioning, or stuck at rehearsal, or God knows what!"

She let out a huff. Daniel nodded and handed her a bottle. Ashley grew incredibly suspicious.

"The hell's in that," she asked. Daniel laughed.

"It's just water. You need to calm down, and drinking helps."

She took the bottle apprehensively, and drank. The cool liquid indeed calmed her down.

"Ah. Thanks, Daniel."

He patted her back. "No problem."

***

Ashley found herself more drawn to Daniel than anyone over that year. He cared for her like Philip once had, making sure she's OK, attending her rehearsals in case she needed a ride, keeping her happy. And on the days when Roland wasn't around, they'd hang out.

"So, what do you want to do," Daniel asked her one particular day. Ashley who was bored out of her mind, decided to mess with with.

"I don't know. I mean, if you seek Amy."

He blinked. "Say that again."

"If you see Amy? Why?"

He laughed. "Don't think I'm not picking up what you're putting down. Do you really want me to?"

Ashley thought about. "Yes. If you see Amy."

He nodded. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

***

'BEAUTIFUL~~!'

And with a bang the production was over. Ashley stood, breathing heavily, on stage with all of her castmates, having completed her final musical.

After they'd finish with a little stagedoor, Ashley was home with Daniel. He had come in Roland's place.

"Ashley, that was amazing," he exclaimed, giving her a kiss.

"Thanks," she said, squeezing his hand.

"I wasn't sure how I did, but you really made me feel better."

He laughed. The cool May day was just the setting for this perfect mood.

"Keep that up, and you might hit Broadway."

She laughed. "I really don't think so."

The two of the sat on Ashley's bed. Both of them looked deeply into each other's eyes.

"Ashley, I gotta tell ya something," he said.

She nodded. "Anything."

He sighed. "There's just this amazing connection between us, you know?"

The world stopped. Ashley stood uo abruptly. "No," she said faintly. Daniel stood up as well.

"Ashley? You OK?"

It all hit her like a bag of bricks. He never wanted her happy, he wanted  her. Not her emotions, her body.

Just like all of them. Every. Single. One.

"Ashley!"

She snapped out of her trance and looked at the door. Her heart dropped.

"Roland?"

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